U.S.S Hope
Chapter 29
"So, given that Tucker's birthday is on our anniversary; I was looking at a night out for the night before so we could do his party on his birthday. Are you okay with that?" Mike asked. He was looking at his tablet and Maddie was nursing the baby before they went to bed.
"Why?" Maddie asked.
"Uh…you wanted a night away for our anniversary, remember? I know you don't want to miss Tucker's birthday." Mike asked.
"No, why would you want to go out?" Maddie asked.
"I suppose I'm confused." Mike said.
"I remember telling you that I wanted to go, but I…I'm just not sure why you would want to go with me." Maddie explained. She could tell that Mike was a bit shocked.
"Maddie, I know I've said it before but nothing you did or didn't do led to what I did. I wanted to make this anniversary special for you." Mike said.
"You don't have to." Maddie answered. She laid Tallulah down on her legs and covered up.
"I'd like to." Mike argued back.
"Mike…I don't want you to feel that you have to do anything. I don't want you to feel that you have to buy my love or trust. I still love you and I'm sure you'll earn my trust again. I just don't want you to expend so much energy on me." Maddie said.
"I don't want to do it to buy your love or trust. I want to do something special for you. You've been a rock since I found Katie and it hasn't been easy. You've also had a baby, a major surgery and a difficult pregnancy. On top of finding out that your husband had cheated on you…" Mike started.
"And that is my fault." Maddie remarked. Tallulah was starting to cry until Mike lifted her off Maddie's legs and held her. Maddie could tell he was thinking and trying to calm Tallulah.
"When I was a young detective, I asked my sergeant how to fix it. The gangs, violence, all of it. He told me that I would never fix it until I understood why someone did it, not how. So, I have told you numerous times anything you did or didn't do caused me to cheat. You still think you did. Why do you think that?" Mike asked.
"You said…you never cheated on Christine, correct? You obviously loved her very deeply. Something about me makes you not love me as much." Maddie said.
"I never cheated on Christine, but that doesn't mean that I loved her more or less than you. Our marriage was troubled at best. How about…what do you think is so unlovable about you?" Mike asked.
"I don't know. I've seen pictures of her and she was pretty. Very feminine and petite. I've gained fifty to sixty pounds per baby and only lost about forty pounds per baby. So, sixty pounds heavier than when we met. I have never had anything waxed. I rarely wear make-up or pink. I suppose I have to wonder what you could even see in me…and then I remember how we got together. It was more lust than anything." Maddie remarked with a laugh.
"It grew, though. It…isn't just lust…or…anyway; I love you. Yes, you've gained weight but so did Christine when she had our three. She didn't lose it either. As far as the other stuff is concerned, we couldn't afford for Christine to have things waxed and she made a lot of her own clothes. She liked pink so that's what she wore. It doesn't make you less of a woman that you would prefer to wear one of my t-shirts as to a dress. I was upset, mad and I got drunk. I will regret that for the rest of my life. I took a random woman back to my hotel room and I hate myself for it. But, not for one second do I hate you. I simply want to treat you. So, the night before or the night after our anniversary?" Mike asked.
"The night after." Maddie said, relenting. She was a bit shocked by Mike's speech.
"Okay. Just remember what I said. Please, please stop thinking it was you, or your body that caused it. I love you and I don't want you to think like that." Mike said.
"I love you too and I'll try." Maddie answered. She leaned over and gave Mike a long kiss and then smiled at the way Tallulah cooed.