Chapter 31

Peace

Sleep for me was elusive, closing my eyes tightly hoping darkness would envelop me but it only seemed to intensify my anxiety.

I stayed in my room throughout the whole night. Senku knocked on the door, but I didn't bother to answer it. I don't want him to know the real reason I haven't been leaving my room. I didn't even bother going downstairs to eat when Turquoise and Suika knocked on my door.

My mind was racing as I laid there, going over what happened during my first conversation with Chrome in eight years and wondering what would happen if I told him the truth about Ruri's death.

Knowing that he has harbored resentment for so long has revived my sense of guilt.

I take deep breaths and calm myself, yet my mind wouldn't let me. Laying in bed, tossing and turning,I wished I could just escape from it all.

As the door creaked open, I slowly opened my eyes. Its dark and I could feel the presence of someone in the room, and I wondered who it could be. Was it Turquoise coming back insisting me to eat dinner? Or perhaps Senku, whom I bet found the key to opening my door?

I could hear footsteps approaching my bed, and I wondered what the person was up to.

Suddenly, I felt a rough hand sweep my hair away from my face; he lingered for much over a minute, as though he could tell I wasn't actually asleep and were only waiting for a response. Mentally exhausted, I forced myself to sit up. He opened the lamp beside my bed.

As I looked at him, his eyes were fixed on me, and I could feel the weight of his worry pressing down on me. He seemed to know something was wrong before I could even say anything.

Without thinking, I reached out to him, burying my face in his chest and pour it all out in an uncontrollable tears.

As I sobbed, I was very aware of Senku's stiff stance. I could feel the tension in his body, and it made me feel even more vulnerable. I knew that I was being ridiculous and he might be clueless as to why I am like this, but I couldn't help it. What I've been through made me felt alone, and my instincts told me I needed someone to hold me.

After what felt like an eternity, I finally started to calm down. I lifted my head from Senku's chest as I wiped away some tears with the back of my hand. I looked up at him, hoping to find some comfort in his eyes, but he was staring off into space, as if lost in thought.

There was pang of disappointment in deafening silence. I had hoped that he would say something, anything, to reassure me, but he seemed to be completely unresponsive. I also didn't know what to do or say, so I just sat there with him in silence, feeling awkward and vulnerable.

Eventually, Senku broke the silence. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice quiet and hesitant.

"I'm sorry if this appears intrusive. I just wanted to check if you're okay."

Despite his lack of response earlier, what he just said warmed my heart, thinking that he really did care.

"Thank you for being here, Senku," I said softly.

I felt foolish for breaking down like this, and I couldn't shake the feeling that I had made a mistake by reaching out to Senku on instinct. I am just glad that he didn't ask as to why I am crying, though I would be silent and too exhausted to dwell on it. I decided to lay back down on the bed, and Senku pulled the blankets up over me.

The sight of him sitting on my bed convinced me that he would remain for a little bit longer.

As I drifted off to sleep, I couldn't help but wonder what Senku was thinking. I just wished I could read his mind at times like this, but I knew that was impossible.

Finally, as the first light of dawn began to filter through the window. Getting up from bed, rubbing my eyes and sighing in frustration. I thought of going to Minami's house and get those pills. There was still this feeling of exhaustion mentally and physically, but it was better than lying there, staring at the ceiling, feeling completely alone and helpless.

Riding a bike on my way to Minami's the cool, misty morning air enveloped me, the sky a canvas of warm oranges and pinks as the sun slowly started to rise. Breathing deep I could feel the tension of the previous day melting slowly with every turn of the pedals.

I was parking my bike outside when I heard shattering glasses and shouting outside Minami's house. It caused me to panic and hurriedly go inside as soon as I saw the gate were open.

The sight of the shattered glasses startled me, and my first instinct told me that a vase was heading in my direction. I was relieve I was able to avoid it in time.

"Get away you scum! You cheater!"

The trail of smoke and the acrid scent of an unknown powder baffle me. I shake my hand in front of my face as I cough and try to shake away the smoke. The smoke lingered in the air obscuring the view of the surroundings in their living room and creating a haze that seemed to hang heavily.

"Minami! Its me Kohaku!" I said followed by a slight cough.

"Kohaku?" Her tone were now calm.

The smoke gradually disappear and I now have a clear view of Minami, she appears to be in distressed. As tears streamed down her cheeks, her mascara began to smudge and create dark, streaky lines down her face. Her eyes became puffy and red, and she struggled to keep her composure. The blackness of the mascara mixed with tears, making her look even more distressed. She tried to wipe away the tears with her hands, but only made the smudging worse. The mascara gave her a tired and worn out look, as if she had been crying for hours.

I only know her as the cheerful and a strong person. I can't imagine her weak and crying.

"Wh–What happened here? This place is a mess." I ask her confused. There were broken glasses and furnitures everywhere as if a storm just passed through.

She sat in one of the sofa that were still covered by a white linen as she sob quietly in her hands and wipe the tears away.

"What's wrong? You were on vacation at the beach, so I didn't expect you to be here."

