After the Funeral
Disclaimer: Narnia and the Pevensies are the creation of C. S. Lewis. I own only the plot.
A/N This is intended to be a loose continuation of my previous story, Before the End. You don't need to have read that first but it may help, especially with the second chapter
Part 2
Susan opened her eyes, wondering groggily where she was. The first thing she noticed was a section of light blue wallpaper with oriental birds embossed on it and she immediately wondered what she was doing in her sitting room. The last thing she remembered was sitting on her bed, sorting through her sister's effects. She also recalled actually seeing Lucy but that must have been a dream or hallucination. Her sister was dead.
Sitting up on the sofa, the first thing she saw was Lucy sitting in the chair across from the coffee table watching her. Susan clamped a hand over her mouth to muffle another scream.
"I hope you're not going to faint again, Su?"
"This is not possible!" Susan said stubbornly. "My sister is dead and I don't believe in ghosts!"
"Dead?" Lucy laughed. "Oh I'm not dead, Susan. I died, but I'm not dead. And I'm certainly not a ghost!"
Rising to her feet, she walked around the coffee table and stopping in front of the sofa took her sister's hands in hers. Susan immediately noticed that Lucy's hands felt warm and solid.
"You see?" Lucy said quietly. "No ghost has flesh and bone as you can feel I have."
"But I saw your body, Lucy," Susan insisted. "The top of your head had been smashed in. No one could have survived that!"
"I suppose it did look a bit nasty," Lucy admitted nonchalantly. "But that was just my old body. I have a new and better one now."
Susan shook her head in bewilderment, still hardly believing the bizarre situation she was in.
"I think I need a drink!" She muttered.
"That's a good idea," Lucy said. "I think I'll join you."
Walking over to the drinks cabinet against the wall she started sorting through the array of bottles.
"Whisky?" Lucy asked, looking enquiringly at her sister.
Susan nodded and watched as Lucy poured a large measure of malt whisky into two lead crystal glasses. Returning to her chair she placed the glasses on the coffee table, pushing one towards her sister. Susan grabbed the glass and took a large gulp of the fiery liquid.
"I suppose you're wondering why I'm here?" Lucy asked as she sipped her own whisky.
"I would assume you've come from Aslan's Country." Susan responded slowly. "And that Aslan sent you."
Lucy nodded, not saying anything and just took another sip of her drink.
"Why?" Susan asked at last, after the silence became uncomfortable.
"Because you need me," Lucy told her. "Just looking at you makes that obvious. Your hair really needs a comb through it; it's an absolute disgrace. And a touch of lipstick and rouge wouldn't go amiss either. You're so pale you're the one who actually looks like a ghost."
Susan laughed a little wildly.
It's strange to hear you telling me to put make up on. You always used to say I worried too much about how I look."
"Not worrying too much about your appearance isn't the same as neglecting it completely," Lucy responded. She sniffed and grimaced. "And I don't want to be personal Su, but when did you last take a bath? Because at the moment you stink!"
Susan frowned, trying to remember the last time she had bathed.
"I'm not sure." She admitted at last. "Probably not since the train accident, nearly four weeks ago."
"Four weeks? Well it's no wonder you pong a bit." Lucy shook her head and took another sip of her drink. "It's from one extreme to the other with you, isn't it?"
"What do you mean?"
"Before you were always dressed up to kill and now you look like something the cat dragged in!" Lucy leaned forward, staring intently into her sister's face. "The last time we talked, in this very room, you were a beautiful, confident woman who wanted the world at your feet, who intended to build your own kingdom right here in this world. What happened?"
Susan winced, remembering what she had said to Lucy that time; words that now seemed absurd and foolish.
"The train accident happened, only a couple of days later. I lost you. I lost my entire family."
Lucy shrugged. "From the way you talked then I didn't think you cared about us anymore. In fact I rather got the feeling you hated us all."
"It wasn't until I lost you all I realised how much my family still meant to me," Susan admitted.
"That's often the way," Lucy replied.
Susan stared at her sister, remaining silent for several long moments before finally daring to speak the thought that had occurred to her more than once over the past few weeks.
"That's why the accident happened, wasn't it?" She demanded. "It was Aslan punishing me for my rebellion."
"You know Aslan doesn't punish," Lucy reminded her. "Not in that way."
"I suppose it's all supposed to be for my own good," Susan said bitterly.
"In a way it is," Lucy agreed. "I won't lie to you, Su, just to make things easier. If you hadn't rejected Aslan you would have died on the train with us. But our parents would not. "
"So I'm responsible for their deaths?" Susan asked indignantly.
