Disclaimer:

Mr. M., the stage and puppets are yours, the Magic is from Mrs. J.K., I just let them hop around at my tunes, which isn't saying much, because I can't sing for shit. Really, that is the truth, the kids even banned me from singing in the shower… Ah, disclaimer, as usual, me nothing.

Previous:

After transforming her back, I cursed: "Bloody hell, Aria! Why didn't you go outside to take a leak?"

She glared at me and yelled: "A princess doesn't pee in public! Not even as a dog! You deserved everything you got. Now get up, there is a red-haired woman at the wards that demands to speak with you."

Mrs. Weasley?

20 Moral Debates…

With a wave of my hand, I cleaned the pee away, while glaring at Arya. Getting peed on by a dog is one of the things I hated in my old life. The wife had an ugly pug that loved to make my life miserable, that monster always peed on my shoes, it was a model dog when she was around, and a menace when we were alone. I am not proud to say that the day I took him to the vet for his final injection, was a happy memory, it could power a Patronus.

I do like dogs though, the ones that listen to me anyway.

Arya glared back, holding her position as a brave Northern Princess. I have to admit she got the right to be angry, when people know you are transformed into a puppy, seeing that puppy taking a pis, will ruin the reputation of the princess. Witnesses can say they saw the princess squatting down and peeing. Then again, these are the middle ages, people pee outdoors all the time, or, as in Fleabottom, they pee in a chamber pot, and shuck it through the window on the street. No, these days they bring it to gathering points where it will be transported out of the city. That is some of the reforms Dad pushed through with a little help from me. King's Landing still smells, but not as bad as it used to. The sewers are coming along fine too.

I said: "A read-haired woman is demanding to see me? That is a first, I know that the notice me no ward is active? Did you see her Arya?"

She nodded: "Yes I did, she has red hair."

At my raised eyebrow she continued: "She wears a red dress too, she is pretty, but she doesn't feel right. Dani is talking to her."

That might be the Red Witch from that fire God. Fuck! If she thinks I am that Azur Bahai, or whatever it is called, then she will stalk me worse than the guys in Sting's songs do. You know, Every breath you take, every move you make, I'll be watching you. That song made it legit to stalk your ex into submission. It became a sport to stalk the exes after that song, I know, I tried it too... until her dad chased me away.

I had to take a quick shower, no matter if you use Magic to vanish the pee, the feeling of being pissed on remains, so a shower is a must.

Twenty minutes later I went outside to see a red-haired woman, all tied up and in Magic suppressing shackles on the ground. I noticed she even had a hard time keeping her youthful looks up. Daenerys, Tyrion, Lyra, and Jeyne, as the best Magic users, were holding their Dagger-wands at her.

I came closer and analyzed her... boy! That is one old chick! Over seven hundred years old! This is Melisandre if I am not mistaken.

I squatted down next to her and asked: "Why does an old biddy like you demand to speak to me? I would say talk to someone your own age, but they are hard to find. Tell me, what s your purpose here?"

Melisandre fumed inside, she was overpowered by children! Then she saw the Azor Ahai approach, her joy evaporated with his words.

Carefully she explained: "I am a priestess from the God R'hllor, he gave me visions of the Savior Azor Ahai, and where I could find him. You are the one from my visions, and I have traveled for years to find you. Your companions don't believe me and suspect that I am here to assassinate you."

I nodded: "They might be right you know. What would you do if I say that R'hllor is a false God? Not even a God, but a Demon that lives on the human sacrifices you give him? That he is at war with the Night King beyond the Wall doesn't make him righteous, just another Demon that wants to eliminate the competition."

I grabbed her necklace and ripped off her neck, a quick vanishing spell on it later revealed a tied-up old woman. Melisandre looked horrified at me, they destroyed centuries of hard work in minutes!

