New Author's Note: Not going to change most of the OG author's notes, if I add anything new I'll just label it as new.

Cover Art: Cruz7808

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S1E2: Red Gets a Delivery

"So wanna start the next one?" Jaune asked.

"Yeah, hope that intro doesn't play every time. It would take up the whole episode." Weiss commented.

Jaune hit play.

Instead of an intro a black screen with the words "Red gets a delivery" appeared with the usual Red vs Blue guitar theme.

"What was the last episode called?" Ruby asked.

"Why are we here I think." Ren said looking through his notes.

Grif and Simmons run up in front of Sarge, and stand there

Sarge: "Hurry up ladies, this ain't no ice cream social!"

Simmons: "Ice cream social?"

Sarge: "Stop the pillow-talk you two. Anyone want to guess, why I gathered you here, today?"

Grif: "Um, is it because the war's over and you're sending us home?"

Sarge: "That's exactly it, private. War's over. We won. Turns out you're the big hero, and we're gonna hold a parade in your honor. I get to drive the float, and Simmons here, is in charge of confetti!"

"Wow, he's mean." Jaune said.

"He has to be, he's a general and it's important to keep his troops in line." Weiss said. "I wonder who will win? Blue team seems to be dysfunctional and I don't know if we've seen their leader yet."

"Maybe their Sarge can keep them in line?" Ren said.

"Hmm, we'll see, but this one has an odd way of speaking." Pyrrha said.

"Yeah, weird accent." Ruby said.

Grif: "I'm no stranger to sarcasm, sir."

Sarge: "God dammit private, shut your mouth or else I'll have Simmons slit your throat while you're asleep!"

"Woah, doesn't like Grif at all." Yang chuckled.

"He's really mean." Ruby frowned.

"I like him! Maybe if he was helping me, we could whip you all into shape for the big tournament!" Nora shouted.

The rest of team JNPR ignored her and Jaune hit play again.

"Hmm, monotheistic religion said god not gods." Ren mumbled.

Simmons: "Oh, I'd do it too."

Sarge: "I know you would Simmons… good man. Couple of things today ladies. Command has seen fit to increase our ranks here at Blood Gulch Outpost Number 1."

"Outpost number 1" Ren mumbled.

"He's a good man for agreeing to kill his teammate?" Blake said confused.

"The audio quality is kind of bad." Jaune commented.

"Maybe it's old?" Weiss said mainly to Ren who jotted it into his notes.

Grif: "Crap, we're getting a rookie."

Sarge: "That's right dead man. Our new recruit will be here within the week. But today, we received the first part of our shipment from Command. Lopez… bring up the vehicle."

A jeep emerges from the hill behind Sarge

"Wow that's so cool! It's like if Coco put her gun on the car. But its different for some reason? The turret end is a triangle instead of a circle wouldn't that-" Ruby started to say.

"Ruby, please let's just watch." Yang said, stopping her from explaining and going off about weapons.

"Wait, Ruby keep going." Ren said holding his note pad and pencil at the ready.

Ruby beamed "the triangle at the end, it might be to… oh, oh! It might decrease weapon wobble! It'll increase accuracy because of the difficulty to turn. -keep it straight, wow! I should run this by Coco."

Ren finished his Notes as Ruby texted Coco.

Simmons: "Shotgun!"

Grif: "Shotgun! Fuck!"

Sarge: "May I introduce, our new light reconnaissance vehicle. It has four inch armor plating, maaag buffer suspension, a mounted machine gunner position, and total seating for three. Gentlemen, this is the M12-LRV! I like to call it the Warthog."

Simmons: "Why 'Warthog' sir?"

Sarge: "Because M12-LRV is too hard to say in conversation, son."

Grif: "No, but… why 'Warthog' ? I mean, it doesn't really look like a pig…"

Ruby was practically drooling at the sight of the Warthog's gun.

"So an alternate universe but they still have the same animals? I wonder what's different about this one." Pyrrha asked.

"That is to assume it's from a different universe which I don't believe." Weiss said, crossing her arms.

Sarge: "Say that again?"

Grif: "I think it looks more like a puma."

Sarge: "What in sam hill is a puma?"

Simmons: "Uh… you mean like the shoe company?"

"Shoe company? I wonder if that means a shoe company in the show or in the world or universe or wherever that this is made in." Jaune wondered aloud.

"It's not from another universe that's impossible." Weiss said, getting frustrated.

Grif: "No, like a puma it's a big cat, like a lion."

"Blake?"

"I'm gonna stop you right there Yang, no"

Sarge: "You're making that up."

Grif: "I'm telling you, it's a real animal!"

Sarge: "Simmons, I want you to poison Grif's next meal."

Simmons: "Yes sir!"

Sarge: "Look, see these two tow hooks? They look like tusks. And what kind of animal has tusks?"

"A boarbatusk" Ruby said.

"Animal." Weiss corrected.

"Oh yeah, I wonder if they have Grimm in their world? Or in the show?" Ruby asked.

"Well, they are on a ring world." Ren said.

"What?" Jaune asked confused.

"You all didn't notice? In the intro it showed the man in gray in a ship of some kind that overlooked a huge ring in space." Ren explained.

"Huh Is that Like their planets?" Nora wondered. "The rings I mean." She said, trying to explain.

"No, there was also a regular planet in the background." Ren said.

Grif: "A walrus."

Sarge: "Didn't I just tell you to stop makin up animals!"

the scene changed to Show Church with a zoomed in sniper rifle on the reds.

"Ohh! Look, that sniper has eight times optical zoom! Mine only has four." Ruby said, amazed.

"How can you tell?" Jaune asked.

"Bottom right of the reticle, it always says the zoom, standard issue for snipers." Ruby explained.

