AN: This chapter is dedicated to Zack and more importantly, to Cloud (you waited long enough, son). Please review if you enjoyed this chapter somewhat. ;_;

Warning: A lot of swearing in this chapter.

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"Fuck." Zack mumbled as he rearranged the perfectly placed items in his room. He really should stop doing this, he thought, and do something more productive. But he can't help it as Cloud invaded his thoughts, over and over, his words echoing in his mind like a never-ending siren.

Everything has got to do with you!
Everything—
Everything.

It was driving him slowly insane to say the least. Is Cloud hero-worshipping him like he did before with the Firsts? Or does it mean a different thing entirely? His chest clenches tightly at the idea, and he dismisses it immediately. He'll crash and burn, wouldn't he? Hoping like that. He wanted to call Angeal so badly and ask for some advice. Hell, he felt like a fucking teenager right now, of all things. He cannot even get his shit together. At least Cloud seems to know what specifically he wanted, while he just keeps on going back and forth, getting stuck somewhere in the middle of everything he wanted and his morals.

Worst of all, Cloud is nowhere to be seen, evidenced by his current trip to his bunk the day after. His bunk-mates had told him that they only saw him once, momentarily, packing up some of his items. They thought he was just preparing for another mission, and never asked further. Zack has an idea where he could have gone, but is he allowed to be there? He obviously wants to be so far, far away from him at the moment. Zack contemplated on calling him, many times now, as he looked at his phone, chewing his lower lip in frustration. His fucking impatience is killing him. He really wanted to talk to him, and clarify things. Zack knows it's wrong enough for him to impose his thinking on Cloud. He just couldn't help it, though. But more importantly, he had realized that he needed to accept the fact that Cloud doesn't need him in that way, for he can take care of himself. Why would he even recommend him to be in Soldier in the first place if he isn't fucking capable? He's smart, he's bold and—he can go on and on, but in the end, it makes him worry. He has never been so damned conflicted with his feelings. He dialed Cloud's number. After a few rings, the line went dead.

Cloud turned off his phone promptly at the sight of Zack's name calling him. He cannot face him right now. How can he explain his behavior to him the day before? He just burst in the worst way possible in front of him. Now he thinks he's immature. Just.. great. What would he tell him anyway? That he's— in love with him? That he was so desperate to be worthy of his affection? His brows knit tightly in frustration as he sighed deeply, idly plucking a bright, golden flower that bloomed beautifully inside a rundown church, of all places. Aerith had told him she discovered it sometime before. It looked well-tended to be exact. She must be going here quite frequently than he thought she did. The mental image suited her, he thought idly, as he twirled the delicate-looking flower in his fingers. Maybe he could just lock himself up in here for the meantime. He sighed once again, as he stared at the dark sky beyond a broken ceiling. He never saw the stars from the slums. It was technically impossible because of the plates, and more recently, he realized, from the pollution.

Laughter echoed in the ever-dingy walls of their apartment as Cloud stepped inside, after what seemed to be the longest time. He immediately saw the source of the commotion and he grimaced internally, as his heart jumped in false expectation. Of course, he wouldn't be here. It was such a stupid idea, even for a second, for him to think he would follow him here. He didn't even know where he probably went.

"Marlene! Gaia! You're heavy- please stop pulling my hair. I know it's gorgeous but—"
"Ahh! Look who's here!"

Reno exclaimed as he saw his rigid form by the door. Marlene was currently trying to control the redhead as she pulled on his hair at a direction, while she rode by his shoulders. She beamed at Cloud, pulling Reno's hair once again.

"Cloud! You're here!" Marlene exclaimed, trying to get the redhead to walk towards Cloud.

"Cloud!"

Denzel followed suit as he stared at him expectantly, standing up from the sofa. Aerith only smiled at him in delight, waving for him to come closer. Somehow, it's as if there were silent unspoken words amongst them and he just stared and smiled stiffly in return.

