Nesta wanted to slump to the table and sleep for forever. The dinner following the ceremony had left her tired, barely maintaining conversation. Elain was chatting animatedly with Lucien and Mor, Feyre laughing at something Rhysand said, and Amren was examining the jewels of a particularly sparkly guest.
Nesta nearly jumped out of her seat when she felt something brush her leg. Confused, she peeked under the table cloth, holding in her gasp when she saw Cassian looking skeptically behind him. She yanked her foot back from beneath his hand and kicked him hard in the arm.
He grabbed her ankle, peering up at her at last. "Oh, I though you were Mor." He mumbled something about fancy shoes and looked back over his shoulder.
"What the hell are you doing?" Nesta whispered harshly, trying to kick him again, but he had a solid grip on her ankle, his callouses sending shivers up her leg.
"Az and I are hiding from Nisha."
"You're acting like a child."
"It's more fun than acting like an adult." He gave her a crooked grin.
"Let go of me," she hissed.
His thumb stroked the flesh on the inside of her joint, sending a jolt through her body. "But you're so soft." He leaned forward, pressing his lips to her bare knee.
She kicked him solidly in the middle of his chest, cursing. Then she stood abruptly from her chair, marching away before he could grab her again.
She found Nisha peeking under a different table, this one only containing a few confused looking people. "Psst," Nesta whispered. Nisha looked up with wide eyes that were a startling violet. Nesta pointed to her table. "One of them is over there."
Nisha nodded. "I know. He's not very good at this game."
Or she was particularly good at this game, Nesta thought, noting the way the girl scanned the curtains and the guests.
"I'm looking for Az," Nisha went on, her small voice suddenly serious, "he always wins, but I won't let him this time."
"Good luck," said Nesta as hopefully as she could. She went outside to where the grass was waiting for her, for there was no one really for her to talk to. Both of her sister's were chatting happily with their lovers and she was stuck here. All alone.
She debated just leaving. Feyre wouldn't care. Elain would, but she'd understand. There was nothing for Nesta in the place, among these people.
She was about to walk to her car when she heard the glass door open behind her.
"I'm sorry," Cassian said, "about under the table."
But Nesta was already striding away, spinning her keys on a finger.
He slid smoothly in front of her, blocking her path. "It's your sister's wedding, you're really leaving early?"
"Yes. Get out of my way."
"We're having a party tonight, after Feyre and Rhysand leave for their honeymoon. You should go."
"Absolutely not."
"You won't even consider-"
"I need you to understand something," Nesta said slowly. "I am here for my sister because she wanted me to and it is one of the kind things I can do for her. I am not here for you or any of your circle. After I leave here tomorrow, I never want to see any of you again. You especially. You are loud and obnoxious and uncaring and I hope that you provide my sister with something helpful, because it seems like all you can do is make someone give you a laugh out of pity."
Cassian stared, slack jawed. "You know nothing."
"I know enough. You are-"
"Do not," said a careful, dark voice from behind her, "belittle my own."
Nesta didn't have to turn to know it was Feyre. She stepped beside Cassian, dress swirling almost whimsically. "You don't know anything about my family and you have no right to spit venom at them just because you don't have a family of your own. I offered you this, they were all willing to respect you, to grow with you. But I will not have you degrading them when you know so little. You are my sister, yes, but they are family."
Nesta would have flinched but she was too frozen. "Feyre-" she croaked.
"Does it ever get exhausting, Nesta, constantly holding those walls up?"
Cassian was looking hard at some spot on the wall behind him. Vaguely, Nesta was aware of other people coming out the doors. Of Rhysand taking Cassian's other side. Of Elain quietly looking at her feet. Of Azriel swearing beneath his breath.
But when Cassian finally looked at Nesta, she couldn't help the shame inside her. She slipped away, despite Elain's protests, and left.