"She was a genius of sadness, immersing herself in it, separating its numerous strands, appreciating its subtle nuances. She was a prism through which sadness could be divided into its infinite spectrum."
― Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything Is Illuminated

9:29 Dragon

There was a steady creep of rainfall as Nicolai walked up the few steps to the platform at the center of the alienage. Winter's chill was still set in his bones, but he felt none of the cold as he looked down at Nennet.

The rain had soaked her beautiful golden curls, and her usual dark complexion seemed as pale as a sheet of parchment. Even in the coming downpour, Nicolai could see Nennet's tears as she clung to the pine box her mother had been set in. It was set next to a long row of similar coffins, all of them awaiting the pyre.

Nicolai set his hand on Nennet's shoulder, feeling her racking sobs. He stifled himself, trying to keep himself strong for his cousin.

He looked back to his other cousins. Shianni wore a black veil, her eyes filled not with grief, but hatred. Soris stood next to her, crying.

Nicolai turned back to Nennet, bending down to help her up.

"C'mon, Nenny…" He whispered, "You'll catch a cold…"

"Leave me be, Nicolai." Nennet said weakly, her gaunt cheeks and dark circles around her once bright eyes visible even in the rain.

"Why did it have to be her?" Nennet asked, "Why mother?"

"I don't know." Nicolai said, not sure if what he was saying was even comforting at all, "I just don't know."

Nennet fell into Nicolai's arms, her whole body shaking. Even though Nennet now barely weighed anything, the pressure of her hitting into Nicolai's cracked rib made him grunt in pain. He fought through the immense pain to hold Nennet close to him while she cried.

After a long while, Nicolai motioned for Shianni to take Nennet.

Nicolai stared down at the casket. The intense hate he felt started upsetting his control of his magical abilities. He wanted so bad to go mad and storm the arl's estate, killing everyone. The alienage has already suffered so much, and Nicolai knew no one was going to do a damn thing about the constant raids they had endured this whole week. The humans had killed so many, including Adaia, whom Nicolai had always thought to be made of dragon's scale.

His eyes flickered red, but he kept his nature at bay. Nicolai turned around, seeing Shianni putting something around Nennet. A large group of city elves had grown around them, also mourning the loss of their loved ones.

Nicolai felt a fire rise in his stomach. He pushed away the strands of gingery hair that fell on his face and cleared his throat.

"My fellow brothers and sisters of the alienage!" Nicolai called out, his booming voice quieting the whispers of his onlookers. He pointed to the coffin.

"Like you, my family has suffered greatly at the hands of the shemlen dogs who run this city." He said.

Nennet and Shianni looked up at him, Nennet stopped sniffling and cocked her head to the side.

"I ask you, what have we done as a people, to deserve such an unjust treatment?" Nicolai asked, "You see what they do to us?" He looked out into the crowd, "The humans come here, they set fire to our homes, they torture us, kill us, rape us, and they suffer nothing for it!" He felt the heat rise throughout his whole body.

Then he saw his uncle Cyrion off in the distance, fresh tears on his face. He hadn't eaten or slept since Adaia had been killed. Nicolai controlled his temper.

"I ask you this, my fellow elves, if we are to retaliate the same way, are we not just as bad as they are?" Nicolai said.

"They deserve to be slaughtered!" Someone called out.

"Aye, I'll not argue that," Nicolai said, "But if we kill one of them, do they not turn around and kill ten times as many of us?" There were a few nods of agreement.

Nicolai held out his hand to his peers, "So then let us rise above the destruction of this day. Let us rebuild." He called to them, "They all think us savages, but we are not so! Join me and we can bring the elves to greatness. To peace."

He watched Nennet pull away from Shianni and run back towards their home. Not long after Shianni followed, pushing past her uncle, who was listening intently to Nicolai.

Nicolai shrugged his cousin's reaction off, looked back to his people.

"What say you, fellow elves? Fellow citizens of Ferelden. Will you not take our tragedies and have them flourish into a new age for the city elves. We will build ourselves out of slums, and some day we will rise to even be in the presence of our King and Queen. We will no longer be seen as weak and defenseless, instead we should strive to persevere and come out strong as a united people! What say you!"

There was a soft cheer at first. Nicolai raised his hands.

"I said what say you?"

The cheer grew louder. This time Soris even clapped along. The louder they clapped the more they cheered, and Nicolai felt a glimmer of pride for his people.

He stepped down from the platform, giving Soris a hug before people started shaking his hand and clapping his back.

"You always know how to comfort the people, cousin." Soris said to him.