I stroked her head and told her: "You see? I am not your Azur Bohai or whatever you call me. I do however have a serious problem with human sacrifices, especially the children you so much want to burn alive to catch their essence. Tyrion, this bitch wanted to recruit us to fight the White Walkers and their King, no doubt by using my girls and you as sacrifices to her Demon. After all, Princesses and highborn are power boosts to her and that Demon."

Tyrion casually answered: "I bet we do fine without her, Dragon Lord, she wasn't a match for us, and we are only just begun to learn Magic from you. I find her prettier with the necklace though, you ruined me for redheads."

I shrugged: "I had a hard time getting attracted to redheads after meeting Mrs. Weasley. Then Lady Stark reinforced it. I am glad Sansa is curing me, she is a nice and friendly girl. Anyway, I often wondered why Mr. M. kept this one around, my guess is that he is a bit masochistic, or has someone like her in real life."

I looked at the old woman and said: "I am sorry to say that your life will end today, seven hundred years is enough, don't you think? No, not even your R'hllor will be able to revive you."

I put my hand on her forehead and scrambled her brain. Instant kill, the gasps from Arya, Sansa, and Margaery told me that they witnessed their first kill, although I am surprised that Olenna didn't show it to her Granddaughter.

I turned to them and said: "This woman lived for more than seven hundred years, during those years she sacrificed thousands of innocents, even a couple of Royals and Nobles. I detest human sacrifices, and I am not in the habit of keeping my enemies alive. By killing her now, I probably saved hundreds to be burned alive. Now see my last act."

I transfigured Melisandre into a pile of leaves, I drained all the water from the leaves, gathered the dust that remained, and vanished it. Hah! Try to find her body parts now R'hllor!

Tyene, as the most devoted, asked: "Is it true? We always thought R'hllor was a righteous one, focused on the good of the people."

I looked at her in pity: "95% of the leaders of any religion are power hungry, or convinced that their view on God is the correct one, and will do anything to make everyone follow them. The pure priests are content to guide their believers and help them in their daily life. The ambitious ones twist the words from their prophets to match their goals."

I continued: "Demons, however, pose as Gods and use their priest to gain power through sacrifices. A bit of that power is given to the priests so they can create Miracles, and gain fans and fortune."

Yeah, believe in the Lord! For a good donation, you will surely be welcomed in paradise! No, a few thousand more will guarantee it! Consider it a seed, it will grow if you nurture it well with money. And if the patsies nurture it enough, he will buy a new private jet. Praise the Lord! I know, there are more good ones than bad ones, but the bad ones are the loudest.

Xxxxx

When Melisandre was dusted, I showed my loot to Tyrion and the girls, under the guidance of Daenerys, the food got levitated to the stasis trunks, the gold and gems got sorted, and the jewels appraised. The stuff from the warehouses went to Lyra and Margaery to trade away.

I had to question myself when Arya asked: "Who are you going to rob next, Snowy?"

That is a hard question, am I a bandit, a raider, or a righteous avenger? Maybe I am a delusional snob, thinking that my way is the best... most everyone thinks their way is the best, mine is just a tad better.

I glared at Arya: "I am not a robber Red Puppy! You might as well know that the people I took these goods from were plotting against Westeros. This is a punishment, not a robbery."

Arya smiled slyly and asked: "So you went to their home at night and took all their valuables, without them noticing? Isn't that stealing?"

Tyrion helped her: "She has a point Snowy. Most people call that a robbery."

I shot back: "No, I call that judging. I read his memory and discovered his plans, I handed out a punishment according to those crimes. If I didn't do anything to stop it, many small folks would die."

Hah! Take that little Red Puppy! I have the moral high ground here! I am the Robin fucking Hood of Westeros! At the moment branching out in Essos. I admit, I have yet to give something to the poor, but in a way, I am making their lives better already, so get off my back.

I heard her mumble: "It is still robbing."

I scooped her up and gave her a hug: "Little one, you might be right, but let us discuss the Iron Born. They say they must pay the Iron Price for whatever they are taking. Meaning they take it by force, if you protest, they kill you, are you a woman, they take you home as a salt wife. King Robert stopped that for the moment, but it is still there in their minds.

