The Vortian was right- there were some space anomalies that were worth looking at. Dark matter, gamma ray bursts, black holes- space was a tricky thing. Irkens were one of the most advanced races in the universe, yet not even they knew everything there was to know about space- it was still a great mystery, even to them. But Zim had never really took the time to stop and appreciate it- at least, not until now. Lately he seemed to have developed a fondness for things he never would've looked twice at not too long ago.

"Enjoying the view?"

Great- other than Dib, Lard Nar was the last person he wanted to be bothered by. He chose to ignore him, simply focusing on the stars slowly swirling past them. He could hear Lard Nar's light footsteps as he approached, standing beside him to take in the sight.

"I see outer space every day, yet it never ceases to amaze me," he said, hoping to earn some sort of reaction out of Zim. When he received nothing but silence in response, he cleared his throat. "Ahem, so, how are you adjusting to life on the ship?"

"Wouldn't be the first ship I've lived on." Zim shrugged. "Why do you care?"

"I care about all of my recruits, and I want to make sure you're adjusting properly. Nothing more, nothing less."

When he wasn't under extreme pressure, Lard Nar was always clear, concise, and easy to read. Zim could admire that about the Vortian- not that he'd ever admit it. He wasn't cryptic or cunning- he was open, honest, and told Zim the truth, even if it wasn't what he wanted to hear.

"Zim is fine. You don't have to worry- I won't be a threat to the mission."

Lard Nar nodded- though his pensive expression told Zim that the mission wasn't all he was worried about. "I really meant what I said Zim. I believe in your skill set. I believe in you."

He had never known that feeling, to have someone truly believing in him. It felt… nice; flattering in a strange but not unwelcome way. For someone to put their faith in you... it made Zim feel important in ways he had always tried to felt long ago.

"Although," he thought, "now might be a good time to get some answers out of him."

"Zim has been wondering… you mentioned that the Tallest were figureheads… but once you begin the rebellion, what will you do with them?"

Lard Nar's eyes widened from beneath his goggles. "Why do you ask?"

"…Zim is not saying this out of loyalty. I know how the Tallest feel about me. But I… if you're planning to kill them once you've gotten the information you want-" he stopped himself before he could go on and say something foolish, again. "No. Never mind, it's... ridiculous. Forget I said anything."

"Zim," Lard Nar placed a firm hand on his shoulder. "I understand. I know you're still feeling conflicted about this- it's only natural, what with that device on your back telling you to. Speaking of which, our records on you mentioned the chip that Atra had made… how are you? Did your PAK sustain any long-lasting damage from it?"

"N-No, except…" Zim's expression shifted once, from one of consideration, then again to one of feigned annoyance. "Well, it's not important."

"Anything regarding the health of my soldiers is important. As your captain, I… order you to tell me."

Zim had to fight off an amused smirk. "…My PAK has been making me behave strangely as of late. As a defective, my PAK has always been broken, but I always just thought it was the emotional stabilizer. But lately, it's almost as if my PAK's efficiency is going down. I've been running diagnostic after diagnostic, but the results always come back fine."

"That… doesn't sound good." Lard Nar laughed sheepishly, as if he was unsure of how to react. Zim couldn't blame him. "I would make an appointment to go see Dr. Vythani- he's not an expert on Irken PAK's, but he might be able to run a few tests on your physical body and see if that has anything to do with it."

"Zim will be fine. I don't need his help," he spat. "I'll do some tinkering with it- I can fix it in intervals."

"If you insist. I can't make you go." He heaved a heavy sigh. "Well, I'll go ahead and take my leave. Get some rest Zim, and keep an eye on your PAK."

Zim didn't turn around to watch him as he left, and he breathed a sigh of relief when he heard the door slide closed. Finally, a minute to himself. He'd been craving moments like this for a while now- time to think, time to breathe.

He didn't think the Dib's… feelings would end up infecting his PAK too, but damn it all, he literally couldn't get him out of his head. Something had to be done about this, and fast. If Dib was affecting his PAK somehow, then his life could very well be in danger.

"I need to stop… whatever this is with the Dib-beast."

Killing Dib was obviously out of the question- he'd tried that many times in the past, and it never seemed to work out the way he wanted it to. And now, with his current "feelings" predicament, that wasn't even an option anymore. Perhaps he couldn't kill the Dib physically, but humans, as he had come to find out, were weak to their emotions. Zim, while weaker than most Irkens, was not soft like a human, no matter how much Dib tried to poison him.

"Not everything has to be a fight between us, Zim."

