Chapter 5: White World
"Okay, so neither of you actually understands what this Force thing is." Jim said as he ran his hand across the back of his neck for the umpteenth time. "But it's apparently universal and is used by these 'Jedi', who are all a part of some religion but haven't been seen or heard from in decades."
At Jyn's careful nod Jim chuckled incredulously, closing his eyes and letting the absurdity of everything he was hearing sink in.
"I was curious about your universe but all this just sounds like science fiction. And I've seen Black Holes bursting out from red floating blobs and swallowing up an entire planet. Though it definitely is- to use a well-worn phrase of a friend of mine- fascinating."
Although both Cassian and Jyn had spent the entire meeting tense and quiet, he could see them relaxing into the casual atmosphere, their shoulders finally melting out of their rigid states. He stared as Jyn absently played with the piece of crystal hanging around her neck, his tired mind hypnotised by the movement of her fingers, before he was shaken out of the stupor by her deep, serious eyes meeting his.
"What will you do to us?" asked Cassian and Jim noticed how he slightly, almost imperceptibly, leaned in closer to Jyn as though readying to throw himself in front of her in case of danger. It was a subconscious move, but it spoke volumes.
"I don't think I've reached the doing part yet. I think both myself and the rest of the command team are still stuck here trying the understanding." Jim locked his eyes with the mistrustful ones of the other captain. "What I mean is, we have no plans for you in the long run. Apart from the very unfortunate circumstance of both of you looking exactly like two officers whose deaths still weigh on everyone's minds, you are individuals in your own right, non-hostile (and I hope, for your sakes, you remain such) and without a home we could drop you off in. Your lives are your own, though I get the feeling my Science officer would give up the tips of his ears to study you two."
"Have you found a way to send us back to our world."
Jyn's stony, constantly mistrustful gaze locked onto Jim as though he were a target at a shooting range, her question sounding more like a statement. No, an order. Jim looked at her and all he could see was a soldier, calculating and cold, never letting down her guard. However, strangely enough, it was also her insistence on only showing that particular facet of herself to everyone around her that made her, in Jim's eyes, all the more human. It was as though the emotion and forgotten softness were absolutely brimming below the surface of her hardened armour and it took this robotic act, built up through years of repression and training, to keep it held back.
Cassian, on the other hand, didn't hide his tired, hunted eyes. He was every bit a fighter, but it was less of a wall he'd built around himself and more a weary resignation to his own fate. He bore the scars of his battles on the surface, like a man who'd long ago given up on pretending to be better. Yet Jim saw a fire flickering in the corners of his irises and it hadn't taken him long to figure out that much of what fanned those flames lately was Jyn Erso and that they could burn a hole through the Enterprise without a second's notice should the spark fly.
He sighed, leaning back in his chair and considering what damage the people before him could do should the trigger be pulled.
"No, though not for lack of trying." He replied, watching Jyn's lips pull into a tight line. "I'm afraid we have no idea what caused the switch this time around. Last time we encountered a Mirror Universe was during an ion storm and trust me when I say that when you two dropped it in had been smooth sailing on our side for weeks. We thought it may have been the energy blast in your 'verse that triggered a rift between the universes, but it's all speculation at this point. Scotty's the best in his field, trust me, but even he's stumped as to what the beaming records show."
Jyn seemed to take in the information and glance momentarily at Cassian, who looked as grim as ever. Jim could almost sense the desperation radiating from her.
"Then in the mean time, I'd like to learn more about this universe myself." She said with unnecessary defiance, probably built on habit. "If we're going to be stuck here, I'll find a way to make myself useful."
"Me too." Cassian looked pensive. "If you would allow, Captain Kirk, I would offer my services to the Federation. From what I've learned it seems like a worthy cause to fight for. And lives are lives, regardless of what universe they are in."
Jim stared at the rebel Captain before catching himself and grinning.
"See, I said we'd get along." he said, noticing Jyn's wide eyes regarding her friend. "Unfortunately I can't give you any official status or access to restricted information and facilities, but that could be a matter of time. If you keep giving us reasons to trust you, I'll see what I can do."
Jim stood, stretching his muscles and the two officer look-alikes followed suit, Jyn placing a hand on Cassian's shoulder and looking halfway between shocked and preoccupied.
"In the mean time, you'll have more than enough on your plates with my crew. I've heard officers Malbus and Rook have been trying to break into the medbay for days. I want you to understand that it's difficult for the people around here to accept what has happened, if maybe not in the same way that it is for you. In any case, you're under my protection and so are they, so please don't go getting into any…" Jim paused, wincing at the memory of his savage, alternate self holding a dagger pressed to Uhura's neck "… confrontations."
He received a curt nod from Cassian and a pointed look from Jyn in response as they walked out of the room. It finally dawned on him that he was trusting two completely alien creatures, soldiers, to roam free aboard the Enterprise and that he really, truly, in the depths of his heart, trusted them.
Jim was not a man to disregard his instincts.
He also had no idea what was in store.
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Cassian's new quarters were located, strategically, right next to Jyn's. He didn't quite know how to feel about that.
They'd refused to live in their alternate selves' old rooms. Cassian was more terrified of witnessing what a happier, sane Cassian's life might have looked like than he was of the Deathstar.
Instead, he brushed his palm across the fabric of his sterile pillow and wished for the hundredth time that he hadn't, in those short and yet unforgettable days in the medbay, gotten used to hearing the quiet breaths of Jyn Erso at his ear. It was a lullaby he would likely not sleep without for a while.
