Hello, and Welcome to Chapter Two:

Why Am I Still Alive?

I assure you, there will be parody elements very soon. You just have to wait for it. Like most good things in life. You'll see. Hopefully. If you read it. I hope you will read it. It took me several hours. Like, six of 'em. You should be grateful. Writing is hard.

Disclaimer: I do not own PJO.

Last time...

"Get up, boy. Our Lady and the elder sisters will speak to you now."

Perfect, I thought. Just what I wanted.

Now...

"Uhh, right. Okay." I stuttered, trying my hardest not to offend the woman. However, I found myself intrigued by what little I remembered from while I was unconscious. I didn't know about what they had called me on the news. I had left as soon as the monsters were dead. I had only done my job as a soldier. Most monsters were relatively easy to kill, anyways, if you're not afraid of them. Only hydras were a real nuisance, because if you didn't have fire, they were very annoying to kill. Hard, but not impossible. Instead of worrying about the heads, it's easiest to cut off all its legs, and then stab it through the heart from behind. Most monsters had a weak point like that. The Nemean lion, for example, is actually fairly simple to kill. As soon as it opens its mouth to bite you, stab it through the brain via the roof of its mouth. It's certainly dangerous, but if trained properly, anyone can do it. After thousands of years of fighting monsters, it gets easier and easier, and you figure out new ways of doing it. I'm really, really not all that special. I just have a lot of experience.

At any rate, I slung my legs over the side of the bed, and found that, aside from a sharp pain, my muscles were perfectly usable. After thousands of years, you get used to ignoring pain. It is, after all, just a signal to your brain that the nerves are being heavily stimulated. There's no real reason it should have to be painful, really. But, enough of my theories.

I got out of the bed, and shakily stood on two legs. I suddenly realized my weapons were nowhere to be found. I doubted I'd ever see them again. Luckily my sword belt still held up what was left of my pants.

"Come on, we don't have all day, you know," the woman said, impatiently.

"Alright, I'm sorry, Miss... um, what should I call you?" I inquired.

"Don't call me anything. You don't need to speak to me. I'd prefer it if you only spoke when spoken to, boy," she fired back.

"Understood," I said, trying to avoid the beautiful woman's wrath.

I followed fer out of the tent, ignoring the pain that shot through my legs whenever I took a step. Outside the tent was the camp I had briefly seen when I ran through it the first time. There were fifteen or so tents, but I still wasn't sure of the number of members in the Hunt after the war. Before the war, I believe they were around thirty five strong, if what the reports said were true. Unless they slept three to a tent, or there were no tents for supplies or anything, they must have taken a huge blow. I felt sorry for them, losing so much of their family at once. I had never had a family, myself, but I had always wanted one. I could imagine how it would feel if I had finally gotten one, and then it was ripped away from me. I doubt I'd have any patience for the people I hated. I really sympathized with the women of the Hunt. But, it wasn't the time for sympathy. I had to follow the bossy woman to 'the elder sisters,' or whatever their lawmaking body was. If I wasn't careful to be as unassuming as possible, I wouldn't make it out alive.

The woman took me to a tent slightly larger than the rest and, once inside, it seemed to be dimensionally transcendental, which is to say, it was bigger on the inside. I was used to such enchantments, so it didn't especially surprise me. What did surprise me was the fact that the so called 'elder sisters' were in fact three women and Artemis sitting at a plastic folding table. Once the woman escorting me took her seat, it was four women and Artemis, two women sat on either side of the goddess.

Artemis spoke first.

"So, boy. It seems you are not a traitor. Just to be sure, would you mind swearing an oath on the Styx?" she said, almost too politely.

"I am not, and never have been a traitor to Olympus in any way. This I swear upon the river Styx," I said solemnly. Thunder cracked, accepting my words as truth.

"Well, now that that is out of the way, Nathan Grey, explain what it is you're doing here," Artemis said, in the same polite tone. It was starting to freak me out.

"Well, your Ladyship, I was returning to Olympus to see if I could regain my immortality after the war was over, when I smashed into an invisible wall of force and blacked out. When I came to, the wall was pushing me back the way I came, so I ran the direction it was forcing me, only to run directly through this camp, and then smash into another wall. I tried to find where the boundary ended in order to leave, only to eventually find that I was running in circles. It is my belief that this invisible wall exist for me alone, one mile from the nearest hunter to me. I swear all this is true upon the river Styx. The rest you have been informed of, I presume." I spoke as calmly as possible, although my legs were still causing me much pain.

