It was around three A.M. when she awoke. There was no reason, no sound or light to show why. The temperature had dropped even more, cold seeping in and wrapping around her like a restless lover.
Nesta opened her eyes slowly to the dark room, the night animals shifting quietly outside. It was only then that she realized she was being watched.
Cassian sat on the floor at the foot of the bed, his arms folded over the mattress as he stared at her with a predator's intent. A shiver ran up her spine.
"Sorry," he whispered, "you were talking in your sleep and I… ."
Nesta held out her hand, waiting for him to take it.
He stood frozen.
She wiggled her fingers. "Will you lay with me?"
Cautiously, he took her hand, his fingers trembling slightly. "Why?"
"You make me warm."
Through the dark, she saw a slight tint in his cheeks. "You're tired. You're not thinking straight."
"Please," she begged, because she was so tired and so cold.
She pulled hard on his hand to show her that she was indeed awake. Cassian bit his lip as he crawled over her, settling at on his back beside her. He was staring at the ceiling.
Still with her hand in his, twisted around her waist, she tugged him closer until he lay on his side, his body stiff against hers. She ran her hand up his forearm, feeling the corded muscle there, and closed her eyes. He relaxed into her frame, sliding closer until they were lined up against each other.
Nesta blew out a breath and the cold was swept away. She fell asleep to the feeling of Cassian's hand in hers.
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X
The sun was up but the barn was still dark. Cassian tried to keep his breathing even so not to wake the sleeping beauty in his arms. She had shifted so she was half-way on top of him, her head on his chest. Her hair was fanned out across his neck, the silken strands tickling and teasing his skin. She'd wrapped her arm around his waist, gripping him hard, and her legs tangled in his. Her shirt had ridden up a few inches, showing off the bit of pale skin where his hand rested.
She smacked her lips, dislodging the trail of drool that had begun. She shifted, running her nose across his bare chest. He went stiff.
Cassian sucked in a sharp breath when she opened her eyes. Eyes that he would have fought a million wars for. And her generous breasts-that he currently eyed as they swelled out of her sweater-of course, but that wasn't as important.
"Good morning, sweetheart," he whispered.
She closed her eyes again, a slight smile curving on her lips.
His breath left him completely.
She murmured, "So warm."
He angled his head so he could kiss her hair, breathing in her scent of book pressed flowers. "We should get up."
She mumbled something, burying her face further into his chest. His heart thundered wildly. Then her eyes opened again, lashes brushing his skin, and she blinked. Twice.
She sat up suddenly, gasping. "Your shirt."
He grinned. "I had it off when you told me to lay here."
"I didn't realize… ." She shook her head, crawling off of him. He was instantly met with a lack of warmth.
Taking the blanket with her, she hobbled off to the kitchen. Cassian sat up, watching her as she searched the cupboards for coffee grounds. It wasn't fair that someone be so beautiful, so intelligent, and so out of reach.
He slid, lazy as a cat, out of bed, flicking on the lights. He came up behind Nesta and, without preamble, scooped her, blanket and all, over his shoulder.
She shrieked in surprise. "What are you doing?" He felt her hand slap against his lower back.
"We're supposed to talk before you get out of bed so you're going back in bed."
"Why are we supposed to talk?"
"Because that's what they do in all the books." He set her down gently on the bed-shoved down the image of throwing her down and not letting her leave till she was moaning his name and quivering with pleasure.
Instead, he lay down beside her, propping his head on his hand. For possibly the first time, he saw her cheeks grow pink. He reached out and brushed his thumb along her cheekbone, closing his eyes at the feeling of her soft skin.
"I'm supposed to fly home today," she said softly.
He took her hand, kissing the tip of each of her fingers. "Stay."
Her delicate brows lowered. "I can't do that. I have school. I graduate with my masters this year."
"For business management?"
"I'm still disturbed at how much you asked Feyre."
He smiled. "You're fascinating." But he looked at the sheet between them and his smile fell. "I don't want to say goodbye to you." It was true-the more he learned about her, the more his chest clenched at the thought of her leaving.
Her lips twitched and his eyes snapped up. "You're laughing at me."
"I've never really had anyone miss me. It's new." She took her hand from his, folding both of hers in front of her.
"I have a spare bedroom up in Seattle. You could stay with me." He was pleading-begging, really-and he hated himself for it. They hadn't even kissed yet.
She raised a single, slow brow. "You're asking me to move in with you? On our first date?"
"You spent the night with me. I would have driven you back to the hotel if you'd asked."
"I know, but I was tired."
"You haven't asked to leave yet."
"The bed is comfortable."
"With me in it?"
She frowned. "You want me to stroke your ego."
"I want you to stroke other things, but we can start with my ego."
"Cassian."
"Nesta." He sang her name like a hymn. "At least let me kiss you before you go."
"What?"
He moved so her was hovering above her, her flushed chest rising and falling quickly against his. "I want to kiss you."
He could see it then, in her eyes, as if it were a physical thing, the slow lowering of barriers. He scrambled to fix his mistake. "Wait-wait. We can wait. We don't have to do anything you don't want to."
She looked down at his chin, avoiding his gaze. "I want a… relationship with you. But I'm not used to needing someone. I don't know if I can need someone."
Delicately, he lifted her chin with a single finger. "You don't have to need anyone beside yourself, that's not how love works. Maybe with time, we'll need each other. But wanting-wanting is just as precious. Wanting gives you room to move away and yet you stay. That is what is most important-staying."
He could see the wheels in her head turning. See it when she looked away like she didn't believe him.
He sighed, rolling away. Rubbing his face, he said, "I'll give you a ride to the airport."
Nesta twisted her hands in the sheet. "Thank you, Cassian."