Friendship, Growth, & Feelings

Disclaimer: I don't own anything pertaining to the GMW franchise; it just gives me a lot of feelings.

Summary: The one where Zay knows stuff, and Riley learns some truths. Farkle is a bit confused, but still supports his friends. Lucas eventually makes his own choice, and fights for what he wants. Maya digs her heels in as much as possible. Or, where they have to clean up the mess that happened at the Ski Lodge and the domino effect that happened after. /Lucaya ending/

Chapter 6

The following Friday:

"Maya, we have to talk about this-"

"Nothing to talk about, Ranger Rick."

"I disagree."

"So do the rest of us", Riley said, gesturing to their other friends.

She scrunched her nose, pouting at the betrayal. "Good for you. I don't care."

Lucas pinched the bridge of his nose."We have to talk about-"

"You don't have to do this", she started quietly.

His eyes narrow at her, because after all this time, he can sense her brush offs coming. "Do what?" he asks tightly.

Her eyes widened slightly at the warning in his tone. She shook it off deliberately and continued. "We've never talked about it, but this isn't some all or nothing type of thing. I know you never really got to make a choice here, but I wanna be really clear here… you don't just have to pick me because you didn't pick Riley - or however that worked out."

"Uh-oh", Farkle muttered.

"Maya-"

"No, I'm serious. You can pick nobody… or- geez, Missy. Seriously, not Missy, but someone else-"

"Can anyone else see the train crash?" Riley hissed, biting nervously at her thumbnail.

"Maya", he tried again, but she couldn't stop the words that were liberating themselves from her mouth.

"You'll probably have to give me like ten minutes here, but we can go back to just being friends. All I'm asking is that you're honest about it. If you don't- it's fine. But if you're doing this because you think you have to, and you- I won't put myself through this again", she finished softly.

He waited until her teeth clicked shut. "Do I get to talk now?" Lucas vaguely wondered if he even had the words to tell her how much he wanted to take care of her… if Maya would let him or attempt to get him in a headlock instead.

She grimaced, crossing her eyes angrily for half a second, and gnawed on her bottom lip. "I don't want to do this right now", she muttered finally. Maya grabbed her textbook and shoved it into her backpack.

"Maya, we are going to have to talk about this at some point", Lucas sighed.

"There's nothing to talk about!" she called without looking back.

"Yes, there is!" Riley wailed.

"I can't hear you", she sang, dancing away from him and down the hallway.

He made an irritated noise as she turned away from him, glaring daggers before stalking after her. He snagged one of the belt loops on her jeans and dragged her into the next empty classroom despite her protesting and shut the door.

Zay stared after them wide-eyed. "Well, that escalated quickly."

"You did not just do that!" Maya stared at him incredulously as the door shut and she realized he was blocking her only exit.

"Maya, we have to talk."

She took a few backwards steps and crossed her arms. "Fine", she muttered. "Say what you need to say."

He approached her slowly. "Do you wanna run or do you want it straight in the face?"

She blinked warily and looked over her shoulder contemplating if she could jump out the window. "You don't have to do this… whatever this is. If you're trying to make me feel better… I'm fine."

"Sure", Lucas muttered sarcastically. "You've barely spoken to me in months, but you're fine."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because we should have talked about us a long time ago."

"There's nothing to talk about", Maya said quietly. "There is no 'us'. We're friends. End of story; close the book."

"I've said it before, and I'm gonna say it again. I don't like when we fight."

"Ohh-kay", she squinted at him curiously. "Lucas, I'm going to say something, and I'm gonna need you to just agree with me so we can all go back to our normal lives", Maya said turning her glare back at the floor. "Because honestly this is ridiculous", she muttered.

"I'm not agreeing to that", he rolled his eyes.

"Before everything went completely sideways… you said you decided that we should all stop because you didn't want to hurt anyone-"

"That's not exactly what I said", Lucas protested.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" she sighed exasperatedly.

"Tell you what?"

"That you chose Riley! I mean- what did you think was going to happen?"

"Maya-"

"Things could have gone back to the way they were. It would have been fine. You didn't have to pretend-"

"Hey! Don't put words in my mouth just because you're scared", he snapped, finally said interrupting her long-winded rant. "You know that's not how that happened."

