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S3E3: The Rookies

"Wait before we start it, we need to get snacks." Ruby said to a lot of agreement.

"So does that mean we are going to binge the show?" Jaune asked, looking around.

Yang and Ruby seemed to be very interested already but probably just because Church sounded like their dad.

Ren was obviously excited over the whole "different universe" thing. Blake hasn't complained yet.

Unlike Weiss… she might just want to watch the show out of spite or because there's nothing else to do. She might also try to find some proof that it's not from another universe.

Pyrrha didn't seem to mind, Nora was Nora and well, nuff said. Everyone muttered some agreements except Weiss who huffed.

"Weiss?" Jaune questioned.

"It's immature and hackers showed it to us, but… Fine, I'll watch it." She said with a hint of a smile.

"Yaayy! Weiss is on board!" Ruby yelled, hugging Weiss.

"If you keep hugging me I'll do homework instead." Weiss threatened.

"Don't you just have Professor Ports homework?" Yang asked, raising an eyebrow.

Weiss sighed and lightly hugged Ruby back. Ruby's smile was practically glowing, Weiss looked around for help to get the mass of happiness off her to no avail. Weiss eventually had no choice but to stand up as Ruby held on hanging off her like a baby.

"Yang do you have enough snacks for all of us back in your room? We only have pancakes." Jaune asked.

"Yeah we have a bunch, come on." Yang said, grabbing Jaune's arm and dragging him across the hall.

Jaune wrenched his arm free when he got into their dorm. He didn't notice before but it was a mess. There was practically only one clean spot around Weiss and Blakes bunk but that was it. Blakes porn stash was very poorly hidden, luckily it was nowhere near the food.

"ok what food are we getting?" Jaune asked.

"I'll say a snack and you say yay or nay." Yang said, rummaging through the mini fridge and cupboard.

"Ok, shoot."

"Pumpkin Petes?"

"Yay, a definite must have." Jaune said, grabbing the box.

"Uh what kind of chips? I basically have every brand." Yang asked.

"Well we're binging it right? All of them, yay, yay, and yay."

"Rest in peace Ruby's diet." Yang said, sighing.

"Ruby is on a diet?" Jaune asked.

"Only by her definition." Yang said laughing. "Her speed combined with junk food doesn't end well so she's trying to quit."

"Think this will be enough? Ruby's quote unquote diet will likely be eating all the cookies before we can touch them." Jaune said, carrying his fill of snacks.

"It'll be fine, besides I'm not that hungry anyway are you?" Yang asked.

"No, hey- did they start it without us!?" Jaune yelled when He heard music coming from the room. He opened the door quickly to see Weiss picking strings on his guitar.

They locked eyes for a second, the rate at which her face turned from pale to beat red was incredible.

"I didn't know you could play the guitar." Jaune said.

"I can't… I mean not really." Weiss said, shoving the guitar away perhaps too quickly.

"Wow, hey Weiss you want an apple?" Yang teased holding up an apple that was almost as red as her face. Weiss huffed but accepted it. Jaune divvied up the snacks between them all and sat down with his bag of chips.

He hit play and episode 3 started playing.

"The rookies" appeared on the screen with the theme.

Simmons and Grif at the red base. Donut in red armor is walking up the ramp behind them

Simmons: "Hey that's not exactly what happened."

Grif: "Yes it is. You said "I'm not going to the Vegas Quadrant," and then the next thing I know you're in an escape pod headed for-"

Donut in Red Armor: "Excuse me uh, sirs."

"Two red soldiers? That's gonna get confusing." Ruby said.

"Confusing for you." Yang teased.

Ruby stuck her tongue out at Yang as Jaune hit play.

Simmons: "Sirs?"

Grif: "Ah crap."

Donut: "I was told to report to Blood Gulch Outpost Number One and speak to whoever's in charge?"

Grif: "Sorry man, Sarge is at Command getting orders. Ain't nobody in charge today."

Simmons: "Actually private, he left me in charge while he's gone."

Grif: "You are such a kiss-ass."

"I think I know a kissass sitting in this room." Yang commented.

"Excuse me?" Pyrrha said surprised.

"Uh, can I correct that to former kissass." Yang said.

"You're talking about me aren't you." Weiss said angrily.

"Your words."

"Crudely put but I was once a teachers pet." Weiss said.

"Used to be?" Blake said with a hint of a smile on her face.

Weiss huffed "just like you used to be in the White Fang."

"Oh Weiss just pulled out the big guns." Nora said like a wrestling commentator.

Jaune frantically hit play before his room got trashed.

Simmons: "Also, he told me if I had any trouble from you I should… (clears throat) "Git in the Warthog, 'nd crush yer head like a tomato-can."

Grif: "That's the worst impression I've ever heard." Simmons: "Okay rookie, what's your story?"

Donut: "Private Donut reporting for duty, sir. I'm ready to fight some aliens."

"So in the show are they fighting aliens or in the world where this show is made?" Nora asked.

"It's. Not. From. Another. Universe." Weiss said angrily.

Ren ignored her. "Ruby said this game looked old, if they made contact with aliens I would assume they would have more advanced technology. It could be just a part of the show, or the game this show is being made in."

"Oh I didn't think of it that way." Ruby said surprised.

Grif: "Couple things here, rookie. First off, private Donut? I think somebody needs a new nickname. Secondly, what's with the armor color?"

