HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVA.
Apologies. I'm sitting in the public library to update this. We had an internet outage at our house and it's not expected to be repaired till at least Monday.
Damon takes the drink that the flight attendant offers then leans back in his seat to stare out the window. Acres and acres of land resemble a giant jigsaw puzzle from 30,000 feet, it always feels surreal to him to be higher than cloud level.
He takes a sip and then clutches it in his hands on his lap, letting his mind drift. What in the hell is he doing anyway? After running into Enzo, he felt such an overpowering urge to see his Uncle Zach, one that he was simply powerless to deny.
He doesn't even begin to know what path this quest will lead him on or where it will end, the only thing he understands right now is that it's something he's compelled to do. His reverie is broken when he sees the seat belt light begin to flash out of the corner of his eye. He quickly swallows back what's left in the drink and then buckles up, holding on till he feels the familiar, yet still stomach lurching jolt of the wheels touching down on the runway.
He has a forty five minute layover in Atlanta before his next flight departs for Richmond. Once he's inside the terminal, he looks for his departing gate and after finding it, he goes in search for something to eat. When he sees a McDonalds, he gets in line to order himself a Big Mac meal and a soda. As soon as he has his food, he goes back to his flight's seating area to eat while waiting for the announcement to board his connecting flight.
After he finishes his lunch, he pulls out his phone to let his uncle know that he's coming and to see if Zach can pick him up or if he needs to rent a car. Swallowing thickly, he presses the his icon, a picture of the two of them, smiling happily for Elena.
"Hello?"
"Uncle Zach, hi, it's Damon."
"Damon? It's been... a long time. How are you?"
"I find myself in need of a little down time so I thought I'd come for a visit... unless of course that's a problem?"
"You know me better than that, Damon. You're always welcome in my home."
"I don't want to impose."
"Stop that... What time is your plane due to land so I can be there to pick you up?"
"I'm in Atlanta, my flight should be boarding any minute now. It's scheduled to arrive in Richmond around eleven, you know, time change and all."
"Alright, I'll be there. We'll talk then. Goodbye, Damon."
Damon clicks off his phone and takes a breath. Although he knows he should call Vanessa, he's in no mood to talk to her. Still he won't be able to delay it forever. One way or another, he'll eventually have to tell her what's troubling him but how can he tell her when he doesn't even know himself?
Aside from his work, the reason he flew to Los Angeles in the first place was to end his marriage. He was under the impression that they would say a few words to each other and then she'd sign the papers. Actually it was foolish to think anything involving them together could ever be simple.
And now... he doesn't know up from down, right from left and his mind won't shut off, it feels naked, like a wintery wind blustering in icy chaos. He doesn't know what he's doing or why, he just knows there's something gnawing at his insides that won't let up and he needs some answers. There are days when it would be a blessing not to feel at all.
His thoughts drift back to his uncle. He hasn't actually seen him since their honeymoon. Other than the yearly Christmas and birthday card, he hasn't had any contact with him. It's just that with everything going south in his life, he didn't feel like having to explain everything, about Elena or their daughter... he still feels a lump in his chest when he thinks about her.
He wouldn't blame Zach at all if he were to slam the door in his face and give him the cold shoulder. But Zach isn't that kind of a man...
He shoves his phone back in his pocket when they're told to line up to board the plane. Not quite two hours later, he's waiting in a lounge near the luggage carousel assigned to his flight. He only has a carry on bag but he figured it would be an easy place for Zach to find him. After setting his drink down, he looks up just in time to see his uncle looking around. He drops a few coins on the bar top and then approaches Zach. The older man gives Damon a searching look followed quickly by a warm hug.
It's a little astounding to Damon that at thirty four years old, he feels like a little boy who would come here to escape the melodrama going on at home. He loved to absorb the sense of freedom that being with Zach allowed. Being in his uncle's arms, it's not a bad feeling at all, actually it feels good, really good. When they part, Zach smiles and the two of them start moving towards the parking garage.
"Good to see you, Damon."
"I'm really sorry that I didn't give you more warning, it was kind of an impulsive decision, I hope it's not a bad time."
Zach starts the car and carefully drives out of town. "It's not. You know me, Damon, I never have more guests than I can manage and there will always be a room available for you. But you're right, it's been a long time, a very long time."
"I..., I know uncle Zach, I've been busy. Life got sort of crazy. We..., Elena and I are no longer together and..."
"Yes Damon, I know all about it. There is no baby and Elena's back in Hollywood making her movies."
Damon says nothing but nods. This is not going to be easy.
Damon's eyes widen when Zach makes the turn that leads to the boarding house. Even in the darkness, he can see the big imposing structure looming in the distance. He's surprised when he feels his heart start to stammer. So many memories, really good ones reside in the walls of the old building. It gets closer and closer till Zach turns into the circular driveway and stops the car in front of the main entrance. He shares a look with his uncle when he lifts Damon's bag out of the trunk. After handing it to him, they walk into the house.
