Rapunzel got up from her bed and went downstairs. It was seven AM, her usual waking time. Today didn't seem too special. Rapunzel began her usual morning lineup.
Suddenly, Rapunzel stopped. It had been exactly a year since her last birthday. Today she was fifteen years old!
"It's my birthday, Pascal!" Rapunzel told the chameleon. "Today the floating lights will appear! And I wonder if Mother will let me go outside to see them?"
Pascal shook his head.
"You're right, she probably won't," Rapunzel said. "But there's no harm in asking, is there?"
Just then, a call came from outside. "Rapunzel! Let down your hair!"
"Mother's home!" cried Rapunzel. She raced to the window. After throwing her hair down and letting her mother climb up, she said, "Do you know what today is?"
"Hmm, well, I don't know… what is today?" asked Mother Gothel. She looked in the mirror. "Flower, Mother's feeling a little tired."
"Oh, of course," Rapunzel said, pulling the stool over to the chair Mother always sat in. She waited for Mother to get the hairbrush, then sat down on the stool.
Mother took Rapunzel's hair and began to brush it while Rapunzel sang her magic song. Rapunzel loved it when Mother brushed her hair. Of course, every day Rapunzel would brush her own hair, but it felt so much nicer when someone else did it for her.
Rapunzel was at the end of the song. "Thank you, Flower," said Mother. She put away the hairbrush, then asked, "Why do you want me to know what today is?"
"Well," said Rapunzel, "It's my birthday today..."
"Your birthday?" Mother Gothel interrupted. "No, it can't be your birthday. I distinctly remember your birthday being last year."
Rapunzel laughed. Mother had said that every year for as long as she could remember. "That's the thing about birthdays," Rapunzel said. "They happen every year."
"I know," said Mother. "I was just teasing. I didn't forget your birthday either. I got everything I needed for hazelnut soup while I was away."
"Thank you, Mother!" cried Rapunzel, giving her a hug.
Mother smiled and began walking to the kitchen.
Pascal crept out from behind Rapunzel's hair. He made a face and pointed to Mother Gothel.
"Don't worry, I'm going to ask her," Rapunzel whispered. Pascal hid again as Rapunzel walked up to Mother.
"If it isn't too much to ask..." began Rapunzel.
Mother turned around. "What is it, Rapunzel? Do you want something?"
"Well, yes," said Rapunzel. "I was wondering, if, um, maybe..."
Mother Gothel frowned. "Please stop the mumbling, Rapunzel, you know how I hate the mumbling."
"I'm sorry," Rapunzel apologized. She took a deep breath. "I want to see the floating lights," she said.
"What floating lights?" asked Mother.
"The ones that come out on my birthday each year," Rapunzel said.
"Oh, those floating lights," said Mother. "The stars."
"I'm not sure if they're stars, Mother," Rapunzel said. "They only come out on my birthday."
"Maybe they are special stars, then," Mother said. "But you see them every year, Flower. Why do you need to ask me?"
"Well, I want to go outside and watch them," Rapunzel said quickly. "I'm sure I would be able to see them better from outside."
Mother Gothel's expression had changed as soon as Rapunzel had said the word "outside". She said, "Rapunzel, you know I can't let you go outside. It's dangerous, remember?"
"Yes, Mother," Rapunzel said with a frown.
Mother Gothel smiled. "Cheer up, Rapunzel," she said. "If you want, I'll watch the stars with you tonight."
Rapunzel smiled, not minding that Mother had called them stars. "You would? Oh, thank you, Mother!"
Mother held out her arms and they shared a hug.
While Mother made the hazelnut soup, Rapunzel continued on her usual morning lineup. When she had finally finished, she brushed her hair and went to the kitchen.
"It's almost ready," said Mother Gothel when Rapunzel entered. "Just a few more minutes."
Rapunzel smiled and sat down, nearly bursting with anticipation. Hazelnut soup was her favorite, and Mother always made it for her on her birthday.
The soup was ready, and Mother took it to the table. Rapunzel sat down in her usual place, and Mother sat in hers. Mother had placed a bowl at each spot, and Rapunzel ate happily.
"Thank you, Mother," Rapunzel said after she had finished the bowl. "Hazelnut soup is my favorite!"
"I know," said Mother. "That's why I made it."
Rapunzel stood up and walked over to her mother. Mother stood up too, and they hugged.
"I love you," said Mother Gothel.
"I love you more," Rapunzel replied.
"I love you most," said Mother, stroking Rapunzel's hair.
That evening, after the sun went down, Mother and Rapunzel sat at the window. The lights began to appear in the distance, and Rapunzel sighed happily. It was such a beautiful sight. She laid her head on Mother Gothel's shoulder, and after a minute, Mother put her arm around Rapunzel.
They stayed like that for a long time, watching the lights. Rapunzel fell asleep after a while, and Mother continued watching the lights with Rapunzel sleeping by her side.
The next day, when Rapunzel woke up, she found herself tucked in bed.
Rapunzel awoke. She'd dreamed about her fifteenth birthday. She looked around, and saw with dismay that she was in her room in the castle.
