lil shorty for everyone! I just feel like the 19x18 needed something else. lol like hi where are they.
Homeward - Dermot Kennedy
It's been a while since he's seen her like this. Things have been great between them. Better than ever. They are moving forward with life, they love each other, they're on track to being disgustingly happy again. Most nights he'd come to her cooking or dancing around with the kids. But tonight felt eery. It felt quiet. Too quiet. No kids screaming running toward him, or soft hum of some jazz song floating from the kitchen. All he sees is her sitting on the counter staring off. She doesn't even notice him coming in.
If this was a few years ago, hell, even a few months ago, this would probably concern him. But this was nothing like the episode she had before. She's there. She's not catatonic at all. Just distracted. He watches her as she shifts her eyes from the nothingness in front of her down to her feet, watching her legs swinging and she wipes a tear with the back of her hand. She takes a deep breath, shaking it off, as she hops off the counter. Then she finally notices him. She gives him a sad smile. As if to say, hey I'm okay, I'm just having a day.
Wordlessly, he just paces to her and holds her close. One arm around her waist, the other up her back. His hand cradling the back of her head. He wants her to feel safe and loved and heard and cared for. Their days are not easy at all. They lose lives under their touch all the time. This is not uncommon. They feel some responsibility even though they did everything they can. They are human and they feel that grief every single time they lose a patient. It doesn't get any easier.
He feels her sigh against him. He feels her relief that she's being held. That someone's got her. He leaves a kiss on the side of her head.
"Should we order some sushi tonight? Will that help?" He says, letting her head go to rub the length of her back. She nods against his chest. "I'm sorry about your patient" He whispers again and gives her a squeeze.
She squeezes him back and pulls away "Thank you" She whispers and leaves a peck on his lips.
She frees himself from his grasps and reaches for her phone on the counter. "The usual sushi place?" She asks, trying to be nonchalant.
He nods and heads over to the fridge and grabs a beer for the both of them. They sit in silence, a comfortable one. She'll talk when she's ready. He's not one to push. He knows that she'll take one sip, and then a deep breath, and she will shake off the heavy feeling and she will lean against the kitchen counter and give him a real smile. And with her usual sweet wife voice, very different from her chief voice, she will ask
"how was your day, babe?"