"You want me to do WHAT?!"

"Shoot me in the face," Amethyst repeats, as if it's the obvious thing to do.

"But why?!" Steven asks, concerned, "are you okay? Do you have something you need to talk about?"

"No, no, I'm fine. This is just another experiment, bro. To see if it's a one-shot poof."

"But is it really necessary to test it on you?" Peridot questions.

"Would you rather wait 'till you're face to face with someone who's not quite so friendly? Come on, I won't be gone for more than a minute, I can reform just like that." She snaps her fingers to emphasise her point. This is enough to convince Peridot, but the other two still aren't sure.

"Won't Pearl and Garnet notice if you reform?" Connie points out, "I don't think they'd be too happy about it."

"I can come back exactly the same. They won't suspect a thing."

Steven and Connie share concerned looks. This seems like a terrible idea.

"We'll take a vote," Peridot decides, "all in favour, raise your hands."

She and Amethyst raise their hands, whereas Steven and Connie keep them firmly by their sides. A draw. After a moment Peridot clears her throat.

"Can I just point out that Lapis would have voted in favour?"

Steven sighs.

"Yeah, she would have."

"I'm serious! Get down from there! You're going to aggravate your injury!"

Lapis puts one hand to her mouth to make another fart noise while jiggling the handle with the other. It doesn't help that moving her right arm too much makes the bullet hole twinge. Deciding to try a different strategy, she turns and walks back along the wooden beam.

"Alright, here goes nothing," she mutters to herself, turning to face the windows. It's a hairbrained plan, but she doesn't have many options at this point. She just hopes that the glass isn't too thick.

"What did you say?"

"Here goes nothing!"

Ignoring Pearl's confusion, she breaks into a run, quickly reaching the other end of the rafter and leaping off with a powerful wingbeat.

Pearl winces at the loud thud from above her, then looks up to see a frenzy of wildly flapping wings as a rather disoriented Lapis struggles to clamber back onto the rafter. She can't help letting out a snort of amusement at the bewildered look on her face.

"What're you laughing at?" Lapis asks, finally managing to climb up and sit on the beam.

"You looked like a bird that doesn't know what glass is."

Lapis rests her head on her left hand and her elbow on her knee, her usual apathetic demeanor returning.

"Bit rich coming from you," she comments.

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

Lapis raises one eyebrow. "Don't tell me no one's ever pointed it out."

"What are you talking about?"

"Your nose, Pearl. It looks like a beak."

Pearl blushes furiously at the comparison, but refuses to lose her composure.

"At least I don't break lighting fixtures with my huge wings that I insist on using indoors, despite the fact that we have a perfectly functional set of stairs!" She retorts. Lapis lifts her head from her hand.

"Yeah, but you do squawk on for hours about the bloody light fixtures."

"Excuse me, I do not squawk!"

"Yeah, you really do. "

Pearl narrows her eyes at the gem perched above her.

"Why don't you come down here and say that to my face?"

"Won't make it any less true!"

Pearl purses her lips. She didn't want it to come to this again, especially not while Lapis' arm is injured, but the disobedient gem leaves her no choice.

"That's it, I'm getting the broom!" she announces, turning on her heel and walking over to the cupboard under the stairs. Lapis grits her teeth. She really hates that broom.

"Alright, I'm ready!" Amethyst says. A few metres away, Peridot draws her gun. Steven and Connie watch from a safe distance as the first shot sails over Amethyst's head and embeds itself in a nearby tree.

"Bit lower, Peri!"

Three more bullets thud into the bark. It's not that Peridot doesn't want to go through with the experiment, it just doesn't feel right shooting at one of her best friends.

"I think my emotional attachment to you is causing me to subconsciously throw off my aim!" She explains.

"Aww," Steven says quietly.

Amethyst thinks for a moment. If Peridot is missing because she likes her too much, then Amethyst will just need to give her a reason to hate her. She cups her hands around her mouth.

"CAMP PINING HEARTS IS THE WORST TV SHOW EVER!" She yells.

Steven and Connie wince as a single, precise shot explodes from the pistol and knocks Amethyst off her feet. Peridot slowly lowers her weapon.

"Bullseye," she says as she, Steven and Connie look down at the purple gemstone lying in the grass. No one insults CPH and gets away with it.