Her first thought was to brush her hair, then remembered. She touched the ends of her short brown hair. Her hair was so short, it didn'tneed brushing. She missed the feeling of the hairbrush running through her long hair as she sang for Mother.
Rapunzel took a hairbrush anyways. She brushed through her short hair in one movement, and did it again and again. "Flower, gleam and glow, let your power shine," she sang. Tears came to her eyes when she sang the next verse. "Make the clock reverse, bring back what once was mine." A tear fell onto her nightdress as she continued. "Heal what has been hurt, change the fates design." More tears fell. "Save what has been lost, bring back what once was mine." Her voice choked up. "What once… was… mine."
Rapunzel collapsed into tears. No, it wasn't the same. The same motion over and over on her short hair was not at all like brushing the long, blonde locks she had once had. And singing the song had reminded her of Mother. She had also, for once, paid attention to the words instead of just singing without thinking. If only she could turn back the clock and bring Mother back.
A thought sprang to her mind. Today was her birthday. The thought brought her no happiness. A birthday without Mother.
A knock on the door brought her to reality. The door swung open, and in walked the queen.
"It's my birthday today," said Rapunzel.
The queen smiled. "I know! We're going to release the lanterns, I know how much you love them."
Rapunzel frowned. "But wasn't my birthday last year?" she asked hesitantly.
The queen looked at her with a confused look. "Of course you had a birthday last year," she said. "Don't you remember? That's when we finally found you." She looked happy. "Just think, we've had you back for an entire year."
Of course Rapunzel remembered. It had been a happy reunion with her long lost family, but soon after, she had found herself missing Mother. And she remembered the worst part, the part she tried not to think about. It had also been the day Mother died.
Rapunzel could still see Mother, old and white, pulling the cloak over her face to hide it from Rapunzel. She could still see Pascal pulling the brown hair, Mother tripping, Mother falling out the window. It was the most terrible moment of Rapunzel's life, and she hated thinking back to it.
She knew she was partly to blame for Mother's death. If she hadn't tried to heal Eugene, he wouldn't have cut her hair, and Mother wouldn't have died. She wished she would at least not have been angry at Mother when she died. She wished she had caught Mother before she fell. She wished…
She wished a lot of things. But her wishes wouldn't come true.
"Do you want to do anything else for your birthday?" asked the queen, breaking Rapunzel out of her thoughts.
Rapunzel shook her head. That was it, then. No I distinctly remember, your birthday was last year. She knew she shouldn't expect her real mother to be like Mother Gothel, shouldn't expect her to know what Rapunzel needed to hear. But she just couldn't stop expecting.
The princess put on a fake smile and stood up. She hoped her real mother wouldn't say I love you, because Rapunzel knew after I love you more, there wouldn't be I love you most. Rapunzel walked out of her room and went to the kitchens.
"What are you making?" she asked the head chef.
"Happy birthday, Princess Rapunzel," the chef replied. "We are making a big cake to celebrate your birthday, I hope you will like it."
Rapunzel kept the fake smile, but inside she was frowning. She didn't want a cake, all she wanted was… hazelnut soup.
"Would you be able to make… hazelnut soup?" Rapunzel asked tentatively.
The chef looked at her with a strange look. "I don't know how to make that," he said. "I've never heard of it."
Rapunzel frowned. "Oh," she said. "Well..." She stopped. She didn't know how to make it either. Mother had never taught her. Rapunzel, who had assumed Mother would be there forever, had never asked to learn how.
"I need to go," said Rapunzel. She ran to her room, which was empty now, and let the tears fall.
The hair was what kept Mother alive. It would have kept Rapunzel alive too, had it not been cut off. They could have very well kept on living together forever.
Oh, why had she acted the way she did? Mother had loved her, clothed her, fed her, and she'd thrown it all away. She realized she knew barely anything about Mother. How could she go on without knowing how to cook any of the meals Mother had made her? What if Mother had family? She would never know, just because she hadn't ever bothered to ask. All she had bothered to ask about were the lights.
Rapunzel had cried herself dry. She had no more tears left. She decided to leave her room again.
The birthday dinner they had made for her was lovely, delicious even, but there was no hazelnut soup. Afterwards, Rapunzel went up to her room and pulled back the curtain on the wall above the bed, revealing the painting she had made of Mother Gothel and Rapunzel.
"Mother, what do I do?" asked Rapunzel. "It's my first birthday without you. I feel so alone. Nobody understands me."
The painting just stared back, a lifeless, flat image of Mother. Rapunzel shook her head. It was only paint on the wall, how had she even thought for a minute that it would talk back?
"I love you," Rapunzel said.
Then she said, "I love you more."
"I love you most," Rapunzel finished.
Then she collapsed onto her bed, crying harder than ever.
Evening brought the floating lanterns. She stood with her parents, went through the motions of releasing the first lantern. The kingdom cheered, their princess was not lost anymore, but Rapunzel felt no happiness.
She sat in her room to watch the lanterns. Yes, they were beautiful, but they were just lanterns. Why had she thrown away her life with Mother just for some pretty-looking lights?