"I see. Boy, have you angered anyone recently? We need to get to the bottom of this, you see. Perhaps you've done something to offend Aphrodite?" Artemis asked, again in the creepily polite tone.

"Your Ladyship, I remember doing nothing of the like. This I-"

"We get it boy. No need to make Styx upset with all these oaths," the woman on the far right said. She had fiery red hair, and, like all the Huntresses so far, was exceedingly beautiful.

Artemis spoke again. "Well, before we continue, we're going to make sure all our bases are covered. We need you to attempt to escape vertically."

"Vertically?" I asked.

"Yes. We'd like you to climb a tree, and attempt to jump over the barrier, if possible. It may be however, that the wall is spherical in nature, extending horizontally over you as well."

It was at this moment that my brain decided to truly look at Artemis. She looked about 18, the same as almost every Huntress I'd seen. She had auburn hair and silver eyes, very shocking to the senses. She had a delicate sort of face, but her expression showed her age and wisdom somehow. The look in her eyes showed her true strength. It was a surreal experience, when my eye caught hers. It was only for a second, but there was so much emotion packed into it that I forgot to speak for a moment. It wasn't that I suddenly had feelings for her or anything. I didn't feel anything romantic towards her, or any Huntress. It wouldn't make much sense. I respected the ones I'd met so far, to a certain point, just for doing what they believe is right, but I couldn't say I really wanted any of them as a partner, especially not the maiden goddess herself. I just gained a sort of extra respect for her that I hadn't had before.

Eventually I realized I had stared just a second too long at Artemis, which was a huge mistake. I knew that the women would think I had something perverted in mind, when I really didn't, and it would just make my life that much harder.

"Right, I'll go do that. I swear on the Styx I will do everything in my power to escape from here. Since the wall won't appear unless I'm a mile a way from you, you'd have no Idea if I really tried or not. Sorry I keep swearing oaths. I didn't see a way around it." I saw some of the elder sisters rolling their eyes at me, which I didn't really mind. At least they weren't trying to kill me.

"Wait. Before you go, I have one last question. Do you want to be here?" This time it was the cruel woman from earlier. She sat on Artemis's immediate right.

The question startled me a small bit, but I answered immediately. "Absolutely not. I swear upon the-"

"I believe you. Go now," the cruel woman interrupted me.

I turned on my heel and left the tent. As I left the encampment, I didn't see a single Huntress, but when you've lived as long as I have, you know when you're being watched. I was certain that every set of eyes in the camp was on me. I felt sorry for the deer in this forest.

I made my way back to where the first Huntress found me, and saw two trails of dried blood. At the sight of them, my legs started aching once again. It was going to be tough climbing the tree.

But, I made an oath on the Styx. As a mortal, the consequences for breaking it could be death or worse.

I quickly found the edge of the barrier, and found a tree that it bisected. I started the slow climb up the tree, slipping every once and a while. Half an hour and several scrapes and bruises later, I reached the top of the tree. And, unsurprisingly, the wall was still there, thirty feet up. I tried my hardest to jump, but I didn't make it very high with my legs so beaut up. I focused my mind solely on jumping, and managed a fairly good jump. Unfortunately, I hit a bit of trouble on the way back down. As I tried to land the jump, my foot slipped, and I crashed all the way down the tree. When I finally reached the bottom, I estimated that I had broken my right shin.

I sat on the ground, moaning for a while. My leg wounds had been reopened, and now my leg was broken too. It wasn't ideal, but I should be able to crawl back to the camp. I didn't really want to be seen in such a state, but what choice did I have? I started crawling back.

Progress was slow. It probably took me about three hours or so to get back. I made it to the edge of camp, but I was about to pass out. I barely made it there to begin with. No one was in sight, but I knew there were Huntresses watching me. I turned to a nearby tree that I could tell one was hiding in.

"Tell Artemis... Lady Artemis... that I'm trapped. There's... no way out... I apologize."

With that, I blacked out once again.

I came to in the familiar place that I was beginning to think was the infirmary tent. I looked around for ambrosia, but there was none. I supposed I'd have to 'earn' it, or something ridiculous. I had a feeling whatever it was wouldn't be good for me.

I noticed someone coming in, and found it was the first woman who I saw last time I was here. I was surprised she wasn't on the council or whatever. She seemed mature enough. I hadn't noticed while I was there because I was too focused on not getting killed.

