Racism is funny. Prejudice is wrong.-Thoraxe357 (or Carlos Mencia. I 'm not sure who said it first.)
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Silence reigned in the kitchen of number twelve Grimmauld Place as Harry Potter and Hermione Granger entered. They saw every present order member, excepting Dumbledore and Moody, had their wands pointed at the blue-coated stranger.
"What's going on?" asked Harry, drawing most of the attention. Using the distraction, the stranger snapped his fingers. All of the raised wands flew from their owners' hands and into his.
"There is no need for violence, people. All I need is for the good headmaster to present the elder wand so I can take it. That's right, sir, I know that that is, in fact, the legendary wand given to one of three brothers by Death himself.
"And how did you know that, Mr. Trantic?" asked Dumbledore.
"My 'employer' told me." he replied, quoting employer with his fingers.
"And who is your 'employer'?" queried the headmaster, mimicking Jaxom's movements.
"All part of the story I will tell if and when you surrender your wand."
Dumbledore looked to the grizzly visage of Mad-eye Moody. The old auror nodded in response. Knowing the rarity of Moody's gift of trust to anyone, the aged man resignedly withdrew his wand. In the blink of an eye, Jaxom was beside him, driving his index and middle fingers into the old man's arm. Dumbledore was forced to drop the wand as his fingers instantly slackened.
Catching the piece of wood, Jaxom smiled at the headmaster and snapped his fingers again. Every one of the previously pilfered wands returned tho the owners and Jax gestured the shocked Harry and Hermione to the table. As the Order members warily took their seats, Jaxom cleared his throat.
"Now that that's settled, I need an oath that none of you will speak of what I'm about to reveal to anyone outside of his room." nervous glances were thrown at Dumbledore and, receiving his nod of approval, every wand was raised in acceptance. Removing his glasses after the resulting flash of light, Jaxom smiled warmly and continued. "There was a prophecy made by one Sybill Trelawney eighteen years ago. It was, in point of fact, this prophecy that this group was guarding two years ago. Now, don't go glaring at the headmaster. I'm sure that he was doing what he thought right by keeping it close to the vest. This prophecy said that one of two children would be marked as the dark lord's equal. This marked child would be the only one who could defeat that same dark lord.
Now, prophecies are generated by fate, one of the cosmic forces...and she has a huge tendency to fuck her subjects over. I see you agree, Mr. Potter. Well, two other cosmic entities finally had enough of her callous attitude and decided to step in with a prophecy of their own.
"Power! Power the likes of which has not been seen since Merlin himself. The second heir of magic has been awakened by the forces of death and balance. He has been tasked with the annihilation of the snake in God's garden."
Okay. Admittedly, it wasn't a prophecy so much as it was a dramatic declaration. But whatever. It was given to a group that shall forever remained nameless. They've existed for many a century without discovery and I'm not gonna be the one to ruin that. The child mentioned within the declaration was removed from the smoking remnants of his home village at the age of four and trained for fourteen years. At the completion of his preliminary training, the boy was able to speak directly to Death and Balance. They finally told him of his task. He was told of the return of Lord Voldemort and of his mission to end the dark 'lord's' life. Along with that, he was told of the source of snake face's continued life.
You see, ladies and gentle men, Tom Riddle created seven horcruxes. I can see that everyone here knows at least a little of them, so I'll just skip the explanation. The first part of the boy's task was to eliminate the pieces of Riddle's soul. He was informed of their identities and the general areas they were located in.
Of course, when I say 'general areas', I mean areas of fifty of more miles. Add in the fact that each one was hidden by layers and layers of dark magic and booby traps, and this was still a helluva job. You see, as cosmic forces, Death and Balance are restricted to how much they can directly interfere in our world. Hence the need for an agent.
Anywho, the boy immediately knew how he was going to locate the horcruxes, but he didn't have the money to pay for it. So, he became something akin to a bounty hunter. In both the magical and muggle world. For two years, he tracked down many a criminal, avoiding high ranking Death munchers."
"And why did 'he' avoid them?" asked Hermione.
"Because, Ms. Granger, he needed to avoid the attentions of the dark lord until he was ready. Finally, a year ago, he gathered enough money to pay the Goblin nation for their services.
I'm assuming that, by now, we've all realized that I am the boy in question. No need to roll your eyes, Ms. Granger, we all know of your brilliant mind. In the course of my work, I eventually became friends with the goblins, which has reduced their fees dramatically. But I digress.
