Lori returned like the first gulp of hard liquor at the back of your throat – harsh, but expected.
Michonne had never moved so fast in her life, grabbing the remainder of her clothes and dashing across the hall where she quickly unlocked her door, then pressed herself against it.
She breathed as though she had just run a marathon, her heart following in the same manner of imitation.
The situation had dawned on her in her sleep, the reoccurring sensation of what had happened when he was in between her legs followed her.
But dreams are never straight forward and can often find a way of becoming nightmares with guilt, so she found the presence of Negan every time Rick was in her mind.
Like they were fighting for importance.
The anguish hit her the same time the throbbing of her head did, and parts of her ached on the inside, where simple soothing words couldn't solve the hurt.
Is this what guilt felt like?
That wasn't like her, to get so caught up in the moment even if her head was spinning.
But, Rick made her feel something also. With how soft he was, how his eyes traced her face at times with an awe and admiration she tasted her tongue and once she swallowed it, had engulfed her chest with such warmth.
And she was on a break.
But that was hypocrisy and she knew it.
And it grated at her mind as she lay in bed allowing the thoughts to circle, whether she should tell him or not. Whether it was worth it. Whether she'd want to know what he was up to on the break.
The uncertainty lulled her back to sleep an hour or so after she entered her room.
Xx
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
Rick mumbled as he stumbled into clothes and ran his hands through his hair, scanning the room for his dorm key so he could go and get Lori.
Lori in her jeans and jumper.
Lori and her brown hair.
Lori and her perfect timing.
And she arrived like a results day. Something that was pushed to the back of your mind until you were ready to face it. He wasn't yet ready to face it.
Had been pushing it back to the depths of his mind while he filled his time with fun. With Michonne.
Michonne who made him burn at the edges and curl into himself.
Made him unsure and raw.
Like the beginning should be. Like a relationship should be if it has any chance of surviving anyway.
He knew why she was back, the call of her like a siren. Deadly, but familiar.
But it didn't compare to the spark that had found him yesterday as he traced Michonne's skin, as he held the plump of her behind in his hands while she rode him on top, the feel of her intoxicating.
Guilt still plagued him… but so did anger.
She had called on the break. What did she want from him?
Loyalty?
A fight?
Was he even worth wanting them things from if they had never crossed his mind?
The half-full glass that had encompassed who he was swayed, the water never still and unsure.
What would he do in front of her big eyes? Confess, fall to his knees and ask for a mercy he wasn't sure that he wanted.
What this meant was fully letting go.
And when she entered his room, he was afraid she'd smell the lust of last night. Afraid that the mingling of their bodies had left marks that only Lori's eyes could see.
But she didn't. She lay across the bed, breathing in deeply and looking at the ceiling, making Rick cringe with anticipation.
"I missed you." Her voice teased, the openness of it surprising to him. Sometimes you couldn't tell whether Lori was being honest, or telling a lie, there were countless games he had played in the years. Rick contemplated how he would reply. It would be a lie to say he missed her for the right reasons, but the guilt shaded his logic and he wanted to give her something that almost didn't make him feel like shit. Still… he bit his tongue. "Did you hear what I said?"
"Why are you back Lori?" Rick bit back, looking directly into her eyes.
Her body shifted with that, cold and metallic, not in one fluid movement. "Because I missed you. I just said that." The crossing of his hands over his chest, coupled with the tightening of his jaw made her flustered, stumbling over her words. "I-I… I didn't want a break, I thought that something would change and it didn't…" Her jaw hung open. "I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry won't cut it Lori." He spat, facing away from her to the desk he had placed Michonne on just the night before. He remembered the feeling of her in his mouth, the soft of her bud, the plump of her tongue. They needed to talk, he needed to see her face and see where this was going, if it was going anywhere. If her guilt was strong or there at all.
"I'm back now Rick," the tears made her eyes sparkle.
Fuck.
Fuck.
"Can we put this to rest, God, it's making my head hurt!" Rick banged his fist on the table, making her jump.
"Didn't you miss me?" Lori ignored his request, snaking her arms around his stomach until he shimmied her off.
Rick breathes steady, looking her in the eyes.
And he was disgusted in himself for his indecisiveness. How it depended on Michonne. How a fear of being alone, navigating University to prove to someone else that he was worthy, seemed like such a daunting task.
"Can you get a movie on?"
The sudden request shocked her, but she complied, shaking her head obediently and taking his laptop from him to then sit on the bed.
"I'll be right back, just give me a few minutes to run to the shop and get some snacks."
Her door opened as she stepped out of the shower, grabbing the towel tighter around her as she saw Rick standing there, his eyes filled with a slight irrationality.
"Michonne," he whispered stepping closer to her. Taking her all in. Understanding how the risk of being here was lovely to him, making his heart hammer in his chest, his fingers tingle. He kept stepping closer as her feet remained planted to the ground.
"Rick, Lori is here." She breathed when he was so close, he could feel the remanence of the hot shower from her skin. Her body, although it had been racked with guilt just hours ago, was now wet and bothered. It wanted to feel the pleasure of him again.
The focus he had on her body right now, the way his eyes flicked over the beads of water on her shoulder, and the plump of her cleavage.
But she was good.
"Rick we can't, she's right there." Her body jolted as he took her hand, the blue eyes trying to gage where they stood, how fast her heart was beating and how much of it was beating for him.
"Tell me you don't feel something." His voice dipped with the shame of a confession and the fear of being rejected.
Because all of him wanted her.
Now.
"Rick."
And he kissed her with all the force that he had, grabbing her jaw and slipping his tongue in. At first the hunger in his kisses wasn't matched, a certain uncertainty within her wanted to hold back. To stay loyal to whatever she was in. But then she fell into a rhythm, she kissed him back and gave into the call of her body.
Gave into wrapping her hands around his neck so that the towel dropped from her and Rick groaned into her mouth as his hands snaked to her behind, grabbing it and pulling her towards him, towards the bed, where they fell, her below.
They kissed for a few more seconds until Rick decided to kiss down her body, receiving soft moans as he did so. She said his name, the guilt of it heavy on her tongue but overridden by the pleasure she felt as his mouth covered her bud.
Rick held her legs and licked her, eating her like it was the only way to her heart. And he wasn't ashamed to admit he loved the taste of her, loved the uniqueness of it, how it wasn't too sweet or too bitter.
God, he loved the way she sounded for him. Their hushed moans like sin in the boxed room.
And she wanted him as she came for him, whimpering as he carried on past her climax.
They huffed, a small smile spreading on his face, bittersweet as he remembered what he would have to return to.
"What are we doing Rick?" Michonne breathed, not looking at him, the tingle still spreading around throughout her legs.
"I don't know Michonne." He was honest and open and raw.
And she wanted to kiss him for his sincerity.