"I bet you're wondering why there's no ambrosia this time," she said, not necessarily kindly.

I'm sure I looked surprised, and perhaps frightened, because she continued, "Don't look so perturbed. There's a good reason. We have a proposition for you. But, I'm just the doctor around here. I won't be the one conversing with you. That honor goes to Zoe. I believe you've met?"

Just then, the tent flap opened, and the so-called 'cruel woman' stepped in.

"I am the Lieutenant of the Huntresses, Zoe Nightshade. We have been testing you since you ended up here. Don't even think of interrupting me," she told me, before I had a chance to speak.

The doctor stepped out of the room. Apparently this conversation was some sort of secret.

"You are Nathan Grey, war hero, and, for the time being, a mortal. I'm sure you're aware that being mortal grants you certain... advantages. I'm sure you also know that Olympus is a place full of treachery and court intrigue. Normally, our Lady Artemis would stay out of such dirty games, but in this case, it involves her directly. You are the embodiment of a type of wind that can carry a group of men off their feet in an instant. So, as a mortal fighter, you are very strong. For a boy, anyways. Being such a strong mortal fighter, there are many on Olympus who would seek to use you. In particular, we have word that Aphrodite had plans to use you for... unsavory purposes. As such, we wish to keep you from Olympus at all costs. However, if you never arrived in Olympus at all, there would be much confusion, and people would come searching for you. So, to keep you out of Aphrodite's clutches, but still seem ordinary, the elder sisters offer you this: swear fealty to Artemis, and we will heal you. Naturally you will have our full support in getting you out of here. But, what this would mean is-"

"I have to do exactly what the Huntresses say for as long as I live. And if I don't swear fealty, you'll make my life a living hell while my leg heals. I get it. Clever." I made my tone as light and friendly as possible. I don't know why, but something about this girl, Zoe, made me want to do whatever she said. She was incredibly beautiful, with coppery skin and pitch black hair. She seemed intelligent, and... it wouldn't serve me well to dwell on this girl. I quickly decided that fealty to Artemis was nothing compared to the hell that the Huntresses could dish out while I was here.

"Show me to Artemis. I'll swear fealty right now. I have no master, and I'd rather have it be Artemis than some unknown god or goddess. Although, isn't this highly irregular? To have a male servant?"

Zoe quickly silenced me. "It's not although you'll be a part of the hunt. You will camp at the edge of the barrier, and you will be informed of our movements a few hours before we travel. Understood?"

"Yes." This was happening rather quickly. I somewhat liked the quick pace. I wondered if the rest of my time here would be like. "But I do have a question."

"What is it, boy?"

"Once I arrive in Olympus, what will be expected of me?"

"You will turn down every offer of work except for the maiden goddesses. However, you will inform us of any offers via Iris message. You will never do something that harms Artemis without our Lady's express permission. Understood?"

"Understood. I have a minor request. Might I have some sort of hunting weapon for food, and my canteen for water?"

Zoe gave me a look that meant she would enjoy my difficulty immensely. This couldn't be good.

"We've prepared a tent for you, with some items of use inside. You will not die, if you are skilled enough. Come with me."

I looked at her dumbfounded. "Lieutenant, my leg is still-"

"I know," she said simply.

With a severe limp and no small amount of groaning, I eventually made it inside the tent I was in before. This time, it was just Artemis. She looked straight at me with an expectant look.

Wasting no time, I rested my weight on my knee on my good leg, in a strange sort of bow. I had heard oaths of fealty before, and launched into my own.

"I hereby swear myself to the service of Artemis, and her Hunt. I will live to serve her in any way I can. I will not intentionally hurt her or any of her followers, and I will help them and protect them as they were my own flesh and blood. This I swear upon the river Styx."

Artemis nodded, acknowledging the validity of my oath.

A huge boom of thunder cascaded overhead, many times larger than an ordinary oath. I had just sworn my life away. Who knows? It could be fun.

Before I left the camp, I ate a square of ambrosia, and I felt my leg healing. Zoe had told me that no one outside of the elder sisters knew about my oath of fealty, and that I should still expect harsh treatment. I didn't think I'd be getting any better treatment anyways though, so it didn't bother me much. I did however realize that if I was attacked, I would have to be very careful with how I defended myself.

