He sat in his study. She knew he had abandoned the manuscript. All that could mean was that he was in a deep black hole. Again. Unable to see the light.
Maybe he had taken some medication again without her knowing. Or maybe that was just what he had become. All that she knew was that anger was all that was left for her.
She had tried to overlook the signs. Tell herself he'll change, come around if enough time had passed. But somehow time itself didn't want to mend him.
She was growing tired of it.
„You know what I really hate about you? You've made me accept. Accept that life with you has to be this way. That there's no hope. That what we have is normal, all you could offer. I hate that you think that way and most of all… I hate that I believed you." He listened to her words, his fingers crossed in front of him. Like he seemed immune to her anger. His composure fuelled her outburst even more. How could he just sit there and listen?
"Nothing I'd disagree with." He said after a while. "I should have died a long time ago in that self made explosion but the universe decided I had a purpose to fulfil. So I did. But then I decided against the odds I wanted to live. Somehow tricked the devil. We know what happens when mankind tries to do that.. "
Angry tears were glistening on her cheeks. His words felt suffocating.
"Why can't you accept what you did was right? You deserve life, you deserve happiness!" she yelled.
"Maybe there is a continuation of existence for me. But not for you Evey... There is no life here."
Was he trying to break up with her?
"Why do you do this? Why do you push me away?" she said almost a whisper.
"I cannot change what is inevitable. The sooner you'll understand the sooner I'll be free of watching your suffering."
Enough. Evey had heard enough.
She slammed the door behind her. Acting like a sulky teenager wasn't like her at all. But she felt like running out of options. Frustrated she took her jacket and left.
The streets may give her comfort that he didn't want to provide for her.
It didn't help that she had nowhere to go. There was no family to rely on. No friends to know her whereabouts. There was a time where she enjoyed the movies or the bar. But going emotionally charged into a bar could not mean a good ending.
So she headed to the movies. The solitude in the darkness of a theatre would give her some sort of relief.
The lady behind the counter recommended a recent romcom. Alternatively an old black and white movie. Whatever. Evey didn't know if she would be able to concentrate anyway.
She took a seat close to the middle of the cinema. It was empty. Only a few young couples had found a place far in the back. They probably would begin to snog before the movie starts, she thought bitterly.
‚Something To Live For' it said on her ticket. She had never heard of that movie before.
As it turned out it was about an alcoholic actress stuck in a self-destructive relationship. Her lover who was a recovering addict was trying to help her, making everything worse. When she attended a meeting of the Anonymous Alcoholics, Evey couldn't hold it together anymore. Crying furiously she was starting to loose track of what happened on the screen. And no matter how hard she tried to calm herself, she couldn't stop. To her luck nobody seemed to care, as expected the other viewers were occupied with things unrelated to the movie.
She sat there long after the credits were done.
„Sorry, but you have to leave now. The next one is about to start." A cinema employee said, shaking her out of state of apathy.
It started raining on her way home. She didn't stop to look for a temporary shelter. She just walked and walked, until her clothes were soaking wet.
People under umbrellas were giving her weird looks. Evey didn't acknowledge them. She'd probably catch a cold but then… she didn't care. Half-way home she found a bench and decided to stop there. She had to sort her thoughts before going back to V.
It had stopped raining which made her drenched look even more odd. Her outburst earlier had just happened because V was getting the best of her.
It was just a stupid movie.
It didn't mean anything.
Her life was messy and she needed an excuse for a good crying session.
It didn't mean anything. She repeated. Again and again.
A small knock on her door announced that he had come out of his room. The sound annoyed her.
„I wanted to let you know that I didn't cook tonight."
„Fine." There's enough wine for dinner.
Everything that could be said was said, there was nothing left. She just had to accept that her life with V looked like this.
Nothing could be changed.
She pushed past him to go find her last remedy from the pantry.
Another one on Sunday, yay!
xx