"It's my ex-boyfriend. He cheated on me with another girl. If it wasn't for Tsukasa, I wouldn't catch him making out with another woman. When he followed me here, he attempt to force himself to me, I lost my cool and had a fuss, at which point he called me crazy and fled." She sniffs. "I apologize for mistaking you for him Kohaku."

"Its fine." I console her as she cried bitter tears.

As soon as she gradually composed herself, we clean all the mess she made. I was sweeping some broken glasses when she said,

"Here's some of the pills I have left. Take it as soon as were done eating, it only works for a short period of time."

"Thank you Minami."

I offer to cook some breakfast for her as she finish tidying up the mess she made.

"You know, you don't look different than me this morning, Kohaku. I can't mistake those eyebags under your eyes. Were you crying too?" she inquired as soon as I am done setting up the table and sat myself down to eat.

"I met Chrome for the first time in years yesterday." As we ate, I started filling her in on yesterday's events.

"So whats your plan?" There's still some pining melancholy.

"I'll try to tell him the whole story and then I'll decide how I'll tell Senku."

Minami nods "I'm not doubting Senku, but if he truly loves you, He will ignore what happened to you both years ago. The fact that you are with him now is what matters, but I suppose he still needs to know everything."

"I know… I just really don't know how to tell him without breaking down. We are still building our relationship right now. I am just not sure if I am really comfortable with him that I can lay my cards down."

"I understand Kohaku, if Senku really loves you he will understand." She took a sip of her tea.

"Are you sure you're okay staying here alone? Do you want me to asks Senku if you could stay at the estate? Who knows what if something happened to you here?"

"I'm fine, Mirai's highschool is just near here, she often visits me to keep me company."

"So you're with Tsukasa huh?" Her cheeks blush, embarrassed, she quickly drank the last of her tea without looking.

"It just so happens that he and his sister came across me while I'm sunbathing at the beach. Also, I don't think we're on good terms right now. He has distanced himself from me ever since he found out I had a boyfriend, turns out it's my ex now" she sighs.

"How about you? You're glowing since we arrived in Hokkaido; I take it Senku is caring after you, makes me wonder who initiates and oh! I almost forgot!" I was confused for a second when she go upstairs and not long after she came down carrying something. "Here it is! This is my wedding present to you, Kohaku. I haven't quite decided what to get Senku as a gift yet, but now that I think about it he seems to have everything he could want, including you, Kohaku."

I wish I could just smile at Minami's compliment but I cannot, when what we have isn't even real.

"When's Ryusui's party by the way?"

"Tomorrow night. He told me it was just catching up with friends and all. Don't worry I ask them to never open something about your family during the gathering." I nod at her.

We chat the whole day and as soon as its dusk I bid her goodbye.

Arriving at the estate, I was about to park my bike when I noticed the new hammock had been set up in the same spot as our old one. It appears to be well-made and coordinates nicely with the flower displays surrounding my mother's garden. I wanted to give it a try, but I knew it would only bring back sad memories of Ruri.

I visited our flower farms and saw that, unlike when I initially arrived in Hokkaido, none of the flowers are visible from this vantage point. It was harvest season after all. I also noticed trucks from near our flower plantations. I'm assuming they were flower seeds and fertilizers for a new crops.

It brought me back to when it was my father who's still managing all of these. Has this always been this busy? Leaving my bike in the storage I had the urge to visit the greenhouse.

The air inside is warm and humid, with the scent of soil and growing plants filling your nostrils. Sunlight streams in through the glass walls and ceiling, casting a warm glow over everything. The greenery is lush and abundant, with leaves and vines reaching out in every direction.

Walking through the rows of plants, you can feel a sense of peace and tranquility, as if the world outside has faded away and all that matters is the life that surrounds you in this miniature ecosystem.

I felt a fluttering sensation on my wrist and looked down to see a delicate butterfly perched there. Its wings were a vibrant shade of blue, with intricate patterns etched in black that seemed to dance in the sunlight.

At first, I was surprised and a little taken aback. But as I watched the butterfly, I couldn't help but feel a sense of wonder and awe. It was as if this tiny creature had chosen me, out of all the flowers around, to land on.

I stand very still, not wanting to startle it, and the butterfly remained on my wrist for several minutes. It was as if time had slowed down, and all my worries and troubles had melted away.

I heard a slight bustle of the leaves behind me and when I turn to look at it the butterfly took off, flitting away on the breeze, leaving me with a sense of peace and tranquility that I had been missing for now.

After musing for an hour outside, I notice a sports car parked outside, I was curious for a moment and I thought of going inside the estate, and was met with Turquoise telling me dinner was ready.

"Where's Senku? Is the car outside his?" I asked her. For a moment I remember Chrome asking Senku when he'll be back to Tokyo but Turquoise beat me to it.

"Its from Ms. Luna, Kohaku." I stopped chewing my food at her answer. "She and the doctor had been in his office since this morning, I assume its for business." No, it can't be just for business. That long? Or was it?

