Author's Note:

Ok so quick announcement, uh I got a lot more views and support than I thought I would so thanks really I'm just amazed. My last fanfiction was awful and I got maybe 1000 views over two months. On this one though… I got over 1000 in one night so WOW. I'm definitely gonna keep this going thanks for the support guys.

Cover Art: Cruz7808

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S1E4: Head Noob in Charge

"I am hitting play" Jaune huffed, frustrated.

"Well if you were hitting play then it would be playing." Ruby said equally frustrated.

"Wow what do you know? A show shown to us by hackers isn't working." Weiss said sarcastically.

"Weiss when someone asks for your opinion, we will let you know, because right now? It's about as useful as a paper mache Grimm shelter." Yang gritted out through her teeth.

For the past ten minutes they have been trying to get the show to play but all that comes up is an annoying error message.

"I wonder how useful Paper Mache armor would be?" Ruby said mostly to herself.

"Yang, check the cables, see if we knocked one out." Jaune ordered.

"Who made you the boss of me?" She asked.

"Apparently Hackers did when they chose my scroll." Jaune said hitting play for the hundredth time.

Yang sighed and went over to the Tv to check the cables. She looked around for a second before a loud groan escaped her mouth.

"Nora?" Yang asked, looking over to the guilty orange haired maniac, who was currently stuffing her face with Ren's pancakes.

"Mfpm?"

"Why is there syrup all over the cables?"

…

…

"I dunno."

"Nora, we've been here for about 30 minutes, watching the show the entire time. How did you manage to fling syrup behind the tv from your chair?"

…

"Without us noticing." Yang added angrily.

"Uhhhhhh"

"That's a little impressive." Pyrrha said, looking from Nora's seat to the tv.

Ren sighed and went to grab his "Nora Rag" that he used to clean up Nora's routine messes.

"Nora, you can keep your pancakes… but I'm taking your syrup privileges away." Ren said as he started to clean the cables.

Nora put up a fuss but eventually the bottle was wrestled away. After an annoying process of cleaning all the cables and replugging them in, Jaune finally got the episode to play.

" Head noob in charge" appeared on the screen accompanied by the usual acoustic guitar intro.

"Whats a noob?" Pyrrha asked.

"Ruby." Yang said laughing.

"Shut up! I'm not a noob… anymore." Ruby said embarrassed.

"Pyrrha, a noob is someone who's new at a video game, and most of the time they're called an idiot and don't know how to play." Jaune explained before Ruby and Yang could argue.

"Like rookies." Ren mumbled.

"Ren why are you taking so many notes anyway? At first I thought it would be smart but so far the show is immature and pointless." Weiss asked.

"It's kinda funny." Ruby mumbled.

"Because if what the message said is true it's from ano-" Ren started to say.

"It's not." Weiss interrupted.

"Well, it's still interesting. Even if it is just hackers it might be important." Ren explained.

"So far all that your notes consist of is random junk that we don't understand." Weiss pointed out.

"Because it's from another universe." Ruby added.

"No, it's not." Weiss said angrily. "Fine, keep taking notes. It'll prove it's not from another universe. You find references we don't understand and I'll do some research to find it. Let me see what you have so far." Weiss said, holding her hand out.

Jaune hit play as Weiss started pouring over Ren's notes.

Church, Tucker, and Caboose are standing next to the tank, outside the base

Church: "Yeah I'll let you in on a little secret, I've uh… I've actually got a girl back home."

"Does that mean we might finally see a female character?" Pyrrha asked.

"Hopefully, so far it's only immature men." Weiss commented.

"Well, it looks like it's supposed to be a comedy." Jaune explained.

"Are you saying that women aren't funny?" Blake asked dryly, hiding a grin as Jaune began to sputter.

"He's saying men aren't Punny." Yang said, trying not to laugh. Ruby groaned and put her head in her hands.

"Yang, that wasn't even a good pun." Weiss scolded. "Can that even be considered a pun? It made absolutely no sense..at all."

"Hey I've been really stressed lately!" Yang defended.

"Stressed? With what?" Weiss asked. "Copying my homework at night?"

"I- what- ha ha nooo Weiss I would never." Yang chuckled nervously. Weiss glared at Yang as Ruby slowly looked away to hide her guilty face.

"Just hit play." Yang sighed, "Besides I don't need to copy your work. My work is good enough on its own. I was just checking my answers, look at it as a compliment."

