We were arrested. Great.

The Second Adventure Part 4

"You are hereby detained," the man said in a bored, monotonous voice, "on suspicion of offences contrary to the Official Continuity Regulation, Article Seven, Subsection B(i)(3), which states clearly that no sentient lifeforms inhabiting, or visiting, the territory of the New United Kasterborous Accord shall not visit, nor attempt to visit, influence, or attempt to influence, any planet of a ranking below level three, before such a time as they develop of their own accord. By attempting to cure the droid by means of antibiotics, a medicine that is not due to be discovered here on level two Kriak for another five-hundred years, we submit that you have breached this regulation, introducing advancements to this world before their time.

"Oh, you can bore off," I exclaimed angrily. "We were just trying to help out."

"Watch your mouth," the man retorted, "don't make this any the worse for yourself."

We (that is to say me, the Doctor and the boss guy) were sat in a tiny interview room, set up very much like the police interview rooms I'd frequented back home. The walls were blue plaster, the seats plastic and comfortless. To my left shoulder was a mirror. A mirror which, I knew, certainly wasn't there for me to examine my reflection; I wondered how many people were behind it, watching us.

"You." The man barked, pointing at the Doctor. "You seem to be the brains behind the op. Anything to say for yourself?"

"Yeah," the Doctor said, sitting up straight, and resting his elbows on the table. "Yeah. Why?"

"Why?" The man frowned.

"Yeah. Why. Why here? I get that your on some sorta undercover sting operation. But why Kriak in particular? Why this part of Kriak? What gives?"

"You tell me." The man snapped.

"I can't," the Doctor said testily, "I've only just gotten 'ere. Look, pal...are you what I think you are?"

The man chuckled coldly. "I'm not sure who you think we are," he replied, "but I can tell you who we actually are. Time police, for want of a better word. We police the timelines of the universe, because there's nobody else to do it anymore. In times' gone by, there was a race...a wonderful, wonderful race...who looked after time. Who policed it, who kept it safe and in order. The Time Lords. But they're gone now. If not for people like us, people like you would be changing history left, right and centre. And that would never do. Would it?"

"S'pose not," the Doctor said. "But...c'mon, just imagine we were totally innocent for a sec-"

"-which we are." I snapped bluntly.

"Hush, Lynnie P!" The Doctor replied hastily, "the gentleman knows we're as guilty as two kids with their 'ands trapped in a cookie-jar. Don't you, mate?"

"Yes. I do know that." The man replied softly, smiling. "But go on."

"Right. So imagine we were just...passing through. Pretend, for a sec, we aren't a pair of hardened time meddlers...tell me; why the set up? Why here, why now?"

The man thought it over. He was chewing the end of a pen, studying the Doctor thoughtfully. Finally, he shrugged. "Yeah, all right. We had reports from this area, see."

"Ah ha!" The Doctor exclaimed. "Reports! Well, well, well! Reports about what?"

"Time distortions." The man hissed. "Localized time distortions. Care to explain that?"

"No." The Doctor said, grinning.

"Thought not. Well anyway...time distortions. They don't happen on a level two cesspit like this. Not unless...complete my sentence for me..."

"Unless a time traveller's messin' around here." The Doctor said, nodding.

"Yep. So I said to myself...Detective Superintendent Sloke, that is...I said to myself, there's one sure fire way to catch 'em. Stage a situation whereby they'd have to reveal 'emselves. You offered her antibiotics. The fake patient. Antibiotics! In a dump like this! And that evidence will ensure you go away for a long time. Clever, huh?"

"Oh yeah!" The Doctor exclaimed, rocking back on his seat. His crutches were leaned against the wall. "Yeah, great work."

"Apart from one thing." I interrupted.

"Go on."

"We aren't the right people." I said. "Sure, we offered to help that girl...but this time distortion stuff ain't nothing to do with us. We're here -"

"No." The Doctor growled softly.

"Oh, I think yes." Sloke laughed, raising his finger to silence the Doctor. "Yes. Your here...I'd be fascinated to know how that sentence is gonna end."

"We're tracking down a monster." I said defiantly.

Sloke raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah," the Doctor said grudgingly, "a monster that's got my mate. We're chasing it down. And let me go out on a limb here - it's what caused the time distortions."