After I set up my tent on the edge of the barrier, I got to find out what I had been left to survive with. The list was as follows:

1 one gallon canteen (filled)

1 6 inch throwing dagger

And that was it. No sleeping bag, no bandages, no blankets, no swords, nothing. One dagger. One canteen. This was sure to be a lot of fun. I knew I still had to rest my leg, so I sat up against a tree, and tried my hand with the throwing dagger. I had had training with them many years ago, and I prayed I still remembered the basics. I hurled it at a tree fifteen meters or so away, around fifty feet, that I thought was dead, and the dagger sunk into the tree past th end of the blade.

I sighed. It would be a pain to get it out of the tree. At least I'd be able to hunt, later. I drifted off into an uncomfortable, dreamless sleep.

I was woken up by the sound of a small child clumsily trudging towards me. I could tell by the sound of the leaves beneath her feet. I had no idea the hunt harbored one this young. She was probably only 6 or 7. Suddenly, the noises stopped. I could feel her looking at me from behind the tree I'd thrown the knife at earlier without even opening my eyes. I let the girl think I was asleep for a few more minutes, to see if she'd leave. I had no qualms, but if the others found out she was here, I'd have a hard time explaining it.

Finally, I realized she wasn't leaving without me telling her to. I said in the gentlest tone I could muster, with my eyes still closed, "Go back to the camp, young one."

I heard her tiny gasp, and I heard what I thought was her hiding behind the tree.

"I'm sure your big sisters are worried about you. Go back to them," I said, still gentle.

I heard a tiny noise that indicated discontentment. I didn't want her to leave upset, and on top of that if she did I'd look bad.

"What's wrong, little one? You can come out from behind that tree. I'm unarmed. Take a look at the tree from the other side."

I heard her walk around it., and a little gasp.

"That was my only weapon. My leg is still broken, so I can't hurt you. Okay? Just tell me what's wrong."

At this, I opened my eyes. It was a little Asian girl, probably only 6 years old. I worried why she'd be in the hunt this young. Something awful must have happened. My heart softened even more.

She said, in a voice I remembered from when I was semi-conscious the other day, "You don't seem like a big meanie."

I chuckled softly. "Well that's probably because I'm not a meanie. You don't have to be afraid. You can come closer, if you want."

She moved about ten feet closer, still thirty feet away. "Everybody said you were a big meanie. I wanted to see if it was true."

"Well, your big sisters don't like men very much at all. Most guys really are big meanies. It's a lot easier just to believe all guys are meanies than have to decide which are and which aren't, especially when so many are."

"So you're not?" This girl was seriously cute. I decided that I wouldn't let this girl get hurt above all the other huntresses I swore I'd protect.

"No, I'm not. But don't tell your sisters I told you. They'll get mad at me."

"How come? If you're not a meanie, then why would they get mad at you for saying you aren't?" This girl seriously liked to say meanie.

"Well, if a big meanie said he wasn't a meanie, he'd be lying, right? And people get mad when meanies lie about stuff."

"Oh. Well, I don't think you're a meanie."

"Thank you, young one."

"My name is Ayano, not young one!" she pouted.

"I'm sorry, little one. I mean, Ayano." I chuckled a bit. "Run along, Ayano. Get back to your sisters, before they get too worried."

"Okay, Mr. ... uh, what's your name again mister?"

"I'm called Nate. Nice to meet you Ayano."

Before I realized it, the girl had run up to me, hugged me, and run off. She seemed awfully trusting for a huntress, even a child Huntress. To say I was worried about her was an understatement.

"Bye bye Mr. Nate!"

That was certainly the first time I'd heard that one. I wasn't sure I liked it, but this little girl was cute enough that it didn't matter what she said.

I drifted back to sleep before I knew it, but little did I know that when I woke up, I'd be in a heap of trouble.

I woke up when they were the same distance as Ayano had been. While each one was stealthier, there were six in all, so they made about the same amount of noise altogether as Ayano by herself. They clearly thought they were much stealthier than they thought, since they just kept moving forward stealthily, each one passing the tree with my only weapon. No, that was wrong. One stayed back. I realized this fight would be incredibly difficult if they ganged up on me. Huntresses weren't known for hand to hand combat, but five against one with no weapon were absolutely terrible odds. On top of that, I couldn't hurt them at all. Luckily, I knew a few tricks. I wasn't sure if they'd work in such a situation, though.

A voice I didn't recognize started shouting.