"Yeah. Expecting someone else?" The blonde said, finally sitting beside Aerith. She smiled at him warmly.

"You finally visited. Is it okay for you to leave at this time?"

The brunette asked carefully, eyeing Cloud. She's doing that—I see right through you look again. Cloud thought, and he fought the urge to shiver.

"Yeah, I just came back from a mission, really. It's okay for me rest."

"Where's Zack?"

The question was finally asked. Cloud thought bitterly as he looked at Denzel, his curious face studying him.

"He's busy, really." Reno's single eyebrow rose visibly.

"Ohh, so you guys already know Soldierboy?"

"Yeah! He's so cool!" Marlene exclaimed, still perched on Reno.

"He's that guy I told you about before, Reno. The dinner, remember?" Aerith supplied, smiling at him. If anything, she looked fond of the memory.

"I see." Reno answered, gaze locking on Cloud. He stared at the blonde pointedly, as he tried his best to irritate him. He smirked at the frown that formed on Cloud's face.

"What?" The blonde asked, giving in. Reno always does that to him whenever he wanted a reaction. The best way was to ignore him entirely, but he was pretty much all the over the place at the moment.

"Cmon', let's go outside, wanna ask you somethin' yo." Reno answered, beckoning him out with his hand while he tried to carefully put the young girl down. Cloud unwillingly followed.

.

"You like Soldierboy, don't you? I mean, I see the way you look at him that time. Is that the reason why you're here?"

Reno asked, cigarette dangling from his mouth. He watched as Clouds face broke into a flush, and his mouth opened, staying that way. His cigarette fell to the dirty floor of the staircase landing.

"Holy shit— you're fucking serious!" Reno exclaimed, eyes widening. Cloud hissed at him through gritted teeth and gave him the finger.

"It's none of your business." The blonde retorted defensively in a small voice, propping himself back to the railing.

"Yeah, yeah. I know right? But if you'll keep acting like that, even me will find you quite endearing." Cloud's face contorted to utter horror.

"Gross! No fucking way."

There was no way in hell he'd be like this in front of another person. Zack was the only exception. Reno's eyebrows raised.

"I didn't even say you're my type yo! Don't get fucking ahead of yourself, blondie. I like brunettes, just saying."

"Why are you even here, anyway? Aren't you supposed to be doing Turk stuff— whatever that was." Cloud asked purposefully, wanting to change the subject. Reno only looked at him in return.

"I wanna know how they're doing yo. Hurry up and get them out of here. It's not safe here and you know that."

"I know. I'm not saving up for nothing. But we can't take Marlene, she's got her own family."

"Huh? Where-? Last time I checked about a minute ago that is, her father is still nowhere to be seen. Don't leave her here, you know she's better off with Aerith."

Reno said as he fished another cigarette from his pocket. Cloud's frown deepened.

"I don't know what to do."

Reno eyed the blonde carefully. He does not share the important things to him, ever. Even if they have lived at the same house for a long time, Cloud just doesn't open up to him.

"Eh? You just need to find a good place, there's plenty at the upper plates. I can help you find one if you are that incapable." The redhead answered, eyeing the blonde beside him. He looked utterly troubled.

"That's not it."

Reno clicked his tongue in annoyance and lit his cigarette. He was so stubborn. And it isn't like he didn't even try before, didn't he?

"Then what is it, yo? I'm not a fucking psychic." Cloud just shook his head and turned towards the stairs.

"Nevermind— I need to talk with Aerith."

"Ahh. Of course, man. I was about to leave anyway. You hear me?" Reno retorted sarcastically, taking a deep puff as he watched the blonde climb back up.

You could at least try and trust me.
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Aerith found it quite astonishing to be exact, to see Cloud like this, being very vulnerable around her. He was always the one reassuring her, always the one confident and undoubting. It felt like meeting him for the first time, and it was a very refreshing feeling. She sat still at the sofa as his head lay on her lap, looking and doing nothing in particular. They have been in this position for some time now, and she was still waiting for him to finally open up.

