"What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: 'This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more' ... Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: 'You are a god and never have I heard anything more divine."

― Friedrich Nietzsche

Nani slapped the elf awake. He groaned, his head moving back and forth slowly. His eyes opened, trying to assess where exactly he was. He saw Eshne and Nani standing over him.

"What?" The elfs eyes widened, seemingly surprised that he was alive.

Thackery had tied him to a thin tree just outside their camp. Argo and Henley stood behind Nani, growling when the elf moved. Argo sat down and whined when Melia came over with Alistair.

"I rather thought I would wake up dead. Or not at all at the case might be," The elf said, then he looked at Nani, "But I must say, what a pleasant thing to open my eyes to."

Nani turned around and looked at Eshne, who signed what the elf had said.

Nani slapped him again, "Shut up." She spat, "You'll only speak when spoken to."

The elf laughed, "An aggressive little minx aren't you? Beautiful as well."

"I hardly think this is the time for flirtations." Melia said to him, frowning when he winked at her.

"If it's questions you seek allow me to save you some time," The elf said, "My name is Zevran, or Zev to my friends. Not that I have many at the moment. I am an Antivan Crow, sent with one purpose, and that is to slaughter any surviving Grey Warden. Which of course I have failed miserably."

"We're rather happy about that." Alistair said.

"As would I be," Zevran laughed, "Ah but alas it is not so joyous for me. Getting captured by my target is hardly becoming of an assassin."

"Too bad." Nani feigned a sarcastic smile.

"Yes, indeed. Too bad for poor Zevran."

"What exactly is an Antivan Crow?" Melia asked.

"He's part of a rather famous group of assassins I'm afraid." Nennet came from behind, her wounds recently bandaged, "Someone paid a lot of money to see us dead."

"Technically they only mentioned a man and an elf with white hair, and unparalleled beauty." Zevran said, smiling when Alistair glared at him.

Nani scoffed, "What were they stupid?"

"I'm thinking not many white haired elves roam across Thedas. Dalish no less. It is easy to look for the pale lion and not see the hunting party surrounding you." Zevran said, "But to get back to your point. Yes, the Crows were paid handsomely. And I'm quite surprised you've never heard of us. We're quite famous."

Nani laughed, "Not for killing people apparently."

Zevran tsked, "Is this what Fereldens do, mock their prisoners?"

"I could do worse." Nani threatened.

"Oh please, I have a high threshold for pain." Zevran gave her a lustful look.

"Let's get to the point," Melia sighed, "Who hired you?"

"A rather taciturn fellow. Loghain was his name. I think? Sad eyes, protruding jowls…" Zevran started.

"I suppose it was only a matter of time." Nennet shrugged, "He was rather quick about it I'll give him that."

"He doesn't know everyone else made it out of Ostagar," Alistair said, "Just Melia and I. Perhaps we could use this..."

"Don't start making plans in front of the prisoner, Alistair." Nennet warned him, "He could have loyalties to Loghain."

Zevran gave a hearty laugh, "I have no idea what his issues are with you. I'm assuming the usual, you threaten his power. I was contracted to perform a service, that is all."

"And now that you've failed?" Melia asked.

"Ah, that is between Loghain and the Crows. And subsequently the Crows and myself."

"And between you and us." Melia added.

"Is that not what we're establishing now?" Zevran asked

"Were you to meet up with Loghain after this?" Nennet demanded.

"No, no," Zevran said, "The Crows would have informed him of your death. I have no need to see Loghain no matter the outcome of our encounter."

"You sure are divulging a lot of information." Alistair said.

"And why not, my friend? I wasn't paid for silence." Zevran laughed.

"Aren't you loyal to the Crows?" Nani asked, looking to Eshne to sign what he was going to say.

"Loyalty is an interesting concept," Zevran gave a sly smile, then looked to Melia, "Perhaps you'd be interested in discussing it further?"

"Make it quick." Melia said.

"Well, it is clear I have failed to kill you. Now my life is forfeit. If you don't kill me, the Crows will." He shrugged, "An unfortunate side to the business. Thing is, I like living. And you, my friend, give the Crows pause. Allow me to serve you instead."

"Can we expect the same loyalty?" Nennet scoffed.

"I happen to be a very loyal person. At least until the point where someone expects me to die for failing. I can't be faulted for that, yes?"

"What the hell is stopping you from finishing the job?" Nani asked.

"A good question," Zevran sighed, "If I'm being honest I never really had a say with the Crows. They bought me on the slave market as a child, for a bargain I'm told. In my humble opinion, I have paid them back many times over, the only way out however, is to join with someone they cannot touch. Even now they might just kill me on principal. And honestly, I'd rather take my chances with you. What say you?"

Nennet shook her head, "Don't agree to this, Melia."

"I'm inclined to side with Nennet." Alistair said.

"What's the harm in having him join?" Eshne asked, "Loghain knows at least two of us survived the carnage at Ostagar, he'll send more. Zevran can be a useful ally in the days to come."

"I like you." Zevran said to Eshne, "Perhaps if I survive this ordeal we can confer in private?"