"Oh" Jaune hummed.

Tucker: "What is that thing?"

Church: "I don't know, but it looks like uh… looks like they got some kinda car down there. We'd better get back to base and report it."

Tucker: "A car? How come they get a car?"

Church: "What are you complaining about man? We're about to get a tank in the very next drop."

"Church sounds like dad!" Ruby yelled.

Yang let out a loud shout. "Oh! I knew I recognized that voice somewhere. He sounds almost exactly like dad!"

"What? Really." Jaune said, pausing the show. "Cool."

"That's so weird." Nora said "what if it's your dad in the other universe!"

"It's not another universe! That's impossible." Weiss shouted.

"Is dad pranking us? This feels way too elaborate." Yang chuckled. "Unless somehow he joined forces with Uncle Qrow."

"Hold on hold on, I'm gonna call dad and get him to say the same line." Ruby said.

"Good idea!" Yang said, huddling around Ruby's scroll.

*Riiiiinnng Riiiinnn-*

Their dad picked up almost instantly.

"Hey Ruby! Why are you calling again so soon?" Tai asked.

"Hey dad this is gonna sound weird but can you say something for me?" Ruby asked.

"Uhh what is it?" He asked.

"Say what are you complaining about man? We're about to get a tank in the very next drop." Ruby said.

"… Why?" He asked.

"We'll explain later just do it!" Yang said.

"Yang? Am I on speaker?" Tai asked.

"Uhh yeah" Ruby said, cringing.

"… why again"

"Just say it." Ruby ordered.

"On one condition."

"What is it?"

"You two take Zwei back, I don't care if your team member Blake doesn't like him, I can't have him alo-"

"Yes! Yes, send him back dad please!" Ruby begged.

"Ok deal, uh-"

"Wait wait wait!" Blake shouted.

"What?" Ruby asked.

"I don't want that monster back here." Blake said angrily.

"Zwei's cute! He's not a monster why do you hate dogs." Ruby said defending Zwei.

"I just do," Blake said crossing her arms.

"Way to adhere to Faunus stereotypes Blake." Yang taunted with a knowing grin. She knew Blake would back down now.

Blake glared at Yang for a second. "Fine"

"Yay! Ok dad go."

"Uh what are you complaining about… uh man. We are going to get a tank in the next drop." He said sounding exactly like Church.

"Wow that's so cool! Ok thanks dad bye!" Ruby said hanging up before he could protest.

"He sounded so spot on." Jaune commented.

"That still doesn't mean this is from another universe." Weiss said, crossing her arms again.

"Oh stop complaining, in a day or two Zwei will be here." Yang said, Weiss smiled at the thought of seeing Zwei again.

Jaune hit play before anyone could interrupt again.

Tucker: "You can't pick up chicks in a tank."

"Why not?" Ruby asked, ignoring Jaune's frustrated face when He paused again.

"Ruby just because you get all hot and bothered over weaponry doesn't mean everyone else does." Yang teased.

Ruby blushed "what! No! That's not what I meant, can't tanks seat a bunch of people?" Ruby asked deflecting.

"You would know Ruby." Weiss said. Jaune and Pyrrha chuckled at their antics.

Church: "Oh, you know what, you could bitch about anything, couldn't you? We're gonna get a tank, and you're worried about chicks. What chicks are we gonna pick up man!? Firay- and secondly, how are we gonna pick up chicks in a car that looks like that?"

"Just ask Ruby if she wants to see the inside of the tank." Yang chuckled.

Ruby growled, "I'm not stupid, that's the same as someone asking if I want to see the inside of their unmarked white van."

Tucker: "Well what kind of car is it?"

Church: "I don't know, I've never seen a car that looks like that before, it looks like a uh… like a big cat of some kind."

Tucker: "… what, like a puma?"

Church: "Yeah man, there ya go."

Back to the reds

Sarge: "So unless anybody else has any more mythical creatures to suggest as a name for the new vehicle, we're gonna stick with 'the Warthog'. How about it Grif?"

Grif: "No sir, no more suggestions."

Sarge: "Are you sure? How 'bout Bigfoot?"

"What kind of mythical creature is named bigfoot?" Yang mumbled.

"Ooo maybe it steps on people!" Nora made a squashing gesture.

Grif: "That's okay."

Sarge: "Unicorn?"

Grif: "No really, I'm… I'm cool."

Sarge: "Sasquatch?"

Simmons: "Leprechaun?"

"What are those things?" Ruby asked.

"Well, the sergeant said mythical creatures so maybe these are mythical creatures in this universe." Pyrrha explained.

"It is not another universe." Weiss grumbled, getting angrier.

Grif: "Hey, he doesn't need any help man."

Sarge: "phoenix?"

Grif: "*Sigh* ugh Christ"

"Christ? Is that a curse word?" Ruby asked the resident expert of curses, Yang.

"Not that I know of. Could be a curse word in this uni-"

"It is NOT another universe, it's hackers!" Weiss yelled.

"Woah calm down Weiss-Cream"

"Weiss cream?" Weiss asked.

"You hate Ice Queen" Yang explained.

"That's not exactly better." Weiss said.

Sarge: "Hey Simmons, what's the name of that Mexican lizard, eats all the goats?"

"Mexican?" Nora said looking to Ren who shrugged.

Simmons: "Uh, that would be the Chupacabra, sir!"

Sarge: "Hey Grif! Chupathingie, how 'bout that? I like it! Got a ring to it.."

The screen faded to black.

"Next episode?" Jaune asked. Everyone agreed.

"Weiss cream" is something thought up by the best fanfiction writer I've seen so far Coeur Al'Aran not me. Hope you all enjoyed the chapter please review and let me know where I can improve, knowing people care will get me all the way up to season 10.