How is it that somehow, during the holidays I write more? How did that happen? Why am I spamming rhetorical questions? Anyways, the next chapter! Read, review, jump off the edge of a cliff to get away from the pufferfish-throwing, fanfiction writer named Mirrorbrine and follow!

It was the most awkward introduction of my life. What could I say? 'Hello, I'm the person you think was a crazy stalker. By the way, everything you know about me and Notch is wrong and you have to help me defeat my own creation.' So when I heard the two words, I instantly froze.

"Who's there?"

Steve.

"It's nothing."

Alex.

I hoped they wouldn't scream to Notch. Then he'd know. I closed my eyes.

"I don't appreciate being called nothing." I replied pleasantly as I stepped out of the shadows. They were armed in seconds.

Impressive.

"W-who are you?" stuttered a voice.

Steve again.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm sure you've read enough of Notch's scrolls to know," I answered easily.

"W-who are you," came the same shaky voice. I opened my eyes, revealing glowing white.

"I am Herobrine."

I stood protectively in front of Alex. According to the scrolls he was evil. Dangerous.

But he said the scrolls had been written by Notch. Maybe that was true. He hasn't attacked us.

That was true. But if the scrolls were right...

"Drop your weapons." The voice that came seemed more patronising than threatening.

"W-why?" I called. He sighed.

"If wanted to kill you, you would be dead," he stated simply. I gulped.

That didn't sound promising.

"How do we know you aren't lying?" Even Alex was braver than me now. She was the new spawn. I was the experienced one. Yet she was, talking to Herobrine, without the slightest tremor in her voice. I felt like a failure. I swore he rolled his eyes.

"Alex, drop your weapon and I swear not to hurt you." The shock in Alex's eyes was evident. Why was she shocked? It took a moment to sink in.

How did he know her name?

"I'll explain that later," he commented.

"Explain," demanded Alex. "Everything." Herobrine seemed slightly irritated.

"The two of you aren't natural," he stated.

"Aren't natural? Are you saying you're going to kill us for being 'unnatural'? That we don't deserve to live?" The words burst from my lips before I could stop them.

"It's true. You were made in a lab... Steve and Alex." Thoughts were rushing through my head. I had spawned like this. I had never grown or changed. I could recover fast, swim through lava and survive and eat nothing but cake for a week without any problems. Was that the difference?

"How do you know our names?" I asked.

"It was written on the experiment. Project ST3V3 and Project A13X. The only survivors."

"Who created us?"

"Notch ordered the experiment." His answers were simple and concise. It was like a questionnaire. I was starting to relax. Then the one question I had always wanted to ask came to my mind.

"What is my purpose?"

The answer wasn't what I had expected. It wasn't some grand scheme. It wasn't a lie about being supernatural and strong soldiers. It was the truth. The one I had always feared.

"As toys for Him to play with." The words meant so much. Every dream of being the last of a lost civilisation, a lost citizen of a vast city, the long-lost prince of a castle of people was shattered. He was made to be used, an object of entertainment; short-lived, clueless and useless. Every trial he had faced, every mob he had defeated, every burning pain he had felt was unnecessary. Alex was different. She didn't need the purpose that drove him to survive. She was less than a week old. She didn't need to care about being the last two people on the planet.

Actually the last four people on the planet. And we may not be people anyways.

"What do you want?"

"For you to help me." I never thought that he would need help. What would he need help with? He was pretty much a god to some villages.

And a devil in others...

Still, there was no need to ask us. But it would give me a sense of purpose. Every word of his explanation made sense.

"What do you want us to do?" I ventured.

"I need you to help me defeat Notch."

Done! Go away or I'll throw pufferfish at you! If that doesn't convince you to leave I'll quote Mirrorbrine! Ahem.

'I do only as the pufferfish desires

I listen to the pufferfish' wishes

I obey their every command

Long live the pufferfish

The pufferfish knows all

HEIL PUFFERFISH'

...

Still here?

Whatever. I'll do an extra. This one's for Mirrorbrine considering he actually wrote all that.

Note: This is the Steve from my other story. So he's a bit of a derp.

Steve vs pufferfish

Steve looks around, searching for his opponent. The cactus dotted terrain bears no visible opponents.

"Hurry up!" he yelled, "I want to eat!"

He glances at his inventory and saw his mighty opponent. A pufferfish.

"..."

"Eat it already!"

"Fine," he grumbles, "Heckler." He chokes down the pufferfish.

"Yay!" yells said heckler.

"Shut up!" Steve gaspes at the heckler. "I'm trying to eat a pufferfish!"

Steve stumbles round for a while then bumps into a cactus, dissolving into gear.

"And so ends our first pufferfish games!"

I wasn't feeling creative so yeah.

*Flicks lever*

*Pufferfish falls from the sky*

Happy Update Aquatic! I hope you get killed by dolphins (One of my friends did)!