Chapter 27 Mending Your Broken Heart

A chilly feeling overcame Lemmy as he stood in the darkness. He breathed in and out, unwilling to move. Everything…everything just seemed wrong now. It felt as if an icy, bony hand curled around his heart, squeezing the life out of it like juice from a fruit. He couldn't move. He couldn't turn his eyes away from the spot that had previously shown young Ludwig grieving in the snow. He couldn't believe what he just saw, nor could he properly get it out of his head.

Ludwig destroyed a city. Not just that, but he destroyed a city when he was seven years old! Lemmy always knew that his powers were strong, making him one of the strongest koopas to live in the modern day. But…but…he didn't know he could do this! It just felt wrong to see Ludwig do this, even by accident. In all his years of being around his brother, even during the times where he got angry and caused things to catch fire, Lemmy felt as if he would never hurt anyone close to him.

Now…now he wasn't so sure.

After a little bit of thinking, grappling the shock enough so that he could push it aside, Lemmy turned back toward Ludwig. His older brother stood there, all alone, in the darkness. Shadows cast themselves over him despite there being no light sources that could create them. He hung his head, refusing to look up for any reason. The world around the Koopalings was quiet as Lemmy stared at Ludwig, as if the atmosphere itself mourned the loss of the city of Frostwall. Despite the newfound fear he felt, Lemmy approached his brother.

When he did was when he heard the sniffles.

As Ludwig hung his head, tears streamed down his face. It almost looked like the paths of the tears created ruts on his face, ruts that showed the path that they commonly and frequently took. The whimpers and sniffles escaping from him…they were quiet, sure, but there was so much pain filling them. Like the young special had just had his legs chopped off, his heart sliced in half, and his soul crushed into tiny pieces. The pain was unknowable to almost everyone, an emotion that belonged to Ludwig and Ludwig alone. How lonely had this fact made the eldest Koopaling? How horrible was it for him to hold onto this much grief and sorrow, without telling anyone and having the only person who knew about it being the usually aloof Kamek?

Lemmy felt so many things once that question came up in his head. He knew that he didn't understand the full scope of Ludwig's pain, and probably never will. But just because he couldn't fully understand didn't mean he was totally incapable of empathizing. Lemmy imagined the pain, and as he did, his heart welled up with a sadness beyond what a normal person was capable of handling. Feeling this emotion while looking at his brother, something ignited inside Lemmy. Was what Ludwig did horrible? Yes, yes beyond a shadow of a doubt. But there were a few things that added caveats to the situation. One, it was an accident. He never fully intended to do it.

And two…he never got over it. He still grieved over the loss, all while refusing to talk about it with anyone close to him. The pain of the wound was still as raw and as fresh as it was eleven years ago. Possibly even more so.

With that thought, all of Lemmy's fears went away. He approached his brother, now carrying himself with understanding as opposed to disbelief. "Ludwig…"

Ludwig sniffled again and wiped his nose. The tears still came as he looked up at Lemmy. "I know," he said. "It was a horrible thing to do." He shook his head, trying to find the words but grappling with a heavy storm of grief as he did. "It's unforgivable. It…." he hesitated, dabbling with words that were unsayable.

Regardless, Lemmy got the message. He got the message, and it made his soul tremble and shake. Without much thought, Lemmy took a step toward his brother. Then another, and another still. Once he was close enough, he extended his arms…

And hugged him.

"It's okay," Lemmy said at a volume that was soft and gentle. "It's okay…"

Ludwig froze up. Lemmy felt his gaze as he kept him locked in the embrace. It was a gaze of confusion. A gaze of disbelief. Maybe even a gaze of questioning someone's sanity. Even still, Lemmy didn't let go. He wouldn't let go. He couldn't let go.

"Lemmy…" Ludwig's voice trailed off. "Wh….why?"

A very simple question, yet one packed with more doubt and disbelief than Lemmy had ever seen before. Lemmy let go of his brother, looking up into his misty, grieving eyes.

"Because I know you feel bad about this. And I want to do something to help you."