Then why? If this wasn't a fight, surely he wouldn't be tormenting him like this. Dib didn't care about him if this was how he treated him. Making him agonize over every little thing; turning him into a weak, remorseful coward.

"DAMN IT!" Zim slammed his fist into the glass. White hot pain shot through his wrist and traveled up to his fingertips with a throbbing fury, but he was far too invested in his own thoughts to care. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!"

He could scream till his throat was raw, curse Dib's name for eternity, but nothing would make him hate Dib more than he already hated himself, for allowing the almighty Zim to fall so far. He would be the weakling no more. All his life he had been the screw-up, but not this time. He was Zim! No longer could he have the title of invader attached to his name, but that hardly mattered. This was a new Zim, who was loyal to nobody. Not the Empire, not the Tallest, not the Resisty, and certainly not Dib. Turning against the Empire was his choice, and his alone. He wouldn't allow Dib to take credit for that part of his life.

His hands clenched into fists. If caring about Dib was going to feel like this, he would have no part of it.

"Attention, new recruits! Group 1, your training session starts now! Report to the weapons room immediately!"

Zim was somewhat grateful for the interruption. At least now, he'd have something to take his mind off things for a while.

"Rumor has it you managed to dupe the Empire."

Atra jumped at the sudden voice. She turned around from her work and was surprised to find Infera leaning casually against the doorway, a smirk on her lips. She had her arms folded across her chest, her tendrils of hair swaying ever so slightly behind her. She raised one gloved hand up to wave. "Hiya there, Atrana Astralle. Name's Infera."

Atra blinked slowly. "Yes, we've met... can I help you with something?"

Infera laughed dryly, stepping into the room. She grabbed a nearby chair and swung her legs over either side, draping her arms over the top and resting her chin on her wrists. "Mm, maybe? See, I was doin' some diggin'- I'm a pretty good hacker- and your file seems to elude me. I was reading up on the captain's report about you and, well... your existence in general doesn't make sense, let alone how you managed to escape the Empire."

"What were you doing looking through my file?" Atra asked, her eyes narrowing.

"As a lieutenant, I have access to all the files of those who are on this ship. So, how about you put all these rumors to rest and tell me how you did it? You're not in trouble, I'm just... curious, and I've been itching for a good story."

Atra rose from her chair, facing Infera directly. "From what I can tell, you're concerned for the safety of the team. I promise, despite how things look on my file, I never came with any malicious intent."

"Are ya sure about that? Cause according to your file, you used Zim as a cover-up... what would you have done if he hadn't been there? Thrown some other defective Irken on the chopping block just to cover your intentions?"

"Of course not! I.. I never wanted to hurt anybody, I just-"

Infera rolled her eyes. "If the human didn't stand in the way, would you have really spared Zim?"

"I…" Atra looked away, feeling Infera's sharp words cut through her like a knife. That same uncomfortable pull deep in her chest was back again- she was starting to lose herself. She hated that feeling- it always made her head spin, and she'd lose her train of thought. Despite not needing to breathe, she took in a long breath to calm herself- oddly enough, she found that it worked. "...That's none of your concern."

Again Infera ignored her words, pressing on. "I thought the Meekrob believed in strength in numbers. Why did you act on your own? If you were going to stage a coup in disguise, you'd think there'd be tons of other Meekrob there with you."

"Infera-"

She jabbed her thumb back up at herself, pointing it towards her chest as she continued. "What's the matter, are you overwhelmed? I'm asking the questions that Lard Nar should've asked a long time ago. I'm questioning you since no one else will." Infera exhaled slowly. After realizing that she had gotten rather close to the Meekrobian, she breathed in again to collect herself before taking a few steps back. "Alright, uh, geez... you look scared... I uh, I apologize for coming off as aggressive, but I'm just… concerned. Both for you and the safety of the team."

Astonished, Atra nodded slowly, her eyes unblinking and locked onto her, watching her closely as if waiting for her next move. "I… I understand," she choked out. She stepped past her to shut the door. It closed quickly with a small hiss, and before silence could fill the room again, she asked "Why don't you have a seat, and we'll talk this out?"

Dib had successfully completed his first week of training, and he had to admit, it felt pretty good.

It took him a while to adjust to all the different types of alien weaponry. Despite Meosori's intimidating size, he was a surprisingly good instructor. He was gentle and clear when he spoke- Dib felt like he knew exactly what he was doing with Meosori's instructions. If he was being honest, they weren't all that different from Earth firearms.

That's it Dib, steady. Keep your body aligned.

