CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you

I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

I've been sleeping so long in a twenty-year dark night

And now I see daylight

~ Taylor Swift, Daylight

EPOV

When you had a dog, you got used to the sounds of them in the house. Each one had a unique clink of their dog tags as they walked, their paws sounded different and distinct as they walked across the hardwood floors, their barks were each as telling as the sound of a person's voice.

So, when Bella and I walked in the front door and there was a third, wholly different sound of a collar jingling and paws prancing across the floor, I braced myself.

I should have known better than to leave Masen in charge of the house for the two days we were gone for Emmett and Rose's wedding.

Bella gasped, dropping my hand and immediately falling to the ground as a short and stubby little dog marched right over to her. The corgi had a golden-tan body, a few shades brighter than Lady's coloring, that morphed into a white stomach and short little legs.

"Well, hello," Bella cooed, smiling as the dog buried its nose in her hair and sniffed.

I dropped our bags on the landing of the stairs and wandered down the hall toward the living room. The same living room where I caught my daughter and her boyfriend the last time I left her in charge of the house. Where I now got to see my son frantically pulling his shirt over his head while a woman beside him did the same.

"Jesus Christ," I groaned, tugging my fingers through my hair.

Masen mimicked the motion, having the sense to look slightly guilty. "Hey. House is still standing, as promised."

"There's also an extra dog," I added. "And I'm fairly certain I explicitly said no more dogs."

"He's mine. I'm sorry. Masen said it was okay to bring him over," the girl beside him said. Her cheeks were flushed, hazel eyes wide and worried.

"Oh," Bella sighed sadly, coming up beside me. Her eyes were on the dog that had followed her in, but walked right up to the woman beside Masen.

I eyed her with a raised brow. "You want another dog?"

I had never been an animal person before I saw Lady sitting beside Bella on the porch of her fathers diner in Forks so long ago. I watched as Lady nudged Bella's hand and scooted herself right up beside her and fell just as in love with her as Bella was. Then Gus showed up, as fierce of a protector of Bella and Lady as he was a complete goofball. Gus and Lady were part of the family, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Three dogs would be a hell of a lot of work on top of a newborn, though.

"If a dog showed up here that needed a home I wouldn't turn it away," she mumbled.

I saw the glimmer in Masen's eyes. "You know, there's this–"

"I think we're going to cap it at two dogs for now," I told them, my palm resting on Bella's back.

Bella sighed, seeming to take in the scene before her for the first time. Her eyes darted from Masen's wrinkled and haphazard clothing to that of his friend before she looked up at me. "If it makes you feel any better, I don't think I went to college with her."

I coughed out a laugh.

Masen cleared his throat. "Dad, Bella, this is Violet."

"Oh!" Bella gasped. "Violet Carlton."

My eyes widened down at her. "Shit, did you go to college with her?"
Bella smiled up at me but shook her head. "No. She was a volunteer at the animal shelter."

Masen beamed over at the girl. "Violet actually runs the place, now."

Violet scoffed. "I'm just one of the few people actually paid to work there. I'm not running the place."

"It's nice to meet you, Violet," I told her with a smile. While I wasn't loving the habit of walking in on my children doing god knows what in my living room, they were growing up. Grown, really. And if they were happy, I was happy.

She gave me a slightly hesitant smile in return. "It's nice to meet you too, Mr. Cullen."

Bella did a horrendous job at trying to cover up her snort with a cough.

"It's late," Masen hedged. "I was thinking Violet could–"

"Stay in the guest room if she would like," I finished for him.

"You know, when you were my age you had two four-year-olds."

I raised my brows at him. "Exactly. Which is why I get to make the decisions."

Masen opened his mouth to argue, but Violet beat him to it. "I appreciate it, Mr. Cullen, but Ollie and I should get home."

"Ollie," Bella sighed, attention falling back to the corgi. "Adorable."

Violet left soon thereafter and Bella retreated to bed with a yawn, Lady prancing along beside her up the stairs. Masen hesitated across the kitchen island from me.

"Look," I sighed, leaning on the marble. "I know you're twenty-one and can make your own decisions. But, for the love of god, please don't make me a grandfather any time soon."

Just saying the word out loud had my head spinning. I owed my parents another apology for making them grandparents in their early forties.

Masen nodded his agreement a moment before he burst out in a loud laugh. "Can you imagine Bella as a grandmother at twenty-six?"

I shook my head, but all I could really focus on was the fact that he would think of Bella as the grandmother of any of his kids. Masen and Lucy were never going to call her Mom, and I knew Bella never really wanted that from them in the first place. They were all friends, Bella would do anything for them and they would do anything for her.

But it could have been the opposite. Masen and Lucy each had a hard time with the divorce in their own way and I knew it could have been a hell of a lot harder for them to accept Bella. So the fact that he so casually called her the grandmother of his children, even as a joke about making her a grandmother at twenty-six, had me forgetting any frustration at the scene we walked in on this evening.