"No, Aslan is responsible for their deaths." Lucy admitted bluntly. "But He's responsible for their lives as well. He's responsible for the lives and deaths of everyone. You can't blame Aslan for someone's death the way you would anyone else; that decision is His prerogative."
"So why did Mum and Dad have to die?"
"Lucy shrugged. "Nothing less than losing your entire family would have brought you to your senses."
Susan glared at her furiously. "That's cruel!"
"I expect it may seem that way," Lucy said quietly. "But remember Aslan doesn't punish, not in a retributive way. If He inflicts pain it's intended ultimately to heal. Medical treatment can be painful as well. If a doctor is treating a life threatening condition like a cancerous lung or a gangrenous leg then drastic measures may be needed if the patient is to be saved."
"So bringing me to my senses justifies sacrificing our parents lives?" Susan demanded sceptically.
"Yes it does!" Lucy's expression was hard and uncompromising. "What's a few extra years of life for them in this world compared with your future in eternity? The fact that they died doesn't really matter, they're perfectly safe and happy with us in Aslan's Country."
"How can you say that?" Susan demanded angrily. "Just think of what you've all lost!"
"We haven't lost anything," Lucy said patiently.
Susan downed the rest of her whisky in one gulp, and then standing up threw the empty glass against the wall, smashing it into pieces.
"Of course you have! You were planning to be a doctor, Lucy. Edmund wanted to be a lawyer and Peter might have been a scholar to rival Professor Kirke. Even our parents were still only in their forties. You all had so much to give the world but that's been taken away from you. No matter how glorious Aslan's Country may be there's no chance there of any personal growth; you need to be still alive for that."
Susan was half expecting Lucy to get angry, but to her bewilderment her sister burst out laughing. She looked on in bemusement as Lucy fell back in her chair literally convulsed with mirth, tears of laughter streaming from her eyes.
"Oh Su!" Lucy gasped, wiping her eyes as she finally managed to get her laughter under control. "You do come out with such utter rot sometimes!"
Lucy turned her head to look at the fragments of Susan's broken glass.
"You know those are quite nice glasses. It would be a shame to spoil the set."
She extended her hand and what happened next made Susan stare in open-mouthed amazement. It was like watching a film running in reverse. The pieces of glass suddenly came together and reassembled themselves and the now restored glass flew into Lucy's outstretched hand.
"How is that possible?" Susan whispered.
"Just a little trick I picked up!" Lucy grinned smugly. "If you have enough faith in Aslan then just about anything is possible!"
Setting the restored glass on the coffee table, Lucy picked up her own glass of whisky and drained it before putting it down again.
"I think we could both do with a top up!"
But instead of fetching the whisky bottle Lucy just pointed at the two glasses and Susan watched in astonishment as they quickly refilled with the dark amber liquid.
"I suppose this is all meant to prove how much you've grown in Aslan's Country." Susan muttered. "So what, you're some sort of minor deity now?"
"Perhaps something a little like that," Lucy replied. "But it's not just about what I can do, Susan. How do you think I look now?"
Susan looked closely at her sister for several seconds. As far as she could tell Lucy looked exactly she had done the last time they had seen each other. Even her clothes and make up were identical, including the light red lipstick that Lucy had taken to wearing when she turned seventeen and that Susan had always hated. It was a very unfashionable shade; most young women preferred a more vivid scarlet or crimson, but Lucy as usual had disdained convention and insisted the colour suited her perfectly, no matter how much her sister criticised it.
"You look exactly as you did the last time I saw you," Susan said at last. "Even your clothes and make up are the same."
"That's really for your benefit," Lucy told her.
"So you look different now?"
"Well yes and no!" Lucy frowned slightly. "I don't exactly look dissimilar, just more…"
Her voice trailed off and she seemed to be struggling to find the right word.
"Beautiful?" Susan suggested. "Glorious?"
"All of that and more," Lucy said quietly. "If you saw me as I really am Su, you wouldn't be able to stand it. You'd probably either die or go mad!"
"It almost sounds like you've become some sort of angel now," Susan suggested.
"Not exactly!" Lucy chuckled. "Angels are not human and I still am, despite how much I've grown and learned in Aslan's Country. I'm actually in charge of quite a few angels now. I boss them around like nobody's business!"
Susan gave her sister a sceptical look. She just couldn't imagine Lucy bossing anyone about. Even as a Queen in Narnia, Lucy had not been one to throw her weight around, preferring to work through persuasion and agreement rather than direct use of her royal authority, although she could be firm enough when needed.
