DISCLAIMER:This fanfiction will follow its own timeline, however, I've tried to stick to the movie timeline as much as possible. It must be noted that this story is rated M as there will be some explicit content mentioned later in the story (depictions of sexual intimacy, and also mentions of rape and abuse) but forewarnings will be provided at the beginning of the respective chapter.

It must be noted that I don't own any of the Marvel characters or anything affiliated with the Marvel Universe. However, all OC and original content have been created by me.

CHAPTER FIVE

"The One with The Answers"

"What the hell!?" Lilah gasped, gripping the clipboard tighter to her chest, ready to use it as her first line of defense. Steve held up his hands to Lilah, "Ms. Novak, please, both Sam and me mean you no harm at all," Lilah turned her vision to Sam. She had almost forgotten that there was another person in the room. "We just need some answers," Steve said quietly in the hope that Lilah would follow suit and not scream.

Backing away from Steve and moving further into the room, Lilah looked back at him, "mean me no harm?" she frowned as she reiterated his words, "Because ambushing me at my place of work is considered acceptable, right!?" Lilah gritted out with a sarcastic tone, earning a stifled laugh from Sam, who was now standing alongside Steve.

"Please, Ms. Novak-," Steve was immediately cut off, "I don't know what you want from me, Mr. Rogers!" Lilah interrupted his plea. A silence drifted between the three of them and then it was Sam's turn to try and get through to her. "Ms. Novak, please, I understand that this all might be a bit overwhelming to you, but if you could just tell us anything you know about HYDRA or the whereabouts of Barnes, I promise that we'll leave and you'll never have to see either of us ever again," Sam's soft request had caught Lilah's attention because she was now staring at him deeply.

Carefully considering her response, Lilah stared from Sam to Steve; there was no getting out of this, she was officially cornered. Shutting her eyes tightly, Lilah turned from Sam and Steve's searing gaze and placed her clipboard on the counter behind her. Taking a deep inhale that filled her chest, Lilah felt her shoulders tense and rise, and then release with her exhale, almost in surrender. Her next words were but a whisper, "Yes, my Grandmother worked for HYDRA and yes, I do know James... well I did,"

Sam glanced at Steve from the corner of his eye, "Now we're getting somewhere" he thought to himself. Lilah continued, her back still turned to them, "For years my Grandmother had to stand by and watch and help those God-awful people torture him and make him do the most horrific and unthinkable things," Steve could hear from the breaking in her voice that she was on the verge of getting emotional, but he didn't stop her. Lilah pinched the bridge of her nose in a last attempt to stop her tears from falling, "I admit that I lied to you earlier when I told you that my Grandmother hardly spoke to me about her job, Mr. Rogers," she breathed. Lilah slowly turned to face Steve, "She told me everything, the murders. His… missions," Steve watched her face screw up in difficulty as she spoke the words, moving her gaze to the floor and now leaning against the counter, "when he was out of the cryo-sleep for more than 24 hours on those missions, his subconscious would start to fight the memory serum and he'd slowly begin to realise what he had done and it was … it was horrible," a tear rolled off Lilah's nose and dripped to the floor. She looked back up but didn't look at Steve, but rather somewhere past him, staring at the blank wall, her mind trailing off to a memory. "He became a shell of a man, and when my Grandmother or I thought we were getting through his armour and making some sort of progress, healing, getting a smile from him or a chuckle…then… then they would" She stopped talking, her breath hitching at the memory. Lilah's eye line changed from the wall and gradually moved back up to Steve, "…then they'd put him back under and it would start all over again, right?" Steve finished for her. Lilah gave a slight nod in response, and forced herself to look away from Steve, causing a few more tears to spill.

Sam tore off a piece of tissue from the roller towel dispenser mounted on the wall behind him and handed it to Steve. Gently taking the tissue in his hand, Steve took a step forward, "Here," he whispered gently to her. Lilah looked up to see Steve's offering and accepted it with a sniffle. While wiping her eyes Lilah continued quickly, "It became so bad that my Grandmother's actually preferred it when they would put James back under, she hated to see him suffer and be sent out to do all those heinous things," composing herself a bit more with a swallow, she looked back at Steve and said, "That's why getting out was so important to her."

Steve's brow furrowed with confusion. "Wait a minute, are you saying that your Grandmother actually got out of HYDRA?" Sam interrupted with the question. Lilah turned to Sam with a weak smile on her lips and whispered, "She tried..."

"Just one week after my Grandmother offered to be a double agent for SHIELD, I watched James get shot in the chest, and the very next day and I found my Grandmother dead in her lab with a single bullet hole to the back of her head." Lilah's back straightened as she spoke, Steve could sense her defensive walls picking back up again, "I know HYDRA killed her. Not a doubt in my mind," she said confidently and turned her gaze to Steve, "and until yesterday, I was under the impression that they had also killed James." Steve immediately understood Lilah's reaction to his questioning from the previous day; she didn't know that he was alive. A fresh set of tears glistened in her eyes but her next words were spoken almost in anger, "I saw them drag his body away. I had every reason to believe that he was dead." She shook her head almost as if she was still trying to convince herself that this was all a dream.

Both Steve and Sam watched as Lilah's persona changed as if she had shut down and that wall of defense between them and herself became stainless steel, "Let me make myself clear - I don't want to have anything to do with this. SHIELD or HYDRA," she hardened while breathing deeply, managing to will her tears away. "They ruined my life. My family. My heart..." Lilah's eyes glazed off again and Steve took this second to intervene, "and James?" he asked sheepishly. Lilah looked to Steve, "Look, I am going to say this once and refuse to say anything about it ever again," her face near-emotionless "I haven't seen James or heard from him in 8 years, and even if I saw him, I would want nothing to do with him. Honestly, at this rate, I wish I had never met him," it was clear that the frustration in Lilah was building. She grabbed the clipboard from behind her, brushed past Steve, and headed to the door, "Now, I've told you both all that I know, so please, I'm begging you, just leave me alone," she said sternly as she shoved passed Steve and threw open the door.

As she stepped out of the room, Steve quickly came up behind her, "Why?" he shouted out to her. Lilah stopped in her tracks, waiting for Steve's full question. "Why do you hate James so much? What did he do?" The question was simple, but the answer was just a little bit more complicated. Without turning back to look at Steve, Lilah answered knowing that he was standing close enough to hear her. "James never did anything wrong or anything to me, Mr. Rogers, it's me who made the mistake," Steve was now even more confused by Lilah's words. She paused, sighed, and said the words like she was confessing something to finally get it off her chest, "I made the mistake of falling in love with him, Mr. Rogers." Not allowing a beat for Steve to start with his questions or sympathies, Lilah continued to the front desk, grabbed her bag, and stormed out of the hospital without looking back.

Author's Note:

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