She had a sudden memory, clear in her mind, of sitting with Mother on her fifteenth birthday watching the lights appear in the sky. It really had been beautiful to watch them, far away, drift across the sky while the high mountains surrounding the valley the tower was in just stood there. And it had been even better with Mother there by her side.
Suddenly Rapunzel knew what she had to do. She sneaked out of the castle easily, since the guards were watching the light show, and began on foot to her tower. When she finally reached the vines covering the entrance, she pushed them aside and walked in.
The tower was just as she had left it a year ago. As she walked closer, she saw something at the bottom. Her heart tugged as she saw what it was. Mother Gothel's cloak, with a layer of dust inside. She knew it was not just an ordinary cloak cast aside. It was the one Mother had been wearing when she fell.
Curiously, Rapunzel touched it. She found it odd that there were no bones inside. Then she looked at the sky. The lanterns were floating there in the distance, as they had every year on her birthday.
Eugene's arrows were in the cracks between the stones of the tower. She pulled them out and began to climb the tower. It was very hard, and she nearly fell a few times, but she finally got to her window. She climbed in and looked around the room.
It was just as it had been when she left, aside from a layer of dust covering everything. She touched the long, long brown hair all over the floor that had been hers. Then she climbed the stairs to her room.
She saw all the paintings on the wall first. Each one reminded her of the time she had painted it. Then she looked down. There was her bed, covered with dust. She laid down on it, surprised at how familiar it still felt.
After she had finished looking around the tower, she went to the window. There were the lanterns, beginning to fade away. How she had wished to see them up close when she was younger. Now all she wanted was to go back to the time before she had.
Rapunzel turned around, looking back into the tower. Her real parents would be looking for her. She only hoped Eugene had forgotten where the tower was. She wanted to be alone. No, that was a lie. She wanted to be with Mother.
Rapunzel began crying silently. Tears fell from her eyes. She had hoped coming back would somehow make everything reset, go back to the way it had been. But being in the tower made her feel even sadder. She was back where she had wanted to be, but she would never have Mother Gothel back.
Maybe it was to comfort herself, or maybe it was for some other reason, but Rapunzel began singing her song. More tears fell as she sang, and a few more fell after she had finished the song. But she soon didn't feel sad anymore.
She imagined Mother Gothel saying, "I love you."
"I love you more," Rapunzel whispered.
And again, she heard in her mind, Mother saying, "I love you most."
She had fallen asleep in her bed in the tower. And her dream, unlike the memories that always made her sad, was of a happier future.
She saw a young girl, about four years old. She looked so much like Rapunzel, but there was also something else. She had long blonde hair that hung to her knees, and was wearing a purple dress.
"Mommy," said the girl. "Why can't I go outside?"
Rapunzel smiled. As she did, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Her hair was short and brown.
"Well, Flower," said Rapunzel, "outside is a sad, cruel place. It is better if you stay here with me."
The little girl frowned. "But you don't know what it's like, not being able to go outside."
"I know what it's like," Rapunzel said. "My mother told me not to go outside when I was young."
The girl asked, "Did you listen?"
Rapunzel shook her head. "No, I didn't, Sunflower. And because I didn't, I never saw my mother again."
"Oh," said the little girl. "What happened?"
Rapunzel sighed. "I wanted to see the lights."
Sunflower, the little girl, asked, "The same lights that come out every year on your birthday?"
"Yes," responded Rapunzel. "I didn't obey my mother and I left the tower to see them, and because of that, she… was gone forever."
"Mommy?" asked the girl.
"Yes, Sunflower?" Rapunzel said.
"Will you ever leave forever?" Sunflower asked worriedly.
"I hope I never do," Rapunzel said. "But if something happens and I'm not there, try to remember everything I teach you."
"Why?" wondered Sunflower.
"Because it will be very important to you," replied Rapunzel. "Before my mother was gone, she never taught me how to make hazelnut soup, my favorite, because she never thought I would be without her. But since I don't know how to make it, I can never taste it again."
Sunflower looked sad. "That's terrible!"
"Do you still want to leave the tower?" asked Rapunzel.
Sunflower shook her head. "No, Mommy, never!"
"Good," said Rapunzel.
Sunflower smiled. "Can I sing for you?"
"Yes, Flower," said Rapunzel.
Sunflower raced to the bedroom and got her hairbrush. Rapunzel smiled as she sat in the chair her mother had always sat in. Sunflower sat on the stool, and Rapunzel began brushing her hair.
"Flower, gleam and glow," began Sunflower. Her hair began to glow, and Rapunzel brushed it. She loved the feeling of brushing Sunflower's hair, since she couldn't really brush her own.
Afterwards, Sunflower stood up. She seemed to be waiting for something. Then Rapunzel knew what it was. She outstretched her arms, and Sunflower jumped into them.
"I love you," Rapunzel found herself saying.
"I love you more," Sunflower said in her adorable voice.
"I love you most," Rapunzel finished, kissing Sunflower on the top of the head and stroking her hair.
"I hope I've made you proud, Mother," she whispered. "I hope I'm raising her just like you raised me."
The pain and the empty place were still there. But they had lessened. Sunflower had partially filled the hole. Rapunzel held Sunflower tighter. Though she didn't have her mother, now she had her daughter.