Eshne looked at Melia, "Mel, let's keep him."

Melia rolled her eyes. She let out a long sigh and looked to the others.

"Zevran, you may stay." She relented.

Zevran bowed his head, "Then I am your man without reservation."

Alistair shook his head, "Melia, this doesn't seem like a good idea."

"I happen to agree with Eshne, for once. Loghain means to kill us, you more importantly. We need someone like Zevran to help us. We cannot afford more enemies." Melia said.

Alistair sighed, then looked back at Zevran, who was staring at Melia's behind.

"If you say so."

Thackery crawled out of his tent, his hair every which way from rolling in his sleep. He wiped his eyes, then pulled on his boots. When he looked up he saw Nicolai sitting in the sand, looking out on the lake. Thackery walked over and sat down next to him.

"I can see you haven't gone to your tent. Your watch ended hours ago." Thackery said pointedly.

Nicolai didn't answer. Thackery picked up a lone strand of grass and tore it in his hands. He waited for Nicolai to respond but instead there was only silence.

It was clear that Nicolai had been crying, his eyes were red and he sniffled. Thackery set his hand on Nicolais shoulder.

Nicolai looked at Thackery, as if seeing him for the first time, "What have I done?"

"What you had to do." Thackery told him.

"All those people…"

"Were going to kill us," Thackery said, "You were just trying to protect your family."

Nicolai shook his head, "They got to me. They were in my head, it wasn't me." He balled his fists, "It wasn't me, and that has me terrified. I can't let this happen, I've suppressed them for so long they come out with such intensity…" He put his head in his hands, "I'll just have the Circle make me Tranquil-"

"Don't say that," Thackery scolded him, "Eshne told me being Tranquil is a horrible fate, do not do that to yourself. We need you with us."

Nicolai looked at Thackery, "What if I can't stop it next time?"

"You were able to stop this time, I know you can again. Maybe we can find some answers when we go to the mages. You're a Grey Warden now, they can't take you." Thackery said assuredly.

"You're always kind to me, Thackery," Nicolai said, "Why?"

Thackery shrugged, "You've been so strong. Nenent talks about your work in the Alienage, how much you've done for your people...and it's a quality I much admire."

Nicolai stared into Thackery's eyes, the sincerity in them seemed to stir something in his stomach. He felt his heart racing, and his lips went dry. He turned away quickly.

"Thank you." Nicolai said, "Everyone else hasn't bothered to even look at me."

Thackery sighed, looking behind him to see the mountains far off in the distance, the peaks illuminated by the moon.

"I can hardly blame Melia for being so cold. I know she won't stay that way for long," Thackery assured him, "It's the mountains more than anything. She doesn't much like looking at them anymore." He sighed, "And I'm sure you know Nani isn't about to be forgiving anytime soon. I have a feeling she and Eshne already knew. After all, Jowan really fucked them up. And...don't mind Alistair. He's a Templar, they're all just dicks."

Nicolai laughed, "He's a good man."

Thackery looked back out at the lake, "I suppose. But he's got another thing coming if he thinks I'm leaving him alone with Mel."

"You said it yourself, don't let the actions of the minority sully your opinions of the majority." Nicolai reminded him.

"I suppose I did say that." Thackery laughed, "Maybe I should take my own advice. Sometimes I think Jean altered my opinions more than he did Mel's."

"Jean?"

Thackery's body went cold, "I-I um…" He stammered, "I shouldn't have said anything."

Nicolai lowered his voice, "That's the father of Melias boy isn't it?"

When he didn't receive an answer, Nicolai took Thackery's hand in his own.

"I won't say anything. It's not my place." He said.

Thackery felt something inside him open up.

"It's not that he makes me hate mages. Or even blood mages…" Thackery started, "But the very idea that I could be part of his race just...it unsettles me. All my life I thought I was full blooded Dalish, just like Mel. When I found out my father was a shem it broke me. I don't know who I am anymore."

"You're a Grey Warden," Nicolai answered, "Doesn't matter who we thought we were. The day we drank from that chalice, we all became something different."

Thackery didn't say anything else. Instead, he moved closer to Nicolai, looking over the lake.

Zevran watched Eshne from across the campfire. She was making hand signs at her sister. He wasn't quite sure what they had been doing, but Nani was extremely concentrated on Eshne's hands.

"What exactly is this?" He asked Eshne.

His question seemed to startle her, and she didn't finish what she was saying. Nani furrowed her brow and threw her arms up.

"Don't you stop mid-sentence!"

Eshne held up her finger as if to ask Nani to give her a moment.

"We're talking." Eshne said to Zevran, finally finishing what she was saying to Nani.

"No I didn't borrow your knickers, Eshne." Nani said to Eshne, "Check Nennet's tent."

"Say it louder, Nani." Eshen said, at the same time talking with her hands.

"What?" Nani looked up, finally noticing Zevran was there. She seemed angry.

"When did he get here?" She asked, she stood to her feet and stomped away.

Eshne sighed, "I'm sorry."

