January 14th 2008 - 35 weeks pregnant
Rory sat at her desk at the Stars Hollow Gazette, studying the ledger. "Bernie, this says that it actually cost us forty two cents a copy to run this week's issue."
The ancient man peered up from his ancient computer. "Only forty two cents this week? That's down from last week!"
Rory shook her head. The old man was nearing senility, and rarely made sense. "Why is it costing us? Shouldn't we be turning a profit?"
"We're not generating money like we used to, everyone has one of those dang computers now a days. . . . News at their fingertips. Not as much of a want for the physical Newspaper anymore."
She bit her lip, thinking of her new online subscription to the New York Times. She silently vowed to cancel the subscription and go back to her print purist roots. "But we can't possibly keep a business a float, if we're paying for people to buy our paper."
The old man rose up, hobbling over to her desk. "Cory. . ."
"Rory" she corrected him for the hundredth time.
He nodded. "Rory, I need to tell you. I'm entertaining some buyers for the paper."
"Buyers for the paper?"
"Someone who can take this dinosaur and bring it into the 20th century."
"It's 2008. It's already the 21st century."
"And our paper is two centuries behind."
"So, you're just looking for someone to help modernize the paper? I could do that. I graduated from Yale and. . ."
He shook his head. "Unless you have big bucks, that would be like handing the Titanic over to you. Cory, by Spring, I don't see us in circulation anymore."
His words felt like a medicine ball to the stomach. While she had not graduated Yale with the vision of running the quaint Stars Hollow Gazette, recently she had started to entertain the idea of her as editor, Ivy in a bassinet next to her, working with her until she was a little older and Rory could move onto something meatier. It was a roundabout way of fulfilling her dreams, while not sacrificing motherhood, but now it was gone.
"Cory? Cory, are you ok?" Bernie Roundbottom's voice called, waking her from her daydream.
Rory snapped to attention, nodding slowly.
"As I was saying, you'll probably be taking off here soon to have that youngin anyways."
"You're right Bernie" she choked. She pasted a fake smile on her face, silently dying inside. Once again,just as she had in that hospital room in Scottsdale, she felt lost. Something inside of her was nearly chomping at the bit to get back out there, into the fast paced world of journalism. However there was something inside equally gnawing to stay close to her baby, to her mom, to Luke, and Logan. Especially Logan. She hadn't voiced her thoughts or fears with him, but she knew this time, no matter what choice she made, Logan would follow her to the ends of the earth.
. . .
"What's that look for? I'd ask you if you did something slutty, but It's weird when you're actually with someone, and I live with you guys." Rory asked as she sauntered through the front door.
Lorelai's grin widened. "Check it out, I bought these little plastic babies for a baby shower game, where you freeze them in an ice tray and put them in guest drinks. The first person's whose ice melts and they shout "my water broke!" wins. Of course your grandmother wouldn't go for it, so now I'm stuck with 500 tiny plastic babies. So I've been hiding them around the house in random spots for Luke to find. I just started hiding them last night and he's already over it."
"LORELAI!"Luke bellowed from the kitchen.
Lorelai stifled a giggle. "I think he just found the ones in his spinach."
"You know, He must really love you." Rory said as she sat down on the couch.
Lorelai smiled. "Until he puts his slippers on tonight and BAM! Toe full of babies."
"You know those are a choking hazard, not only for Ivy, but for Paul Anka." Rory said, shaking her head.
Lorelai stuck her tongue out. "First off, Ivy isn't even born yet, and Paul Anka is scared of anything that resembles a small human."
"WHY ARE THERE PLASTIC BABIES IN THE FLOUR?!" Luke yelled from the kitchen.
Lorelai snorted. "I don't think 500 are enough. I may need to buy more."
"You are truly a deranged woman."
"And I'm going to be Ivy's favorite person." Lorelai smirked. "Hey, what are you doing tonight? Want to grab dinner at Teriyaki Joe's? Luke has a delivery at seven, and I want to hide some babies around the diner while he's talking to the delivery guy."
Rory smiled. "While I would love to help you drive Luke certifiably insane, I'm actually meeting up with Logan." Ever since Bernie dropped the bomb on her this morning, Rory had been in a funk. Logan had instantly picked up on this when he called, and immediately made dinner plans for them.
"Logan huh? You two have been seeing a lot of each other here lately."
Rory's cheeks instantly glowed a bright cherry red. She crossed her arms defensively. "Yeah. . . . well . . . .I mean we are having a baby together."
Lorelai threw her hands up in surrender. "Whoa there guilty conscience. I was just stating facts."
"I don't get why everyone keeps pressuring us to be together, Maybe we just want to take it slow." Rory snapped.
"Hey what's that about? I just noticed you two spending a lot of time together. . . that's all."
Rory teetered on the edge of tears. She swallowed hard. "Mom, I'm really scared."
"Scared to have the baby?"
She shook her head. "No. . . well yes that too, but that's not what I'm talking about right now. I'm happy. . . like really happy. Like the happiest I've ever been."
"And what exactly scares you about that?"
