"And so, my good sir," I announced late the next morning, "That is the entire truth of the matter regarding my wooing of one of your daughters, as well as the marriage of another. I humbly ask your blessing."
Mr Bennet stared at me over his (previously full) crystal decanter as he emptied it into his glass.
I had arrived at this situation after some soul-searching. I had, you might not be surprised to learn, at first thought Jeeves had meant to spill the beans to my dearest Elizabeth. But, upon reflection, I soon realized that this could not possibly be the case. A man as wise as Jeeves implicitly knew that there was a world of difference between a house built on sand and one rent asunder from threshold to turret by the righteous fury of a woman scornful – if I might be permitted to mix my sources. Therefore, I was left with the far less terrifying option before me. Or at least, that was the conclusion I'd come to the previous evening. Now, I was reconsidering my employment of the adverb 'far'.
My (optimistically) future father-in-law regained my attention with his gimlet gaze. "So, just to verify the facts, you mean to tell me you sent Wickham a letter, indicating, what was it again - a 'warning regarding'...?"
"An 'impending situation'," I supplied helpfully. I glanced about Mr Bennet's private office; it was a well-appointed room with high paneled walls, well-stocked bookshelves and wide bay doors, currently shut, behind which the two younger sisters had already been interrupted eavesdropping once, and Mrs Bennet twice.
"An intentionally staged situation, entirely of your fabrication," Mr Bennet clarified.
I gulped. "Yes, sir." It was dashed stuffy indoors - I ran my hand around my suddenly tight collar and over my heated forehead.
"All to convince Elizabeth to marry you?"
"Yes, sir," I repeated, with far greater alacrity and conviction.
Mr Bennet sank back into his chair. "And my brother-in-law Mr Gardiner knew of this?"
"Not the fabrication part," I clarified. "But the jist of the rest. It was the Gardiners who recommended the London marriage, actually," I added.
He knit stormy brows together. "I'll be having a few words with Mr Gardiner about this," he muttered.
"It was mostly Mrs Gardiner," I pointed out.
"Perhaps not, then," Mr Bennet hastily corrected. He then gazed at me with a puzzled air. "Did you form this… plan entirely on your own?"
"Ah." I interrupted tugging at my collar to cough delicately into a fist before resuming the aforementioned activities. "You will understand, sir, if I'm reticent to disclose any names that could implicate someone… materially unconnected to the situation. But rest assured, no one of my acquaintance ever intended any harm to you or any member of your family." With, looking back on it now, the possible exception of Miss Bingley; I've still never completely fathomed the nature of the rather poor relationship she and my ineffable Elizabeth formed. It was inconsequential in the current conversation, anyway. Doubtless, with his vaunted powers of observation, Mr Bennet already held more clues on the subject than I did.
"I see I will have to be satisfied with that." He sighed, gripped the oaken chair handles, and rose from his seat. "In any case, Mr Darcy, you have my blessing."
I paused my collar-pulling and forehead-wiping. "I do?"
"You do." Mr Bennet reached across his desk for my right hand, and proceeded it to pump it up and down firmly. "I wish you both the best."
"You do?" I echoed, arm like a limp noodle.
"I see no reason not to. My daughter has assured me she cares for you. And from your account and conduct, it seems clear that you care for her. Is it not so?" His grip and his smile both tightened.
"Absolutely and completely," I gasped, regaining the use of my inborn faculties. "You suspected it sooner than most, I imagine," I led, hoping for a glimpse of the Jeeves-alluded observational prowess.
Mr Bennet ignored the bait. "I've never held great expectations of you, Mr Darcy." - Just as a connoisseur of human character should think, I interjected privately, and so curiously unlike the many mamas I'd encountered over the years in town - "So if there's any lesson to be learned from this most illuminating recount, it's that in order to get to this point, you must be blessed either by astoundingly improbable luck, or indulgent and extremely capable connections. Either of which, I would be a fool to reject out of misappropriated spite." Mr Bennet patted my hand meaningfully as he held it clasped in both of his. "Welcome to the family, Mr Darcy."