"Have you ever thought of going far, far away from here?" Cloud asked, as he turned his head towards her, her soft lap comfortable. It felt so different with Zack, he thought, and he fought the urge to frown in front of her. Everything he does now seem to point to that man, he thought, in utter bitterness.

"Of course! It's just that, I've never been out of here before. It kind of scares me, really." The brunette replied, a small smile tugging her lips. The unmistakable glint in her eyes made the blonde relax a little.

"Maybe we can do that, someday." Cloud replied, smiling in return. He still couldn't bring himself to say what is troubling him the most, feeling that she might misunderstood him as well. Aerith only stared back at him, ever so patient. Why can't he just like her the same way? Things might not be as complicated if he just did. And if he's going to be honest, he had thought about that too, a long time ago. There was just no other possibility for him at that time but her, and the kids. They will make a good family, he thought, and they'd just stay like that for a long time, together.

How wrong he was.

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After some more prodding, with Genesis, of all people, he was proved to be right as he discovered Cloud's emergency leave filed and approved by the First. Genesis merely gave him an irritating smirk at the fact. He never did ask why he wanted to know and just told him that he's got no reason not to let him go. He was relieved at first, but now Zack can't help but feel nervous, as he dismounted from his motorcycle, glancing up to the familiar two-story, winding staircase. This is making him nervous more than any mission he had ever went through, for those missions only have but one outcome. Whatever the cost was, whatever the consequence was, his missions were always accomplished. Now, he's just isn't sure. He sighed as he climbed the steps heavily, his gut twisting in anticipation. Three knocks and he was greeted by the sight of Aerith, Denzel following close behind. The boy's face immediately lit up.

"Zack. It's been quite some time! Uhhm— what can I do for you?" The brunette asked tentatively, as she scrutinized the man in uniform in front of her. Zack gave him what he hoped is a bright smile as he scratched the back of his head.

"Uh— well, is Cloud in here? I really need to talk with him about something important. He's not answering his phone." What seemed like confusion formed in her face but it then suddenly dissolved to something more like realization.

"Ohhh.. I'm afraid he's not here." Aerith replied, a small smile tracing her lips despite the frown in her brows. It somehow portrayed endearment, he thought, like a mother would show her pained child with a scratched knee, after a mischievous endeavor.

"Do you know where I could find him then? Please—?" Zack tried, giving her the eyes. Aerith giggled.

"You don't need to do that. I know where he is." Zack brightened tenfold.

"Thanks, Aerith." Zack replied earnestly. He was about to go nuts from thinking.

"I knew something was up the moment he appeared at the door. I hope you guys can work it out, whatever the problem is. Cloud, he always runs away, he—" The brunette shook her head, trailing after her words. She looked at Zack's eyes and he felt strange a sensation, like she was seeing right through him at that instant. He felt naked under her stare.

"There's this part of him that I can't reach—"

"..but I think you could."

Aerith finally said, nodding at the brunet. Zack's smile was now pained. He nodded in return and waved at the kid standing patiently behind Aerith.

"I'll come back later, yeah?"

Denzel smiled widely.

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Zack inhaled deeply as he pushed the massive wooden door gently, stepping tentatively inside the weathered church. A soft, ethereal glow lights up the heart of the church, the few remaining lanterns, old, but unwavering. His head had turned to the sound of the door opening, and then to him. He seemed to be shocked at Zack's intruding presence and he turned his back on him promptly. Zack got reduced to a bundle of nerves as he walked through the pews and towards the blonde resolutely, stopping short behind him. He was sitting cross-legged in front of a bed of golden lilies, beautiful and vibrant.

"You still angry at me?" Zack said as he sat beside Cloud, light blue eyes raking his stiff form diffidently. He was wearing a very casual clothing, except for the cargo pants. Cloud uncrossed his legs in front of him, bringing his knees closer and propping his arms to it.