Ludwig blinked, gawking at his younger brother. "Are…are you insane?" his voice came out of a whisper, yet it may as well have been a shout with how clearly the message got across. "Lemmy, I destroyed a city? I murdered thousands, possibly millions! I don't…I'm a monster, Lems!" He looked down at his hands, shaking as he stared at the palms. "I don't deserve anyone's sympathy. I don't…I don't…" the tears returned. He sniffled again and closed his eyes, probably not knowing if any of the finite number of words in the English language could effectively convey the severity of what had happened. "You shouldn't waste your time, Lemmy. I'm irredeemable…"

Lemmy's heart broke. Wow. Irredeemable; a strong word if he had ever heard one. On some level, Lemmy didn't blame his brother for labeling himself in this way. Heck, Lemmy would bet he would feel the same if he had only murdered one person, forget about an entire city's worth. However, there was one thing that Ludwig needed to understand, one concept that he needed to grasp and hold close to his heart when he felt as unclean as he did now.

"That's not true, Ludwig."

Ludwig blinked and looked at Lemmy. "H…how can you say that?"

"Because I know the type of person you are. You wouldn't do this nowadays. Heck, you did it completely on accident the first time around. So even back then, you weren't a heartless monster who actively went out of there way to kill people."

Ludwig wiped his face again. "Intent doesn't matter, Lems. A sin is still a sin." He hung his head again. "Millions lost their lives that day. Including a little girl who will never get a chance to grow up and see the world like she planned to."

Lemmy's heart ached. It…it seemed that Ludwig was inconsolable. The scars left from this event were too deep. Especially when one considered his friendship with Aria.

But Lemmy couldn't give up. He refused to give up. Ludwig had viewed himself with the "irredeemable" lens for far too long. It was time he saw the light. It was time that hope was restored to him, it was time that his conscience could be relieved. Not cleaned necessarily, but definitely relieved.

"Ludwig…" Lemmy went up to his brother, ready to take hold of his hand. Unfortunately, Ludwig pulled away. This broke Lemmy's heart; it seemed that Ludwig was only inconsolable because he chose to stay that way. In that sense, this whole event was an even bigger tragedy because of that.

But, again, Lemmy wouldn't give up. He drew into his own thoughts again, trying to see if there was anything he could do or say that would help. He remembered Ludwig telling him that both of them could manipulate the dreamscape while in here. Perhaps Lemmy could use that to his advantage?

Lemmy smiled. Yes, yes! He could do that! But there was one thing he had to say first.

"I understand it hurts," Lemmy said. "I understand that you can't forgive yourself for this. But even with that in mind, I want you to know something Ludwig. Something that will remain true no matter what."

Ludwig lifted his head, wonder showing through the waterfall of tears.

"I love you."

Ludwig blinked. "You…" his face kept shifting. On one hand, he looked like he was going to laugh at Lemmy, possibly tell him that it was mightily stupid of him to love someone who had done what he did. On the other…well, the looks Lemmy saw in between the cracks were exactly the looks he had hoped to see. Surprised. Awed. Deeply and utterly touched in all the right ways.

Lemmy smiled. Good, the right emotions were actually present. Now all Lemmy had to do was dig them out.

"Yes, it was a great tragedy that you showed me. And yes, many people lost their lives. I know I could never fully know what that pain is like, as I would never have the power to do what you accidentally did. But…" Lemmy looked deep into his eyes. "Even though I know all these things, there is something else I know. I know how much you mean to me."

With that, Lemmy waved his hand. Just like he had hoped, little screen like projections formed all over the dark and empty dreamscape. Ludwig's eyes grew wide as he looked at them. He went up to one in particular, and Lemmy followed him. The littlest Koopaling grinned as he watched what was on the screen. The memory on the screen.

"Look, Ludwig!" Young Lemmy exclaimed as he showed a picture he had drawn to his ten year old brother. "I made it just for you!" He pointed to the drawing. "That's me, and that's you! We're going to celebrate your birthday, with all the cake and all the goodies you're gonna get today!"

Young Ludwig snickered. "It looks…" he clearly looked like he was about to insult it, but relented with a sigh. "It actually looks really good; not gonna lie." This caused nine year old Lemmy to beam.

