Chapter 185 – Dinner Reservations part 2
"I think I need to have a sit down with Jack." Frank said. "I am not saying that Elizabeth is wrong for Jack, but he needs to put the breaks on. It sounds like she has never had a chance to figure out who she is outside of her father's daughter. She needs time and the last thing that either of them need is to add a baby to the mix."
"Good luck." Nathan said. "They are pushing for an August wedding. They have even submitted a petition to the Bishop seeking permission and asking him to waive the six-month waiting period."
Frank closed his eyes and said a prayer.
"Let's not talk about this right now." Frank said. "I will have a conversation with Jack."
"Okay." Doug said. "I will pray for you."
"Me too." Nathan said.
The guys sat and enjoyed each other's company. They had finished their meals and were debating ordering dessert. They were finishing their wine and trying to decide what their next step was. It didn't matter that they had been for almost two hours.
Over their meal, Jack and Elizabeth's conversation had turned to heavier topics as well. They hadn't meant for that to happen, but one thing led to another.
"So what happens if we get married in August?" Elizabeth asked.
"What do you mean?" Jack asked.
"School? Living arrangements?" Elizabeth said. "Your family? My family? Charlie?"
"School won't be an issue." Jack said. "There may be paperwork that we need to do, you know name change and current address. Things like that. I don't see a problem going to school and being married. There is no rule that says we can't."
"Okay." Elizabeth said. "I guess I can see that. I just thought college was about finding yourself."
"In part." Jack said. "I will never stop you from making friends or hanging out with people you want to. I just might insist on security or something like that."
"Okay." Elizabeth said. "What happens if I get pregnant?"
"And?" Jack said.
"Won't I have to quit school?" Elizabeth asked.
"No." Jack said. "You may take some time off or take fewer classes for one semester, but you can still go to school. We can hire someone to be with the baby while you are in class and need to study."
"Oh, okay." Elizabeth said. "What about your family and mine?"
"What about them?" Jack asked. "Other than the papers that say Dad is still part owner of Thornton Thoroughbreds, I am not going to have anything to do with them until they can learn to accept my choices. I am sorry if that sounds harsh, but it was a long time coming. I am just sorry that they used you as an excuse. It is so far from the truth. Many of my plans had been in the works for a very long time before you came into my life.
It was also not the first time that I had it out with my parents, well Ma at least. It is the first time that I had someone there to back me up and I think I actually got through to her that I was an adult and she couldn't micromanage my life anymore. Like I said it was months, maybe a year in the making. It just so happened that everything happened while you were there and that is why Ma blamed you. She has always had her own ideas about things. I was never going to be the person that she has in her head. One, I could never live up to her impossible standards. Two, I had learned a long time ago that I needed to do what was right for me, no matter what her reaction was going to be."
"I can see that." Elizabeth said. "What about my family and Charlie? They are not going to let this drop. I have no idea why Charlie is so obsessed with me and why my father has been going along with it."
"I am looking into that." Jack said. "So far, I don't have any answers. I am going to say the same thing I said before. You don't have to have contact with anyone that you don't want. Would I like to see you try to repair your relationship, yes. Just as I am sure that you would like me to try and repair my relationship with my parents. All I am going to say is that we can't live to please other people, our spouse included. Should we talk to them and take their feelings, wants and needs into consideration before making a decision – yes. But happiness needs to come from within us and can't be dependent on external factors. Does that make sense?"
"I guess it does." Elizabeth said. "I just don't want to feel like I can't go places and do things because of security concerns."
"I understand." Jack said. "I also think that things will be better in time. Will there still be things that come up, yes. But for the most part, now that Charlie is in custody and going to stay there for the foreseeable future, I think we have less to worry about."
"I will try." Elizabeth said.
"How about this?" Jack said. "Let's table this discussion for the time being. We order that chocolate cake you were looking at and have some pleasant conversation before heading back to the suite. We can talk about heavier things there."
Elizabeth smiled when Jack mentioned the chocolate cake.
"I can agree to that." Elizabeth said.
Jack got the attention of their waitress. When she came over, Jack ordered a piece of the King's cake which was a thirteen layer chocolate Cake, sixty-four percent Guayaquil Ganache, hazelnut chocolate butter cream, vanilla ice cream, and chocolate sauce. Jack also got two boxes as he knew they wouldn't finish the cake and they also had stuff from their charcuterie board. Jack didn't like wasting food and knew they could snack on it later. The suite had a fridge, so he wasn't worried.
