Disclaimer: I own Nothing...
I don't know how I found myself here, but I did.
I was laying on Damon's bed, under the covers, half asleep. I was too tired to care or move so I closed my eyes. It was the only place right now where I felt safe and calm. After everything that has happened so far, I just needed some time to myself in a place I felt most comfortable. Why that was Damon's room was beyond me. I had so many questions flying through my head and I knew I would never get them if I didn't sit down with him and ask him.
Warm hands found their way around me and I cuddled into that person. I looked up to find very dark blue eyes looking at me from under thick eyebrows and full lashes. His eyes seemed concerned and I knew he was being very cautious with me. He was offering me his support while letting me lead the way. I was a wounded deer caught in headlights.
I ran a hand through his thick black hair and deemed he needed a haircut soon. I liked weaving my fingers through the locks, but his hair had grown out so much in the last couple weeks that he had bangs and they were almost touching his eyebrows.
"After everything, how could you just be with Elena like that?" I asked cuddling into his neck. I knew this was wrong, but I just needed him. I needed answers and I couldn't just keep asking myself why like I was doing with Edward and Jake.
"It wasn't Elena and I know deep down, that you know that I am telling the truth. Katherine stopped by for a visit, I promise to explain it all when you wake up." He rubbed his nose against mine and it made me smile.
"I told Matt he and I should hangout more." I confessed, and a faint growl erupted in his chest. "Someone's jealous."
"I don't do jealous...and I can understand where you're coming from. So, go out with him, get it out of your system. Because sooner or later, you're going to find that you do not belong with a marshmallow like him." I laughed despite the anger in me.
"So, you're a vampire?" I barely got the words out before I fell asleep.
#*#*
I woke up a few hours later all alone.
I got out of bed, threw my pants back on and used the bathroom. I found my way downstairs where everyone was hanging out in the living room. I was surprised to find them laughing with each other and having a good time. I know I should want them to get along, but maybe I wanted them to hate each other a little longer. It was nice knowing I had friends on my side who knew where I was coming from and would protect me without questions.
But now, they were all hanging out, chatting away as if they were lifelong friends. All the Cullen's were there along with Jake, Phiona, and my new friends. I was so angry that Phiona was here, she had nothing to do with what was going on. I needed her gone or I was finally going to burst and maybe break. I was close to shutting down and just stop talking with all of them, I needed to clear my mind and find some peace of my own before I can even think of being nice to anyone.
"What's going on?" I asked walking over to Matt and hugging him. He placed a soft kiss on the top of my head. He was sitting away from everyone and not really making contact.
"Damon wanted to make ground rules so he invited everyone here. The doctor is curious about how different they are so for the last hour they've been comparing each other." He whispered in my ear, making me shiver. "I swear they are like children, trying to see who is bigger and deadlier."
It made me sad that I could feel so much for the bad boy but when it came to the good guy, all I felt was friendship. But for my own sanity I needed to try this. Edward's head snapped up and his eyes bore into mine. It was like he heard what I said.
"So, conclusions?" I asked out loud, I knew the differences, but I wanted to hear it out loud.
"The Cullen's are ice cold and their skin remind me of marble. We are warm and can easily be harmed. The Cullen's all have the same colored eyes while we all have our original colors. Some of the Cullen's have a unique gift like Damon. The Cullen's constantly crave blood and if they bite someone they inject a lethal venom. We on the other hand can curb our hunger and we can safely bite humans along with giving them our blood to heal them if needed." Caroline said in a bored voice.
"Thanks" I said. "So, the Cullen's would last longer in a fight, but they wouldn't do so well fitting in which makes then more vulnerable in a way."
"No problem. I think this whole comparing thing is cool and all but it's also boring. Well just put it that the Cullen's are better at protecting people because of their skin and the pixies visions. We're better because we can easily save people." She said, and I agreed. "I mean unless your like Damon and then he's just as dangerous as the Cullen's with the things he can do."
