Warnings for talk of cult leaders, cults and mass murder-suicides in cults, and for planned murder, and the suicide of a child and mention of sex with underage girls-pedophilia.

(I was very, very disgusted with Bellamy and Octavia, when I wrote this chapter)

The strength to give up

People assumed that when a person gave up or quit, they were weak. A "loser," somehow.

But what people that assumed that, didn't realize? Was that giving up sometimes, if not often, took a lot of strength.

It took strength to realize that you needed to walk away from a situation, no matter how much you wanted to hold on. You were told to be a good and loyal person, to always devote your time to someone else. Especially if you were a girl or woman. But sometimes? Sometimes you just had to give up on someone.

And that took a lot more strength than people wanted to admit.

Clarke? She didn't want to give up on the 100. Not even Bellamy. But she realized that she had to. She just had to.

Giving up any more of her time to them? That was just lunacy.

The definition of insanity? The definition was; doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results.

That was essentially what Clarke had been doing since the moment she had arrived on the ground in the dropship.

Doing the same thing again and again, and hoping for a different result.

But it always ended the same way.

Bellamy and the 100 were beyond help.

They cared only about themselves.

Even when Clarke had told them that the Ark would fail and everyone else inside would die, including the rest of the working class, which supposedly Bellamy and the 100 cared about, they just didn't care.

All they were asking, was what was in it for them.

You couldn't try to help people who only served themselves.

So, Clarke did the only thing she could think of doing. She left.

She would lead the others away from where the snake was that had attacked Octavia and away from where Jasper had been speared. She couldn't care less whether or not Octavia was killed by the snake or if Jasper got speared.

Not anymore.

But she would have to get Wells and the others away from danger. Then while the others were sleeping, she'd lead Wells away and talk with him.

Wells needed to know what was going on.

He needed to know why she was acting the way she was acting and that they were going to leave everyone else behind.

And they would need to leave Grounder territory and find somewhere, where the tribes weren't ruling.

Clarke wished that she could see things the same as she used to. That things were more gray than they were. That everyone deserved a chance to be helped and protected.

But the truth was this: everything was black and white. Simple as that.

People tried to pretend that the world was actually morally gray. They tried to muddy the waters, by saying that people were complicated and that some people were capable of change.

But that was bullshit.

Life was black and white and only black and white.

People only helped you when they needed you.

Life was black and white and people were either helpful or useless. People were either selfless or self-centered.

No in between.

Simple as that.

That was the part that no one wanted to acknowledge.

Life was black and white and a person was only a friend to you, either to gain something from you, then stab you in the back, or just to stab you in the back, because they wanted to.

Clarke wished she didn't think of things this way. But she did. She did now, anyway.

All she cared about now, was herself, Wells, Finn, and the rest of the Ark. That was it.

Clarke occasionally glanced down at her wrist, observing her soulmate mark.

She had no idea who her soulmate was. But that was fine. They were probably better off without her.

If she was so naïve as to trust Bellamy Blake not to leave her to die, maybe she couldn't be trusted to keep her mate safe.

Besides, she was going to be making a lot of cutthroat decisions.

Her mate, in general, most likely wouldn't want her after this.

That was fine with Clarke.

She had given up romance after she had learned that her mother had gotten her father executed, even if it had been unintentional.

And no, she hadn't given up on romance after she had found out that Finn and Raven had been an item.

She had been with Finn, because she had felt for him, when he had feared that he would never be reunited with his loved ones.

But her hopes for romance had been destroyed when she had learned that her mother had murdered her father.

How could someone kill their own spouse? Yes, Abby had only informed on her husband to Thelonius Jaha, however, she might as well have pressed the button to the airlock and got Jake Griffin sucked out of the Ark, herself, by informing on him to Jaha.

Finn and Raven's relationship hadn't been what destroyed Clarke's hope for romance.

Her mother and father's relationship had been.

So, her mate…unfortunately for them, would never know her-or perhaps, fortunately for them. She, after all, was making a very big life choice.

To completely forsake any mercy. Any forgiveness. Any trust.

Perhaps her mate, whoever they were? Had actually dodged a bullet by not being with her.

But in any case? Clarke had shit she needed to do. People she needed to save. And people she needed to kill.