The waitress brought the piece of cake, drizzled the chocolate sauce on in front of them, then left them. She set the two boxes and the check on the table as she left. Jack took a bite of the ice cream and the cake, just to try it. He then boxed up the stuff from the charcuterie board. Elizabeth was able to eat about a third of the cake before she said she was done. She carefully helped Jack put it in the large box. Jack put his card in the folder with the check. They sat there waiting for a bit. You could tell that something had changed, because they weren't sitting as close as they had been during the meal. Jack wasn't sure what upset Elizabeth, but he knew that they would have to wait until they got to the room to talk about it. He wasn't going to start a fight in the middle of the restaurant.
It didn't take long and they were headed down a floor and to their suite. Jack knew that he was going to have to tread lightly, but he was going to get to the bottom of why Elizabeth was upset. When they got to the suite, Elizabeth immediately went and changed from her dress to something more comfortable. Jack put the food in the fridge and then sat on the couch. He kept going over the evening in this mind. He wasn't sure what he had done, but he was sure he had said something. After about ten minutes, Elizabeth came back out wearing pajama pants and sweatshirt. She took a seat on the couch. But she sat about as far as she could get from Jack. She gave him one glance then turned her attention to the tv program that Jack had turned on. Jack took a deep breath and then went and sat in Elizabeth's line of sight.
"What happened?" Jack asked. "Why are you upset?"
Elizabeth didn't say anything, but looked past Jack. She wasn't sure she could explain why she was upset.
"Just drop it." Elizabeth said, flatly.
"No." Jack said. "You are upset and I have figured out that it was something that I said or did."
Elizabeth sat there silently for a few moments. She realized that Jack wasn't going to drop it and he was going to sit there until she talked to him.
"Fine." Elizabeth said. "I don't understand why I can't do certain things because you are Catholic. I feel like if we get married in August, that I am going to get pregnant and then I am going to be stuck as just a wife and mother. For some reason, my head keeps telling me that I will be stuck raising the kids while you are living the life you want."
"I told you that I would never tell you that you have to stop working if that is what you want." Jack said. "I don't know where this is all coming from. Will things look different if we get married and you get pregnant quickly, yes. But that is not the end of the world. We will adjust. It isn't like we can't afford help."
"I hear what you are saying." Elizabeth said. "I am just struggling to believe it after years of my father telling me that I will be nothing but a wife and mother. I just got away from him. And I know that it is because of you that I have been able to get away from my father, but I can't escape the voice in my head that had been drilled in there for years."
"Elizabeth." Jack said.
"No!" Elizabeth said, in a raised voice.
Jack stopped and looked at Elizabeth.
"You tell me that I can't use birth control, because of your religion." Elizabeth said. "To me it is the same as my mother telling me that I have to be on it to live in her house. I feel like my choices are being taken away from me."
Jack wasn't sure what to say. Jack stood up and started pacing. He wasn't sure that he would be able to explain things right. Frank, Doug and Nathan happened to come into the suite when Elizabeth was yelling. Frank motioned to Doug to take Jack. Frank went over and sat down near Elizabeth. Nathan stayed as well, but hung back. Doug led Jack over to another part of the suite. Frank said a quick prayer and then looked at Elizabeth.
"Elizabeth." Frank said. "I couldn't help but overhear. Let's take it back a couple of steps."
Elizabeth nodded.
"I know that you love Jack." Frank said.
"Very much." Elizabeth said.
"Part of the reason that you love Jack is because of his faith." Frank said.
Elizabeth went to open her mouth and Frank held up his hand.
"Just hear me out." Frank said.
Elizabeth nodded. By that point, he could see that Doug had Jack seated at the table. He closed his eyes and once again said a quick prayer.
"I get that you are struggling with things." Frank said. "Part of that is because you are young and part of it is because of what you have been through. I know that you and Jack want to get married, but right now, until you can work through some of these issues you need to be thinking about waiting a little longer. Again, just listen to me."
Frank motioned for Nathan to come over near him. Nathan moved over and sat next to Frank.
"Do you know why the Catholic Church doesn't believe in birth control?" Nathan asked.
"Well, no not really." Elizabeth said. "I always believed it was a way for men to control women."
"That is not true." Frank said. "There is a long and complicated answer, but the short simple answer is that the Catholic Church teaches there is an inseparable connection between sexual intercourse and conceiving children, and that it is wrong for human beings to use artificial methods to break this connection."
Frank looked at Elizabeth and saw the confusion on her face.
"I was always taught that God needs to be the center of any marriage." Frank said. "You not only need to believe in God, but invite God into the marriage. By using birth control, one is saying that they don't trust God with reproduction and family planning."
"There is a teaching from now St Pope John Paul II." Nathan said. "He developed it before he became Pope and it wasn't until later in his life that it rose to popularity. It is called Theology of the Body. I have read some of it and it makes a lot of sense. The Theology of the Body is a scriptural reflection on the human experience of embodiment connected as it is with erotic desire and our longing for union. Christopher West had some great books on this subject, but there is something that he said that sticks out to me.