Ludwig actually chuckled upon seeing this. With a noticeable softness to his expression, he moved onto the next memory. This one showed Ludwig and Lemmy, with Ludwig being thirteen and Lemmy being twelve, playing soccer with their siblings. Lemmy accidentally scraped his knee, and cried while holding his leg. Ludwig went up and embraced him.

"It's okay, Lems," the thirteen year old said. "It's okay." He got a bandage out of his hammerspace, and placed it on the scrape. Then, he kissed it, which surprised young Lemmy in the memory.

"You…" he blushed. "Will it really be okay?"

"Yes." Young Ludwig grinned. "I just put on my ultra special, one of a kind band aid, and I enchanted it with my one of a kind kiss! You will heal extra fast with it on!"

Young Lemmy grinned despite still dealing with the pain. "Thanks."

Current Ludwig smiled, his eyes filled with a sense of nostalgia. Lemmy's heart fluttered when he saw this; it must mean that it was working! Now for the final thing to show, the one that would really give Ludwig a sense of what was going on.

So, Lemmy took hold of his brother's hand. He led him to one last screen, one that showed a scene that was all too familiar. Mostly because it was the most recent, but also because the event related to it was unforgettable in every sense of the word.

"And honestly, looking back now," Ludwig in the memory said, "that is the biggest mistake I've ever made. When I looked at you, I saw something that I couldn't be, and couldn't understand, and it drove me insane. Sometimes, I even thought you were going out of your way to annoy me. But that wasn't the case; it was never the case. You weren't trying to annoy me, you were trying to protect me. You stepping out onto the battlefield like that Lems, that wasn't you being stupid. That was you doing what you've always done. Helping me. Supporting me. Cheering me on. And I took that for granted. I took everything in my life for granted, but you most of all. Out of all the people who I had hurt in my life, I can see now that you are the one I hurt the most." His lower lip quivered. "And the worst part is there is absolutely nothing I can do to make it up to you.' He closed his eyes. "I'm sorry Lemmy. I'm sorry I'm not the brother you needed me to be."

Ludwig put his hand to his chest as he looked at that memory. This one occurred during when Lemmy and Ludwig were body swapped. Lemmy kept his eyes on his brother, waiting until his past self said the line that he remembered all too clearly, that line that would orient current Ludwig to the reality of the situation.

"Ludwig?" Past Ludwig looked up at Lemmy. "You are exactly the brother I need you to be. And you don't have to make anything up to me. I'll still protect you. And this time…" past Lemmy smiled. "I'll do it with my life."

Current Ludwig sniffled as he watched that memory. He wiped another tear from his eye and turned to Lemmy. He smiled a little bit despite the tears still coming down.

With this, Lemmy took a step forward and took Ludwig's hand. "Ludwig, you mean the world to me. You have always been there for me even in the times that were tough. You were always there with your sense of humor, your sarcasm, your love…" Lemmy actually got a little choked up when he said this next part. "I could never hate you. I could never see you as a monster, or as irredeemable, or whatever way you look at yourself in regards to this Frostwall thing. I can only ever see you as my brother. My amazing brother, my brother who is loving and kind despite all the faults he has and all the mistakes he made." He looked right into his eyes. "I love you. I don't care if you feel like you don't deserve it. I will always love you. You couldn't stop me from loving you even if you killed me."

Ludwig's lower lip trembled, the tears threatened to spill out all over the floor again. In a swift motion, he drew Lemmy into a hug. While on his knees, Ludwig buried his face in Lemmy's shoulder. The tears flowed onto Lemmy's skin, dampening it. Lemmy didn't care; if anything, he felt it was necessary.

"I'm going to stick by you no matter what," Lemmy whispered. This only caused Ludwig to cry harder, but Lemmy didn't stop. "You aren't a monster. You will never be a monster. You are someone who is valued and loved despite what you did in the past." He held on tight, not daring to let go. "It's okay. It's all gonna be okay, Ludwig."

Ludwig pulled his face off of Lemmy's shoulder. He squeezed him extra tight, letting out cries that were eleven years overdue. "Thank you, Lems. Th…thank you for everything."

Lemmy smiled. "Of course."

With that, they continued hugging. Lemmy didn't know what was going to happen when they woke up or what will happen when they try to get Ludwig's body back. He only knew about the here and now. And really, what more did he need?