She would need to get Wells and the others away safely. Then sneak back and kill Bellamy, Octavia, Murphy and Mbege.

Clarke glanced back to Wells as she moved through the brush.

She wondered how she was going to go about telling Wells about all this. Where did she even begin?

Wells needed to know. And deserved to know, as he was one of the few people that actually was loyal to her, and always had been.

Clarke clenched her teeth, thinking about how Abby had never told her about having sold out Jake Griffin to Jaha, essentially letting Wells, Clarke's best friend, and who was just a teenager, like Abby's daughter, take the fall for the betrayal Jake had suffered.

Her mother was trash.

That she understood by this point. Trash, just like Bellamy and Octavia and Murphy and Mbege.

And Wells was the most loyal person she had ever met.

So, Wells both deserved and needed to know.

But how was she to go about explaining all this to him?

Firstly, there was the whole "time travel" thing. That already was unbelievable as it was.

Then there was her decision. To completely throw the rest of the 100 away.

Because she had to. Because the rest of the Ark would not survive, if she didn't.

She would explain as best as she could to Wells. But she hoped he understood her reasons.

Wells? He was someone with a very strong moral compass. Selfless. He was exactly one of those "selfless individuals" that you always hoped would be in your corner when the going got tough.

Which meant that she'd need to be careful when explaining the situation.

As they reached the further part of the forest, they found several glowing blue butterflies.

"Oh, wow," Harper said, cupping her hands and holding them.

Thankfully, Octavia had decided to stay behind, upon hearing how much of an asshole Clarke was.

And Clarke was quite grateful for.

Because fuck Octavia. But not really. Because no one should have to fuck someone like Octavia. And especially not Bellamy.

Which led to the thought of how the hell those young girls that had sex with Bellamy, didn't throw up every second they were with him.

Because honestly? Even before Bellamy had left her to die? Clarke always felt a bit disgusted by him.

Honestly, everything about him repulsed her, creeped her out. And she honestly didn't think he was that attractive.

There was just something about the way he smiled that made her feel like bile was going to rise up in her throat.

He really repulsed her.

Before all this, she had decided to move past that feeling of repulsion. But not anymore.

Now, she realized that the repulsion she felt, stemmed from something deeper than just Bellamy's creepy-ass smile or just everything that surrounded his persona.

There was something deeply wrong with him.

Something clearly so wrong, it emanated from his bones.

She wasn't sure she'd go so far as to say that she hated him. She realized that he wasn't worth her hate.

He just made her sad and tired. He was literally an example of the worst version of humanity. In other words, someone who probably shouldn't be allowed to live all that long.

She vaguely wondered if the Blake siblings had bad blood in their veins or something. That was probably a condescending and terrible thing to wonder, but she had to question that. Because, well, both Bellamy and Octavia were so self-centered and so horrid people…was there just a shared trait which they had inherited from their mother, or something?

From what Clarke remembered hearing the Blake siblings say about their mother, she had been a good mother and a wonderful person. Which led Clarke to the conclusion that this trait, whatever it was, had skipped a generation, then had dropped onto both Bellamy and Octavia.

Well, in any case, it didn't matter where Bellamy and Octavia's "sickness" came from.

That wasn't her problem.

Not anymore.

The fact that she had idiotically made it her problem by caring about the two of them, had been foolish on her part.

That was why she had to be smarter than before.

She had to leave both Blake siblings behind.

They were a disease. Better to be left behind ages ago.

Clarke knew that this was a derogatory thing to think of the two of them, but when she thought of them? She was reminded of those biological throwbacks you'd see in science textbooks.

Beings that probably had some fucked up caveperson ancestry that was more direct in Bellamy and Octavia's blood, than in anyone else's.

She was thinking some pretty hateful things. She was aware of this.

But she didn't care.

As far as she could tell, she had some strong evidence to support this.

That strong evidence being, her own experiences and what she had witnessed the Blake siblings doing to other people.

There was no excuse for how Bellamy and Octavia tended to treat people. There was no other explanation.

Except that biologically speaking? They were throwbacks.

That of course, was a horrific way to see the world. But she didn't know how else to think about Bellamy and Octavia.

And she would never claim that she was the biological pinnacle of humanity. She definitely would never claim that.

But Wells? Wells was exactly the example of how a human being should be. Intelligent. Selfless. Loyal. Practical. And aware of the consequences of his actions and of the actions of others.

