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Chapter 14: Crossing a Line

Dear Peter,

Words cannot express how grateful I am to you, my friend. The way you and Charlotte opened your home to me is a kindness I'll never be able to repay. So please don't take my leaving personally.

You, more than anyone, know of my past with Maria. How she had me so foolishly believing that what we had was love. It wasn't until you told me about Charlotte, and I felt every emotion you felt for her, that I realized how wrong I'd been. After all these years, I'm so happy to see that your feelings, and her own, haven't changed. If anything, the bond you have formed shines brighter than ever before. I never thought I'd experience a love like that. I believed my friendship with Alice and our general attraction to each other was as close as I'd ever be allowed to the paradise I'd seen through your eyes.

Until I met her. My Isabella.

I know now what it is to have another person consume your every thought. To feel the need to protect them at all costs, because the thought of living without them is a fate worse than death. And that is the hell I'm living now. To protect her, I have to live without her.

Living in your paradise, seeing you and Charlotte, feeling the love that binds you together... I can't think, I can't breathe for the pain of having it all taken from me in one horrendous night.

So while I appreciate all you've done, brother, I cannot stay. I will let you know where I am from time to time.

Until we meet again,

Jasper Whitlock

Her dream still drifted about her like a heavy fog. Red hair. A wolf's howl. Gnashing of teeth and a threatening hiss. A blur of russet fur nearly flying through the forest and leaping to tackle the redhead to the ground. Then her dad... broken and exhausted with tears in his eyes.

She needed a fucking break. A break from thinking. From being afraid of Victoria, from missing Jasper, from wondering if Jacob was safe, from seeing her dad look so beaten down by a world he didn't even know existed...

The wind whipped around her, cool on her flushed face. She kicked off her shoes and her hooded sweatshirt. Jacob had called cliff diving a huge rush. And that's what she needed.

She stepped closer to the edge.

"Bella. You're smarter than this. C'mon, darlin'."

Her eyes flooded with tears and she shook her head. "No. No! You don't get to have an opinion on my life anymore. Not since you walked out of it!"

Her heart was pounding. Doubt began to creep into her mind. For the first time, she wondered if the adrenaline rush was really worth it. Didn't Jacob say they used to jump from farther down? She really wasn't even that good of a swimmer...

"Do you still love me?"

Her runaway train of thought slammed to a halt. "What?"

"Do you still love me, Bella?"

She closed her eyes. Tears that had been held at bay slipped free. "Of course."

"Then don't do this. Wait. Just a few more seconds. Please, darlin'."

Bella frowned. "No. You wouldn't listen to me, so why should I listen to you?"

She turned back toward the cliff and the churning water below. It was now or never.

One.

Two.

A thunderous crash shattered the stillness and her concentration as a giant wolf leapt from the trees and positioned itself between her and the edge.

Bella fell back in surprise, but recognized the dark brown eyes staring back at her. "Jacob! What hell, man? You scared the shit out of me!"

He lowered his head and growled at her.

"Oh fuck no, you don't growl at me, you big overgrown chihuahua!"

He snorted a laugh and she rolled her eyes. "Yeah, real funny. Give me a ride back to my truck. I've had enough of you two idiots today."

He raised his eyebrow at her but knelt so she could climb onto his back. Soon enough, he dropped her at the truck and disappeared into the woods to shift back into his human form. She leaned against the driver side door to wait, wrapping her arms around her. The misty rain made her sweatshirt damp and she would give anything for Jasper's leather jacket right about now.

"Are you insane?" Jacob snapped, coming back out of the trees and taking her away from her warm and cozy thoughts. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"Hey! I was-"

The rest of her argument was cut off by Jacob nearly squeezing the life out of her. "Don't scare me like that again," he whispered, burying his nose in her hair. She settled into his embrace, the fight quickly going out of her. "That high up could've killed you, Bella."

She could feel his heart racing faster than usual and hugged him back tightly. "I'm sorry. I'm here. I'm okay."

