Seth was in hell.
True, people made statements like that all the time. However, he wasn't being an overdramatic teen, who's drowning in a pool of angst. If the surging flames around him were an indication, he was in hell.
Okay, maybe he was being overdramatic since he wasn't in a literal hell since he didn't believe in hell. But standing across from Kane, watching him cackle with his arms thrown up into the air as jutting flames shot out of the industrial-sized barbecue grill, he could easily imagine himself in such a place.
No, last week, Intern Eve (of all people) had decided the best idea in the world would be to initiate several bonding events for the Authority to promote unity and motivation amongst the faction. Seth scoffed at the notion. Why would the Authority need to stoop so low? They were intimidating; they were in charge. They definitely didn't need monthly bowling excursions or Kumbaya singing sessions around a campfire. However, somehow Hunter and Stephanie agreed with the crazy lady. In addition to having parties to celebrate every major holiday and monthly bowling excursions, they would have a semiannual pig roast. Just great...
But it got worse. When the question arose as to who should cook the pig, Hunter had decided to have Seth and Kane work together to roast the poor boar. This group task would promote unity and would help them get on the same page. Yeah, like that was going to happen...
Kane stopped his maniacal laughter to look disapprovingly at Seth. At least, Seth imagined it was a disapproving look; it was hard to tell what Kane was thinking when he was in his full Demon Kane gear, including the mask. "Seth, you're not putting your all into this."
Seth frowned. "What do you mean I'm not putting my all into this?"
Kane crossed his arms. "You have to be one with the flames, or this isn't therapeutic."
"Therapeutic? Who said this was supposed to be therapeutic?" Seth practically spat out.
"Therapeutic activities promote a strong bond and make teammates respect one another. If you put your full effort into this pig roast, you will really reap the benefits from this therapeutic exercise. And we can be on the same page."
I don't think any part of this is therapeutic," Seth mumbled under his breath.
Kane leaned over the top of the grill to growl at Seth, "I heard that, you ungrateful punk. Now just be happy I'm not frying you right now instead of this wild boar."
Seth sighed and eyed up the large boar that was currently resting in the flames in between him and Kane. It was too easy imagining Kane trying to shove an apple into Seth's own mouth before the demon tossed a tied-up Seth onto the open flames. "Okay, how's this?" Seth threw up his arms and laughed.
The flames seemed to die out and shrink, slightly.
Kane scoffed. "I said 'be one with the flames,' not mock them. Do it like this."
"MWAHAHAHA!" The flames shot up a good ten feet into the air, and Seth unconsciously jumped back.
Kane looked at Seth, expectantly. "Now, you try. Just imagine that boar as your most hated enemy and incinerate him. That's what I like to do."
Seth sighed and looked at the poor boar, just plopped there on the metal grate with jutting flames all around him. That poor boar… Oh God, was it his imagination or did he just hear it oink around the apple in its mouth? "Ha... Ha. Ha?"
"That was terrible!" Kane growled. He reached over the lit grill and grabbed Seth by the throat.
Seth gasped and clawed at the hands of the Devil's Favorite Demon to try to make him let go.
"You are lucky I'm not choke slamming you onto Wilbur here," Kane said. Then Kane dropped him, unceremoniously. "Now try it again!"
Seth scowled at Kane and imagined pushing him onto the grill since he loved fire so much. Kane was nothing but a pain in his ass… "HA HA HAAA HA HAAAA!"
To both his and Kane's eternal surprise, a spurt of flames shot several feet out of the grill and into the air. Seth and Kane stared at the boar, which was completely engulfed in fire at this point, wondering how that was possible.
Kane cleared his throat. "Not bad, kid. I knew you had it in you."
Seth couldn't help but grin.