Author's note: I am English. I know next to nothing about gun laws or how the police operate in America. I barely know how they operate in England. I'm just going to write what I think works and is (hopefully) funny.

"Peri's been gone for a while now," Connie points out, a little worried.

"I don't think she's gone to a shop on her own before," Steven says.

"I'm sure she's fine," Amethyst tries to reassure them, despite being a bit concerned herself.

However, their attention is soon drawn away from Peridot as Lapis lands in their midst.

"Hey, sorry I took so long," she says, retracting her wings, "Pearl was being a real pain."

"Did she use the broom again?" Amethyst asks.

"Yeah, right in the back of the knees… Hey, where's 'Dot?"

"Oh, she went to get doughnuts," Steven explains, "she's been gone for kind of a while though."

"Alright. One of you gave her some cash, right?"

Steven eyes go very wide.

"I thought she had some!" he exclaims, "she had some yesterday, she was trading all her notes for coins with me!"

"Yeah, so she could hang them from the ceiling with a bunch of cutlery as a meepmorp about learning to use her powers. She doesn't understand money yet!"

"I thought she just prefered metal currency because of her powers!" Steven says, panicked.

"Everyone was accusing me of eating that cutlery," Amethyst mutters.

"So none of you gave her money?!" Lapis asks, putting a hand to her head, "she's going to end up shoplifting without even realising it! Oh stars, and she's got a bloody gun!"

Connie gets to her feet, looking very worried.

"I think we should go look for her," she suggests.

"You think?!" Lapis retorts.

Peridot, who has been waiting at the doughnut shop to find out what a 'police' is, is rather disappointed to discover that it's just a variety of human.

"Alright kid, put the gun down," the man says.

The gem is rather taken aback, both by being called a child and being ordered to give up her weapon by a total stranger.

"Firstly, I'm not a 'kid', and secondly, I can just dissipate this."

The policeman is surprised, to say the least, as the pistol disappears in a flash of white light, but as far as he knows she's still armed.

"I said put it down. No funny business."

"Funny business? What are you talking about? Why are you demanding that I give up my gun?" she asks, confused and a little angry.

"Because we don't want anyone to get hurt."

"No one will get hurt, I've been practicing all day," Peridot says confidently. However, this doesn't seem to reassure him. In fact it has the opposite effect.

"Please, just put it down."

Eventually she gives in, but only because she knows she can dissipate it if this stranger tries to steal it. The man is once again surprised to see her draw the gun from her head and lay it on the floor.

"Alright, where did you get this?"

"It's my gem weapon," she says, pointing to her forehead.

"So you're saying this is yours?"

"Yes."

"Is it a toy?" He asks, looking down at the star emblazoned on the side.

"No!" She says, greatly offended, "Look, I'll show you!"

The officer tries to stop her from picking up the weapon, but it disappears again only to reappear from her head. Dropping the bag of doughnuts to grip her gun with two hands, she aims at the nearest vending machine and shoots out the glass.

"See? Not a toy."

She turns proudly to face the two men, but her expression shifts to more confused when she sees the shock and anger on their faces.

"Alright, you're going to have to come with me now," the policeman says as calmly as possible.

"...Come where?"

Pearl has only just finished clearing up after Lapis' exit when she experiences the strange sensation of a phone ringing inside her head. She quickly summons it from her gem and answers the call.

"Is this Pearl?" The caller asks.

"Yes. What is this concerning?"

"This is the Beach City Police Department. We've picked up your child, Perry. She was causing trouble in a local shop with a firearm that she claims to own, resisted arrest, claims to be three thousand six hundred and twelve years old, and gave us a very odd full name that we suspect is fake."

Pearl says nothing for a moment, holding one hand to her head. Of course she got herself arrested. Of course.