Stop shaking. I know you're nervous, but you need to relax yourself. Treat it like an extension of your body.

This week would be spent practicing with moving targets. For the first time in a while, Dib felt confident about something.

He'd also spent the past week having lunch with Fruo and Dei. Fruo, while he was a bit full of himself, was truly passionate about this mission, about being a soldier. He spent most of the lunch and dinner periods telling stories about his home planet- and both Dib and Dei listened intently. Dei seemed to be rather thrilled with him- and it made Dib wonder if perhaps she had a crush. Did aliens have crushes? Was that possible?

Dei was nice enough. She was shy, inexperienced and fumbled over her words a bit, but she had that same fire that Fruo had, that same desire to fight. Dib admired that about them- he had originally joined because he thought he was doing Atra a favor, but if he was getting to protect Earth in the process, then it definitely made this favor worth it. This place was still rather new to him, but everyone here seemed so close already, like they'd known each other for years. He yearned for that kind of connection with someone. He had sort of been hoping that someone would be Zim, but as of late, he didn't seem interested.

Dib had tried to apologize for their fight multiple times, but every time, Zim would just slam the door in his face or walk away- or make some lame excuse about how he needed to leave. He couldn't understand it- here he was trying to apologize and put shit behind them, but it seemed like Zim just wanted to stay angry. He had tried not to let it distract him, but damn if it didn't make him angry. Why was Zim treating him like a second class citizen all the sudden? Even when they were enemies, Zim never treated him like that, like he wasn't even worth talking to. He always had something to say to him.

He knew Zim had a tendency to be over-dramatic, but not like this. Something else had to be going on, something that Zim wasn't telling him.

"Zim! Open up!"

Where the hell was he? It wasn't like Zim to be late- even at school, he was always punctual, and he took pride in that. He took his education surprisingly seriously.

A few moments later the door slid open and Dib was astonished at the sight that greeted him. The Zim that stood before him couldn't possibly be the Zim he knew. Gone was the red and black resistance uniform that had been given to him, and he instead donned his usual invader's uniform. His antennae hung lazily on either side of his head; his narrowed eyes surrounded by dark circles and faded lines.

Simply put, he looked exhausted.

"You look terrible," Dib blurted. "Are you okay..?"

Ruby eyes darkened before narrowing into dangerous slits, his jaw clenching tightly. "Oh yes, Dib. Zim is doing fantastic, I'm just great! Can you not tell from the sleep deprivation?"

Dib had many questions on his mind at the moment, but the first happened to be about when Zim had learned sarcasm. "Sleep deprivation? Since when do you sleep?"

Zim pointed a clawed finger at his chest. "Exactly! Since you came along Dib, ever since you came and infected Zim with your idiotic human emotions! Zim is tired all the time, I need to eat more, and I have… sensations!"

Dib slowly stepped away from Zim's doorway. "Okay, um, I don't know what you mean by sensations, but… how is any of that my fault? Are you sure you're not sick with something? Look, if you're too sick to go to training today, then I can tell Meosori-"

"Irkens don't get sick you fool! But Zim's… Zim's PAK doesn't do what it's supposed to, so your human germ-feelings must have bypassed my PAK's sensors! Yes… if I fix my PAK, this will all go away… I'll fix my inhibitor, that way this can never happen again!"

Dib eyed him warily, confused as Zim continued to mumble to himself. "Zim, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. But right now, you need to relax. Let's talk about this, okay? I've been trying to talk to you all week, but you just keep blowing me off!"

"Do you really think I want to speak to the person responsible for making me this way?!" he snapped.

Dib roughly pushed past Zim to step into his room, the door quickly sliding closed behind him. "Responsible?! What the fuck Zim, why do you always want to put the blame on other people for your own shit? I've told you this before and I'll tell you again: take some fucking responsibility for once!"

There it was again. That feeling, that bubbling frustration that left his fists trembling, his bottom lip quivering, his eyes stinging. "I refuse to take responsibility for something that's not my fault! I never felt this way before you came along, and I didn't… I didn't ask to be a defective!"

Dib felt his earlier rage dissipating. The tension left his body, leaving him almost limp before the seething alien. "Zim…"

"I didn't ask you to make yourself essential to me… I didn't ask you to become my friend… I didn't ask you to make Zim second guess himself all the time! You, Dib, make Zim question everything he's ever known- my status, my purpose, my so-called values. You make Zim look back on everything he's ever done."

"That's a good thing, Zim," Dib urged, stepping forward, approaching him slowly. "It's okay to recognize your mistakes. That's a good sign. And you shouldn't have to ask for that. Making friends… that comes naturally."

