A/N: And here we are, the final chapter of this installment of the mothman & spaceboy series! I thank you all so so so very much for your continued support and your kind words!
Just like with the last one, I will be taking a small break from this series- but fear not, the next fic in this series (which may or may not be the last) will definitely be up shortly.
Now then, without further adieu, please enjoy the final chapter of "the pawns"!
"Captain," Atra said gently through the door, "may I come in?"
"Certainly."
She stepped inside, the door sliding shut behind her. The captain's private chambers were almost childlike in a way- decorated with posters and papers of all kinds. She'd never imagined him as the type to be into that sort of thing. It was almost endearing. "I am sorry to disturb you at this hour, I understand that it's terribly late-"
Lard Nar pushed the stack of papers he had sitting in front of him aside. He rose from his desk and smiled brightly, waving off her concerns with a gloved hand. "We're in space, my dear. It's only late because the ship says it is. Besides, my species doesn't require much sleep anyway. So, what can I do for you?"
She wasn't sure how the captain would react to what she was about to say- but Atra realized that she'd already subconsciously made her choice a while ago. This was non-negotiable- something that had to be done no matter what. "It is my understanding that you want to go to Meekrob to reconstruct the chip."
Lard Nar's languid smile immediately dropped, his expression contorting to one of panic. "Er, yes, but- listen, Atra, I understand that this chip is your invention-"
"It is not- my invention, specifically," she corrected. "It was my idea, sure, and I aided with the production. But ultimately it was my devoted team of scientists who put all of their hard work into it." She sighed deeply. "Captain, if… if you truly believe that a device like that could help… then I suppose I cannot fault you for wanting to use it."
"R-Really?" he sputtered in disbelief.
"Yes, really," she affirmed. "Perhaps it was a mistake for me to get rid of the original. For that, I apologize. I only ever thought a device with so much blood on it would end in failure."
"I understand why you would think so," he admitted. Truth be told, he was a bit ashamed himself to be considering using it. "But you must understand, as the captain… I have to make decisions for everyone here sometimes. I hope you can forgive me for this."
She couldn't stand to listen to him pour his heart out to her- he genuinely sounded angry with himself for going against her wishes and proceeding with the production of the chip. Never before had her opinion been treated like it meant something, like it held some sort of value. But now that she had gotten used to it, she never wanted it to stop.
"It is not you who should be asking for forgiveness. It is me… for what I am about to tell you."
"Why? Atra, what's the matter?"
"…I'm heading out, captain. To Meekrob. First thing tomorrow morning."
"Meekrob?!" he exclaimed, eyes widening from beneath his goggles. "But why, we're already on our way there!" he reasoned.
"I understand, but… Meekrob's changed, since you've been there, since I've been there. I don't know if they'll be so keen to help you. So... I'm going to offer them a trade."
"A trade?"
She nodded solidly. "Yes. I'm sure that by now I'm a highly wanted criminal- for disobeying, for getting my comrades killed. I'm sure that if they have me as collateral… they'll happily help you with the chip."
His face hardened, his hands clenching into fists. "Atra, are you absolutely mad?! There's no way I'm letting you go through with this! You hear me?! No way! Just- stay with us, yeah? We will go to Meekrob together, and if they have a problem with you, then they can take it up with me."
Atra bowed her head, preferring to look at her feet rather than in the eyes of her captain. There was still a tiny part of her, even after all of this, that still felt the tiniest bit of shame for suggesting this. Perhaps that was why she had to do this- to finally get rid of what she once was and become something else. Something brand new. She never much liked the old her anyway. "I do not think you understand… I must atone. For my friends. Their blood is on my hands. I've been trying to make up for it by joining the Resistance, and with this… with this final act, I think… just maybe… I can be redeemed."
"They could kill you."
"That's a risk I'll have to take."
"Well it's not a risk I'm willing to take!" Lard Nar argued. "As your captain, I forbid it! I'm ordering you to-"
She merely shook her head. "Sorry, but this is one order I'll have to disobey. I do not know for sure, whether I should trust the paths of fate or go on my own. The dreaded fate vs. free will… it's one of the universe's oldest questions. But there's one thing I do know, and it's that I will only continue to carry the weight of their deaths on my shoulders for the rest of my life- it is my burden to bear, and no one else's. I will not let you or anyone else pay for my mistakes. But perhaps… I can make the burden the slightest bit easier." She suddenly found the courage to look up again, to face him like a soldier. Before, mentioning her fallen comrades only brought her a deep sorrow. Now they seemed to be a source of strength, an endless reserve of untapped energy and passion.
"Please," he begged, "let's talk about this first, okay? We will figure this out. There's no reason for you to throw yourselves at them. You've done more than enough for this team, Atra, I'm begging you." He met her eyes, hoping to find a sign in them that she understood him and would maybe change her mind, but all he found was that same unwavering confidence. She was dead serious about this- no amount of his pitiful pleading would change that.
"This is personal. But even more than that, it'll buy you all some time. I'll have them contact you as soon as they have me in custody."
"You don't know that they won't help us," he whispered weakly.
"But there's a chance, and I can guarantee they'll become more suspicious of you once they discover that I'm with you. We don't have time for that. You need to have the chip remade immediately so we can begin the journey to Irk," she explained.
"…Right then."
"Right." She smiled softly before gently gripping the captain's hand between both of hers. "You are the only one I have entrusted with this secret. If the others ask, tell them I have decided to… go in a different direction."
She couldn't tell through the tinted goggles, but judging by the crack in his voice, she almost thought he was crying. "Yes. Of course."
Atra lightly patted the top of his hand before slowly pulling away, letting her hands slip away from his. "See you around then, captain."
He stood straight, recomposing himself to look more formal as he saluted her.
"See you around."