Sloke lit a cigar. To my surprise, he shook the packet at me and the Doctor. Evidently he wasn't an officer to whom health and safety were a concern. We both declined. He lit his own and took a long drag. "All right." He said. "Say I was satisfied by that hogwash, which I'm not...we've still got you. Hook, line and sinker. Offering antibiotic treatment to someone from a primitive world. So you thought, anyway...it's a crime, amigos. A serious crime. And I'm gonna see you tried on the harshest of charges."

He clapped his hands, and two guards marched in at once. I rose from the chair, glaring at Sloke who smiled sadistically back at me. As the Doctor stood, he stumbled against one of the guards and leaned on the man's shoulder to steady himself. The other guard, glaring, tossed him his crutches.

"Cells." Sloke commanded. "Prisoner rations. We'll set course for home planet tomorrow."

And with that, we were led from the interview room and to our cell. I wondered what would actually happen if they did lock us up forever? Short answer; the universe would get half-eaten by the Whispering. It could do it. It would do it...this bunch of clowns were the Dad's Army of time travel. Far fetched sting operations, hasty arrests, idiot in charge...

But it wouldn't come to that. As we were thrown roughly into a shared cell (with two iron beds, each with the thinnest foam mattresses), the door locked firmly behind us, I sighed deeply. The Doctor did the same.

I looked at him and he at me. "Well," I said grudgingly, "that went well, huh?"

"Yep." The Doctor said, rolling his eyes.

"I reckon we should be off now," I continued, "don't you?"

"Yeah," the Doctor replied, "let's leave at once."

I grinned as he pulled the key from his pocket; the same key that he'd taken from the guard he'd pretended to stumble against back in the cell. We waited a little; a minute perhaps. Then, moving as quietly as possible, the Doctor inserted the key gently into the lock and twisted it. It was remarkable - for an elite secret time travel force, they still used lock and key.

"Well yeah," the Doctor explained, "stops people gettin' out using hidden sonic devices."

"Cool beans," I shrugged, "reckon there's a guard out there?"

"Let's find out," the Doctor laughed, wrenching the door open. "I'll 'ave to hobble for me life. If I get caught, you run. Tardis'll take you back home."

"Rubbish to that." I retorted. "No way am I leaving ya."

"Lynsey!" He said sternly. "I mean it! We could spend up to eighty years inside if they catch us again...nothing for me...but think what that means for you!"

"I don't care." I said firmly. "We'll both get out, or neither of us will."

He opened his mouth to argue - but decided the better of it at the last moment. And with that, we opened the door gently and slid out...

We crashed through the Tardis doors, laughing.

"We did it!" The Doctor exclaimed, punching the air and dancing around the console room, propping himself up on his crutches.

My smile faltered and I looked him uncertainly. "Did what?"

"We got away! We did it! Blimey, that were close for a moment..."

"Yeah..." I said. "Yeah, we came out of the cell...then ran out of the base..."

"Yep! we were fantastic!" The Doctor said, punching the air. "And you know something else?"

"What?" I said quietly. I was feeling a bit...a bit off balance. We'd gotten back very quickly.

"Time distortions," the Doctor said, now taking on a more serious, somber attitude, "these types are not caused by something arriving. Them idiots don't know that, of course. But I do. They're caused by something leaving."

I stared at him. "You mean..."

"Rose has been and gone, yeah." The Doctor said quietly. "I can still track where they went. But the next place we go, I'm gonna use the emergency booster systems. We arrived too late this time. They probably left ages ago. Next time, we'll face them. We'll get her. And we'll get rid of the Whispering."

"Good plan." I said. "How likely are we to manage?"

The Doctor shrugged. "Let's find out."

He jerked the lever down, and with a metallic humming noise, we were off.

I looked at him, and then at the central column thoughtfully...time distortions...

The Doctor's Diary, Entry 1965 Part 4

So yeah, like I said; the boss dude wasn't that keen on me. I could've stuck around and proven to him that I was a Time Lord - and as such, that I outranked him by a country mile - but...well, things to do. People to see, multi-dimensional hunters to catch.

I used my magnificent skills to steal the key, and we left without anyone being any the wiser. Oh, I'd have loved to have seen Sloke's face when he was told we'd made off. I think that's the first time in a long time that I'd escaped without any problem at all...out of the cell, out through the disguised castle part, across the barbarian filled hills, and back to the Tardis. Not bad for a man on crutches, and his plucky young friend.

So we're off. Not sure where we're going next, but we won't be too late this time.

Bit of a waste of time, Kriak. Got injured, nearly got duped into healing a robot, got arrested...and the Whispering had already long gone whilst all this was happening. Well no more. Wherever we go next, I'm gonna make sure we're there on time.