"For all the fire that burned inside of me, I cannot bring myself to burn those who would see me fall."
Justinian 9:29 Dragon
"Then did I see the world spread before me, sky-reaching mountains arrayed as a crown, kingdoms like jewels, glistening gemstones strung 'cross the earth as a necklace of pearl. 'All this is yours,' spake the World-Maker. 'Join Me in heaven and sorrow no more.'"
Jowan sat in the Chapel pews, silently praying to his Maker. Or at least he liked to think he was. He listened to the Revered Mother speak the Chant, as she always did all hours of the day.
The mornings before class were always when the Chapel was fit to burst. Templars going in and out to say a prayer. Students visiting for religious contemplation…
Jowan felt Eshne next to him. She had been still for quite some time. He knew she was glaring right at the Revered Mother, who was too stupid to notice any hatred in Eshne's violet eyes.
Nani was nowhere to be seen. She stopped going to the Chapel after Redd had caught her and Eshne carving penises in the pews. Among other things that most would consider blasphemous.
Jowan didn't really know why Eshne was there today. After Nani stopped going, Eshne had become scarce. It had been years since she sat with Jowan to pray to the Maker. The Revered Mother kept on.
"What has been forgotten has not been lost…"
Jowan kept his head down, glancing over at Eshne while the Revered Mother recited the Chant. Her jaw was tensed, and her gaze locked on the Revered Mother.
"Are you alright?" Jowan asked.
Eshne hadn't answered him. She had been so quiet these past few weeks, barely even talking to Nani. Eshne just gave a quiet sigh, sitting back, folding her hands in her lap.
"'If they but listen, I shall return.'" The Revered Mother called out.
Jowan then noticed the serenity in Eshne's face. He thought to himself he saw that look before, but couldn't place where. Again, he repeated his question.
Eshne's eyes glazed over.
"Just fine, lethallin."
Jowan felt the hairs on his neck stand up. She had called him that many times before, but this time he felt a twinge of sadness in her words. He hadn't noticed that everyone was bowing their heads.
"Esh…" He started.
Jowan then saw the fire in her eyes, the look she would get when she was about to do something dramatic...or very dangerous.
The bench they had been sitting upon grew hot, the few people sitting with them kept twitching in their seats, trying to find the source of discomfort. Jowan watched the flesh on Eshne's hands crack, small embers seeping through and flying up into the air. Her whole body started to burn.
The Revered Mother held out her hands, her eyes closed, "Let the blade pass through the flesh, let the blood touch the ground, let my cries touch their hearts. Let mine be the last sacrifice."
Eshne's eyes changed, turning from their usual dark violet to a sinister orange. A snarl grew on her face. Jowan reached out and pushed Eshne down before she stood, holding her to the seat. He held in his cries, as her whole body was white hot. His hands started to sizzle.
Something clicked in Eshne's head when she saw Jowan's pain and she lost concentration of her spell. In an instant she looked to be her normal self.
Beads of sweat ran down her face and neck, she looked on in horror. Jowan kept his hands on her, praying to himself.
Eshne felt like she had lost her breath, her whole body felt drained. She stood up and quickly walked out. Jowan shot up to his feet to follow. He felt as though the Revered Mother would hardly notice, or care, that they left.
He followed her back to the apprentices quarters. Eshne stopped just before she entered and rounded on Jowan.
"Leave me alone, Jowan!" She snapped.
"Andraste's knickers I will!" Jowan shot back, "You want to tell me what happened back there?"
"No." Eshne said firmly.
"Eshne…"
"You ruined it, Jowan," Eshne pointed her finger at him, "I had it all planned out…"
Jowan frowned. He lowered Eshne's hand with his own. He saw Eshne's eyes flicker to the burns on his palms and she loosened a bit.
"Please tell me you weren't going to-to immolate…" Jowan's voice cracked.
Hot tears fell down Eshne's freckled cheeks. Jowan wiped them away with his thumb. He pulled her close to him while she sobbed.
"He's still here." Eshne choked, "They don't care." She buried her face into his chest.
"I know." Jowan whispered, "I know."
He held Eshne's chin up, "But don't you ever do this again, Eshne...Maker knows I care about you too much." He touched his forehead to hers.
"I can't lose you…" Jowan then whispered to her.