Damon gives him a nod and jogs up the stairs to his room. The first thing he does is plop down on the bed. As his eyes drift around the room, his eyes nearly pop out of his head when he sees a picture of himself and Elena laughing while he tries to help her mount a horse. Zach must have taken it without his knowledge. Taking a breath, he stands up and walks over to the dresser to have a closer look.
His breath catches in his throat when he wispily runs his fingertips over her face. So many memories, so many good memories flood his mind. Soon it becomes too much, his heart starts to slam against is ribs evoking an overwhelming urge to run.
He sets it down and nearly leaps into the bathroom to shower and change. After putting his things away, he goes downstairs to join Zach in the kitchen. It's late but neither is really tired. They share a simple dinner, scrambled eggs and toast... like old times. Zach excuses himself, returning in a few minutes with a bottle of red wine from the cellar.
He pours them each a glass and after Damon takes a sip, he finally finds the courage to ask. "Aren't you even going to ask me about her?"
"I don't need to ask, Damon. I know all about Elena. She drops me a nice letter from time to time. I know that you're not interested in movies and show business but are you aware that she won a Golden Globe and an Oscar nomination? She was simply amazing, brilliant in that role. The movie, it was something, I'm still stunned by her performance. It felt pretty good to see my niece receive so many accolades. She earned them but as far as being my niece.. not for much longer?" he eyes Damon contemplatively.
Damon would gladly say something, anything but he seems to have lost his voice.
"They were here last year," Zachary adds, refilling their wine glasses.
"What? Like, here with you?" he looks at him in shock.
Zach can't help but laugh. "Yes, they came to visit. They stayed a week as my guests here at the boarding house. I guess she wanted to show Enzo around. I suppose they get tired of the big city, luxury house and beaches. It's nice to return to your roots once in awhile. You should find the time to relax sometimes too, Professor."
Damon feels sick.
"How...," he has trouble looking for words and needs to start again. "Why would she do that, come here, I mean, keep in touch with you...?"
"Do you really want me to answer that?"
Damon nods, although he's not sure he really wants to hear the answer.
"In my opinion, Damon... she was still waiting for you. And I was her only connection to her "nutty professor." This place, as simple and remote as it is, may very well have been the only place where you two were truly happy. Does that sound feasible to you?"
"But... she was with Enzo..."
"And?" Zach raises his brow. "You are with that Vanessa girl... Does being with that woman mean you're free of her?"
He's nowhere near drunk enough for this conversation.
Elena's in love. For the first time in her life she feels like she could fly. The butterflies in her belly are always present whenever she thinks about something he said or when she imagines his face. They let her know that this wonderful thing she's experiencing is not just good sex or a schoolgirl crush. Rather it's a schoolteacher instead, she sports a crazy smile at her last thought. He's a bit older but not that much and he takes her places, shows her things and tells her so much about art, so much more than she ever knew before.
She's having fun for the first time since her mother's tragic accident. It feels like she's found a long lost friend because he talks about art and history as her mom did. He's passionate about what he loves and he's passionate about her, she can feel it. He's unable to think straight when she's close and she's enjoying every minute of it. Although it's true that he still struggles when it comes to choosing between her and his work, she knows that she's winning. The feeling is so unlike anything she's ever felt. It's magical, beautiful, it's like falling through the looking glass.
It's been six weeks since she met him, five since they ended up in his hotel room... and a full seven since the last time she... Her heart starts beating faster, for few moments it feels like she can't take a breath. This isn't possible. They've been careful or...? The one or two time they didn't use a condom, she was still on the pill. She frantically searches her hand bag for her organizer so she can be sure but she's pretty certain of what she'll find. She's three weeks late.
Now what is she going to do? There's no way she can simply walk into a drugstore without anyone noticing. She loves her career but it does have its drawbacks too, like now. Normally she would simply ask Enzo but in this case, it would be too weird. She doesn't have many girlfriends that she keeps in touch with... still... Eventually she asks April, her young neighbor. She agrees and returns a short time later with the test in her hand. She's kind of enough to sit with Elena while the minutes tick down till her cellphone alarm goes off. When they check it, she's not at all surprised to see a plus sign.
"What am I going to do?" Elena is in shock.
"You're going to tell him and see what he has to say. He's a professor, I hope he'll be rational and responsible. And then you're both going to have to figure it out."
"Thank you, April." The young gal gives her a gentle hug then leaves Elena alone with her thoughts.
Elena calls Damon, asking him to dinner. She tells him over dessert. He's caught off guard, she can tell, but promises to come over the next day so they can decide what they're going to do. The same evening she tells Enzo, he's been her best friend and confidant for a few years now.
"Tell me what YOU want to do, Elena...?"