'The Pope's thesis, if we let it sink in, is sure to revolutionize the way we understand the human body and sexuality. "The body, and it alone," John Paul says, " is capable of making visible what is invisible, the spiritual and divine. It was created to transfer into the visible reality of the world, the invisible mystery hidden in God from time immemorial, and thus to be a sign of it. It means, as physical, bodily creatures we simply cannot see God. He's pure Spirit. But God wanted to make his mystery visible to us so he stamped it into our bodies by creating us as male and female in his own image.'" (*5)
Nathan took a deep breath.
"Do you see what I am saying?" Nathan said.
"It isn't Jack that is saying you can't use birth control." Frank said. "It is because of these teachings and how the Catholic Church views marriage, that is why the Church doesn't approve of birth control. Like I said, if you are struggling with this, I think you need to slow down and not push ahead with a quick marriage."
"I see what you are saying." Elizabeth said. "It isn't that I want to be on birth control, but it is that I have been told for so long that I will be nothing but a wife and mother."
"And Jack is not saying that." Doug said. "I know that Jack will never stop you from trying something that you want to do, as long as it doesn't endanger yourself. If you want to get a degree and teach, Jack and his family are not going to stop you."
"What happens if I get pregnant?" Elizabeth asked.
"So things change." Doug said. "My mother went to school and got a degree while having three kids. Did she have some help while she was in school? Yes, but that is fine. There will be people to help you, that won't change."
"I am sorry." Elizabeth said. "I don't really know why I got upset. Jack said something the other day that he would never let me go and now this about birth control. I guess my brain twisted things and I let the old voices take control."
"I am sorry, I said what I said the way that I said it." Jack said. "What I was trying to say is that I will never love another woman like I love you. I believe that marriage is a permanent thing."
"I agree that Jack didn't say it right." Doug said. "I think he was trying to say that he loves you so much that he can't see a situation that would make him not love you."
"Yes, thank you Doug." Jack said. "I am sorry that you got upset, Elizabeth. That was never my intention. I was trying to explain what the Church teaches and I wasn't doing a good job of it. My faith is important to me and I want you to make up your own mind when it comes to Catholicism. I don't want to push you, but I do want you to understand why I say certain things."
"I think that the books that Father Mark suggested will help." Nathan said. "I would also suggest that you read some of the Theology of the Body. I think it will help understand things better."
"Thank you all for talking to me." Elizabeth said. "Can I talk to Jack alone for a few minutes?"
Frank, Nathan and Doug headed to their room. Once the door was closed, Elizabeth stood up and walked over to Jack.
"I am sorry I got upset." Elizabeth said. "It is not easy for me. I told you that my family put me down all the time. Old voices are hard to silence. I didn't want to fight, that was why I didn't say anything. I understand a little better, but I am still struggling. I love you and I want to get married, but I need some time to adjust to all the changes that have happened."
"Okay." Jack said. "I will marry you whenever you are ready. Just please don't shut me out. It sounds like Father Mark was working on having someone come out next week to talk to us. Let's see if we can enjoy this evening and we will deal with what comes. I told you I wouldn't push when it comes to you becoming Catholic, because I know that is something that only you can decide, but also please don't question my faith. It is more than just want I believe, it is who I am. First and foremost, I am a child of God and all I want is for you to have the deep faith that I have."
"I will try." Elizabeth said. "I think that working on those books that Father Mark suggested and also reading the additional ones that I ordered will help. Please be patient with me, this is all so new to me."
"I will." Jack said.
Elizabeth leaned forward and gave Jack a kiss. He had totally intended to keep it light, but Elizabeth slipped her arm around Jack's neck and pulled him to her. She deepened the kiss, even as Jack tried to pull back.
"Okay, you two." Doug said. "Enough."
Jack and Elizabeth pulled apart, both with a blush on their faces.
"Let's have a nice evening." Frank said. "It sounds like it is going to be busy when you all get back to the ranch, so let's try to relax."
"Sounds like a plan." Jack said.
"Mind if we see if we can find the game?" Nathan asked.
"Go ahead." Elizabeth said. "I don't fully understand baseball, but I know that you all like it."
Jack and Elizabeth settled on the couch next to each other. The other guys were spread out on the other chairs and couches. They found an east coast game. It hadn't been the one that they were looking for, but it was baseball. It didn't take long and the banter started back and forth as they talked about the game and various players. Elizabeth was content to listen to them talk. She closed her eyes and leaned on Jack's shoulder, which is where she fell asleep.
After the game, Jack carried Elizabeth to her room. Frank had gone ahead to turn down the bed. Once Elizabeth had been placed in her room and covered up, the guys all turned in. It wasn't that they had to be up really early, but they still wanted a good night's sleep.
*5) THE THEOLOGY OF THE BODY: AN EDUCATION IN BEING HUMAN By Christopher West