"I am simply trying to make our people see that we must have peace. And if I must speak out, I will." Nicolai gave a weak smile as he took the hand of an elderly woman.

"Well I'm sure your unusual size has something to do with it." Soris commented.

"Nicolai, I must speak with you."

Nicolai looked around for the source of the voice, seeing Valendrian move through the crowd. His face was grey and grim as he motioned for Nicolai to follow.

"See to uncle," Nicolai told Soris, "And try to get Nennet to eat something."

"Of course…" Soris said, turning back to take Cyrion home.

Nicolai followed Valendrian back to his home. He set his tattered cloak to the side, helping Valendrian put wood in the hearth.

"What is it you need from me, hahren?" Nicolai finally asked.

Valendrian motioned for Nicolai to take a seat by the fire. Nicolai's body ached when he bent to sit, but he made no show to Valendrian.

"Your speech…" Valendrian started.

"I know it is not my place, hahren," Nicolai started, "I just needed-"

Valendrian stopped him, "Do you think I'm reprimanding you, boy?" He shook his head, "As hahren, I always seek to pacify the people. With the recent riots...it has been difficult. Many lives were lost." He paused, "I am sorry about Adaia."

"Thank you, hahren." Nicolai said emptily.

"Many people loved her, she was a strong woman," Valendrian gave a forced smile, "I think maybe, if a member of her family were to carry on the charities she provided…"

"I'm not sure what your asking of me."

"Adaia was outspoken, yes. But she knew what was right for our people. Nicolai, I need you to help me. If our people saw a known defender of the elves brokering peace with the humans, gaining respect, they would have hope. I want us to flourish." He then added, "I am old, Nicolai. I have no illusions that I will live to see the status and treatment of our people changed. My hope is that I have a successor that truly believes as I do. The belief that we can be great, and that we don't need to fight and defend anymore. I no longer wish us to fester in filth, gathering diseases and dying of either plague or through the malice of the shems."

"Hahren…" Nicolai started, "I don't understand why you want me. There are many elves who want the same thing."

"They all respect you, lad," Valendrian said, "They see you and have hope. I need your strength, Nicolai. Please." He begged.

Nicolai looked at the old man, seeing the desperation in his clouded eyes. He felt a stirring in the pit of his stomach. Finally he nodded, taking Valendrian's hands in his.

"I promise you, hahren. I will make you proud. And I will make our people proud." Nicolai vowed.

Valendrian was overjoyed, "Thank you, lad." Tears brimmed his eyes as he patted Nicolai's shoulder, "Thank you."

Nicolai walked into the Tabris house only to have a large black kettle thrown at him. Whatever leftover stew that had been in it had now fallen on the floor.

"How dare you!" Nennet screamed at him.

Nicolai saw rage in her eyes as she ran at him, a flurry of blows hitting his chest. He stood there and let her hit him. Cyrion had gotten up to pull his daughter away but Nicolai let him. Shianni sat wide eyed in her chair, nursing her mug of ale. Soris looked at the floor and shuffled his feet.

"You make excuses for the way they treat us, but they're all animals!" Nennet screamed, "All of them! I want them dead for what they did!" Hot tears fell down her gaunt face.

"I'm just trying to have peace." Nicolai said quietly.

Nennet reeled back from him, disgusted. Shianni scoffed.

"You're a fool." Shianni said.

"Peace?" Nennet asked, "You want peace? Those dogs don't deserve peace! They deserve for us to go to their homes at night and slit their throats!" Her nostrils were flared, and her whole body heaved when she took a breath, "I hate you."

"You don't mean that…"

"They killed my mother!" Nennet screeched.

"And they killed my wife!" Cyrion hit his hand on the table, silencing all.

He looked at Nennet, "Clean up this mess, right now." He pointed to the floor, "I can't believe you. Any of you! Her body is still warm and yet you all squabble like children!" He looked at Soris and Shianni, "Help her. Put the kettle back on the fire and make something else to eat!" He sat back down, unsure if he was angry or overwhelmed with grief.

Soris went to get the kettle, washing it so they could all make a new stew. Shianni pushed past Nicolai, muttering 'traitor' as she did so.

Nennet scrubbed the floor, occasionally glaring at Nicolai, who had offered to help. Cyrion called him over.

"You really want peace?" Cyrion asked.

"Yes." Nicolai answered.

"I see…" Cyrion thought for a moment, he rubbed his face in thought.

"Uncle, I do not ask for anyone to understand. I just wish to prevent any further harm to our people." Nicolai fell to his knees, looking up at his uncle as he took his hands.

"I know you do." Cyrion said, "Just...do me one thing."

"Anything."

"Don't let it kill you."