"I know it's sudden, unexpected, shocking and I still have a good portion of the movie to shoot but I think I can do it."
"With or without your professor?"
"I want the baby, Enzo. Giving it up is not an option even if Damon..." she doesn't finish, the thought is too painful to voice. She's not exactly sure what his decision is going to be, she's well aware that it's a complication for both of them.
Enzo nods slowly and gives her a reassuring smile. "Alright, we're doing this, if this is what you want."
Damon turns out to be a true gentleman. When she tells him the same thing she told Enzo the day before, Damon drops to one knee and pulls out a ring that fits perfectly on that finger. Elena's to stunned to respond but she shakes her head vigorously and buries her face against his chest.
"I love you..." she tells him and Damon returns the sentiment. She's so incredibly happy that nothing can possibly ruin her mood tonight.
Damon spends a few really relaxing days at uncle Zach's and not for the first time wonders, why the hell doesn't he come here every year. Because he rarely takes vacations. But maybe he can come for Christmas. Snow, pretty lights, decorated trees, caroling, and the small town atmosphere, it almost sounds like heaven to him.
Would Vanessa like it here? He almost chokes at the thought. It somehow feels... wrong, terribly wrong to even consider bringing her here. He called her on Saturday morning to tell her he wouldn't be coming home this weekend. He lied again, spinning a tale about unexpected business popping up. He's at a loss to understand why he's doing anything lately but he simply couldn't tell her that he's in Virginia.
On his last evening in paradise he finally finds the courage to tell Zach the real reason why he needed to fly here, how he can't get the dream of their honeymoon out of his head and more reluctantly what Elena accused him of.
"She told you that she believes that you never loved her? Was she wrong?"
"Seriously? What's wrong with you people?" Damon blurts out, raking his hand through his hair. He takes a long pull from his tumbler and then turns on Zach, "Who, I mean what do you think I am? A monster?"
"Relax, son. I may be your uncle, one who is far removed from all of this but what I do know is, you can be an annoying and self-absorbed intellectual aka egghead," Zach jokes, the corners of his mouth lifting in mirth.
Damon swallows thickly and his lips part but no words escape.
"Damon...," his uncle starts again after the moment of levity. Seeing the fallen look on his nephew's face, he pats the top of his hand. "You are a good person. You're more fun than anyone else in our family. But sometimes... you miss the things that matter. Life doesn't revolve just around you and there are things that matter to others too, important things. And forgive me for saying this but there are times I've seen you act just as snobbish as the rest of your family."
Damon opens his mouth to defend himself, but Zach raises his hand to stop him. "Okay, okay, tell me, why did you come here for your honeymoon?"
"We wanted an escape, to be ourselves without having to worry about the press... You knew that, they follow Elena everywhere. I wanted to give her some peace and quiet."
"Was it her idea or yours?"
"Mine, obviously, but she was happy about it, she said she was. She wanted to meet you."
"Was it before she met your parents and sister?" Zach asks, looking rather dubious.
"Um..., she didn't actually meet them. Don't look at me like that Zach. We kept our wedding a secret for a reason. I didn't feel any need to stress her out by introducing her to mother and Katherine. You know how they are. They would have chewed her up and spit her out in the first five minutes. And I haven't seen my father in a long time, you know that too."
Zach holds his breath, "You mean, you didn't introduce her to your family? Before the wedding?"
"No, she's never met them. Everything happened so fast and then... she... and things just fell apart after that."
"For someone as smart as you are..." he shakes his head, taking a swallow of his own drink. "You don't give her enough credit, Damon. Elena is a strong determined woman. How did she get along with your friends... and colleagues?"
Damon rolls his eyes, "What do you think she'd talk with my colleagues about? She knows Ric, he's my best friend and the most fun. I mean, I think they got along pretty well. Ric was even a bit scared of her at first, it was fun to watch..." Damon falls silent when he sees his uncle's face. "What?"
"You are telling me, you married her in secret just because she was pregnant, never told your family or your friends except Ric, brought her here to your only non academic relative so she could feel equal? Very romantic Damon, every woman should feel so special," he replies, his voice laced with sarcasm. "It's really ironic, Damon, because Elena is pretty special and quite frankly, she deserved better from you."
"I have no idea what you want me to say? I did love her, I loved her, I wouldn't have married her if I didn't, not even for the baby. I tried to make it easier for her."
"Or for yourself? Please tell me you told her how you felt."
"Of course I did. several times actually."
Zach shakes his head. "Okay Damon, name me three of her movies."
"I don't know any of them. She broke my heart when she left with Enzo. I ... I tried to bury her, I guess. I didn't want to see her or hear her voice. I didn't want to talk to her and I certainly didn't want to see her beautiful face in technicolor on a giant movie screen. It hurt too damn much, it still does."
