A/N: I want to start by saying that I am at fault as a fanfiction writer, as so many people seem upset at Rick and Michonne, which is understandable. But the reason I've failed is I haven't explained well enough throughout the story, why things are the way they are.

I get that it has been slow and frustrating :D

Thank you to the people who have posted with positivity and have looked at all sides of this thing, and in their own way, have encouraged me to stick to what I originally imagined.

Chapter 8 is the one you NEED in your life.

"How you feeling man?" Shane sat in Rick's desk chair, bouncing a ball against the ground and peering at his friend. It had been two days since Lori had spun the break on him, and where he had thought Rick's eyes would be rimmed red, they were just glazed over. Like he was looking for something in a fog half-heartedly.

"Half-full." Rick replied, the optimist that he was.

And it was true. The whole thing was bittersweet. Like… imagine getting a thorn stuck in your thumb, and the only way to relieve yourself of the pain is to remove it. But that requires experiencing the pain of removing it, to then get the bliss of pain free-living. That's where Rick was.
It hurt because Lori was a familiarity.
His phone wasn't as active without her on it.
The instinct to check his phone in the morning and shrug off good morning texts because he knew they were coming, was ingrained in him so well that he sometimes would imagine the notification light.

But it hurt less than he expected. He had held his breath in the moment, looking over at her and wondering if she was joking. But when her lips stayed tight, and her eyes didn't flicker from his face, he knew she was serious.
Then he was thankful he wasn't the one who said it.
Then he was upset she thought about it in the first place.

What was he lacking in to make her think that way?

But it was stupid and a selfish thing to think and he knew it. Rick thought of the irony as he watched her leave, the hollow sound of his footsteps that echoed back up the stairs to his dorm where he sat on his bed to think and think and think of what this meant.

"You seem fine man." Shane said it just like he believed it.

It was a weird thing to have their afternoon free.

Today was some sort of important day for their university and so it meant that afternoon lectures were not scheduled.
Whilst Shane darted off, Sasha slept and Andrea remained to herself, Michonne found her way into Rick's room and had been twirling in his chair non stop for the last five minutes, trying to come up with something for them to do.

"We have the whole afternoon free and it's going to get dark soon – I hate the dark." She stated bitterly.
"You do?" Rick jeered, rolling over to look at her, the dim sunray catching the blue of his eyes that pooled like an ocean.
"Why'd you think I'm always up talking to you?" Michonne kneeled down near the side of the bed, so they were eye to eye. "How does it feel?" She questioned, hoping he would understand the importance of his answer.

Although they hadn't been together long, the familiarity of Negan plagued her. And the fact he was the only one she had been with plagued her too. Made her stupidly misaligned.
But she wanted to know what it would be like to be separate. Because part of her wanted to be separate.

The idea bright like a neon light the minute Rick told her what Lori had done.

"Half full." He said again. "I mean, you know I'd been struggling with how I felt for her for some time." Rick eyes skated to the ceiling, his jawline obvious and prominent to her. Sometimes it's hard to have someone beautiful in front of you that you know you could love if the timing was right. "But I… this is what I wanted, deep down. I just have to get used to the change, the lack of familiar ways."
Michonne allowed him to be lost in his thoughts for a second, a ticking of his index finger against his thigh a key sign.

What were Negan's quirks?

Had she ever stopped to look at him whole?

Had she just allowed him to take her breath away and a façade of her heart?

It was weird. This doubt was weird. Ask her a few months ago and she would have said that her head was fuzzy and her heart only beat for him if he allowed it.
That felt like some time ago. Like the layers of her skin had shed and gave her a new personality, new emotions that she needed to work through.

"You okay 'Chonne?" Rick asked, placing a hand on hers.

The heat that conjured in both of their fingers was enough for their breaths to stop. She liked the feeling, like a ghost that rested beside her to remind her it was there.
She hadn't felt it that strongly in so long.
And if she wasn't stupid, she'd think that she wanted to kiss Rick. To feel the warmth of his mouth on hers, the snaking of his hands around her waist.

But it's just a crush.

A crush.

She recited it like a chorus, whilst Rick looked at her with stars in his eyes.

The urge to pull her onto his lap and feel the palm of her hands on his bare chest.

"I think-" The tip of her tongue burned with the truth, but so did the buzz of her phone alongside Negan's ringtone.
The tension in the air stammers to nothing, just like Michonne as she apologises whilst picking up the call. There's an inhale from both.

"We need to talk."