The Dothraki are the Iron Born of Essos, they take whatever they want if it catches their interest. Food, slaves, livestock, they take it all. If I steal some of it back, am I a robber? Maybe I am, tell me, if the wildlings steal you away, would you protest if someone wants to rob you back?"

Arya shook her head: "I don't want to get robbed, and if they do, Winter Queen will rescue me with Sansa and Spring Queen."

I protested: "Hey! I would be the first to rescue you! Blacky and I would have freed you in minutes!"

Arya smiled evilly: "No, you would be too busy robbing people."

That made everyone burst out in laughter, that little pup made me lose an argument! She is going to be a handful when she grows up.

I raised my hands and said: "Ok, I admit defeat, get the kids ready for a flight, after lunch, we are going to practice Magic."

When the dragons were mounted, I said: §Today we are going to fly over Pentos, to let everyone see how beautiful and mighty you are.§

Daenerys said: §Kids, save your strength, fly in the slipstream of Blacky, Gerion, and Rhaella. Girls cast a weightless charm on yourself, but be sure you are strapped in tight.§

Xxxxx

That day, Pentos got shocked, ten roaring dragons flew in formation over Pentos, well out of reach of any weapon. Illyrio will cease his plans if he is smart, now that the rumors of Robert's bastard having dragons are true.

The leaders of the Golden Company were raging, not only their treasure, but their food was stolen in one night without anyone noticing it. When the news came out, a lot of the mercenaries left the group, to, in their words, lessen the burden on the provisions. It happened that the leaders were in Pentos when the dragons flew over. They cursed the man in front, knowing who crippled them.

When I flew over Pentos, I suddenly had the urge to sneeze, that is strange, I thought I dusted that bitch. I looked at Arya, but the kid was enjoying herself and babbling to her Queen. Meh, it must have been someone unimportant. I have to stop believing in those anime and manga-imposed bodily reactions. Like when you see a boob or panty you get a nosebleed. That never happened to me, I always get a boner. The nose bleeds I got were when someone punched it, that happened a lot.

Anyway, we did a regular fly by the Tower, as they do in macho movies with Tommy Cruise, and scared the crap out of everyone in Essos. By chance, Viserys was in Pentos too, and saw his white Dragon fly over with a little kid on top. His little dragon escaped him a few days later when the compulsion charm to stay on his shoulder faded away. It flew off and never looked back. Now he saw it fly over his head, mocking him.

He raged: "Mount Everest! Give my Blanche back you bastard!"

Meh, it wasn't my fault he lost his Blanche, although that was a good name too. I was proud of my naming sense back then. Did you know that birds take a shit when they get tired from flying? You know, to lose some weight? That is what the kids did above Pentos, I swear, it was not on purpose, and it sent a completely wrong message of our intentions.

That night we packed up and moved to Lys, a City that thrives on commerce and slavery. They have a lot of Pillow houses, aka Whore houses. Meh, ours are better, we are even famous to get rid of STDs. Mum got a lot of coins for it, and they are happy to pay for the service. Hmm? I am babbling again.

We found a nice spot on a beach to settle down for a swim. With plenty of fish, the kids were having fun in the water. A shame that skinny dipping was over, with all the guards around they were not eager to show their assets to the men.

We did ward a section of the beach for the maids and guards to relax in their free time. The handmaids still had to suffer my presence when they joined their Ladies in the water, Bessa and the freckled one from Dorne did not really mind, Lyra's little sis Jorelle and Sansa's Jeyne Poole are too young to care, the one from Margaery had a stick up her cunt, after spending a few weeks with us she mellowed down a bit. Lyra and Jeyne Umber each brought a childhood friend along, I keep forgetting their names, they were sweating like crazy in those warm clothes, but refused the summer clothes I presented to them… I admit that if you can see the nipples through the fabric it would be too daring, and they never heard of a bra. Lyra saved them with a cooling charm and a freezing hex to my bits. Hurts like hell.