It was ridiculous. This entire thing was ridiculous.
He'd always dreamed of the day when he'd be free of the Empire and now none of that mattered anymore. He knew he could find a purpose here, in this Universe, but everything just felt… hollow. Everything but Jyn Erso.
He'd learnt of the cycles of time the Enterprise functioned in and he knew that it had been twelve hours since he'd woken up at the medbay. He'd have to either go to sleep soon. Jyn was probably already asleep.
Jyn Jyn Jyn.
The name danced in his head like a sound clip stuck in a loop. He was reminded of a younger, stupider Cassian and a soft-faced, brave Rebel pilot girl names Jess staring at him wistfully as they faced each other at the Base's hangar.
I'm sorry, Cassian, she'd said.
She died a year after she'd broken his heart, blown up together with her X-wing, but he realised now that it had hardly been heartbreak. Few soldiers of the Rebellion ever married or had families. The life expectancy was too low and their lives too cluttered with the cause. That day he'd realised that what Jess had been was merely a comforting symbol of stability and not one that could have ever lasted. All it had given him was a week of sleepless nights filled with guilt and grief, drenched with the knowledge that he had never really meant for it to last and all he'd done was taken her away from someone that may have really loved her.
Jyn was…
He was stumbling through the warm, moist atmosphere of Scarif again, his hand gripping his blaster numbly, blinding pain shooting through his ribs and legs. He saw Krennic, wrestling with Jyn and it was subconscious- the blaster shot his hand automatically delivered. He caught her wild, untamed gaze and he tasted victory as she stumbled towards him.
He felt her grip and it felt right. It couldn't be, that he'd known her for less than a few days. She felt like the first person he'd known for a lifetime, the one that hadn't been and wouldn't be taken away. Dying together had seemed like the only possible outcome at the time. There was no Cassian Andor left after the shockwave that Jyn Erso blasted through his existence.
Cassian came back to himself, to the white-walled reality of the Enterprise and felt a sad laughter bubbling up in the pit of his stomach. He was a fool, probably too lonely for far too long and latching on to the first human that he felt anything for. It was a mistake, more so because his need to see Jyn was more because she was the only thing familiar in this universe of foreign things. It had to be that. He couldn't lose the one friend he had left in the world to something as stupid as what he was feeling.
It was time to explore a little more of his new home and get his thoughts in order. Sleep could wait a little.
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The ship's corridors were busier than Cassian had expected and he suddenly felt far too exposed in his non-uniform civilian clothes. Although most of the officers rushing past him were too busy to pay too much attention to him, there were more than enough glances and whispers to make him feel on edge as he roamed the whitewashed walls.
White. It was a thing that really struck him. The Rebellion's ships and bases had always had a good layer of grime on them, a rainbow of camouflage colours beneath it all. Everything often stank of fuel and sweat and occasionally blood. The sterility of the Enterprise was disconcerting, though he'd visited some planets and ships during his intelligence missions that had involved a similar strange aesthetic, it only served to remind him of how far away from home he really was.
Cassian took care to remember how to get back to his quarters, mapping out the route he took with diligence, but the ship was large and every corner melted into yet another passage with panels and doors lining its pale walls. He discovered rooms with pads for reading and studying, mess halls filled with chattering humanoids in red and blue uniforms and finally stumbled into a giant hall with a viewing screen so large that it filled his periphery. He blinked and realised that it was a glass screen with breath-taking vista of the stars and planets surrounding the Enterprise.
He looked around and noticed a small bar at one end of the hall and a few tables near the screen surrounded by barstools. The room was nearly empty, a few officers quietly conversing at one of the corner tables. This was the first space that lacked the white theme of the rest of the ship, the lights dimmed and the surroundings bathed in the darkness of space provided by the screen's image. Cassian felt himself engrossed in the familiarity of the cosmos, his muscles relaxing for the first time since he'd left the medbay.
He made his way to the bar, hoping against hope that this wouldn't require an interaction with people he wasn't yet ready for. There was no bartender as far as he could see, but a woman was already there, dressed in (what he'd learned to be) science blue and she winked at him as she poured herself a strange-shaped glass full of red liquid and strolled to join a companion at one of the tables. He looked around at the bottles lined up before him and decided to risk grabbing one of the glasses and pouring himself some of the same drink.
The first sip made him think it was something he could get used to.
"Cassian did always like his wine, the princess." He heard a familiar voice sound behind him and almost dropped the glass.
He turned around to find the almost too familiar and yet entirely alien face of Baze Malbus staring back at him. He was so vastly different to the Baze Cassian could remember that his brain had a moment of panic as it teetered between the gruff warrior of his memories and the short-haired, uniformed version that stood before him. He came back to himself and felt that his mouth was hanging open in surprise.
"So," the other-Baze began, a spice of mistrust peppering every syllable "I heard you're Cassian Andor, newcomer from yet another Mirror Universe no one seems to be able to explain or understand. Welcome aboard the Enterprise, I hope you've not got a bloodthirsty need to overthrow your seniors and stab people with daggers or swords."
Cassian couldn't manage to delve into the particulars of the strange things this ghost of a man was saying to him because the only thing he could see in his mind's eye clearly was the image of a bloodied corpse lying on the sands of Scarif, an image his mind had created and was refusing to erase.
"Baze…" he whispered.
Other-Baze frowned, his eyes boring into Cassian's as he straightened.
"How do you know my name?"