.M.

Sometimes it still took me by surprise, seeing my wife walking toward me with a very obvious pregnant belly. It had transformed into a much more prominent feature in the last couple weeks. She was pushing twenty-three weeks pregnant and so the delicate curve of her abdomen was now very much a bump.

It was still on the smaller side. Something Bella had nervously asked about at her last doctor appointment. But everything and everyone was healthy. A million different things factored into the size of the bump.

The dress she wore today hugged it perfectly, though, stopping me in my tracks as she walked toward me. I didn't even bother to acknowledge the two people with her, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her against me as soon as she was close enough.

I pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"Do you have a few minutes?" she asked, not bothering to step out of my hold.

I finally noticed the people with her. Leon stood beside a man who was vaguely familiar, but one I couldn't place.

"Of course," I nodded, keeping my arm tight around her as we walked back toward my office. I bypassed the desk and led us all to the small seating area to the side. Bella sat in an armchair while I perched on the arm rest. Leon and the other man took the couch.

"This is Ben," Bella said. "He's going to be taking over for me for The Tonight Show. Until I go back to work," she added definitively.

The other man, Ben, smiled and reached his hand out toward me. "Ben Cheney," he said. "Nice to meet you."

My hand froze in his. "Cheney? From Newton & Cheney?"

I felt everyone in the room brace for impact. I had cultivated a reputation for being difficult to work with years ago and I wasn't afraid to go back to it. Newton might have been the problem before, but I sure as hell wasn't going to willingly work with the company that had fired Bella after–

"Just Cheney, now. Both Newton's are gone," Ben clarified. "My dad got rid of the, what did you call him? Misogynic prick?" he asked, looking toward Bella.

She pressed her lips together before hesitantly correcting him. "Insufferable misogynic prick."

Ben laughed. "My dad got rid of the insufferable misogynic prick and his son about a year ago."

That was better. Maybe.

Bella nudged my leg with hers.

"Ben has worked on a few other programs for the network," Leon added. "And was on the list of preapproved replacements Bella sent me a few weeks ago."

I held back my laugh. Chelsea, the woman Leon had originally vetted to take the position, had barely survived the dinner with Bella, Leon, and myself. Bella's original motives for not wanting the woman to take over might have been menial but by the time Bella was done questioning her on her experience and giving her sample scenarios to see what she would do it was obvious to everyone at the table she wasn't going to work.

Bella had been giddy as she got in the car after dinner.

"We graduated together," Bella said. "So I know he actually knows what he's doing."

"Then I promise to be on my best behavior," I told her, sending her a wink.

Bella stayed back as Leon and Ben left.

"I'm glad you're here," I said, switching the subject from her replacement that was obviously still a slightly sore subject for her. I grabbed my car keys off of my desk and handed them to her. "Seth and I have an errand to run after work. I was going to have Masen come pick up the car and you but–"

"You mean I'm allowed to drive myself home?" she asked, though I could have sworn I saw a hint of disappointment in her eyes.

I pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Just for tonight."

.M.

Should I have told my wife I was buying two new SUVs for us? Probably. It would have deprived me of the adorable look of shock on her face as I brought her outside to see them, though.

In my defense, I hadn't brought up the subject of a new car since she refused to let me buy her one years ago when her trusty little Volvo broke down.

Masen followed her out of the house, his face full of excitement as he went over to Seth to ask about the details.

Bella stood beside me, frowning down at the new, shiny white SUV in front of her. "I have a car," she told me. "And you don't even let me drive it."

"Well, I'm hoping by the time you're driving this one your dizziness will be long gone."

They were both the same make and model. Both with just about every single safety feature a car could have. One black, one white.

"But what's wrong with my other one?"

"Nothing," I told her. "You can still drive that one whenever you want. Whenever we take the baby out, though…"

"But… I mean, I'm pretty sure a baby will fit in my other car."

I nodded. "Technically, yes."

She frowned up at me.

"This one is bigger. It'll be easier to put a carseat in and there will be enough room for every diaper bag or change of clothes or stroller we could possibly need. It's also," I shrugged, unsure how she would react. "It's got more safety upgrades. Just in case."

She could have taken offense to it, because she bought her other car and wasn't willing or able to spend as much on every possible upgrade. Didn't care to, either.

Her face softened, though. Eyes darting from me to the car, then back to me.

"Then why are there two?" she asked, voice quiet. "If we only have one baby?"

There was no way around the answer to this one. "Well, you have one. And I have one."

"But… we only have one baby. It's not going to be in two cars at once."

I shrugged. "This way we won't need to keep adjusting the seat."

Bella pressed her lips together to hold in a laugh. "You bought two cars because I'm short and you didn't want to have to keep pushing the seat back?"

It might have sounded a little ridiculous when she said it. But I stood by my decision.

Bella's eyes met mine. Deep chocolate pools that were threatening to overflow with tears. Because I knew she was deflecting.

