Author's Notes: This was a tough one, since I know where the story's going but there are a lot of things left to do before my own favourite juicy parts. I've also found myself reacquainting with all things Trek over the Holidays (freedom is detrimental, I should get back to actual work), so the background reading occasionally took over for the writing.

Anyway, enough rants! Hope you all had a great New Year's (I don't remember half of mine, but only in the best way), and that the moodiness of the winter months don't weigh you down too much (shoutout to everyone in the Northern hemisphere, I've been watching the sun set around 3-4pm for a few weeks)!

Chapter 8: Don't Sweat It

Jim woke to the quiet but insistent beeping of a personal communication on his PADD. Sluggishly, he lifted the screen before his bleary, sleep-deprived eyes and groaned. Galen Erso's name flashed brightly at the top of his communiques and he didn't need too much imagination to figure out what the infamous scientist's concerns would be.

Their mapping mission in the quadrant was coming to an end as they waited for orders from Starfleet on how to proceed with the uncomfortable situation of Erso and Andor. Jim could still feel the bile rising in his throat every time he thought about how needlessly and quickly some of his best ground-ops officers were taken away. Over the years on the Enterprise he'd seen far too much death but it never got easier. No one could learn to console a grieving family, not really. Jim had met Galen Erso in the past, briefly, but even that was enough to make him dread having to speak to him in any way about the demise of his daughter or the woman that now bore her face. He typed out a reminder to arrange a meeting with Galen some time after his shift, reluctance weighing down each word.

He was halfway to the bridge when his eyes caught the shape of a lone woman, leaning against a wall, her eyes staring off into the distance. He paused for a second and almost laughed at how well this version of Jyn seemed to consistently pull off the rebellious, moody look even when she wasn't necessarily focused on anything. He sobered, however, realising that not only was the alien woman alone but there was something about her stance that seemed off. He stopped.

Jyn appeared to notice him, but refused to acknowledge it. He was reminded of their first few conversations and how haunted and broken both her and Cassian had seemed. She was pretty, a woman Jim would definitely have made a move on in his younger years (nowadays he was far happier spending a night playing chess with Spock or burning through an excellent bottle of Scotch that Bones had nicked from Chekhov's room), but her beauty was marred by the darkness of her eyes and the bags under them, as well as the tightness of her stance which spoke of a wounded, defensive animal rather than one of inviting charm.

"How was last night?" he asked, for lack of anything else to say. "I hope you didn't come away thinking the Russians pretty much gave birth to the Universe and all the good that ever existed in it."

He smiled, but his light-hearted comment barely elicited a twitch. He decided to try again.

"How's Cassian holding up? I haven't really-"

Before he could finish his thought, Jyn's eyes shot up to meet his and he realised he'd hit the nail on the head. Or he'd just smashed the hammer straight into his own fingers full-force.

"Don't you have better things to do, Captain James Kirk?" she hissed. He was stunned by her aggression.

"Look, I know it's tough to be in your situation. Hell, I can't even begin to imagine it. I mean, this morning I had to… " he stopped himself before he mentioned Galen Erso. God only knew this was not the moment to bring up her dead-yet-now-living father. "… nevermind. We're not the bad guys here, I'm trying my best to keep the Federation from carting you off to some lab where they'd dissect everything about you and your universe. I swear that if I could help you out or bring back our Jyn and Cassian, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, none of us have the luxury of clear answers, so you'll have to make do with what you've got."

As he spoke, Jim felt her defiance recede and be replaced instead with surprise. She looked up at him and stood straighter.

"I just… I don't know what my place here- anywhere- is." She whispered. "Everything I have is gone and I just can't… I can't start again. I don't think I ever got to start in the first place, not really. I need something to do, to help me forget."

Jim sighed, feeling ridiculously underqualified. He may have been Captain for four long years, but he was still young, still felt like he was the last person to be entrusted with knowing how to handle things, how to protect all these people.

"We all feel like that sometimes, trust me."

Your father was the captain of a starship for twelve minutes. I dare you to do better.

"I still have absolutely no idea why I'm trusting you to be honest. I know you and Cassian can do good, I just do. So please, all I ask is that you trust us too, that you would expect me to do the best I can, and Uhura, and Spock and everyone else aboard this ship. I'm tired of losing lives so maybe I'm just glad to at least have gained two."

Jyn was now staring at him. He rubbed the back of his neck, but she was listening intently and he could feel the gears turning in her head.

"Look, I gotta go do my job, but if you need a break, go to the gym. Sweating off the stress always helps me." He shrugged. "If anybody on the ship is bothering you, you can come talk to me any time. Or Bones- the man's taken a liking to you for whatever crazy reason his sunburnt Southern brain made up."