That call was to tell me that the second to last horcrux was located. The piece of soul was already removed by the head master here, if I'm not mistaken, but I needed the stone in the ring that housed the horcrux to complete my end of a deal with death.
Which segues quite nicely into my need for this wand. I'm not sure how many of you know the story of the deathly hallows. I'm seeing a couple blank stares, so I'll give you a basic rundown.
Many, many centuries ago, three brothers by the name of Peverell managed to cross a rather treacherous river. For some reason that the big guy hasn't seen to fit to tell me, he offered them a boon for their accomplishment. Each brother was gifted with a powerful magical items. The oldest, Antioch, was given an unbeatable wand. The middle, Cadmus, was given a stone with the power to resurrect any lost soul. Finally the youngest, Ignotus, received an invisibility cloak.
Now, the stone and the wand were dire mistakes on Death's part. While it was true that he expected them to cause the older brothers' deaths in one way or another, and they did, the two objects were supposed to disappear from the the face of the earth after words. That was not what happened. The stone was passed down through the lineages of a vile family who used it for several of their own personal gains. The doorway to the afterlife was constantly being opened and souls removed. This, essentially, usurped Death's authority. And that, ladies and gentlemen, pissed him off.
The wand cut a bloody swathe throughout history. Many idiotic people were killed so that the 'unbeatable wand' could be theirs. Countless souls were lost, flooding Death's realm and severely overworking him. As you can guess, that wasn't very appreciated.
So, to make a long story shor..."
"Too late." muttered Amos Diggory.
"...I was told to eliminate the two Hallows. The goblins have put the stone in my Gringotts vault and I hold the wand, so all I have to do is return them to the big man and the deal is done. So...any questions?"
Jaxom's tale was met with awed and incredulous looks. He leaned back in his chair, twirling the stolen wand as he waited for the rest to register his words.
"Wait..." started Hermione, "What about the cloak?"
"Ah...smart lady you've got there, Potter. Well, Ignotus used the cloak of true invisibility to avoid death's touch for years. During that time, he built a life for himself. Married. Had children. The whole nine yards. When it finally came time for him to pass from old age, Ignotus welcomed death like a friend. Seeing what Ignotus had built for himself, Death allowed the cloak to be passed through the family. This family...the descendants of Ignotus Peverell...have since dwindled to one. And that final descendant is sitting right there."
Every eye turned to follow Jax's direction and fell on a flabbergasted Harry.
"Y-you mean my cloak is one of the Deathly Hallows?"
"That's right, bud. Bur don't worry, your family was, and still is, allowed to keep it."
"Quick question..." spoke up a tall black man, "you said the second-to-last horcrux was located." Seeing Jaxom's nod, he continued. "If that is the case, then where...and what is the last one?"
"Well...first you need to know that the seventh horcrux was never intended to be. It was created by sheer chance. When the truly evil intent of attempting to murder an infant coincided with the pure love it took to a mother to sacrifice herself for her child, it basically ripped a chunk of the would be murderer's soul out of his body. With no where to go, it latched on to the nearest thing it could find."
"So the final horcrux resides in the remnants of Godric's Hollow?" asked Dumbledore with a subtle tone of hope.
"No. Let me rephrase that. With no where to go, the piece of soul latched on to the nearest living thing it could find." He looked towards the ashen face of Harry Potter. "Didn't you ever wonder why you received a scar from a curse that leaves no mark. Didn't you ever wonder how that same scar could connect your's and Riddle's mind?'
"What are you trying to say?" asked Harry, his mind refusing to connect the dots as a gasp sounded from where Hermione sat. Suddenly, the boy-who-lived was enveloped in a bone-breaking hug. His face was shrouded behind a curtain of brown hair as tears soaked into his shoulder.
"Mione! What's wrong? Why are you crying?"
"Because there is a piece of the dark lord's soul embedded inside of the man she loves." stated Jaxom stoically. Hermione's tears doubled as she gasped and ran from the room. Throwing a shocked/angry look at Jax, Harry rose and made to follow his friend. However, Jax appeared beside him and caught his arm.
"Look, I know that you two need to have a talk, but right now wee need to go to Gringotts. Headmaster...if you would be so kind as to accompany us so that you are assured of Harry's safety?"
Without a word, the still shocked Dumbledore rose and placed his hand a blue-coated shoulder, being careful to avoid the still agitated fire lizard. A slight flash of light announced their departure as the rest of the order tried to wrap their mind around the afternoon's proceedings.