"I'm sorry, Jowan." Eshne said, her voice cracking.
"Don't be," He told her, "Everyone has to be a little weak sometimes."
Eshne scoffed, "Or all the time."
"Where's the over-confident, trouble making Eshne that I know?" Jowan asked, trying to get Eshne to smile, "The one who switched the sugar for salt in the kitchens? The one who stole Chantry robes and posed as an initiate so she could get into the Templar quarters and steal all of the smallclothes?"
Eshne gave a slobbering laugh, wiping away the mucus from her runny nose.
"C'mon, Esh...let's go clean your face before class." Jowan led her into the quarters, "Or prank Greagoir...your choice."
Eshne splashed water on her face, drying herself before reapplying her signature scarlet lipstick. Once she was done she went to Jowan, going on the tips of her toes to kiss his cheek. There was a red smudge on his face, but he didn't wipe it away.
"Thank you, Jowan…" Eshne gave him a weak smirk.
"Anytime." Jowan pulled her in for a hug.
Eshne pulled away, "I really haven't pranked someone in a while…"
"Let's go then!"
Eshne smiled, "I know the perfect one."
Nani sat in the library, lazily thumbing through an old copy of 'Aveline: Knight of Orlais'. Niall sat next to her, engrossed in a codex about Isolationism. His free hand went to hers, and his thumb gently rubbed her knuckles.
They both sat quietly, enjoying each others company as they always did. All around them apprentices were scrambling to get their studies in before they were ultimately shut from the library. They were expected to be in the dorms after sun down. Nani remembered back to when she had to worry about curfew, if worry is what she called it.
She never paid any mind to the restrictions on the library, and she taught Eshne to do the same. Of course now that she was a full fledged mage, Nani no longer had such a tight leash on when she was to be in her quarters.
Niall cleared his throat, and Nani took it to mean he was annoyed with the few apprentices cracking jokes in the corner. Nani smiled to herself, running her thumb once over his fingers. He calmed a bit.
They both had finally settled back into peace and quiet when there was a soft pip pap hurrying along the stone floors. Nani looked up and saw Wynne making her way over, looking flustered.
"Na'Nalia, have you seen Eshne?" Wynne asked.
Nani shook her head, "No I haven't, have you checked with Jowan?"
"No, not yet…" Wynne sighed, "I swear that girl…she's late for her lessons."
"Where are your other students?" Niall asked.
Wynne rubbed her temples, "I was going to do a few private lessons with Eshne, she's behind on her healing."
"Well that's what I'm for." Nani grinned.
"Yes, well, you can't always be there to heal, Nani…"
"When am I ever going to get the chance, dear Wynne?" Nani asked, looking around, "I'd say the Circle is rather quiet at the moment."
Wynne waved her off, "I'll go check the apprentice quarters again."
"That sounds like a plan." Nani put her thumb up, going back to her book.
Wynne walked away in a huff, Niall looked at Nani.
"Don't you care where your sister is?" He asked.
Nani didn't look up from her book, "Three...two...one…"
There was a loud bang from the hallway, followed by a set of hurried footsteps. Eshne appeared in the doorway, her face covered in soot. She spotted Nani and ran to her.
"Okay, don't tell Wynne...but...I might have put cinnabar in Greagoirs mug rather than cinnamon." Eshne explained, "So…"
Jowan came stumbling in after her, his face equally as dirty, "Eshne, we better hurry." He ran over to her.
"Right. I need to wash up." Eshne said.
"How can you condone this?" Niall asked Jowan.
Jowan shrugged, "She's her happy self."
"Nice book, nug humper." Eshne looked at Niall, she raced back through the library entrance, but before she left she turned back, "As the Orlesians say, 'Vive le Libertarians'" She whisked herself away. Jowan ran after her.
"I-" Niall started, "Why?"
"Cinnamon makes Greagoirs tongue swell and he gets a lisp. He puts allspice in his tea usually. There's really hardly a difference, but cinnamon just seems to be the one that gets to him."
Nani knew what Niall had been hinting at, but she chose to answer in her own way. Niall took notice and didn't question any further. He knew Nani loved Eshne dearly, it was best not to pry any more than he already had.
Niall settled back into his chair, taking Nani's hand once more.
"I adore you, darling." Niall finally said.
"And I adore you too."