She didn't care about the price or the fact that there were two cars. She cared that I cared. That her safety and the safety of our daughter was more important to me than anything else.

She pressed her lips together again, blinking away the moisture in her eyes. "Which one is mine?"

I smiled down at her. "Whichever one you want."

She chose the white.

.M.

She watched me closely for the rest of the night. Her eyes lingered as we ate dinner, always keeping me in her periphery as we cleaned up the kitchen together. Even stayed glued to me as I brushed my teeth beside her in our ensuite at the end of the night.

It was how most nights progressed ever since her fatigue let up and was replaced by unrelenting sexual frustration. I was now the one usually plagued by exhaustion during the day, but I was hardly complaining.

Only a goddamn idiot would complain about something as menial as being tired when the woman keeping him up at night looked at them with those heavy, chocolate eyes.

The eyes were different tonight, though. Darkened by a hint of something else. Something that made her hesitate and fumble with her toothpaste and try to skitter out of the bathroom when she was done.

"Hey." I grabbed her arm as she tried to brush past me. "What is it?"

She sighed, big brown eyes staring up at me. Then buried herself against my chest, arms tight around my waist as she held me close.

"I love you," she mumbled against my chest.

I pressed my lips to her temple. "I love you."

She pulled away hesitantly, finally looking up at me with a tentative smile. "I know."

I brushed my fingers through her hair, through the wild waves it had become lately. Before I could ask her if she was alright, she stretched on her toes and pressed her lips to mine. It wasn't the frantic, desperate kiss I had been expecting earlier. It was sweet and soft and tentative. No less needy, though, because we both refused to let it end.

I wrapped my fingers around her thighs, taking advantage of the fact that I was still able to simply wrap her legs around my waist and carry her to bed without her bump complicating things.

I took her slowly. Enjoyed every whimper she let out, savored each indent her nails left in my bicep and each scratch down my back. And fell asleep with her steady breath against my neck and my hand resting comfortably against her abdomen.

.M.

The bedroom was too still, the bed too cold. I had grown used to the not-so-soft snores that came from Bella these days and the complete silence was too quiet for me to sleep. I liked the noise. Liked knowing she was there, even when I was half-asleep with a mind that could only process the gentle hum of her snoring.

My eyes popped open to the empty bed beside me. The lack of light coming from the ensuite told me she wasn't in the bathroom either.

The clock flashed one-thirty-seven.

I ran my fingers through my hair. I got out of bed, pulling on my discarded sweatpants and followed the trail of open doors before I found her.

The spare bedroom was empty, save for a cluster of tiny sample paint cans cluttering the corner. I had painted a few swatches of each of Bella's favorites to let her choose which she liked best for the nursery a few weeks ago.

Tonight, Bella sat on the floor against the far wall. She had a cream blanket wrapped around her shoulders, part of it carefully spread out on the floor beside her for Lady to rest on. I leaned down to pet Gus' head where he laid in the hall outside the door, watching out for both of them from a distance. I relieved him from his guard duty and knocked softly on the door jam.

Bella's head snapped in my direction. Her eyes looked dry but still too sad for my liking.

"Mind if I join you?"

She nodded, eyes falling down to her fingers as she tugged at a loose string on the blanket until she carefully satiated it over my shoulders as I sat down beside her.

"Did I wake you?" she asked softly.

"It was too quiet without your snoring," I admitted with a smile, hoping to get one in return.

Bella grimaced. "I woke myself up with it. I thought coming in here would help you sleep better for a while."

"You didn't have to do that."

Bella sighed, and I knew it was the smallest reason she had ended up out of bed in the middle of the night. The easiest reason to explain.

I could still see it on her face sometimes, that confusion. The one eighteen years' worth of neglect and physical and emotional abuse left her with. It had been hidden in her eyes from the moment I told her the main reason I got us those SUVs was for the safety of them.

I knew it would always be there, just as I knew there was absolutely nothing I could do or say to make it go away. She had heard it all before. She knew I loved her. That I cared. That her safety meant more to me than just about anything in the world, and the same went for our daughter.

But I couldn't fathom what it took her to constantly let those thoughts win on a daily basis. How hard it must be for her to let go of the past. And I knew the pregnancy on top of all of that was more than overwhelming.

I didn't bother to repeat any of the things she already knew were true. I didn't tell her it was okay because it wasn't–her childhood wasn't okay.

I grabbed her hand, intertwining our fingers and giving her palm a gentle squeeze. Because it wasn't okay, but she wasn't alone anymore either.

Eventually her head fell to my shoulder. I pressed my lips to her temple.

"Edward?" she mumbled.

"Hmm?"

She sighed. "I don't like any of those colors anymore."

I smiled against her hair. "We'll pick some more out tomorrow."

A/N: an early update to say I appreciate everyone still sticking with me. I hope you guys enjoyed this one, I'll see you next time!