"I'm not angry, really. Why would I be?" The blonde answered softly, still not looking at the brunet. Zack raked his fingers through his raven hair and sighed.

"You know.. you're awesome, really."

"It's just that.. I was— I got scared. I never expected you to risk it for me. I mean, who does that? That's always been my role."

If anything, Cloud only visibly tensed. But he finally met his stare, his deep blue eyes swirling with emotions.

"Why are you so—"

Zack watched as frustration broke in his beautiful face, as his eyes locked on his own, searching.

"I'm— I want to say sorry. That's what I really wanted to say. I shouldn't have acted like that—" Cloud said in a smaller voice, his gaze falling back to the patch of flowers.

"No, I'm sorry. Cloud listen, don't ever think you're beneath me, or anybody else, alright? Don't ever think that I'm much better than you in all aspects because I'm not." Zack replied immediately, reaching out to rake his fingers on his golden locks. It remained at the back of his head though, and he unconsciously leaned into him, planting a gentle, apologetic kiss on his cheek. Cloud's eyes went wide. Zack gave him a shy grin.

"Peace, Spiky?"

"I'm not your little brother, Zack—" Cloud replied, mouth hanging open. He was staring at him in disbelief, the same way he did when they had this whole misunderstanding.

"I don't want to be your brother."

Zack heard the blonde blurt out, voice soft, but steady. His sky-blue eyes widened in return, and he leaned closer, voice dropping to a whisper.

"Then what do you want to be?"

Zack asked, eyes dropping dazedly to half lids as he anticipated the words from the blonde's mouth. Cloud averted his eyes, a blush betraying his face. He seemed to be barely breathing, his voice a mere whisper. Zack thought it was the most thrilling thing.

I want to be your equal.

"I want—"

"..to be yours."

Cloud shivered as Zack dipped his head lower, feeling as his lips grazed his exposed neck, his warm breath sending chills down his spine. He fought the urge to close his eyes and bite his lip on the sensation, and failed.

"Do you know what that meant?"

His voice was hot against his ears and Cloud just wanted every possibility that was held in those words. He hoped that the other does not hear the raging of his heartbeat. It sounded loud in his head, pulsing at his temples.

"No. Show me?"

His senses were acutely aware of Zack, and nothing else. Cloud sucked in a breath as Zack tipped his head to the side gently, and started kissing the exposed skin of his neck. His eyes remained shut tight, as his kisses travelled upwards, going for the delicate triangle beneath his jaw, and he tipped his head willingly a little more, to give him more access. Zack hummed in approval as he planted wet kisses on every inch of the porcelain column of his neck, his own heart racing wildly in his chest. He shivered as he heard a soft moan escaping Cloud's mouth, and he continued his gentle assaults, going upwards again to his opened mouth. He cupped his face as he drank in his flustered state, his right thumb running over his soft lower lip. He wanted to see through his oceanic eyes.

"Cloud?"

Zack said softly between the temptingly small distance between them. Cloud's eyes finally fluttered open at the sound of his name, deep blue oceans meeting the blue of the skies. Cloud can only stare as the words got stuck in his throat, seeing the undeniable wanting in the brunet's eyes. It fueled his own feelings tenfold, and he leaned in closer, wanting to feel him more.

He guessed he didn't need another word as Cloud was leaning closer, and he met him halfway, capturing his beautiful mouth. It was the first thing he wanted to do that moment when the blonde was straddled on his legs, that night on his apartment, long ago. He wanted to taste his sweet, sweet mouth, and now he was, and it was driving him over the edge with need. Zack's right hand travelled lower to Cloud's waist to gather him closer, as he tries to deepen the kiss. Cloud obliged as he opened his mouth wider, and he thrust in his tongue inside, exploring. He was vaguely aware of the blonde's hands gripping his hair and his shoulder, for all he could feel was the warmth of his tongue in his mouth.