Her eyes narrowed in anger and suspicion. "Are you really going to try to tell me that Riley wasn't what you wanted"

"Alright, you want the truth?"

"Oh, I don't want to be having this conversation at all", Maya scoffed. "But while we're here, by all means, lie to me", she said sarcastically.

"What you said at the ski lodge… you were wrong."

She raised her eyebrows and took a few steps toward the direction of the rows of desks. "A lot of things were said at the ski lodge", she shrugged nonchalantly. "What was I wrong about this time?"

"I was angry at you because I thought you were being reckless-"

"I was saving Farkle from falling off a cliff!" Maya threw her hands up.

"I know!" he raked a hand through his hair, trying to stifle his aggravation. "And then we got back and you basically try to tell me that I wasn't really mad at you because I like when we fight."

"Lucas-"

"I'm telling you that you're wrong. That's not what that was about. We've all gotten into a few scrapes the last few years… but thought I was going to have to watch you fall and break your neck."

"Okay… I get that. But I wasn't doing something stupid just for fun, Lucas. I had to help Farkle."

"Do you remember how furious you were with me in Texas? When I wouldn't back out of the rodeo? Honestly, listening to you would have been the smarter decision."

Maya grimaced. She'd never tell him, but she had nightmares about that day. "What's your point?" she asked softly.

"It didn't feel good, did it?" he asked seriously. "I ignored your feelings, even when you were so worried you threatened to never speak to me again. It felt like-"

"Rocks in your stomach?" she muttered grimly.

He sighed. "Something like that."

"Okay", she shrugged. "I get it. You got angry because you were worried. Don't you think we all worry about each other when we're doing something stupid? What's your point?"

"I like that we can joke around, alright? I do. I know you're teasing is just your way of being affectionate-"

"Watch it, Hee-Haw-"

"- and it's your defense mechanism", he added pointedly, voice raising briefly to talk over her. "But it's not the same when we're angry at each other, is it? You don't get to tell me that I 'like when we tangle' when it means what we're doing is actually stomping on each other's feelings. That's not who we are, Maya. Maybe I should have just been relieved that everyone was okay that day… but I was so angry at you. And then you blew me off. I spent a long time thinking about what it is that I like about you and I. It took longer than it should have."

"I will literally give you my left big toe if you just stop this conversation", she whined.

"You pushed me at Riley. Tell me why."

"My left big toe", she insisted vehemently.

Lucas grimaced. "I know I hurt you, Maya. And I can't change the way things happened. It was the last thing I wanted."

"I know that. I don't think you'd hurt anyone on purpose", she tilted her head and looked up at him reluctantly.

"Friends don't massacre each other. That's not what this is."

"Feelings are… whatever they are. I don't- I'm telling you that you don't need to lie to me to make me feel better. I accepted my reality a long time ago."

"I'm sorry", he repeated. "For every time I thought I understood you and I was wrong. I'm sorry for not understanding your feelings, and for taking so long to figure out my own. Mostly, I'm sorry we're in a situation where you don't feel safe because if something I did. I want to earn your trust back-"

"Can't we just go back to the way things were? We're friends. We can pretend what happened in Texas never happened-"

"Do you really think that's where it started, Maya? I don't. And you know we can't go back. Nothing good comes from that", he said quietly. "I know you know that."

"If Riley hadn't opened her big mouth, none of this would have happened." She snorted. "Let's not pretend I was even an option for you. I know you're too nice to say it, but I do know that. And it's fine."

"It's not fine. You basically disappeared! Explain that one to me, Houdini!" he snapped.

"Yow", she grumbled.

"Look… you're not entirely wrong. I never really looked at you like that. But once that door opened? All I could see was was how terrifying that idea was-"

"Because I'm very scary", she teased, nodding her head playfully.

"Stop." His jaw clenched in annoyance. "I saw what we could be. I did. The more time passed, the stronger my feelings were even if I didn't understand it. I just- I wasn't ready for that. And I don't think you were either. And then you told me my choice was Riley."

"I know what I did", she mumbled. "I was there. Look, I know Riley and I put a lot of pressure on you, and that wasn't very fair. I'm sorry. You weren't the cause of the problems between us. You need to know that. I know what it's like… to need to be around someone who sees only the best in you. And that's not me. That's always going to be Riley."