Clarke tried not to snort cynically, as she cast a look at Charlotte. Wells was exactly how people should be, so of course, someone had killed him, almost as soon as the 100 had come down.

Again, Clarke had to remind herself that Charlotte was just a small child. And therefore, she shouldn't raise a hand to the girl.

It would be better if she explained to Charlotte, not to harm anyone and that Wells was not his father.

Still, the memory of finding Wells's body soon after she and the rest of the 100 had come down in the dropship, made her want to put her hands around Charlotte's throat and squeeze.

But she stopped herself. Killing Charlotte would probably be the one thing that Wells wouldn't be able to abide.

Killing children, understandably, would actually make him disturbed at her.

Bellamy was the type to be okay with those sorts of things.

And no, she hadn't forgotten how devastated Bellamy had been by Charlotte's death.

But? How had he reacted soon after Charlotte's death? Oh, right, soon after Charlotte's death, and after Clarke had suggested that they come up with stricter rules to protect themselves, what had he said? He had just seen a small, young girl die, fling herself off of a cliff, and his reaction was to scream in the face of the one person who was trying to help him, Clarke, and screamed, "Rules?! YOU?!"

All he cared about, was screaming at someone who he hated and cared more about who called the shots.

Not about keeping the kids in the 100, safe.

That alone should have been a gargantuan warning sign to her. Really, as soon as Bellamy reacted that way after Charlotte had died? Clarke should have headed for the hills.

She should have seen how much of a biological throwback Bellamy was.

Because what else would you call someone who reacted in such a way, when a small, ten-year-old child just committed suicide?

There was no other explanation. And Clarke should have fled ages ago.

But that was all there was to it. The world sucked, she was a complete fool to trust the people that she had trusted, and Bellamy and Octavia, were biological mistakes.

No help for that.

Well, she had hopefully learned better now.

The fact was this; she had to be much, much more careful about who she trusted, this time.

Trusting Bellamy, Octavia, Murphy, Mbege or any of the others with Bellamy, was clearly out, completely.

The people that Clarke had with her?

She would never trust Charlotte, Jasper, Monty or Finn.

And she was debating about Harper, Fox, Monroe and Sterling.

Wells essentially, was the only one, as far as she knew, that she could trust, for sure.

When she and the others reached a place to sit down for a while, she would have to get Wells alone and explain everything.

She hoped he took it alright.

They got through the forest, avoiding bodies of water that might just have large snakes in it, and avoiding the bodies of water where there might be people from tribes that were intending to throw spears at unarmed teenagers.

The group finally reached a more or less safe place, when the sun began to set.

The others curled up on the ground, getting ready to sleep. Finn tried to speak to Clarke and she ordered him, steel in her voice, "Get the fuck out of my sight and sleep," as she did, Finn wisely backed away.

He curled up next to Jasper and Monty and tried to get to sleep.

Clarke kept an eye on Charlotte, who was between Harper and Fox, but was relieved to see that the small girl was asleep.

Clarke led Wells over to a spot of soil a few feet from the others and she gestured for him to sit down in front of her.

He did and she sat in front of him and said, "Okay, Wells," she took a deep breath, "I'm going to need to tell you something, and please believe me, even if it's insane, okay?"

Wells hesitated, then nodded.

Clarke started slowly and explained everything, as best as she could.

When she was done, Wells's eyes widened.

"What the fuck?" He said, unable to help the vulgarity from coming out.

Clarke chuckled.

She supposed only this ridiculous situation would bring such a word from Wells.

Wells normally, would never curse like that. But if nothing else, his cursing, probably indicated that he understood how fucked up this situation actually was.

Clarke nodded, smirking, "What the fuck, indeed."

Wells shook his head. "But," he said, "I just don't get it."

Clarke chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to be a bit more specific there, buddy."

Wells smiled slightly as he said, "I mean that about a lot of things you just me. But specifically, about Bellamy. I don't get it. You did nothing but try to help. And what did he do? He left you to die? And that's not even thinking about the rest of what that asshole did. What the hell? How was he not arrested ages ago and executed. I feel like that's a person that's not very good at pretending to be a good citizen."

Clarke nodded.

Honestly, that was a good question. How the hell had Bellamy not been executed on the Ark, ages ago?