Cloud moaned in his mouth softly as Zack's hand found its way inside his shirt, caressing his sides gently, going to the small of his back. Next thing Cloud knew was the feeling of falling, as he was pushed to the bed of flowers at his side, and Zack, breaking the kiss, looming on top of him. He was breathing heavily, a mixture of something like frustration and restraint on his face. The faint smell of earth and lilies enveloped him, and Cloud almost shivered again.

"Is this what you want—?"

Zack asked breathlessly as if to confirm the situation. Both of his hands were propped on the sides of Cloud's face, and he just wanted to close the distance once again between them. Cloud's half lidded eyes didn't help at all, as Zack watches him collect himself.

"Yes."

It was the only thing Cloud could think of. He wanted to be taken over by this man to be exact. He reached out intently at the thought, his fingers grasping the brunet's nape to bring him closer. Zack willingly lets him and he was met with a deep, open-mouthed kiss. He indulged in it, marveled it, and surrendered in the sensation completely. It was like tasting the very thing he was craving for all his life and it leaves him wanting more. Zack broke the kiss once again, eyes glowing.

"You want to go out of here?"

Zack whispered as their foreheads rested on each other gently. Cloud's smile was bright amidst the glow of golden flowers, blooming.

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This isn't exactly what Zack thought when he asked Cloud if he wanted to go out, but he's still stupidly happy nonetheless. He tightened his grip on the blonde's torso as he sped on again, the sound of the whirring motor on full throttle echoing in the night. A little more and he felt like flying through the highways. Cloud seemed to be getting the kicks out of it, and he can tell that he was smiling as the sharp winds assaulted their faces. He perched his chin at his shoulder then, and closed his eyes, and just leave him be. There was no better feeling in the world. Zack never had thought that it felt very liberating to just let go and trust Cloud with every inch of his being. No other person will make him feel the same way. No other person ever had.

They pulled to a stop at an incomplete part of the highway, ending abruptly at the city's edge. Zack stood by the edge of the road, viewing the massive sectors stretching beneath them. Cloud joined him shortly, standing close beside him.

"I kinda miss the ocean you know? We're pretty close to the beach from where I came from." Zack suddenly said, glancing at the blonde. Cloud returned the gaze, and smiled at him openly.

"Gongaga, right?" Cloud answered, something like fondness settling on his face.

"You remembered." Zack replied, smiling further. Cloud nodded, tearing his eyes away from the brunet and into the skies.

"It's hard to see the stars from here, isn't it?"

"Yeah. I used to search for them when I first came here."

"Do you look at them back in Gongaga?" The blonde asked curiously, as he tried to conjure a mental image of a beach beneath the stars.

"Always." Zack answered truthfully, gaze travelling back to Cloud.

"They were beautiful."

Cloud turned to find Zack looking at him, face solemn. It makes his heart skip a beat at the way he was openly looking at him now, so much different than he used to.

"You think, we can go there some time?" Cloud asked, the temptation too much for him to deny. The corners of Zack's lips curled upwards, making the butterflies in the blonde's stomach flutter.

"Yeah. We can go to the beach and look at them."

Cloud unwittingly stepped closer to his inviting warmth, pulling him closer, as he falls completely into the depths of his unspoken feelings and into his arms. He was running his fingers again to his golden locks and he rests his head into his chest, closing his eyes against the rhythmic beating of his heart. It may seem completely unbelievable to everyone else who knew him along with those who does not, but all he wanted right now was for Zack to take him away. Farther away from everything, from everyone, until there was just the two of them, alone with the stars.

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The engine roared as they traced their way back to the city, Cloud letting Zack drive. They didn't utter much as they sped through once again at the highways, but they were startled as a very loud explosion assaulted their vision, lighting up the dark skies. Zack made a sharp stop. Dark smoke now rose from the broken reactor, as debris continued to fall into the city below. It was soon followed by another series of explosions, and a low rumbling sound that shook even the highways.

