November 2017 -Nine Months Previous

Saying goodbye was probably the easiest part of "dying" for Dick, and that's because he never actually had to say it. Yeah, he might've whispered it into the passing wind as it carried the sound across Gotham. He might've looked at an old photo and silently mouthed it. But never did he once actually say it.

Goodbye was easy. He didn't have to watch his family fall apart when they learned he'd never come back. When they realized he wouldn't be coming home with hugs and smiles anymore. When Alfred remembered how quiet the manor had become, and how it was before Dick had first arrived there. He didn't see Damian cry himself to sleep because not only had he lost his brother, but two Father figures as well. It'd only been a week and Bruce still hadn't left the cave. But Dick didn't have to watch any of that. He was dead.

He didn't have to watch because he knew. Before he even accepted the mission, he knew what it would do to them, and yet, here he was, trying to come back home. Nine months of being dead, nine months of non stop fighting, and he thinks he can just waltz back into their lives. Hopefully -hopefully- he doesn't have to say goodbye this time.

August 4th, 2018 -Entry One

I've decided to make these entries as I journey back into the land of the living. So far, Bruce still thinks I'm with Spyral working my mission. More importantly, he still thinks I'm dead. But I can't do it anymore. Tiger and I have taken down Spyral, and he now leads the organization. It's going well so far, and Tony thinks I should go back home, saying, "You still have a place to go back to Grayson, a family. You're not cut out for the spy life. Go home." So I'm taking his advice.

I'm coming home.

I really don't want everyone react to badly, but I know it's bound to happen. They shouldn't stay mad for long though, they're pretty forgiving. I think I'll visit them one at a time. Bruce first probably. Maybe it'll be like when Jason came back, minus all the death.

I know I've changed, probably not for the better, it was inevitable. I just hope everyone is willing to accept who I am now, and not crave the person I was in the past. I just want to come home. I'm sick of the fighting, of constantly looking over my shoulder. I'm tired. Just tired.

Tired.

That's all I have for this entry I think. Maybe these things will be useful one day. I could show Timmy I suppose, God knows he needs an outlet. It's a good way to sort out your mental state. A place where you can truly be honest with yourself.

Anyway, I'm rambling now. I'll make another entry after I talk with Bruce. It's probably not going to end well, but that was predictable. It is Bruce after all. The guy can't express or emote to save his life.

-Grayson

Don't worry, the next chapter is going to be a few thousand words long. I have a lot to tell in so little chapters.

It's a story that needs to be told, and told correctly, and that's what I plan to do.

Til next time,

Rachel