"Happiness always comes with a catch. When I started dating Jess, his grades slipped and he just left. When you opened the inn, I screwed up royally with Dean. When I got closer to Logan,I dropped out of college and stole a boat. When I graduated college, Logan broke up with me. When I started working for the campaign trail, I found out I was pregnant. There's a little voice in the back of my head screaming that there's consequences for me being this happy." the words fell from her mouth like word vomit, her stomach instantly relieved when she confessed.
Lorelai pulled her into her chest, kissing the top of her head softly. "Hey. . . come on now. Those things all happened, yes, but it is not a punishment for you being happy. You have highs and you have lows. Everyone does. Sometimes you just feel stuff and that's ok. Things happen , and they're not a sign, not a bigger picture, they're just things and you're just happy and that's ok."
Rory pulled away, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. "I just. . . don't want to lose him. I'm scared at how close me and Logan have grown in such a short time. . . . it's like breathing to me now. . I need him. If he left. . . if he stopped loving me. . . mom, I don't think I could handle that."
"Oh Rory!" Lorelai said scooting over to the couch, hugging Rory tight. "He is not going to ever stop loving you."
"How do you know?" Rory sniffled.
"He's in it for the long haul, trust me."
"But how do you know. . . I mean, I need to go on something other than intuition."
"I can tell by the way you look at each other."
"The way we look at each other?"
" Your dad looked at me like a bright yellow canary I kept in a cage. He was there at the beginning, but out of necessity, and it showed. Logan doesn't look trapped. Logan looks at you like you're the only person in the room, like you're the sun and he's a daisy. You do it too. You absolutely beam when his name shows up on the caller ID, I mean you're like a freaking lighthouse. Those big feelings you feel, he feels them too. It's real."
"I. . . I'm just. . . "
"I know you're scared. But listen. The moment I met Luke, I felt something. Something big, something powerful, something real. And it scared me. Like really scared me. Like Scared me worse than Kirk at Miss Patty's haunted house. So I ran from it. I always knew it was there, but it took me years to finally come to my senses. I know I don't tell you what to do romantically, but please, I'm begging you, don't squander this away. I don't want you to miss out on your happy ever after, because you're scared. He loves you Rory, he does. I know it, and deep down, you know it too."
Rory hugged Lorelai tight. "Thanks Mom."
Lorelai shrugged, "it's what mom's do."
Rory laid back, sighing. "I've got lots to learn, good thing I have a great role model. "
…
The paper lining the table was rough and itchy against Rory's bare thigh. She shivered, pulling the paper gown tighter around her. Why were hospitals always so cold? Logan stood in the corner, pretending to be engrossed in a diagram depicting the dilation of the cervix.
"Kind of takes away the fun of the nurse costume lingerie I wore that one time huh?"
Logan's eyes bulged from his head. "ACE!" he choked, "you can't bring that up just anywhere!"
Rory smiled. It had been Halloween weekend and after a few too many drinks, she was feeling a little spicy and had finally given into Logan's request. He had begged her to wear it again every time after that, all the way until they had broken up. "Glad to see it still has that effect on you."
Logan turned to fully face her. "You could wear a paper bag and it would have that effect on me."
She playfully rubbed her paper gown. "Today's your lucky day then, Look it's even two ply."
He walked over to the table, rubbing the thin paper between his fingers. "It even opens in the front."
Rory's stomach flip flop. "Only you could make a doctor's office paper robe into dirty talk."
He leaned in, so close that Rory could feel his warm breath on her cheek. "You started it."
"Well I wish you would finish it." she said, her voice barely a whisper.
"Wait until we get home." he muttered breathlessly. He brought his lips to hers, kissing her softly.
Just then the door opened, sending Logan scattering. Rory fumbled with her paper robe, red cheeked and flustered.
"Too much of that will send you into preterm labor!" the doctor joked, causing Rory's cheeks to burn even brighter.
"We. . . uh. . .I. . ." Rory stammered.
The doctor shook his head. "You're fine! Keeps me in business." he laughed heartily. He picked up Rory's chart. "Now let's look at those test results." He studied the paper for a minute, chewing his pen. "Your numbers look a little high. not the best but not the worst."
"That's ok though right?" Logan interjected.
He glanced at Rory's swollen legs and feet. "I'm still not thrilled about the swelling. Swelling is normal, but this much isn't."
Rory glanced over at Logan, worried.
"I think we need to start talking about induction."
Rory nodded, her body full of panic. Her mind was racing a mile a minute. "Induction?"
"While we prefer for the baby to bake as long as it wants, I think you're in the beginning stages of preeclampsia."
Rory's face went white as a sheet. She had read enough to know that preeclampsia was serious, and could even be fatal if left untreated long enough.
"Induction comes with its own risk. Failed induction, Low fetal heart rate, infection, Uterine rupture, Severe Bleeding after delivery.We can play it by ear and test your numbers again in a few days, but in my personal opinion I feel like she needs to come out sooner rather than later."
Rory glanced at Logan and he nodded, his eyes wide and scared. She turned to the doctor. "Let's go ahead and induce."
"Ok great. I'm going to send you to Labor and Delivery to get you checked in. Go home, get your bags, and then head on over to the hospital.'
Rory swallowed hard. She was suddenly aware that Logan was next to her, his hand rubbing her back in small, comforting circles.
The doctor smiled. "Let's get ready to meet your baby girl!"