Xxxxx

You know, life goes on, we got in a routine, we arrive, set our borders and wards, do a fly-by at the locals, do a little sightseeing, when we are on a beach, we spent a lot of time swimming. If we had a car and a trailer, you could call us tourists. Every three months, the girls visited their parents with their maids and guards.

I did whisper to Olenna to use lube if she wanted to fuck two sides over. The old biddy had the decency to blush, although it is cuter when a young girl blushes. She got the message though, when she heard of the misfortune of Mopatis and the Golden Company, I heard they even had to sell some of their elephants to feed the troops.

After the first visit to the parents, the news that my guards use Valyrian Swords rushed through Westeros like wildfire, now they are fighting for a spot in my… Army? Garrison? Trunk? The result? 25 new guards, 1 more sergeant, a deputy Master at Arms, and 2 more working girls. I have to limit my visits to the in-laws somehow.

Slowly we expanded our reach into Essos, Slavers Bay got a visit, we might have burned some dickheads that wanted to buy our kids, we used spells to burn them, the girls and Tyrion are getting better at Magic control and gaining in Magic Power.

In Astrapor, I pointed Missandei out to Daenerys: "She is still a child, like in the books, there are laws against child labor in the world I came from, so they aged her. Do I buy her? She has two brothers at the Unsullied, although they don't recognize her as a sister anymore. Their minds are broken."

Daenerys looked at me and asked: "Will it benefit her? Will it benefit us? Or are you basing your sentiments on what is written in books from another world?"

I shrugged: "Yes, maybe, and yes, I based it on the same sentiment that I got you, Arya, and Tyrion. I saved Father, fucked the Small Council up, and did so much more. All that, and that kid is a genius translator."

Daenerys took her dagger/wand out and accio'd the girl, when she was in front of Daenerys, she lifted the shin of the girl and asked: "Hello Missandei, do you want to leave this place with us as a free girl and work for us? What about your brothers? Do we buy them?"

Missandei whispered: "My brothers are dead, they became Brown Rat and White Waterbug. They don't even look at me anymore."

Hey, I didn't know that! They color-coded their troops and subdivided them using small mammals and insects. One of the big shots came yelling at us in High Valyrian, we pretended not to understand the man.

He shouted: (Tell those lizard men to let you go before I order that male to be castrated, those dragons tamed and those whores enslaved.)

Missandei translated: "This is Kraznys mo Nakloz, my owner. He demands to release me or he will send his men on you."

I smiled and said: "Tell that piece of shit we are taking you with us, and as payment that cockroach may be happy to keep his life. Or else I shove one of those spears up his ass."

Missandei translated: (This young master is interested in taking me with him, he said that he will use force if you refuse.)

Kraznys glared at me: (Tell that heathen he can buy you for hundred-twenty gold bars, that filthy pagan has enough of that I heard.)

Missandei translated: "Master Kraznys, demands a hundred-twenty Gold bars for me. Young Master, that is twenty times the prize for a slave like myself. Thank you for thinking about me, but save yourself and your companions."

Daenerys nodded: "That settles it, you are coming with me, tell… no I will tell him myself."

Daenerys turned to Kraznys: (You have til the count of ten, after that, I will hunt you down, and castrate you.)

I grinned and commented: (No Dani, you ad that you are going to stick them in his mouth.)

Daenerys shivered: (Do you really think I will touch those things?)

Fuming, Kraznys motioned his guards to attack. A few seconds later three chickens, a goose, and a Daffy duck were running around Kraznys feet. I put a ban on Puppies and kittens for use against enemies, they are too adorable to stamp on.

Daenerys said: (Two, One… No, I'll just kill you.)

A cutting curse later Kraznys lost his head, and we got Missandei added to the… Maid or Handmaiden? Meh, she can be a teacher, teaching High Valyrian to the girls will motivate the girls to learn it, I mean, if a child can learn it, how hard can it be?

