Soon after the dust settled (Figuratively and literally - dried duck pond mud, we discovered, is attracted to previously pristine surfaces even more than officious aunts to their innocent nephews' businesses), I welcomed my guests and sister to Pemberley. Of course, Bingley and company professed gratefulness at the invitation and great anticipation at the future larks to be engaged in as an intimate party. Naturally, I heard very little of their prattle and instead concentrated on the quickest method of ditching the lot of them. It was regrettable, but I could not rest until I could pop off to the charming little country inn at Lambton, where Jeeves' reliable sources placed Miss Bennet.

We Darcys have considerable powers of ingenuity, but rack the grey matter as I would, I couldn't hit upon a method of accomplishing this without appearing abominably rude. Firmly convinced of the futility of further thought, I laid the problem in its entirety before Jeeves. As per the usual, he offered a suggestion at once.

"It may actually be advantageous to invite a member of your party to accompany you to Lambton, sir. If I were in your position, I should choose a moment when solely Miss Georgiana is available," he mused, straightening some waistcoats and whatnot in the wardrobe.

"Is that so, Jeeves? Why Georgiana?" I asked listlessly.

"You requested to be allowed to present her to Miss Bennet yesterday as you were walking the grounds."

"Did I?" I had no recollection of such a conversation. Though, looking back on the whole affair, I hardly knew what was said at all. I believed I may have spoken at some length about the quality of fishing in the area. I hoped I had not bored her.

"Yes, sir. And as she expressed such keen interest in the meeting, it would be well to fulfill your promise as soon as possible."

"In that case, I suppose the inclusion of the dear sib should do no harm. The trick then is how to buttonhole her without alerting the rest of the attending train." I tapped the upper lip while thrusting forward the lower.

"If I might suggest it, you might wish to leave at once. Mr and Mrs Hurst as well as Miss Bingley have retired to their rooms after tea, and if you set out within the quarter of the hour, you should arrive before Miss Bennet and her aunt and uncle leave to dine with another family in Lambton."

"Right ho. I'm as braced as I ever shall be, so all that's left is to collect the sister and miss the Bingley." I received a proffered hat and walking stick, which I could not help but notice complemented the day's outfit most exquisitely – Jeeves always was particular about that sort of thing – when a passing thought struck me. "Jeeves," I asked, "How do you know what times Miss Bennet and company are to attend dinner parties?"

Jeeves coughed politely upon my doubt at the reach of his information. "My niece is in service at the inn where they reside, and is assigned to wait on their rooms, sir. They sometimes speak of their plans in her presence and ask for her recommendations as a native of the town."

"Oh, that one, eh? The sister to that young whatsit, an undergardener about the place?"

"His Christian name is not 'whatsit', sir, however well the appellation may suit him. Nevertheless, that is indeed the niece to whom I refer. I am sorry sir, but I must remind you that if you wish to arrive at Lambton in time, you should make haste - "

"Oh, you have a niece hereabouts, Jeeves? I say, that must be nice! I haven't a niece at all! Neither have you, Darcy!" With a slap on the back and smile on his lips, that clueless fellow Bingley bumbled in. "And what's all this, then? Are you planning an excursion to Lambton?"

With a panicked glance at Jeeves, I hastened to throw Bingley off the scent. "Oh, hardly, old thing. I was just about to toddle off with the dear sibling to pay a call there. Common courtesy, you know."

"Oh, really? And to whom, pray tell?"

I shied away from Bingley's angelic smile and threw another look to Jeeves, who merely avoided my gaze and pursed the lips. We were in consensus then: the jig was up. "Miss Elizabeth Bennet," I mumbled, thoroughly defeated.

Rapture turned up the brilliance a few notches on the poor bounder's face, forcing me to turn my head away with a grimace. "Miss Elizabeth Bennet, you say! Why, what a coincidence! Whatever could she be doing here?" Bingley leaned forward like a dog for a bone with lots of the good bits still on.

"Apparently, she is touring Derbyshire with her aunt and uncle. Or so she told me," I informed him.

"Ah, you have already spoken with her during her visit, then?" Bingley surmised.

"Well, yes. We happened to run into each other," I admitted.

"When you were passing through Lambton on your way here from London?"

"Er, no, not quite."

"Where, then?"

I coughed into my hand nervously. "At the duck pond, actually."

"Oh." A small cloud of confusion passed over the fellow's countenance, but just as swiftly, it disappeared as if only imagined. "I didn't know you had a duck pond, Darcy!"

"I do," I answered him honestly.

"Oh," he reiterated. A sudden thought struck him. "I say, Darcy! Why don't I come with you and Georgiana to pay my respects to Miss Bennet?"

I threw in a last meager effort to salvage my plans, though I knew in my heart of hearts that it would be for naught. "There is no need to trouble yourself, Bingley. We can carry your wishes for you, and the visit is on such short notice that Miss Bennet will not feel slighted."

"Nonsense! It would be no trouble at all to accompany you! I would not hear of staying behind! Just let me fetch my hat." So saying, the blighter finally removed his presence from my personal rooms.

"Jeeves," I began. But I could not find the words to end, so I simply stood there, looking helpless.

"Indeed sir. However, I should not be too concerned about the inclusion of Mr Bingley to the party. It may be of some small comfort to consider the alternative of his sister." Jeeves left me with the image as he moved on to adjust the hanging of various dress shirts.

I only groaned at him as I departed to collect my own sister.