I wanted to know what kind of things he could do but I knew I wouldn't get answers right now. I would have to wait until later when we were alone to find out.
"But the facts remain that I don't want you here. I was doing fine until you came along and now my life's a mess again. Don't get me wrong, I'm over the moon to see most of you again, but didn't you think how I would feel?" I sat on the arm of the couch next to Bonnie.
"You know we wouldn't have come if it wasn't important? Bella, your life is in danger! How could we just stand by and let you die?" Alice asked looking at me with sad eyes and it nearly broke my heart. "We already failed you once, I don't want to let it happen again."
"I know you care about me...but I still need time. I'm just figuring out my life and I can't have you here while I do it." I looked at the floor, I just could look in her eyes. I knew it was hurting her to send her away. But I was doing better without them here and I didn't want to be the scared insure little girl I was before.
"Well we're not leaving...but we will stay out of your way." Edward said glaring at Damon who was smirking. "We'll all be attending the college, but we won't purposely be in your classes." He was still glaring so I stepped in the way. "Love..."
"Don't call me that. You lost all privileges when you dumped me...in the woods...knowing how much I loved you. And the others I don't mind so much, it's you. If you see me in class, stay the hell away from me. Don't talk to me, don't come near me. Don't even tell people we know each other, stay away from me Edward and find someone else to bother. Let someone else be your singer, because I am not interested"
Gasp rung through the air and mixed with a few chuckles, especially Emmett's.
"Damn Bella, finally backbone, I love it. I wonder what else has changed!" He received a slap from a smiling Rosalie. "Ouch" he whined before looking thoughtful again.
"What did you mean you said "a gift like Damon"?" Carlisle asked Caroline. She looked sweetly at him before looking at Damon and getting a nod from him.
"After a while of living off human blood, Damon can change animal forms." Carlisle looked thoughtful, Emmett looked awestruck, Edward glared, Jasper looked curious, Rosalie looked disgusted, and Alice seemed unmoved as if she already knew. "If he drinks a lot of human blood than he can control the weather, but not much that I've seen."
"That is remarkable, I have so many questions."
"And I'll be happy to talk more with you about it at another time. Right now, I think we all need some food, I am starving" He was smirking then laughed as Edward crouched. "Chill sparkles, no need to get jealous."
"I don't feed him, and his food will never know what happened." I said as if it was an everyday thing to say. "That's one of the good thigs from these vamps, is that I know I will always be safe with them. Unless I starve them, they will never attack me without provocation. I think before I go home, there is one last story I want to hear." I said as I bore my eyes into Damon's bent head. I sent all my love to Jasper, so he knew I didn't mean what I said to him, but to Edward. I wanted to hurt him so much and I knew those words would cut deep.
The thing I was more upset about was that even though I could move on from Edward, a part of me will always love him and he knew it. I think if he pushed hard enough, I would eventual fall at his feet. I did want him to leave me alone and stop bothering me for a while, while I got used to the idea of him being around again. Maybe if I gave him a real final goodbye instead of the one he gave me, then we could put everything behind us and start fresh. I would want nothing more than to forget the way he left me and if we could replace that bad memory with a good one, then I don't think I would hate him as much.
Damon slowly looked at me and began talking.
"I was born on June 18, 1839, first born to Giuseppe Salvatore and Lillian Salvatore in what would eventually become Mystic Falls. I was rebellious, carefree, independent, troubled, insecure, misunderstood, principled, impulsive, competitive, and irresponsible. My own father would call me cowardly. That's only because I rebelled against my father's wish, by leaving the Confederacy on my terms during the time of the Civil War.
When it came to love, I was always the cat, who appeared to be harder to get and challenging with women, especially to Katherine. I also had womanizing tendencies with the opposite sex. My father and I never got along or had a good, close relationship and he frequently expressed extreme disappointment and resentment in me.