Lucas sighed. They could probably drag this out for hours. "That day you walked out of Topanga's… I should have stopped you. I wanted to, but things were already weird between us. I knew Riley wasn't what you needed then, because she doesn't understand the way things domino and crumble before you even know what's happening. I didn't think you'd go as far as you did, but it doesn't change the fact that I should have gone after you. I was scared things were going to blow up."

"I made my own choices, Lucas", she offered softly. "You couldn't have stopped me." She'd never let him know how easy it would have been. He already blamed himself. And she knew now that it was more important that she'd stopped herself. It had been only the second time ever that she'd physically backed away from him… not out of fear, but because somehow he could read her better than anyone. That first time had ended with an almost-kiss that seemed like a lifetime ago. The second time? She'd run out of self-preservation, not wanting him to see that she was about to shatter into a million pieces.

They understood each other in a way that was sometimes as painful as it was comforting.

"We'll never know, will we?"

"You don't have to be responsible for me, Lucas."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, because that's what Mr. Matthews has been teaching us for years: that we're not responsible for our friends."

"Things are what they are. Leave them be." Her eyes rolled at his persistence.

"No. Why are you doing this? You don't want this any more than I do."

"Maybe not", she threw her hands up. "But more than that- I don't want to be a constant reminder of your mistakes", Maya suggested tensely. "I mean, Riley's the most perfect person I've ever known and you've seen the things I've convinced her to do… and that's who she thinks I am. I jump off the cliff without a parachute, Lucas. I don't listen to anybody. That's who I am. That's not who you are. Maybe I didn't want to ruin your life too."

"I don't see you like that." He was staring at her, arms crossed, looking as frustrated as she felt. "Riley was wrong, Maya. And you never gave yourself a chance. You're a good person. Not as Riley… as you."

"Thank you, Cowboy Fortune Cookie", she teased mildly, hoping to alleviate some of the tension.

It didn't work. And Lucas seemed on the edge of making a decision that would throw them both off a cliff.

"I'm sorry", he said earnestly. "I never wanted to hurt you", he said seriously.

Maya frowned. "I know that", she muttered. "Remember what I said at the beginning of the year?" she shrugged. "This was a no- win situation. Someone was getting massacred no matter what."

"Maybe… but why do you think it's always gotta be you?"

Her eyes opened wide and she froze. "Pardon me?" She asked in that extra sweet voice she used when she wanted to rip someone's head off.

He glared at her instead of backing off like a smarter person would have. "Hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do."

"I got that. Thanks. You've made your point." His glare made her mouth snap shut and she sighed. "Look, you didn't- This isn't on you, Lucas."

"Because you took the decision out of my hands? So you really think I'm okay with you hurting yourself to keep other people happy?!"

She stared incredulously as his voice got louder. "Oh, so we're yelling now?" Maya raised her voice just slightly to make a point, tossing her hands in frustration.

"Maybe!" Lucas snapped exasperatedly.

0

Out in the hallway:

"I did not give him permission to yell at her!" Riley complained, sitting up from her slouch against the lockers.

"They're both more honest when they're mad", Zay said, sounding unconcerned. "They'll be okay. Maya's stubborn, but she can handle him. You know… she doesn't mind his anger issues. They don't scare her, and she doesn't take it personally. She just waits for the wave to pass. He'd hold back more if she did."

"He really does like her, doesn't he?" Riley asked, starting to worry she was actually in the middle of a scheme she had no business touching."

"You're kidding right?" Zay gave her an alarmed look. "Lucas is so stupid over Maya, he didn't even know he was stupid over Maya!" He threw his hands up. "Nobody listens to me."

"He's got a point", Farkle said thoughtfully.

"Thank you!" Zay half-yelled, feeling vindicated.

"So… that day she dressed up as me… what happened?" Riley frowned, eyebrows scrunching. "I feel like everything got all jumbled up, but I was wrong about what it was."

"Yeah, that wasn't really one thing, was it?" Zay sighed. "I wasn't even here. Lucas called me the day you guys did your Freaky Friday weirdness."

"He called you?" Riley asked.

