Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN THEM…although I secretly wish I did
All eyes turned to me. I knew it was my turn to tell my story, but I knew it wasn't like anyone else's. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before opening my eyes. I starred at my hands as I began to tell my tale. I couldn't pull my eyes of Damon, somehow, he had become my rock as I spoke.
"My parents had me at a young age and their marriage fell apart because of it. When I was 3 my mother took me and moved to Phoenix, Arizona, a place where she wasn't suffocated. She was never a small-town type of girl and even though my father loved her very much, he knew he had to let her go. Fork, Washington to her was like gum stuck to the bottom of a shoe. She hated how small it was and how it was never sunny, she wanted to shine.
So, I spent every summer, until the age of 12, with my father in Forks. Most of my time was spent on the Indian reservation called La Push. My father's best friend lives there along with his son..." I paused because I just couldn't say his name.
"I was 17 when I moved back with my dad. My mom had married a young baseball player, Phil. He was going to be trying out on different teams and I knew my mom wanted to go with him, but I also knew she didn't want to leave me alone at the house. So, I offered to live with Charlie, even though I really didn't want too. I hated it there, there was no Sun and it was cold, and it rained way too much. When it didn't rain, it snowed, and I hated snow even more than rain" I paused and looked at him. He nodded for me to continue, so I did.
"So, I moved in with him and it was nice; he bought me an old Chevy red truck which I loved. Then school was easy and most of the kids were helpful and nice. I thought I could be ok there, you know. So, a couple weeks went by and one day my whole life changed. My friend Jessica told me about the Cullen's as they walked by us in the cafeteria. Emmett and Rosalie, Alice and Jasper, and then Edward. I was told they were Dr. Carlisle and his wife Esme's adopted kids. Most people thought it was weird that they were dating each other, but they weren't blood related in my mind.
So, Edward and I kept having these glances with each other, I just couldn't pull my gaze from him. When I went to Biology, Edward was giving me an evil look. It felt like I was disgusting, and it made me mad. Throughout class he stayed as far away from me as possible and his face was always scrunched up. When class finished, he left the room just as the bell rang. I knew he hated me, but I couldn't understand why.
At the end of the day I had to go bring this paper back to the front office and I was surprised to find Edward there trying to get into another Biology class. I knew then he wanted to get away from me, but I still didn't understand why? I was going to confront him the next day at school, but he wasn't there. He wasn't there for weeks after and I thought maybe Biology would be my favorite subject again.
Out of the blue, Edward comes back. He's all sweet and nice and I'm thrown for a loop. He apologized for his behavior and then tells me we shouldn't be friends, but he doesn't want to be away from me anymore. That confused me the most. So, we talk here and there over the next couple weeks and I'm beginning to really like him. Then he goes and saves my life when my friend Tyler almost kills me with his van and that's when I started to question what he was." Damon looked a little pissed at that bit of information.
"After that things were a little crazy. We kept having weird conversations, yet I found them fascinating and fun. Finally, one day, I met up with friends to go to the beach and there I met up with Jacob. I tried 'flirting' with him to get him to tell me why the Cullen's weren't allowed on the reservation that Jacob's tribe lived on. After that I couldn't stop obsessing about Edward and the things Jacob told me. So, one day I went with some friends to Port Angeles to find a book that had more of the Quileute legends."
"What a Quileute?" Bonnie asked and the look in her eyes said she knew something about them that I didn't I would have to talk to her later about it.
"Quileute is Jacob's tribe. They have many legends about where they came from and about tribe warriors and their wives. Well one of the legends told me of Cold Ones, about how they hard rock hard and very cold, and they drink blood from humans and such and I had to learn more. Like I said I went to this store and some guys started following me when I got out of it. Edward showed up out of nowhere and saved me. He took me to eat after.
I ate, he didn't. We talked and when he drove me home, I just knew that he was a 'Cold One.' That night I had a dream about everything that happened to me since I met Edward. The next day at school we went into the woods and I told him I knew he was a vampire. A very long chat later and I knew I loved him. After that we couldn't be separated, and he told me all about what he was, his laws, his family, everything.
The day I introduced him to Charlie, he took me out to play baseball. Well they played, and I called the shots. Out of nowhere, some rogue vampires show up. They had red eyes, unlike the Cullen's, so I knew they drank human blood, where the Cullen's drank animal blood. The animal blood gives the Cullen's golden eyes, there very pretty. Anyway, one of the rogues got my scent and thought my life would be a fun game. We played cat and mouse for a while and eventually I went to him because I thought he had my mother. When I got to him I realized he didn't have my mother but a recording of her." There were a few gasps.