With that, Jim felt he was done. It was only so much he could handle for one morning, as much as he wanted to help. He was about to turn away when she shifted, pushing herself away from the wall.

"Where is the gym?"

0000000

Jyn fumed, burning with embarrassment. She had not meant to stop in the hallway, to find herself slowly sinking into the depths of uncertainty that had plagued her since Scarif. She couldn't understand what had made her suddenly feel so lost, so small, but it had been overwhelming. Jim's words helped, but only to make her snap out of the darkness in favour of action- there was nothing he'd told her that she wasn't aware of.

Well, perhaps it was the kindness that had helped. It reminded her of the night before, of her contentment, her feeling of purpose. But what good was having a purpose if she could never achieve it, stuck in this bizarre realm? What good was friendship if all she aimed to do was to leave it behind? The only person that had felt the burn of blaster bolts, seen the white skull-helmets of the Storm Troopers and the sneers of men who were less-than-men, who razed entire planets to nothingness, the only person that had… the only one was Cassian.

But Cassian wasn't there. He'd left her, like everyone else.

No, she shouldn't be angry or disappointed. Cassian was probably exploring, enjoying his newfound freedom.

Who am I to deny him this?

And yet she missed him, inexplicably and infuriatingly. It was so stupid, so ridiculous: that she couldn't spend a single day on her own here, that she needed him to calm her as though she couldn't take care of herself.

He obviously didn't need her like she needed him. She wouldn't- couldn't- be weak. After all, she was going to find a way home, to blow up the Death Star, to slaughter the men that took her father away. And she was going to do it alone. It was a thought that finally pushed his face out of her mind and she clenched her fists, revelling in the sensation of determination that finally flooded her mind.

She followed Jim's directions to after grabbing a bite from the replicator, avoiding the mess hall until one of her new-found companions could shield her from onlookers (everyone she'd met the night before was still on Alpha-shift). It was calming to have something to do, the notion of training and sweat putting her mind into the robotic trance of her youth. She'd discovered that she'd been provided with comfortable clothes for the occasion too- a cropped black top and some loose training trousers and she slipped them on with relief.

When she finally found it, she stepped into the gym through its wide sliding doors confidently, yearning to feel the familiar burn of her muscles.

And then her world crashed to a violent stop.

"Baze…"

Before her was the face of a dead man, one she'd often seen in her dreams during the past week. He was different, yet entirely the same. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't-

"Jyn." She heard, her mind not yet caught up with her. "Jyn!"

And then there was Cassian and she could almost feel her anxiety deflating. He was red in the face and sweat poured from his hairline and his chest, littered with scars, tanned with the light of a sun she'd never known, small hairs lining its middle and she could almost count them with a clarity and focus she'd never known she possessed.

And then she was in control again, at least as much as she could muster. She considered the scene before her as three men approached her and Oh, Bodhi. It was obvious that Cassian and… whoever this Baze-lookalike was, had been sparring or something along those lines. The ghost of Bodhi she had not noticed, but he was also covered in sweat. She found herself frozen.

"Jyn Erso?" the new Baze spoke, grinning and it was as if she was seeing double- the man in her memories and the clean-cut one standing before her. "I've heard a lot about you. I can't wait to hear it all in your own words."

Bodhi just smiled, almost shyly. He looked curious but stayed silent, apparently sizing her up. She could barely believe it was him were it not for the almost improbable air surrounding the entire event. As for Cassian…

Cassian stood between the two, his expression almost unreadable. His eyes seemed to bore into hers with something desperate, something almost like… fear? Possession? She couldn't place it, but it was making her head spin so she looked away, suddenly feeling lost as to what she should be doing with her face, her hands, her entire body.

"What… who are you?" she asked.

"I am officer Baze Malbus." Said the ghost. "And this is officer Bodhi Rook. Cassian, I suppose, you are more than familiar with."

Baze was most definitely enjoying himself. He'd paused for a second, startled by the appearance of this Jyn-lookalike, but a few seconds in the presence of both other-worlders was enough to tell him that he would have a lot to meddle in, in the best of ways. Now, though, it was clear that Jyn Erso of the Force-world would have to be eased into the new reality the same way that Cassian had been, before anything else could be done.

Cassian still hadn't said anything, but Jyn could see him wrestling with himself, desperate to speak and yet unwilling to open his mouth. She found herself wishing it would be just the two of them- she wasn't ready for all that this universe had decided to hurl at her, she just needed him to explain it to her. But life wasn't so simple.