"Yeah, he said you were the cutest Sith Lord ever and Maya was doing a terrifying version of Mary Poppins."

Riley sighed happily. "I like Mary Poppins."

"Of course you do, sugar."

"Just a spoonful", she started.

"Oh no", muttered Farkle.

"It does help the medicine go down", she said earnestly. "It does!"

"You know that song was written about the Polio vaccine, right?" Farkle said blandly, going back to his physics homework.

Zay kicked his shoe. "Don't ruin it for her."

0

Back in the classroom:

"Stop apologizing", she said finally. "You didn't do anything that I didn't do to myself", she muttered before walking to the back wall of the classroom.

"Maya, you protect everybody. Let me be the one who worries about you."

"Why?! Why would you want that? You and I can never happen, Lucas. You know that right? The world would explode."

"I don't believe that", Lucas said softly. "I don't think you really do either." He took a step closer, studying her curiously. "Do you want to know what I think about you?" he asked, sounding amused.

Her eyes shot up, and she quirked an eyebrow. "Do not-"

He grinned, and her stomach flip-flopped painfully.

"I think I'm gonna tell you."

She held up a hand in protest. "Don't use my own words against me!" she protested.

Lucas gave her a slight nod and held his hand out. "Come here."

Maya groaned. "Oh, come on-" He reached for her and she allowed it, nose scrunched in a skeptical pout. "We're hugging again?" she whined. "Really?"

"Maya? Is this okay?"

"Yes", she sighed, giving up and returning the hug, trying not to enjoy it too much. He gave good hugs. It was… frustratingly comfortable. "Don't do this", she whispered, ducking so her forehead brushed his shoulder. "Not unless you're sure you mean it. I can't- what happened at New Year's was bad enough. I don't want to be a second choice. Put me out of my misery now if you're just waiting for a time you and Riley might work out. Don't just tell me what you think I want to hear, Lucas. That's not real."

"I would never do that to you", he promised.

"I- maybe- okay", she said softly as she slowly stepped back. "Are you sure?"

Lucas chuckled. "I don't think any of us are sure about anything. "But I think we could be something more. Can we just… I want to give us a fair chance", he said quietly. "Can we do that? Let me prove to you that I mean it?"

She gnawed on her. "Okay", Maya said after a minute.

"Really?"

She nodded. "I don't know how to do this, but we can try… if you promise to be patient with me."

"Always."

"What are the chances our friends are all still in the hallway?" Maya asked wryly.

Lucas rolled his eyes. "One hundred percent."

She snorted. "Of course."

"Are we good?"

Maya sighed. "Yeah, Ranger Rick. We're good."

They stared at each other for several long seconds before nodded toward the hallway before Maya grimaced. "We should probably-"

"Yeah." Lucas held his hand out.

She sighed and nodded before she took it.

They crossed the room together.

Maya opened the door.

Their friends had taken spots on the floor against the lockers on the opposite wall and appeared to be doing their homework. All of them looked up at the sound of the door opening.

Riley stared with narrowed eyes. "You guys were in there for almost an hour."

"Well, we're invested now", Farkle said. "What happened?"

"My butt hurts", Zay feigned annoyance at them.

"Please tell me everything is okay now", Riley pleaded. "I haven't had a full night's sleep in months!"

Maya snorted. "You're all ridiculous."

"I don't think we're the ones-" Zay started.

Farkle pointed at Maya and Lucas. "Well, they are holding hands, so..."

"That's a good thing! Right?" Riley demanded, sounding a bit panicked. "Right?!"

Maya gave her a wide-eyed almost glare as she tried not to blush.

Farkle interrupted her, staring at Maya with amusement. "It's the shoulders isn't it?" he teased.

She let out a laugh of utter shock. "Farkle!"

00

A/N: Okay, guys! Sorry for the wait. We just have the epilogue coming, everything should be wrapped up neatly. I wrestled with this chapter. Hopefully the length makes up for the wait!

The epilogue is half written, but I know how it ends, I just have some details to fill in, and plan to finish it up next week. Thanks for baring with me. Chronic migraines make it extremely difficult to spend any length of time hunched over a screen. I'm so relieved to have this nearly wrapped up for you guys.