But Zim merely shook his head. "This isn't natural to me! Don't you understand, Dib? This may be normal for you humans, to meet others and befriend them and… and do that disgusting lurve thing but… it's not natural for Irkens… not even defectives." He stepped backwards until he was sitting on his bed, hiding his face with one hand. "Do you even realize what you're doing to Zim, by offering him your stupid human kindness? Just go back to hating me, please. Zim can't take this anymore, Dib, just… just hate me again. Hate me like I hated you."

What could he say to that? How could he respond to Zim basically telling him that his friendship was painful to him? How many years had Zim spent thinking that, being conditioned into believing that emotion was sickness; that developing a connection with another person wasn't natural? For just how many years had Zim been alone?

How long has it been since anyone showed him kindness?

Has anyone shown him kindness, even though every god in the universe knows he doesn't always deserve it?

Dib had no answer to any of those questions. He couldn't even explain why he always came back to Zim, why he liked him so much. So he did the only thing he could think to do in a moment like this. Given the circumstances, it was probably the worst possible thing to do, but Dib never claimed to be the brightest crayon in the box.

He slowly walked over to the bed, sat down beside Zim, and pulled the Irken into his arms. He felt Zim stiffen, but surprisingly, he didn't lash out, and made no move to attack him or fight against the embrace.

Truth be told, Dib felt a little awkward- he wasn't really good at consoling people who were upset. "It's alright. It's okay that you don't understand- this all new to you. But these feelings aren't a curse Zim. And I didn't infect you- these feelings have been in you all along. I may have helped bring them out- but you've always been capable of feeling these things. I could see it sometimes; in your eyes… you would give me this look, every time we fought, like you were giving me an out."

"Z-Zim doesn't want to feel anything if this is what emotions are," he murmured, remaining stiff in Dib's arms.

"Don't think like that. You really… don't want that. Feeling something is always better than feeling nothing. I don't want you to feel that same emptiness I felt. All those years ago, when I gave up being a paranormal investigator? I tried to convince myself I was happy, because my dad was finally fucking proud of me… but the fact is, I wasn't. How could I be, if I wasn't chasing you?"

Zim looked up at him, a small hint of a smirk playing at his lips. "Zim… felt empty too. How could I not, if you weren't chasing me?"

Dib felt a smile of his own threatening to form. Realizing he was still holding onto Zim, he promptly released him, inching away slightly to give him some space. "I'm… sorry about what I said. I didn't realize that you were hurting so much over this."

"...And Zim supposes that he shouldn't have… blamed the Dib… even though it is partly his fault." Zim heaved a long sigh. "What am I going to do, if I can't fix my PAK? I believe… it is treating my emotions like a sickness, and is doing its best to correct them since the emotional inhibitor isn't working. That is why my body is reacting this way."

Dib abruptly stood up. "Then that's not good! We have to tell Lard Nar- if this gets any worse, it could-"

"It could be dangerous. Zim knows. But what do I do? If I fix my PAK, then there is a chance…" he trailed off, unsure of how to say it.

"…That you'll lose your emotions," Dib finished.

Either way, there was a chance of losing Zim. But he couldn't allow Zim to risk his health- his PAK was crucial to him, he needed it to survive. Zim potentially losing his emotions was a chance they would both have to take. "We'll figure it out Zim, okay? You and me, just like it's always been. We'll talk to Lard Nar-"

"No," Zim interrupted, shaking his head. "Not yet, at least. We're in the middle of preparing for the rebellion. So far it's nothing I can't handle. I just means that I'm a little more… vulnerable. But not weak! Zim is still the most dangerous soldier onboard this ship!"

Dib couldn't help but chuckle. Perhaps Zim hadn't lost all of his spirit. "Yeah, right. Okay. But if it gets bad… you'll tell me, right? Or at least the captain?"

"Dib-"

"Promise me."

"…I promise."

"Good. Now come on, training started like ten minutes ago."

"Ugh, those council meetings are so pointless!" Purple shouted with an annoyed huff. "I mean, what do they have to do with anything, really?!"

"It's to keep us in line, to make sure we're not overstepping our boundaries and violating treaty agreements," Red explained, waving a dismissive hand. "Not that the higher-ups really care- but they will, once it's their planet in trouble."

"Mm…" Purple mumbled in acknowledgment, flopping back onto the couch with a relieved sigh. "I'm bored. Do you wanna go blow up a planet or something?"

Red looked as if he was considering the idea, scratching at his chin, before shaking his head. "…Nah, not after we just got out of a council meeting. They're suspicious of us already."