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Three humans and one fire lizard reappeared in a plush office. Looking around, Harry saw the many weapons, shields, and pieces of armor hanging on the walls. Directly across from an ornate golden door was a large desk made of what appeared to be black marble, inlaid with silver patters. Behind the desk sat the most intimidating goblin he had ever seen.
"What's happnin Raggie?" asked Jaxom, sitting before the desk and crossing his legs.
"Mr. Trantic. Must you disregard etiquette every time we meet?" asked the goblin in deep, gravelly voice. Not even Harry missed the slight twitch at the corner of his fanged mouth.
"It's what I do, sir." Jax replied with a smile. "Can we go ahead and get rid of this little piece of shit?"
Nodding, Ragnok snapped his long fingers. The golden door opened and a group of seven robed goblins entered. Jax led Harry to the center of the office where the small creatures surrounded him.
"Alright Harry. These sorcerers are go are going to extract the soul without killing you. This is gonna take a good two hours, so I'm gonna head out to complete my deal. Raggie...I'm gonna need a rain check on the ice cream, bud. Is later today okay?"
The leader of the goblin nation nodded, a slightly disappointed look on his face, and Jaxom left the office. As the golden door shut, the sorcerers began chanting in Gobbledegook. A dome of bright light erupted into being around Harry, obscuring from view.
"I suggest you make yourself comfortable, Headmaster." stated Ragnok, gesturing to a plush chair. "This will take a good long while."
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Two and a half hours had passed within number twelve Grimmauld place. Hermione Granger was currently ensconced in the farthest reaches of the Black family library, trying to decide what she was going to do.
She had no idea how this 'Jaxom' character had known her secret. Her love for Harry was something she was constantly attempting to hide, for fear of rejection. Now, not only had the strange man revealed that secret, but he'd revealed it to Harry himself.
So far, no one had come to check on her, leading her to believe that Harry had been revolted. Now she needed some way to dispel this. Some way to regain that supposedly lost friendship. Maybe she could...
"Hermione?" the sound of Remus Lupin's voice pulled her from her contemplations.
"In the back." she sullenly replied.
A few moments later, the tired face of the lycan came around one of the bookshelves. Seeing the depression girl he thought of as a surrogate daughter-in-law, he instantly went to her side and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
"He hates me, doesn't he?" she said after a few silent seconds.
"Who?"
"Harry. He thinks I'm just some stalker freak."
"No! Of course not. Why would you think that?"
"That 'Jaxom' man just revealed my biggest secret to Harry himself. I ran out sobbing, and you're the only one to come after me. He must be revolted."
"The reason he isn't here right now is because Jaxom took him and the Headmaster to Gringotts to have the horcrux removed. I waited so long to come after you so that you could have some time to think.. Apparently, that wasn't the right move. He does not hate you."
Any further conversation was foregone as a high-pitched "Harry!" sounded from the direction of the kitchen.
"Come on..." said the werewolf, pulling Hermione to her feet.
The pair made their way downstairs quietly. Entering the kitchen, they were both shocked speechless at the very different young man before them.
Gone was the malnourished, beaten appearance. Gone were the horrid glasses. Gone was the ugly scar. Gone was the shy, unsure demeanor. In its place stood a strong young man that exuded power. Vivid green eyes radiated from his face as they locked on Hermione's.
Without further ado, the new Harry Potter strolled forward and, pulling the startled young woman into his arms, locked their lips. Hermione stiffened, then melted into the strong arms. Neither noticed or cared about the shocked expressions or anger radiating from two pissed off red heads as they stormed up to them.
Before there was an altercation, however, a chuckle resonated through the silent room. Looking towards the hallway, everyone saw the smug Jaxom Trantic leaning on the door frame.
"Isn't it beautiful?" he asked, feigning a swooning motion. "Now, before any arguments break out, allow me to announce a successful and unnoticed trip to the department of mysteries."
"You broke into the DoM?" asked and incredulous Hestia Jones.
"Yup."
"You honestly expect us to believe that you, dressed as garishly as you are, snuck into the most secure department of the Ministry of Magic...during the workday?" demanded Arthur Weasley. "Surely you can't be serious."
"Oh, you better habeeb it. By the way, don't call me Shirley. And no, I'm not serious."
Jaxom stepped out of the doorway, pointing his finger over his shoulder.
"He is."
Through the open the door walked another man. Every jaw dropped at the sight of the still-scraggly black hair and gaunt, smirking, face. Harry's eyes filled with tears as he looked at a face he thought lost forever.
"S-s-sirius?"