He pressed a kiss to her head as he pulled away. "Let's get you home. Your dad's been looking for you too."

He opened the door for her, but she stopped him. "Is everything okay? What happened?"

Jacob sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Harry Clearwater... he's in the hospital. Heart attack."

"Oh my God. My dad..."

"He's pretty shaken up. He's there now with my dad. I told him I'd find you and make sure you got home safe."

Wordlessly, she slid across to the passenger side and he climbed in behind the wheel. "So, um... is Harry gonna be okay?"

"They don't know. I hope so."

She nodded and tried to curl herself into a ball. The heat in her truck took a while to kick on and she couldn't help the occasional shiver. Jacob noticed. "One hundred and eight degrees over here."

She scooted over to tuck herself under his arm. "Must be nice, never getting cold."

She felt him shrug slightly. "It's a wolf thing."

"Nope. Jacob thing. You're just... you've always been... warm."

Jacob grinned, remembering. "Like the sun?"

"Like the sun," she smiled.

"Which always comes back. You can count on me."

She nods. He's so warm, and she's so tired, she nearly falls asleep, until he says, "There are other cool things about this, like... I heal fast. Wanna see me stab my hand?"

"Right, cause that sounds so fun," she scoffed and smacked his chest. "What's wrong with you?"

They pulled up to the house. The porch light was on, but otherwise it was as dark inside as it was outside. Jacob cut the engine and turned to wrap both arms around her. And, well... she didn't really mind. With all the wolf stuff and hunting down Victoria, she hadn't gotten to see him lately, and she'd missed him. "So," she said, "this wolf thing's not all bad?"

"It's better now that you know, but..."

"But?"

"It just... it comes so easily to me. More so than the other guys."

"And that's... bad?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Just sometimes it kinda makes me feel like I'm less human, y'know? Sometimes I'm afraid I might disappear. Who I really am, I mean."

She reached up and placed her hand against his cheek, bringing his gaze back down to hers. "Hey, I won't let that happen, okay?"

He nodded. They were so close. Too close.

She dropped her hand and quickly slid back to the passenger side. "So, um, thanks for driving. For everything, really."

"Sure, sure," Jacob gave her a small smile, but it turned to disgust when she opened the door. "Holy shit!"

He pulled Bella back in and started the truck. "Jake, what-"

"There's a bloodsucker out there. I can smell it. I'm getting you out of here."

Bella looked around, trying to see what he was talking about, when she noticed a black Mercedes in the driveway.

"Stop! It's not Victoria! That's Carlisle's car."

Jacob was already pulling away from the house. "It's a trick, Bella!"

"Stop the car!"

"Bella-" he slammed on the brakes when she threw open the door and dove out. "Dammit, Bella!"

He jumped out of the truck and hurried to get in front of her. "Bella, stop. You gotta come with me."

"It's okay! They're my friends."

"Don't you get it?" he growled. "If a Cullen is back here, this is their territory. The Treaty says we can only defend our own lands..."

She shook her head. "It's not a war, Jake."

"It is, Bella!" he nearly shouted. "One that started long before you or me! But we're in it, so I can't protect you here. You'll only be safe in La Push."

She sighed. "I'm safe with the Cullens. It doesn't have to be this way..."

He ignored her. "You're about to cross a line."

Bella held his stare. She knew it didn't have to be this way, no matter what he said. Just because it always had been, didn't mean it had to continue. "Only if you draw one."

He didn't move, but didn't say anything either. She sighed and went to step around him, but he grabbed her arm. "I'm not letting you do this."

She yanked her arm free. "It's not your choice. I don't belong to you, Jacob."

He clenched his jaw and moved back from her. The distance felt like miles instead of feet.

He took one last look at her and shook his head. "Bye, Bella."

She watched him run down the road and off into the trees back toward La Push. She sighed and turned back toward the house.

At least, she tried to turn back toward the house, but was met with a wall of ice. Her heart jumped into her throat, but she found a familiar face and golden eyes staring back at her. "Alice!"

"Bella, you're... you're alive?"