"Are you…" she struggled to find the right word. "… the mirrors?"

"They are." Cassian finally mumbled and his voice was slightly hoarse. Her gaze immediately went to meet his. "They are the Baze and Bodhi of this universe. There is also a Chirrut, but he's not on the ship at the moment."

"We ain't no mirrors, kid." Baze grumbled. "I'm as real as the two of you, as the rest of this ship. I thought we'd gone over this already. This multiple-universe crap is just too complicated. Anyway, it's great to meet you too. Care to join us for the morning spar before I set up my next interrogation?"

"Be nice, Baze." Bodhi chided. He smiled at Jyn. "I've only just met Cassian myself, I know how disconcerting it can be. We can leave the introductions for later, if you'd like to join us for the morning."

"I…" Jyn couldn't quite grasp the reality before her. She was saved by Cassian, who jumped in before she could make up her mind.

"I'm sorry!"

She closed her mouth in confusion, once again choosing to examine her companion's face rather than confronting the uncertainty in her thoughts. Cassian cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry," he repeated more carefully "For leaving you behind this morning. I just didn't want to wake you up. You should spar with me- with us. It really helps get your mind off things."

She considered it for a moment, still unwilling to join in the insanity that the world had presented her with but finally caved, realising that nothing would become clear for a while, not without at least pretending it would.

"Fine." She said, her usual defiant tone back in its entirety. "Fine, let's spar. I need to get back into shape for when we… when I… to be able to beat the Empire, even if it's just by punching them in the face."

She could see Cassian's shoulders sag, but it was unclear whether the sentiment was relief or resignation. She saw Baze's eyes glint and heard Bodhi groan.

"Great, then you two have a go at it while I have a go at officer Rook here. He's been needing a good throw or two for a while now." Baze said.

She was relieved to know that she wouldn't have to deal with the unfamiliar, but a hand-to-hand match with Cassian also intrigued her- she didn't know if he could handle someone like her who had been trained as thoroughly her whole life. He'd proven himself more than capable on Scarif and on Jedha and she felt her lungs contract at the memory of him dodging Krennic's blaster shots but not fast enough, now he's falling, probably dead, but she needs to keep going, finish the mission, don't let yourself grieve, not yet.

Cassian, for his part, seemed about to protest, but then stood up straighter, his face an empty slate and she frowned. She could tell that he was wrestling with some inner discomfort, but she didn't know what it was or how to ask him about it.

"Don't go easy on me." He muttered, when she joined him in the marked area and she could see the sheen of sweat on his skin again. Jyn felt the breath catch in her throat as she counted the infinite scars littering his body. "I deserve every punch. For everything."

0000000

"Captain, an urgent message from Admiral Chandra."

Jim frowned, shooting Spock a concerned look. Nensi Chandra was not usually one to contact the Enterprise, busy as he was dealing with more local bureaucracy within the confines of the Federation's inner circles. They were currently about as far from familiar space as any ship had ever come.

"Put him on-screen."

The holographic image of Chandra's face flickered into view and Jim immediately leaned forward in his chair. He didn't know the man that well- the last time Jim had directly dealt with the admiral had been during his Academy hearing and needless to say, that had not been a pleasant experience for anyone.

"Captain Kirk." The man on the other end of the Galaxy nodded his head politely, but the unease in his countenance was apparent. "There has been an incident in Quadrant 448. The USS Salcombe seems to have disappeared moments after sending out a distress signal."

Kirk paled. The Salcombe had borrowed some of his officers a few weeks back in order to have more hands helping them with the collection of scientific samples. The Captain of the ship, Greta Matulenaite, was a good friend of his, a steadfast and intelligent woman and one of very few he could genuinely enjoy a conversation with at Starfleet. He did a quick calculation in his head- they should be only a couple of hours away from the Enterprise at top warp, assuming everything had gone smoothly until the distress signal.

"Understood." Kirk responded, attempting to keep a level head. "I would ask permission to go in and attempt to assist them, but I get the feeling that's exactly why you'd called."

Admiral Chandra sighed, suddenly looking even older than he'd had previously.

"Yes, that is precisely why I called. You are the nearest ship to their last known location, by quite a margin. It's a controversial decision to send you in alone, but I have faith in you, Kirk." He paused for e moment before looking straight at the Captain's eyes. "My son is on that ship. Please do your best to keep him safe. I know it's not fair to put his life above the others, but if you'll ever have children, I'm sure you'll understand."

"I'll do everything within my power." Kirk said seriously.

"Then good luck, I'm sending you the coordinates now."