"I should have known it was a trick, but I couldn't risk it. She was my mother and if she was in trouble it was my fault. Well, he tortured me and while he did, he told me all about how he almost had Alice, but she got away. He told me of her past and how he had wanted her for a long time too. I knew I needed to tell Alice about James and about what he told me. So, I bated him until Edward showed up. I didn't care what he did to me if I could just tell Alice about why she was changed. They fought and James bit me, the burn was worse than anything I have ever been through. It was like I was on fire from the inside out.
The other Cullen's showed up then and took care of James while Carlisle tried to save my life. A piece of glass cut an artery in my leg and I was losing a lot of blood. While he tried to stop it, Edward sucked the venom out and keep me human. I woke up in the hospital and my parents told me I fell out a window. Of course, I know what really happened and after a little begging made Edward to promise he wouldn't leave me." I showed everyone the scar I had of James' bite.
"We don't know why it's cold. It's the only real evidence of what happened. My broken leg healed and so did my ribs. Edward took me to the Junior prom and not only did I hate dances altogether, but I went in a cast, which made me hate it more. But it was a good night and I am glad I went.
After that things were good for the next year...until my 19th birthday." I paused and looked at Alice and Jasper.
"You don't know how sorry I am Bella." Jasper said softly, not really looking at me. Even though I knew he felt the forgiveness in me, he still hated himself.
"It's not your fault. I forgive you 100% Jasper." I paused to look at the others. "You see Alice threw me a small party with just the family. Clumsy me gave myself a paper cut, and Jasper came after me. Edward pushed me out the way and accidentally threw me into the wall and my fall broke the glass candles on the table under me. I ended up cutting my arm, everyone but Carlisle had to leave."
"If I had more control..."
"Jasper, you're an empath and you were in a room with 6 other vampires. It wasn't just your thirst but theirs as well that you felt. After I was all stitched up, Edward brought me home. Over the next week I didn't see him or hear from him. I saw him a week later still wearing the same outfit as my party. We went for a walk in the woods..."
I stopped as the memories flooded me. I could feel Jasper sending me calming waves and soon I was in Alice's lap. I was hyperventilating and despite the help from Jasper it was still hard to breath. I could see him doing over time and pushing everything he had into me to calm me down.
"He told me he didn't love me, that I was a distraction, nothing but a toy. He made me feel low and used and I hated him and even then, I loved him which made me hate him even more. He told me it would be as if he never existed and he made good on that promise. The only thing of them left was the memories I had."
"Bella..."
"I know. After he left me I chased after him. I didn't want to believe the things he said so I thought if I could just find him, I could make it better. I got lost and I was found hours later, soaked to the bone and ice cold."
"Keep going." Alice encouraged me knowing if I got it all out I would feel better.
"I was a zombie for months after that, not really eating or sleeping. I went to school, but I lost all my friends and Charlie was really worried. He wanted to ship me back to my mom, that's when I promised I would change. And I did. I became an adrenalin junkie and that's when Jake came back into the picture."
"You have to finish, Jasper says he can feel you relaxing more. He says saying it all out loud is helping, you have to finish." He was right, I felt like weight was being lifted off my shoulders, I felt like I could breath.
"Jake and I got close. We started dating and it felt like I was whole again. He was my Sun, my new beginning, my ray of hope. Things started looking good and I was happy again which made my dad happy, until May. I was attacked by Laurent, a vampire who was working with Victoria. Victoria was James' mate and she felt revenge was in order. She said a mate for a mate and even though Edward was gone, and I was with Jake, it still didn't stop her from coming after me. The wolves killed him before he could hurt me physically but emotionally I was destroyed."
I paused as these raw memories flooded me. Alice rubbed my back and I took a deep breath.
"Jake and I broke up a couple weeks after the attack and I didn't know loss until then. This was different then when Edward left, it was worse. I tried to stay strong, for Charlie, but it was hard. I was always scared, always wondering when she would get me. 2 weeks before graduation Jake came to see me. I thought he wanted me, that he still loved me. But all he did was push the knife deeper into my heart."
"Let me guess he found someone else?" Caroline asked softly.
"He told me about the legends of his tribe, of how he turned into a giant wolf and was sworn to protect the people of his land. How he was their Alpha and it was his duty to ensure everyone's safety. He told me about a myth passed through the wolves called imprinting and how he found his soul mate in Phiona. I left before he could say more and once I graduated I moved here."
"So, this thing with the mutt is recent?" Damon asked, and I nodded.
"My life is a mess. I have two exes' here and one wants me back while the other thinks I'm up for side play. And on top of that I have you ruining everything I'm trying to re-build" I said standing up and pushing him. I turned to look at everyone. "So now you all know what kind of a screw up I am. I attract danger at every turn and I fall for all the wrong guys."
I walked away and left, knowing they would all talk about what I said. But I didn't care, I just wanted a nice long nap.