Nobody dared to stop us from leaving Astrapor, too many saw the chickens and goose, and Daffy Duck freaked them out completely. Outside the gate, we did our circus act and flew away on our kids.

Xxxxx

At our campsite, I removed the slave mark and introduced Missandei to everyone: "Tyrion, Girls, this is one from the books, just now she proved her bravery and good heart to Daenerys and me. She is talented in languages and will teach High Valyrian to the ones that don't know it already. Be nice to her.

We confirmed her special status by letting her sit at our table and giving her a room in our quarters. After a few days, she settled in. Sansa and Jeyne Poole spent most of their free time with Missandei, as a translator, she was taught about the Nobility of Slavers Bay. It was a completely different word compared to the North, and both girls devoured all the new information, broadening their minds in the process.

South West of Slavers Bay in the ocean, are the Summer Islands, a few beacons on cargo to the Islands gave me a point to flame at.

After the first excitement calmed down, we spent a month on the Islands. The people are friendly, they don't bother us much, and when they found out I am shagging a busload of girls and could handle them, I got a lot of respect.

Yeah! I Rule! Little Snowy does not melt in the heat! No, he will erupt like a volcano!… Too much? I don't think so too. There are topics you should be discreet about, stories about my vigor are allowed to be shared with the world. No, I am not a chip of that block! I am faithful to my girls, Bessa doesn't count, she was allowed in.

I am happy to inform you that the Umber and Bear Handmaidens caved in and dressed more lightly. It was a hard-fought battle, but in the end, I won. If looks could kill… Nah, I think they secretly like me, that is what I keep telling myself.

The reefs at the Islands are the most beautiful we saw so far. The Starks were more in the water than on land, with some encouragement and a bubblehead charm, Jeyne Poole, Jorelle Mormont, and Missandei joined the swimmers, under the watchful eyes of Blacky, Gerion, and Rhaella. Those three were growing fast and powerful… and spoiled, after the maids overcame their fears, those three were always brushed first, not that the little ones minded much, they adored their bigger siblings.

We did not forget the lessons, after breakfast a half hour of Warging, flying lessons, including recognizing weather patterns and wind currents. After lunch, either a flight or a swim and practicing Magic, the rest of the day is free time. After dinner, we study or discuss politics until bedtime.

I finally found the maximum distance of my Portkeys. King's Landing was too far away for it. After a week I had to flame there to get Tyrion. Mum said that he passed out for three days, and just now recovered a bit.

When I got in his room, he said: "That was a horrible ride Snowy, that Portkey sucked me dry. Don't expect me to take one in the coming months, those things scare me to death now."

I nodded: "I agree, Tyrion, I can handle the distance alone, with you, I have to make a stop at Volantis before flaming to my destination."

Tyrion paled: "What if I stay here a bit longer?"

I turned serious: "No can do mate, Gerion misses you. He is growing up fast, remember that with our bond and Parselmagic, they gained intelligence far beyond what normal Dragons can achieve. These are the parental years Tyrion, not only for Gerion, you are important for the other Dragons and Riders too. Daenerys is becoming a good leader, but you are a natural for knowing what should be done, and getting it done."

Hmm? Is this enough pep talk? Do I have another go at it? I can't have that his head is getting too big… nah, that is mean. Ah, he is pepped, out of his bed anyway.

Tyrion sighed: "You have a point Snowy, I'll say goodbye to your Mum and Aunt. What do you think? A visit once a week or two weeks?"

I patted his back: "Once a week Tyrion, maybe I can spend some time with Tommen and Myrcella too. I have been neglecting them a bit these last months."

Mum heard me when she came into the room: "You better pay attention to your father, these last months he is drinking more than he should, and there are some shady movements in the Small Council. We didn't tell you, to not disturb your time with your dragons, but these last weeks we heard that some Crownlanders are planning a move."

I shook my head, getting something done by that old drunk is worse than herding a bunch of cats… that is the correct expression I hope. I'll pay him a visit tonight.