"Holy—"

Zack exclaimed, jaw dropping. Cloud dazedly watched, as an entire plate then seem to unhinge, falling, then crashing completely down below. It made the ground shake once more, the impact sending a cloud of dust and smoke flying from below.

"No. no—" Cloud managed, as his hands tightened around Zack's waist.

"Aerith— That's Sector Seven isn't it?!" Cloud asked frantically, voice rising against the unfolding chaos before them.

"Fuck! Hold on, Cloud."

Zack retorted, gritting his teeth, before he started the engine once again, flying back to slums.

"What's happening? Zack?" Cloud asked, as panic slowly crept into him. All he can see was the gaping hole of the once Sector Seven, and the smoke, the flames and the destruction that took it, along with the many, many lives within it.

"I— I don't know. Shit! I don't know—"

Cloud heard Zack exclaim distantly, against the winds and the siren echoing in the night.

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"Everything seemed to be going according to the President's plan." Lazard started, a look of distaste evident on his usually calm face. It mirrored the look on Hollander's face, as they look from the lavish, glass walls of Shinra's headquarters to the Sector below, now reduced to utter destruction. Genesis only looked on, not saying anything. He turned his back from it a moment later, turning his attention towards Lazard.

"So, we're expecting a surge of Soldier applicants after this— mess. Aren't we?" The First asked, his face completely impassive. Lazard consciously adjusted his glasses, sensing the edge on the Soldier's voice.

"We are. Don't worry, it will definitely not affect our plans. It will take time for them to be good. And you still hold a large portion of the Soldier's faith more than the President. They'll follow you no matter what the President says."

"I thought Hojo's abominations were enough." Hollander interjected, looking pointedly from Lazard to Genesis.

"Isn't this just a waste of money? Reeve will go nuts—"

Genesis ignored the scientist and just focused on the director.

"I'll pray to Minerva that you're right, Lazard. I'm getting tired of this circus." Genesis replied, giving the other man a glance before he left the room. Lazard gave him the attention once the First was out of sight.

"Hollander, I hope the machines are ready by now. There is no type of convincing that will make Sephiroth turn against Soldier. We will face his sword in the battlefield unless we send him to war. We should be ready for him alone. Not only that, but Zack Fair is another potential problem."

"And Angeal? Does he know already?" The scientist asked, suddenly feeling outmatched and utterly disadvantaged. Sephiroth alone had taken care of an entire Wutaian army in the first Wutai war.

"No. I don't know how he will react. Genesis will try and convince him, nonetheless."

"Why don't you just let this go Lazard— you'll lose everything you've accomplished." Hollander intercepted, sweating coldly. Lazard didn't budge.

"No, we will gain everything. Shinra's greed knows no bounds. It should stop, now."

"You really hate your father that much, do you?" Hollander tried once more. Lazard just straightened his suit.

"He has never been a father to me."

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Zack pulled to a stop at the edge of the massive rubble, wary of the debris falling, and more acutely aware of the distressed civilians of the slums that gathered near it, despite the danger. Cloud was frantically trying to make a call behind him, biting his lower lip impatiently. The call didn't go through.

"No! Shit—"

Cloud was now fussing all over and Zack dismounted from his motorcycle and dragged the blonde with him, bringing him closer.

"Shh— Cloud, listen, we will find them. Okay? Calm down—" Zack assured him, as he embraced him tightly. The blonde was trying to push him away and he held on tighter, not wanting to let go. Zack felt like if he would let him go now, he will lose him forever.

"We will find them.. Don't worry."

"Why— why is this happening?" Cloud uttered, buried in Zack's chest. The brunet finally gave him some distance as he let him be pushed by his hands weakly, oceanic eyes searching for his.

Zack watched as tears fell down on his face, and it broke his heart into a million pieces. Cloud didn't deserve any of this, he thought, and he kissed his warm tears away. It seemed to only make it fall all the more, and he brushed it away with his thumb, as he tried to comfort him once again. Cloud went limp in his arms, as he gave in to the chaos in his mind and soul.

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