"Are they? Huh. I didn't get that vibe."

"You don't get any vibes, ever. You're always too distracted by donuts or blowing things up to notice," Red snapped.

Purple frowned. He sat up from his spot on the couch, making his way to where Red was across the room. He placed a hand on his shoulder to turn him around. "Hey, what's gotten into you? You usually love donuts and blowing things up. Didn't we talk about this? If something was bothering you, you should've brought it up at the council meeting!"

"If I can't even tell you, how am I supposed to tell a room full of alien leaders?!" Red heaved a long sigh. "Alright, fine, it's just… you were right, when you mentioned the treaties earlier… I think we should start considering abolishing the rest of them."

"All of them? Would the Control Brains allow that?"

"No idea, but we hold enough power to make that happen." Red diverted his attention away from his co-ruler, turning to face the array of stars moving past the Massive. "The fact is, the treaties are making us weaker. The Irken Empire should stand alone."

"But you said it yourself, there are rebellions popping up all over the place- wouldn't it be better to keep what few treaties we have left?"

"We already have agreements with the council members- they're all we need. We just need to keep them happy, at least long enough to kill the rebellions… and a potential coup."

Purple gasped, eyes growing wide. "A coup?!"

Red nodded. "Yes. It's not that uncommon, it's even happened here a few times. Dangerous rebels come together and try to take down their leaders."

Purple shuddered, as if there were a draft in the room. "That sounds awful! So uh… what should we do in the meantime?"

"In the meantime, we wait," Red answered simply. "We keep prepared at all times, and expect the unexpected."

Purple couldn't help but grin teasingly, sliding a hand down the other Irken leader's arm. "Yes commander," he replied suavely. "What's gotten into you lately? This whole "leader, take control" thing is new… although I can't say it's a bad look on you."

The other alien ruler released a shaky breath. "I'm a leader, so I should lead, right? It's not that odd, is it?"

"A bit," Purple admitted, keeping well within his co-worker's personal space. "Never once did I really think we'd actually be doing our jobs, but… here we are."

Red couldn't suppress a chuckle. "It's a good thing. It ensures that we'll be Tallest longer- maybe even for the rest of our lives."

The position of Tallest wasn't always a lifelong job. It was easy for another taller Irken to show up and claim the throne. They could go from having everything, to having nothing. Of course, all previous Tallests (at least, the few that had actually survived), were regarded with the same respect. But it was rare that a Tallest would survive beyond their ruling- at least, Miyuki and Spork didn't. Rogue assassins from other planets often went out of their way to assassinate former Tallests.

Red didn't want that. For himself, for Purple, for this planet. He wanted to be a leader of Irk, and he wanted that until the day he died. He would see to it that that happened.

"The rest of my life, eating donuts and blowing up planets with you- doesn't sound half bad, does it?"

Red mirrored his grin. "No. Not at all." He turned to face the other ruler. "Let's make an agreement, right now. If for some reason, for some crazy, ridiculous reason we ever cease being Tallest, I think… I think we should leave Irk."

Purple's jaw dropped. "Leave?! Why would you ever want to leave?"

He should've figured that Purple wouldn't take too kindly to the idea. "No, I don't want to leave! Ugh, look, that probably won't even happen- but again, this is war, ya know… and we uh… have to be prepared… and stuff. And I… I want to know that you're with me to the end."

Purple nodded. "Of course, I have to be. Our agreement sort of prevents us from going against each other. But… could we really do that? Just… leave? I mean, look at what we have here!"

"It's… a last resort option," he explained. "You know, if the Empire is… in trouble, and our lives as well as our positions are in danger… then I don't want to stick around to see this place burn! Obviously this won't happen, but hypothetically, if it did… would you come with me?"

Purple met his expectant eyes. What could he say, no? 'No, I'd like to stay here where I'm in danger of being captured by the rebels'? Ridiculous. So, naturally, the smartest thing to do would be to follow Red, right?

"…Yes. I'd come with you, I'm not just gonna get caught after all. But… where would we go?" His voice grew in pitch, growing higher with alarm. "If everything falls apart… we won't hold any power. We'd be fugitives! No way, I can't go from being Tallest to being a… a war criminal!"

"Relax!" Red grabbed his wrists to calm him down. "This is just a hypothetical situation, really! I can say with certainty that that won't happen."

"…Then why'd you bring it up?" Purple inquired curiously, his voice uncharacteristically soft.

Red looked away, averting his gaze to the floor. "Just… making sure we have our priorities straight."