She had even heard how Octavia had been arrested on the Ark. Because Octavia's idiot brother, had brought her to that dance and Octavia had been caught by another guard.

So, if Bellamy was that stupid, how had he not been caught and floated ages ago?

It was Bellamy and he was just a repulsive, violent person that liked to hurt people and have sex with underage girls.

So, how had he not been caught ages ago?

Well, no matter. He was not going to survive her. She would track him down, grab his gun, shoot him.

There was only one thing for a worthless piece of trash. And that was death.

Clarke wasn't sure how she had gotten this severe and this harsh. She was positive that it hadn't just been her death, and it hadn't just been seeing Bellamy leaving her to die.

No, it had been everything. Everything building up.

Bellamy and Octavia's refusal to work with her, without throwing over a dozen resentful comments at her.

Bellamy essentially getting Wells killed, even if it had been unintentional-but she seriously doubted that Bellamy felt too bad about Wells dying.

Bellamy still spiting her even after she tried to help him, over and over again, including after Charlotte committed suicide.

What was there to do about someone like that? And what was more, what was there to do about people who continued to follow someone like that, no matter what that someone did?

The answer was very simple. Leave that person to die. Leave those following that person, to die. And make sure that that person was killed.

Clarke thought about what the rest of the 100 were going to do, after she killed Bellamy, Octavia, Mbege and Murphy.

She of course, would make sure that she was never found out.

But still, what would the 100 do after their "great leader's" death?

Clarke fought a snicker. Disturbingly, Clarke found that she didn't care.

If the 100 were stupid enough to follow someone like that, someone like Bellamy, then didn't they deserve to be left astray?

Who cared what happened to them?

Roma, Jones, Dax, Connor, Myles, Drew, Atom-the rest that had followed Bellamy, oh, so happily? Who fucking cared about them?

It was like getting rid of a cult, nothing else.

Clarke had used to watch old news stories on her dad's iPad. Those stories were a lot like movies for her.

And yes, she had watched the more messed up news stories, even when she had been a kid.

Again, it was like watching a movie. And watching the more messed up stories, was like watching one of those movies you knew you weren't supposed to watch when you were a kid.

And one of the old news stories she had watched, had been about this cult that had committed mass murder-suicide, in a town near Las Vegas. It had been in July, 1952.

The cult had been called "The Saints of Tomorrow."

And the one that had orchestrated everything, had been named Jason Esposito.

The way that Bellamy acted? The way he looked, even? Reminded Clarke of Jason Esposito.

Honestly, everything about Bellamy, reminded Clarke of that news story about Jason Esposito.

It was enough to make her blood run cold.

Her eyes widened with realization.

That was it. That was what she had felt when she was around Bellamy. She remembered feeling so utterly disturbed by Jason Esposito, when reading up on him. And she had felt that same disturbed feeling whenever she had been around Bellamy, too.

There was the connection.

Bellamy essentially, was a cult leader. And his obedient drones would have to one day learn how to live without him.

As much as Clarke would like to have fun watching that? She knew she couldn't. She would kill Bellamy, Octavia, Mbege and Murphy, but that was it. She would allow Bellamy's little cult members run around and try desperately to figure out how to survive without their cult leader.

As much as she would like to watch them panic and live like that, she and the others would be gone by that point.

But no, Clarke would not care what happened to the rest of the 100.

Clarke then spoke softly to Wells, hoping he went along with this plan. She told him what she was planning on doing to Bellamy, Octavia, Mbege and Murphy.

She watched as her brother's eyes widened.

Then she smiled as she watched him nod.

"Okay," he said, "I'll help. Whatever you need, Clarke? I'll help."

Clarke smiled. She always knew that she could trust him.

Always. And this time, she'd make sure that he survived.

He was the only one she could trust, as far as she could tell.

Author's note

I think I may have made my hate for Bellamy a bit evident in this chapter.

If anyone's wondering, I made up the cult of "The Saints of Tomorrow." I didn't use an actual real life murder-suicide cult, because I didn't feel comfortable with that, out of respect for the victims' families.

Coming up with the name of the cult leader, was easy enough. I mean, who wouldn't instantly think of the first name, "Jason," for a cult leader, when assholes like Jason Rothenberg opens his idiotic mouth?