I felt weak. I just stared at my food for god knows how long since I heard Turquoise excused herself to find Suika. There's this lingering heartache, I felt it brewing inside me with emotions raging like waves crashing against the shore. It literally hurt.

With some downtime after dinner, I went for a stroll to the nearby flower farms. In the middle of my walk I stopped and take a look at our mansion, I smiled a bit when I saw the beautiful renovations made. Senku tried to preserve it, but he ended up putting his own style to it.

I wonder what will happen after six months? Will I be in U.S by that time? Who'll take care of the mansion while I'm gone? Should I give Turquoise a heads up about it? Given this would be my share of property once the contract is done, I can't leave the mansion unattended.

My mind races from one thought to the next, never settling on any one thing for too long. I'm not sure what time it is, or how long I've been lost in my own mind when I heard my phone vibrating.

Senku: Where are you? Let's have dinner together.

I wonder how he'll be when he's with his true wife? One whom he truly loves. Is it really necessary that I should bear the burden of being his fake bride just so he could satisfy his father's wishes?

He probably won't spend much time inside his laboratory, that every now and then he'll go out to make time for her. And if he's really busy she'll just watch him while he worked and he'll tell things that she didn't know so she won't get bored and many more.

Me: Ok.

I should'nt worry anymore about how he'll be when this is all done. We'll just sign our papers for divorce and I'll have my own life alone again back in the U.S.

Now that I'm on my way back, I can't help but gaze up at the night sky. It's dark and still.

The stars twinkle like tiny pinpricks in the fabric of the universe. They seem so far away, so distant and unreachable. But somehow, their presence brings me comfort.

As I lie here, lost in thought, I realize that the passing of time is inevitable. It will continue whether I am awake or asleep, worrying or at peace. And in the grand scheme of things, my worries and fears may be insignificant.

The universe is vast and mysterious, and I am but a small part of it.

With this realization I reflect longer than I thought I should've, I now turn my back only to found Senku with hands on his hips staring at me.

I was surprise for a second, the way his eyes seem to pierce through me leaves me feeling unsettled and uncertain what to do next, but my mental exhaustion is greater.

"How long are you going to stay outside Kohaku?"

Please don't start Senku. I'm exhausted. "Its still early in the night Senku."

He now had his hands on his pockets, attention all on me. "One of our conditions have been met Senku. I've met your father, and now I'm just waiting for you to make good on your promise and send your rocket into space. Can it be sooner? To be honest I am thinking of booking my flight back to California."

His jaw clench and his mouth grew thin at what I just said. He didn't answer right away. I feel like he's waiting for me to say anything more.

"Also I demand my own copy of our marriage certificate."

"In your closet." he commented as though the answer were obvious. I just nod.

"There's a possibility it will launch in four months. It's still questionable, so I'll look into it and get back to you once its been decided."

"Does that suggest that we won't be together for longer than six months?"

I've been married to Senku for over a month now. I had to admit one problem has been on my mind lately. It is the problem of Senku's dad finding out about our unexpected divorce. He's a good man so I felt guilty for doing so, but I had to.

"Luna is here to relay some news from Chrome whom I appoint as acting CEO. She arrived here carrying documents that require my signature for business purposes.

"Its fine, I understand." I said flatly. His job will always be his priority. I walk past him to go back to the estate.

"Let's talk about what happened the other night." I turn my head to look at him. He looks so serious while I just feel indifferent.

"Don't worry about it. I won't get pregnant, I'm sure of it. Besides we've done it before right? Also its best if we keep our distance from each other from now on."

"Look I'm serious Kohaku. What about you? If you get pregnant within the next six months, will you go back to America? Who'd take care of you then?"

If I were still the naive Kohaku, I would assume that his concerned for me, but now I know better. He is rich now and a bachelor. One like him prefers to focus on their careers or personal goals first because raising a kid requires a significant amount of time, so knowing that, he might be asking me questions because he isn't ready for that kind of responsibility yet.

"I've been taking care of myself my whole life so I'll be fine, Senku."

"Will you go tomorrow?"

"Of course." His mouth was tight and grim. Don't tell me he had a say on this. I thought he'll go?

"Wear the dress I bought you then."

"I have my own, I might not have those privileges now unlike back then but still I won't accept that Senku. I'm fine, I don't need you buying things for me." Spasms of irritation cross his face.

I don't want to owe him anything.

"Think of it as a wedding gift then. Also…" he close the distance between us. He tuck a loose strand of my hair, and run a knuckle down my cheek. I felt my cheeks heat up as what he did send shivers down my spine."First of all, lower down your pride. While you're with me, I'll take care of you whether you like it or not. I won't agree to keeping our distance together, what do you think people who know we're married and living together will say? Second, you're an Ishigami now. My wife. So I suggest you drop your ego for now."

The more I looked at him, the more my heart pounded against my ribcage. Everything in me ached to be in his presence, to feel his warmth and his kisses. Time seemed to stand still, and the only things that mattered were the beating of my heart and the yearning in my soul.

The type of silence that only two people understand, but is it enough?