I was very close to my brother Stefan and we had a very close bond, he was my best friend. When Katherine came into our lives, our relationship became strained and we started to compete for her affections; she played us both.
I was turned into a vampire in 1864, at the ripe old age of 25 years old, after drinking Katherine's blood willingly then shot by my own father after attempting to save Katherine from being buried in the tomb. I had loved Katherine deeply and recklessly, regardless of the consequences. When Stefan told our father that Katherine was a vampire, it resulted in Katherine being trapped and taken to a church to be burned.
After becoming a vampire, I left Stefan. I couldn't stand the idea of spending forever alone on Earth. I also kept the fact that Katherine was still alive from Stefan. I was so jealous that my brother had also been turned by her. I wanted to die rather than take an innocent person's life, but instead I survived. I survived so I could find Katherine and torture Stephan at the same time.
I spent eighty years away from him.
In 1953, an old friend of mine and I were both captured and tortured by the Augustine society for scientific purposes. Enzo got an idea to free us, however on the night when we executed the plan, I accidentally started a fire and was unable to free Enzo from a vervain-coated cell. I turned off my humanity to escape the pain of leaving Enzo behind. I haven't seen his since that day and I could only hope that he made it out alive and well.
'til this day I can be described as arrogant and sarcastic. I used people as my personal playthings. I hurt Caroline and I killed Vicki. I even killed the high school's football coach to prove that my humanity was gone. I am very self-destructive can have a very sadistic mind. The whole time I am killing people, I kept wanting to free Katherine. Freeing her was my motivation to kill and be angry with the world, especially my brother.
In 1994, I even went so far as to killing our nephew Zach and his wife Gail. Of course, I didn't kill Zach until years after Gail, but still. He had invited me into the Salvatore Boarding House for the first time and I was angry so I…" He paused for a minute and turned from me to look into the fire place.
"Say the words Damon" Stephan said through clenched teeth. I knew this was a touchy subject for them.
"Gail was pregnant. And I was so sadistic that I fed on her and then murdered her and the child. I was angry and wanted revenge for Stephan breaking my neck in a middle of a party. When I woke up I killed most of the guests in the party after Stephan left. When Stephan returned, I killed Gail right before his eyes." There was a collective gasp from mostly everyone. The rational part of me wanted to hate him and to tell him I never see him again but the murdering guy in this story was not the same Damon I knew.
"When I found out that Katherine was never in the tomb, but walking around free, I was shattered. So, I made my way to the bar and got hammered. So, hammered that I admitted to Alaric that I was the one who killed his wife, Isobel. After that, I turned my darling brother, back into a killer again and watched as he went off the deep end. But being the nice guy that I am, I helped Elena detox him.
I killed Jeremy a few weeks after that. I had been so angry that Katherine didn't want me, but Stephan. Then I told Elena I did care deeply for her, but she rejected me too and I just had enough of everyone choosing Stephan over me. spending many weeks afterwards trying to make it up to Elena, showing true regret for his actions.
About 3 months later, I killed Alaric, who I am great friends with now. You wouldn't believe me if I told you, but Ric and I spend a great deal of time together just hanging out. I was so relieved when his ring brings him back to life. That same night I fed from Caroline's father, and, after a very violent fight with Caroline, Elena came to see me. We made up and I swore to protect her for the rest of her life.
We have been on somewhat good terms since then. I helped Ric and Jenna fall in love and get married. I encouraged Bonnie and Jeremy to start dating. My life is changing for the better and I haven't killed anyone for fun in 6 months. That's a record for me.
Look I was a hurt boy who had a lot of growing up to do. Yes, I am dark and dangerous, but I promise I won't ever intentionally hurt you Bella."
I turned to look at Matt before grabbing my purse and heading for the front door. I knew I was hurting him by not saying anything. But what could I say when he just admitted to being a cold blooded killer. I what he did was all in the past, but I still needed time to process everything. I would have to think about everything and make sure I knew where I was going in life and with who.