"How dare you poison the mind of a child! You're twisted. We won't allow this!. Wake up, boy!" she had an unpleasant tone, but not an unpleasant voice.

I opened my eyes to the sight of five women dual wielding hunting knives. Yep, I was in trouble, if I couldn't think of a way to even the odds.

"Stand up and prepare to fight us. Or are you a coward, too?"

I was starting to dislike this woman. Still, she thought she was justified, and I could see it in a way. I made an oath, and I would never break it. Perhaps I could treat it as an instructional match? Hmmm. Suddenly it dawned on me.

I stood, and spoke clearly, "Surely you would not fight an unarmed, inferior man five to one? Please, let us fight in duels. I implore you. Your skill against mine."

I knew her honor couldn't look my statements by.

"Fine. First will be Helga. Prepare for a thrashing, boy."

One of the five stepped forward, and the leader shouted, "Begin!"

My opponent was roughly five foot eight, and wore no armor. I noted the length of her blade, before she came at me with a vengeance.

Her first strike was with her main hand, and was a thrust straight to the abdomen. I noted this and pushed out my off hand and guided her arm so that it barely missed me. Her follow up was a cut across under her wayward first strike, so I merely backed up enough that she didn't hit me, making sure to keep my weight on my good leg.

She seemed stunned for a second, but continued her assault. She decided to go with a dual overhand chop, an odd choice with her weapons, and I easily guided her strikes with my hands down to my sides. She attempted to kick me, but I stepped back enough to avoid it, again careful of my mending shin. At this point, she was frustrated.

She attempted to charge me with both daggers, so I made a large side step and pulled her arms in the direction she was charging, and overextending, she lost her balance and fell to the ground. She was gutting up, which fury in her eyes, when the leader of the group said, "Enough, Helga. It's clear that you have no chance. He is highly skilled in hand to hand combat. Let me take this clown."

It was obvious that Helga was fuming, but she had enough respect for her sister that she stood down. It must have been that Helga was the second strongest, as the other three hadn't participated at all before the fight with their leader.

I spoke up before the leader had a chance to start fighting.

"I never caught your name, you know. I'd like to know the name of my opponent."

"My name is Phoebe. And I'm going to put you in your place, boy."

I didn't want to be any ruder than I had been, so I said nothing.

That was when Phoebe threw her hunting knife straight at my head.

I'm not exactly certain how, but I caught it in my hand without so much as a scratch.

I swear I wasn't trying to be sarcastic when I said it, but I told her, "I believe I have something that belongs to you." Even I was amazed I had caught the knife.

Unfortunately, I did not catch the arrow speeding towards my stomach. I managed to move just enough that it wasn't in a vital spot, but it hurt like hell, and it probably looked like I was dead, as I slumped to my knees and fell backwards. I wasn't aware of anything.

"Aaaaah!" I screamed.

From far away, I heard "Mr. Nate!"

It must have been Ayano.

"Mr. Nate! Mr. Nate!" Her cries were getting louder. I wasn't sure what the five-no, six-were doing.

I felt Ayano's presence near me, as I lay bleeding on the ground.

"Mr. Nate! I'm so sorry! I told them you weren't a big meanie even though you told me not to! And now you're gonna die and it's all my fault!"

I had to correct her. If I didn't tell her she was wrong, she'd be unhappy. I knew I wasn't going to die, but I was going to lose consciousness in a matter of moments. The black was closing in around my vision already.

"It's not your fault, young one. It's... my fault... for provoking them. And I'm not... going to die. I'm just... going to go... to sleep... for a little while. Remember that it... isn't your fault, okay? It's not your fault. And... get off of me already. You'll get your clothes dirty."

With that, as I heard Ayano's sniffles on my chest, I blacked out, for what seemed like the hundredth time.

Well, how do you like your semi-unreliable narrator? Isn't he a gem? He doesn't know how to quantify his power, so you'll always be guessing. And who is Ayano? Is she important? No, of course not. It's a Guardian parody, no one is important. Well, it'll be a guardian parody soon enough anyways. The next chapter will be the last chapter before we get into the zany parody stuff. This exposition is unfortunately necessary. Luckily, it's in the form of an actually ok guardian story(I hope).

Remember to review and tell me how you think I did, and favorite or follow it if you want to know when I realease updates. I noticed some mistakes in the first chapter, basic syntax and things, so I'm re releasing the first chapter as well. Well, sayonara!