Zevran shrugged, "It seems that I'm the one to blame."

"If you must know," Eshne started, "Nani and I are from the Circle. We fled to the Wardens when a maleficar we helped...his spell caused an explosion. It broke my nose, but it cost Nani her hearing."

"I see."

"It's not like she can't hear, her left side cleared up quite a bit. But her right is mostly gone." Eshne sighed.

"And the?" Zevran imitated Eshne's hand signs.

"Oh!" Eshne seemed caught off guard, "Nani and I used to know a child that had lost his hearing in the Alienage. He taught us signs his mother used to talk to him. All of the other kids made fun of him, but Nani was so kind...he taught her and then she taught me."

Zevran cocked his head to the side, "Could you show me?"

Eshne thought for a moment, "Why?"

Zevran shrugged, "Maybe she needs more people to talk to her."

A smile crept across Eshne's face, "I can teach you the dirty ones first. I'm sure she would love that."

Zevran laughed, "I'm sure I'll learn those quite quickly."

"Of that I have no doubt." Eshne joined his laughter, then added, "You're quite the enigma, Zevran."

Zevran nodded, "That's part of my charm, my friend. Part of my charm."

Melia pulled her knitted shawl around her tightly. She kept her eyes glued the the silhouette of the mountains. She felt an intense pressure in her temples, trying to massage the pain away without effect.

Whispers ran down the peaks of the Frostbacks and over the foothills. The chill set into her bones, and Melia could feel the whispering crawl into her head. Avoice called to her from the darkness.

"You remember these hills, my dove. I used to watch you hunt those forests, stalking your kill. Never suspecting I was doing the same."

"You have no power over me anymore." Melia called to the darkness, "You stay away."

"Darkspawn, my magic...you'll never rest peacefully again."

"Keep back, I will not submit so easily." Melia said, "Cease your evil words."

"But I love you, and I know you feel the same."

Jean seemed to materialize before her, his hand grazing her cheek.

"Remember." He said to her, pulled her to him, "Remember the sweet words you once said to me."

"I never meant it." Melia said.

"Are you so sure?" Jean asked her, "You said it once." He ran his thumb over her lip, "Say it again."

Melia felt her body weaken, she fell into his arms and immediately the pain in her head disappear. His lips fell on hers hungrily, his wicked tongue licking hers.

"Come back to me." He begged.

"You're dead." Melia said, her voice faltering.

Jean chuckled, kissing her again, "That cannot keep our love apart for long."

"Our love?" Melia asked.

"Yes."

Melia pulled herself away, "Your obsession."

"Melia…"

"Begone, I will not hear more of your lies."

Jean grabbed her by the throat, shoving her into the trunk of a tree. He squeezed her neck hard, but then gave her a gentle kiss on the nose.

"You should know I'll return for you, my dove. You are my being. As long as you draw breath I will always find you." He released her.

As quick as he had come, he had gone. Melia stared into the blackness of night, holding her throat as it burned in pain. She began to sob, and when she felt someone wrap their arms around her she fell into them.

"He's coming for me," She cried, "They had him killed but still he haunts me."

"Who?"

Melia looked up when she heard Alistair. His forehead lined with concern, and though Melia knew he could hardly see her, she saw him. She sat up, but Alistair kept his arms around her. Melia didn't protest his affection.

"Jean…" She whispered, as if saying his name were a curse, "The man who is father to my son. But to call him that is an insult." She shook her head, "He should have died in those mountains."

"Perhaps some sleep would help?" Alistair suggested.

"I can't even escape him there." Melia sighed, "Between that and the darkspawn...I just can't. I'm sorry…" She said, "I should not burden you. These past few days have not been easy for you."

"Don't worry about me," Alistair shrugged, "I'm used to Lady Isolde being cold to me. And with the Blight, I'm sure we'll come upon problems everywhere we go. But you...you've done so much. The least I can do is listen, as you have done for me."

Melia sighed, "It's been so hard to keep it inside. I tell Thackery some things, but I know he can't handle the rest. He's dealt with enough when it comes to our past."

She looked out into the darkness, "I knew the night my Keeper threw Jean to the wolves that he would slip away like the snake he is. It's only a matter of time before he comes back for me." She started to cry again, "He's going to find out about Ivor, and I won't even be there to protect him." She began to panic, "What have I done? I should have stayed…"

Instinctively she put her arms around his neck and cried. Alistair held her close and let her weep.

"You and I both know that the sickness would have killed you," Alistair told her, "And at least now, you have to choice to see him again."

"Choice? I have none." Melia shook her head, "I'm a Grey Warden."

Alistair looked into her eyes, "I will walk through fire if it means you can see your son again."

Melia kept his gaze, "Why?"

Alistair hesitated, "Because you deserve a bit of happiness in this world. More than most."

"Alistair-"

"You should get some sleep." Alistair suggested, "We have to set out come daybreak."

"I can't let them see me like this." Melia said.

"Then we'll stay here."

Alistair propped himself up against the tree, Melia set herself under his arm. The two of them listened to the crickets and the owls, staring out into the night.