AN: Good morning everybody! I think that random burst of random creativity are best for this type of thing so here it is.

Also, I tried putting astericks around all the italic stuff but it didn't work so, yeah.

It was another one of those days for which the Olympic Peninsula was famous for…

Edward lays upon the couch, hands behind head, feet propped up on the opposite edge watching a random sitcom on TV, while Bella watches him. His face is fascinating, true, but when it looks that bored then the effect wears off on one as well.

Bella:sighs in a sad sort of way

Edward: uses not really caring and only slightly interested voice. Is something wrong?

Bella: from behind kitchen counter I'm gonna die.

Edward: rolls his eyes, then simply to pass the time, stretches, gets up, bends down to tie his shoe, scratches his but, runs his hands through hair to make it look cool, scratches his nose, stretches some more, then walks over to Bella, stands behind her, puts his arms around her waist, then Finally says in an exasperated voice

We've had this conversation a thousand times, as soon as you're ready and have at least one semester of college party life in you-

Bella: And married you, and finished college, and climbed Mount Everest, and turned thirty and then die…"

Edward: worried Bella…

Bella: annoyed I had originally meant that I was going to die of boredom but if you want to have 'the talk' again and waste another unspecific amount of time of my precious mortal life, then go ahead, it's not like we have anything better to do."

Edward: Oh. goes back to watching TV on the couch

Bella can't help but let her eyes notice his gorgeous bod.

Bella: in seductive voice. You know, Charlie's not home.

Edward: except for later pushing air out of his mouth and forming words with his lips, he rolls his eyes again without doing anything else this time because he doesn't need to breathe I know we don't have anything to do, but living in sin is on the not to do list

Bella: Well you're not really alive so how would you be living in sin?

Edward: slightly insulted Bitch, I've been live n kickn since 1901!

Bella: watches Edward perform Karate kicks with a distasteful look on her face Edward, if you're heart isn't beating, then you're not alive. Ur dads a doctor you should know that.

Edward: Oh yeah, if I wasn't alive then how would I be able to this… begins to do the cabbage patch

Bella:I'm sure Casper can do that too.

Edward: thinks of even randomer crap Can Casper do this?

Bella: Watches Edward do Soldier Boy Dance Probably, if he set his mind to it.

Edward: No, he wouldn't. They invented the steps after he died.

Bella: I don't think they ever specify exactly when he dies, but he could always you tube the steps.

Edward: No, he couldn't. He doesn't have tangible fingers to use for typing.

Bella: They invented the cabbage patch after you died and you learned. Shouldn't he be able to learn a new way to boogie?

Edward: No, he shouldn't. Supernatural things dancing just isn't right.

Bella: doesn't bother to point out the irony of the situation

Edward: adds an after thought And I'm NOT dead.

Bella: Edward! Here are some basic things you need to be alive. You have to be able to exchange gases (I think, correct me if I'm wrong, you're the know it all) and you don't need to breathe. You have to get nutrients in you in some way, and you don't eat, well you drink blood so I guess that's where you get energy, you have to maintain homeostasis, which I guess you kind of do as well… but you can't reproduce!

Edward: And how would you know that?

Bella: Well you're not exactly letting me try so find out so I don't really know…yet.

Edward: No, I meant, how you know that those are the characteristics of life? I thought you were obsessed with romance novels, not textbooks.

Bella: Oh. awkward silence I don't really want to get pregnant. more silence

Edward: despite all his supposed fast thinking ways, he still expresses mock horror at something that happened a while ago You haven't been seeing Mr. Banner's son on the side have you? How else would you know all that?

Bella: Doesn't like being possibly referred to as a cheating tramp and is now outraged BIOLOGY, THE STUDY OF LIFE! WHERE I WOULD HAVE OUTSHONE YOU, HAD YOU BEEN ALIVE! WE FREKIN MET IN STUPID BIOLOGY! HOW THE HELL COULD YOU NOT REMEMBER THAT?! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE MADLY IN LOVE WITH ME!! THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS STUPID CONVERSATION WAS ABOUT HOW I WANTED TO GIVE YOU MY HEART, MIND, CLUMSINESS, SOUL AND BODY?

Edward: Jezze if you're really that bored why we don't just go rent a movie.

Bella: is totally calmed down now because she's EMO so she's prone to mood swings Fine. I'll just go and get my rain coat. Trips

Please keep in mind that this chapter was started at almost 3 IN THE MORNING and finished at 3:35. Therefore, I, the author, will be very touchy and grouchy when mom wakes me up at noon. CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is appreciated but flamers are strongly discouraged. If I log on and see them…well I'll think of something but please don't tempt me.

P.S. Did anyone else see that they turned Mr. Banner into a Mr. Molina? What's up with that?