AN: Hey guys. This is not a real chapter, but I just wanted to come up with some cool zombie descriptions for the three basic "Gold Rush" zombies (since that's what PopCap decided to do with their own zombies in each time period of PVZ2). So are my hand-crafted descriptions (Sorry again for procrastinating. I just enjoy doing other things more than typing this story, but is nonetheless fun to tell).
Gold miner zombie
Toughness: Average
Walk Speed: Average
Zombie Description: A zombie who wears partly blue jeans, showing pale, green skin underneath; a tan sweatshirt (also with holes in it); a black, faded leather cap; and brown hiking boots.
Special Fact: The pickaxe the zombie holds in one hand is actually not used by the zombie, at all. Could it be that the zombie is afraid of a mine collapse? Or is carrying too much weight already? Or perhaps doesn't want it's undead hands to get dirty? Nope. The truth is that the zombie is simply a miner (a teenage zombie) who just loves gold. And brains.
Conehead gold miner
Toughness: Protected
Walk Speed: Average
Zombie Description: It wears the same equipment as the gold miner zombie, but this zombie strapped a canteen on its head instead of simply wearing a leather cap, allowing the zombie to absorb twice as much damage as the gold miner zombie.
Special Fact: Working out in the mines is a tough job (though zombies don't even sweat). Thankfully, this zombie is all set for when breaktime comes along thanks to the water-filled canteen on its head. However, this zombie is often surprised of the negative reviews on the water it shares with its friends, the most common being "the water tastes crappy." Truly, dysentery (a disease that makes you have to poop a lot) is a gift (as well as sarcasm).
Buckethead gold miner
Toughness: Hardened
Walk Speed: Average
Zombie description: It wears the same equipment as the gold miner zombie, but this zombie is wearing a sieve instead of a leather cap, allowing the zombie to absorb three times as much damage as the gold miner zombie.
Special Commercial: Tired of having a boring, old hat? Do you wish to be cool and popular? Are you tired of me asking these questions, and want me to get to the point already? Then buy a sieve! Sieves make great headwear, and are totally in style. Don't wait, call now at xxx-xxx-xxxx! No prices for shipping and handling, except a hoard of zombies on your doorstep. Sieves start at the low, low price of your brain (and possibly other peoples' brains, as well)!
AN: I promise next chapter I will continue the story arch. I just wanted to give these zombies some descriptions, and to possibly crack a few jokes during the process (I'm no comedian, so sorry if you didn't laugh at the special facts/commercial). The zombies mentioned above are intended to both MALE and FEMALE zombies (and, of course, Gender Sexual Alliance terms). Please review, and thanks to anyone who does! I'm going to reply to as many of you as I can.