"Well I might be exaggerating a little," Lucy admitted with a smile. "But the point is there's a lot for me to do in Aslan's Country. It's not just sitting around and enjoying myself, I have a lot of duties and responsibilities. And not just in Aslan's Country. You're not the first person I've visited and not only in this world. I said I've appeared exactly as I was the last time you saw me, but this isn't the only form I've assumed. I've had forms you couldn't imagine; some would probably make you scream with horror, others you might not even recognise as being alive at all!"
"But it's been less than four weeks, Lucy" Susan protested. "How could you have done all that in so little time?"
"Time is different in Aslan's Country," Lucy told her with a shrug. "And no, don't ask me to explain that because I don't fully understand it myself. Not yet."
"Not yet?" Susan repeated questioningly.
"Well I have all eternity to think about it so I'm sure I'll figure it all out eventually."
Susan didn't really know how to respond to that. All her preconceptions about Aslan's Country and the afterlife were being challenged and it left her feeling rather confused. Looking at her sister, Susan suddenly realised there was something different about her. Her eyes were different, not physically but their expression. There were ages upon ages of wisdom and experience in those eyes and Susan could no longer doubt that her sister had grown immeasurably in Aslan's Country.
Susan had been three years older than Lucy, and at an earlier stage in their lives, both in England and Narnia, she had been the one Lucy had always come to for advice and guidance. Over the last few years they had become rather estranged and Susan had tried to despise her sister as childish and foolish. Under the surface though, she had never really convinced herself of the truth of that idea. Despite always retaining a childlike aura of innocence and wonder, neither as an adult in Narnia nor a near adult in England had Lucy ever been naïve or unsophisticated. In fact over the last few years she had been managing the difficult transition from child to adult with far more grace than Susan herself had. Sometimes Susan had suspected, only to sternly suppress the thought, that her sister was really the more mature one. But now there could be no doubt that Lucy had grown far beyond her and Susan felt a twinge of envy.
She wondered if it would always be that way. If she some day made it to Aslan's Country would her sister always be far ahead of her, or would the odd nature of time there somehow make up for that? Perhaps in Aslan's Country she wouldn't really care about that anyway.
Silence fell between the two girls as they sipped their drinks. Draining her glass Susan placed it on the coffee table and finally broke the silence.
"What do I do now, Lucy?"
"Whatever you want to do." Lucy drained her own glass. "Of course you could continue with your original plan and try to recapture all the power and glory you has as a queen in Narnia."
Susan sighed. "I can't do that Lucy. Not after everything that's happened."
"Then find something worthwhile to do," Lucy advised. "After everything you did as a queen in Narnia I'm sure there's a lot of good you could do here."
Susan shook her head, looking thoroughly miserable.
"I doubt it Lucy. Remember the titles they gave us. I was the Gentle, but what use is being Gentle compared with being Valiant or Just or Magnificent?"
"Quite a lot I should have thought," Lucy replied. "With all its strife and wars, its missiles and atom bombs, this world probably needs gentleness more than anything else."
Susan smiled weakly but shook her head again. "I can't save the world, Lucy."
"No, but you can make a difference, Su. Even making a small difference is better than doing nothing."
"And I suppose I should just forget about Narnia for now and concentrate on this world." Susan muttered.
"You really are a woman of extremes, aren't you?" Lucy looked both amused and slightly exasperated. "Don't forget Narnia but don't try to recreate the life you had there either. Treasure the memories of it as a wonderful time in your life and use the inspiration of that and the experience you gained there to help you do something good in this world."
"I don't know Lucy." Susan sighed wearily. "I can't think properly now, I feel so tired."
"Then sleep and think about it later."
"I'm not sure I can sleep," Susan admitted.
"Then I'll help you!"
Rising to her feet, Lucy walked round the coffee table and sat on the sofa next to her sister. "I'll help you sleep, Susan."
Susan stared at Lucy pensively. "You won't be here when I wake up, will you?"
"No," Lucy admitted. "Bur I'll be keeping an eye on you Su, and if you ever really need me I'll be back."
She reached out and touched Susan's forehead. "Sleep now!"
Utter oblivion claimed Susan and she knew no more.
When Susan woke the first thing was aware of was feeling incredibly refreshed. She at once assumed her sister's visit must have been a dream until she caught sight of the two whisky glasses resting on the coffee table. The part of her that desperately wanted to believe that Lucy had really been there was relieved at this tangible evidence, yet the rational, sceptical part of her brain at once started working overtime, trying to explain it away. Perhaps she had put the glasses out earlier and forgot about them or perhaps she had put them out unconsciously in her sleep while dreaming about her sister. But then Susan noticed something else, something that smashed all her rationalisations into a million pieces.
On the rim of one of the glasses was a faint but unmistakable smear of light red lipstick.