Donut: "This is the standard issue red."

Grif: "Yeah, I know. Listen. Only two kinds of people wear standard issue armor: officers and recruits. And since you're not threatening to gut me like a fish, you're probably not an officer."

Donut: "Well, he's wearing red armor…"

Simmons: "No, my armor is maroon. Your armor is red."

Donut: "Well how do I get a different color armor?"

Simmons: "I bet the blues don't have to put up with this kind of crap."

cut to Church, Tucker, and Caboose looking at a Sheila

"Hmm, Sheila and Caboose" Ren muttered.

"What? How do you know." Nora asked.

Ren simply held up his notepad. "The intro."

Caboose: "So I say to the guy, 'how're you gonna get the tank down to the planet?' And he goes, 'I'll just put it on the ship' and I go, 'if you've got a ship that can carry a tank, why not just put guns on the ship and use it instead?'"

"Or both! Weiss, can Atlas ships do that?" Ruby asked excitedly.

"Yes, Atlas ships can carry a lot of heavy armor."

Tucker: "Hey kid."

Caboose: "Yeah?"

Tucker: "You're ruining the moment. Shut up."

Caboose: "Oh. Okay. You got it man!"

Church: "You know what? I could blow up the whole God damn world with this thing."

"I bet you could!" Ruby said practically drooling. "That tank looks amazing! Looks like a scorpion, four treads? Navigation over rough terrain would be child's play, that barrel? Could easily fire a shot up to a mile wow!" Ruby said quickly sketching the tank in her notebook.

Back to the red base

Simmons: "Okay, Private Donut, here's the deal."

Grif: "I just refuse to call him Private Donut!"

Ruby started chuckling. "Private Donut."

Yang started chuckling next to her too.

"I kind of like the name." Jaune commented.

Simmons: "We've got a very important mission for you. You think you can handle it?"

Donut: "Absolutely!"

Simmons: "We need you to go to the store, and get two quarts of Elbow Grease."

Grif: "Yeah and um, pick up some Headlight Fluid for the Puma too."

Ruby groaned while Yang burst out laughing.

"What?" Jaune asked.

"Yang asked me to get Headlight fluid for her bike once too." Ruby huffed out.

"And?"

Yang started laughing even more. Ruby threw a pillow at her. "Ok shut up! I was thirteen! I didn't know what headlight fluid was."

"What is it?" Jaune asked, wondering.

"It doesn't exist." Blake explained.

"Oh, that's mean Yang. What happened Ruby?" Jaune asked.

"I was in the store for like two hours! And when I asked the guy at the register he LAUGHED at me!" Ruby huffed.

"And I got it all on video!" Yang said laughing. "They sent me the security footage, no audio but somehow that makes it funnier to me."

"Ohh let me see!" Nora shouted.

"Yang you told me you deleted it!"

"And you told me you didn't scare away my first boyfriend!"

"It was dad!"

"You helped!"

Jaune hit play before yet another argument started.

Donut: "The what?"

Simmons: "He means the Warthog."

Grif: "You do know where the store is, right rookie?"

Donut: "What? Yeah, yeah, of course I do. Sure, no problem."

Simmons: "Well, get going then."

Donut starts running across the base

Grif: "Other way."

Donut turns around and goes the other way

Donut: "I knew that. Just, got turned around, that's all."

Grif and Simmons watch Donut running off into the Gulch

Simmons: "How long do you think until he figures out there's no store?"

Grif: "I say, at least a week."

"See Ruby? I'm not that mean." Yang said. Ruby just huffed and munched on a cookie.

cut to Donut running through the Gulch, stops and turns to talk to himself

Donut: "Elbow Grease, how stupid do they think I am? Once I get back to base with that Headlight Fluid, I'm gonna talk to the Sargeant."

Back to the blue base

Tucker: "You know what? Forget what I said before. We can definitely pick up chicks in this thing. Probably two or three chicks a piece."

"As if women are that easy." Pyrrha said, crossing her arms.

"Well they could pick up Ruby." Yang said laughing.

"Why are you talking? You're pretty eas-uh- uh- nevermind." Ruby said, turning away.

"No no no, Ruby finish that thought. I dare you. Please, I Implore you. Don't stop on my account." Yang said, her eyes flashing Red.

"Don't get all worked up Yang." Ruby sighed, "I've seen you beat up more boyfriends who got handsy than I can remember."

Yang laughed, "I would barely call them boyfriends."

Church: "Oh man, listen to you. What're you gonna do with two chicks?"

Tucker: "Church, women are like Voltron. The more you can hook up, the better it gets."

"Voltron?" Ruby asked.

"Another reference from the other universe." Ren said, writing it down.

Weiss huffed angrily.

Back to Grif and Simmons at the red base

Simmons: "You think that we were too mean to the kid?"

"Yes" Ruby said.

"No" Yang said at the exact same time.

Grif: "Nah, he'll just wander around on the cliffs for a few hours. What's the worst that could happen?"

Donut is approaching the blue base

Donut: "Finally, there it is. OH SWEET, THEY SELL TANKS" The scene cut to black

Jaune laughed lightly. "Ok next episode?" Jaune asked. Everyone nodded.

Edit: I'm listening to the Halo 3 soundtrack while I edit this to take out the Jaune's POV parts and put in the transcripts and it is amazing.