Damon struggles to take a breath when he feels his heart squeeze painfully. He pours himself another glass full of bourbon and swallows it down quickly, savoring the familiar burn. Then he turns back to his uncle, adding rather softly, "I don't watch movies, not just hers, any movies."
"I know you don't. But that's who she is. Does she know your book titles? Did she go to your lectures or some of your academic events?"
"I suppose, she knew about the last one. Occasionally, a few times maybe? I don't want or need the kind of publicity that is part and parcel of who she is. It's art history, not celebrity Jeopardy."
Damon stops talking when it finally dawns on him what that dream was actually telling him. It's his fault, he made her feel unimportant. Why didn't she say something? He was a bloody idiot to think he couldn't do better as a husband. Zach watches the consternation on Damon's face and thinks the foolish boy finally got the point.
"I... I did this. I never gave her enough credit. I never gave us a chance."
Zach pats his shoulder. "I'd really like to tell you that everything is going to be alright, Damon. But you see, you needed to feel the impact, the wallop so hopefully this illuminating moment will make you a more understanding person. I will admit that I think Elena should have told you how she was feeling but she didn't and we can't turn back the clock."
"Zach, I was so stupid."
"I'll repeat myself, Damon, you're a good man, that's why Elena fell in love with you in the first place. But you needed some tough love here. So just maybe the next time you try, you might actually be successful in this relationship thing."
Zach gets up and disappears into his room, leaving Damon to dwell on the unending inventory of his past indiscretions.
Damon lays in bed staring at the ceiling. He hears the clock's incessant tick, tock, tick, tock as each second ticks by. It's his last night in Virginia. It's endless and yet he can't bring himself to regret even a minute of it. He feels sick inside when he really considers how Elena must have felt, standing by his side when he was so aloof and unconcerned about what she needed.
No matter the outcome, he knows with utmost certainty what he has to do and who it is that still holds his heart. How could he have ever forgotten where it truly lies?
Heart break is a funny thing, it leaves invisible scars, yet they can be traced by the most gentle of touches. Its power is underestimated. Hearts shouldn't be crushed, they should be cherished and protected, he wishes someone would have told him that. He remembers all too well how much it hurt when she walked out of their place with Enzo that night.
And the loneliness, it breaks the heart into a thousand scattered little pieces and right now the broken part of his misses hers, her face and the way her eyes smile, he misses everything.
He also knows that he probably deserves the cold shoulder that his uncle may give him in the morning. But Zach is a better man than he is. He won't turn his back on his family.
Uncle Zach is how he's always been. When Damon comes downstairs, he gives him a warm smile and a big mug of coffee. The thick slice of bread with butter and honey is a bonus. Once again Damon feels like the little boy who loved it here so much. Yes, he certainly did forget how magical this place feels.
After breakfast he packs his things and Zach starts the car to take him to the airport.
"So, Damon, will I see you before a handful of years have passed again?"
"I think so. I'll be in touch, you have my word."
Zach nods and Damon thinks he looks satisfied.
"I saw Enzo, you know? Before I left LA. At the airport, hand in hand with a girl who wasn't Elena. He's having an affair."
"And how is that your business?"
"That's exactly what he said to me!"
Zach gives him a pointed look. "And?"
"I'm making it my business. In the space of forty eight hours, everything that was important to me now seems meaningless if I can't share it with her. I'm going to get her back," he pauses, swallowing what's left in his coffee mug.
"Don't look at me like that, Zach, I'm not naïve, I know she may slam the door in my face and I'd deserve it but I can't not try, it's Elena."
A few moments of heavy silence follows after his announcement, he's not even sure how something like that could have left his mouth. Is he serious?
"I don't want to be a downer, Damon but I don't know if you can. If you want my humble opinion, honestly... scaling Everest might be easier."
"Why would you say that?"
"Because, you have already given her the one thing she had been waiting for, for years now... Closure.
Zach gave Damon a little tough love but it was necessary. He's going back to LA determined...
Eva and I want to thank you all so very much, we're awed and grateful for your reviews, follows and favorites. You surprise us and inspire us to keep writing stories.
Thank you to the anonymous reviewers as well. I cannot respond to you personally. This story is written in its entirety but because of my career schedule, my family, I'm just not able to update every day.
Thank you Eva. You're the best, I love you.
Chapter title: 'Jagged Little Pill' by Alanis Morisette.
"The Children's Blizzard" is in progress. I hope to start posting "Welcome to the Jungle" when it's completed.
Many dear friends have stories in progress. Mariah April May, Florencia7 has written many brilliant DE stories. JustiniaKorax, Salvatoreboys4ever, TheLittle MissVixen, Short on words, VitsAsh, Deepwater1978, StarlightSo and Amazing Aisha are among so many others who are helping to keep Damon and Elena alive and well and prospering through their stories.
Be safe and have a fantastic day. Thank you all.