Tucker: "Oh yeah? Girlfriend or wife?"

Church: "No, man, she's just my girlfriend, ya know? We were gonna get married, but I got shipped out, and… ah, you know how it works."

Tucker: "Oh, well, you gonna marry her when you get back?"

Caboose: "I'm not gonna get married. My dad always said 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?'"

Church: "Hey rookie… did you just call my girlfriend a cow?"

"With that way of thinking he definitely won't get married." Weiss commented, disgusted.

"He didn't call her anything?" Ruby said, confused.

"Ruby… nevermind." Yang said.

Tucker: "No, I think he called her a slut!"

Church: "I'll tell you what noob, I could sit out here and listen to you insult my girlfriend all day long, but as it turns out, I got a lot more important job for you to do."

Caboose: "Great."

"It's still so weird hearing dad's voice." Ruby commented.

"Speaking of that." Pyrrha said. "Has anyone else noticed how Caboose sounds familiar?"

"No, not particularly?" Blake said.

"Listen closely when he talks. I feel like I'm going crazy. I recognize his voice." Pyrrha said suddenly, self conscious. "Sorry."

Church: "See, we've got this General."

Tucker: "Right, the General guy."

Church: "… who likes to come by and make random inspections of bases. So what I'm gonna have you do, is I'm gonna have you go in the base, and stand right next to the flag at attention, just in case he decides to come by."

"Flag? I didn't see a flag, Ren! Did you see a flag?" Nora said, moving her face close to Ren's accusingly.

"No," Ren replied calmly.

Caboose: "When is he coming by?"

"I don't hear anything familiar?" Ruby commented.

"Blake? You are good with voices are you not?" Pyrrha asked.

"Yeah, I'm listening. I'll let you know if I hear anything." Blake promised.

Tucker: "We never know. Could be today, could be a week from now."

Caboose: "You want me to stand at attention for a week?"

Church: "You know, you don't sound very grateful. This is the most important job at the whole base. You're gonna be right there with the flag."

Caboose: "What's so important about the flag?"

Church: "Oh, come on, don't they teach you guys anything in training?"

Caboose: "They didn't tell us anything about a flag. Why is it so important?"

Church: "Because it's the flag, man, you know, it's the f… it's the flag, it's… Tucker, you tell him why the flag is so important."

Tucker: "Well, it's… it's complicated. Wuh… It's blue, we're blue"

"Are flags important in the atlas military?" Pyrrha asked.

"Kind of. Flags have sigils and most of the time they're for patriotic purposes, it's very important to not shame the flag or let an enemy mess with it. That goes for all kingdoms except I guess Vacuo, they aren't very formal." Weiss explained.

"They are patriotic though." Blake added.

Church: "It's just important, okay? Trust us. So when the general comes by, the first thing he's gonna want to do is inspect the flag."

"Hmm, maybe this Tex is the general." Ren wondered aloud.

"Who?" Jaune asked.

"A character shown in the intro." Ren explained.

Tucker: "Right."

Church: "So just go in there, you know, far away from us, and wait for him."

"Wow he's being really obvious." Yang commented.

"Why are they so mean to rookies?" Ruby complained. "People used to be mean to me for being new here and so young."

"I'm sorry Ruby, I still feel re-"

"Not just you Weiss, a bunch of the older students." Ruby said sadly.

"What? Why didn't you tell me about it?" Yang asked angrily.

"Or me? We're your team we-" Blake started.

"Well it wasn't that big of a deal, and- nevermind they stopped and it's not a problem anymore, I was shy and bumped into them. Can we just keep watching?" Ruby asked.

Jaune nodded and hit play.

Caboose turns and heads for the base, stops half way and turns around

Caboose: "Uh how will I know when I see him?"

Tucker: "There's only three of us out here, rookie. He's gonna be the guy that doesn't look like one of us."

Church: "Now get in there, and don't come out! (turns to Tucker) Man, that guy is dumber than you are."

Tucker: "You mean he's dumber than you are."

Church: "Wow, Tucker, that was a great come-back."

Caboose emerges from the base, with Church and Tucker in the distance

Caboose: "Uh, mister Church? Sir?"

Church: "Oh my God, WHAT!? Tucker, I swear, I'm gonna kill him!"

Caboose: "Sorry about calling your girl a slut…"

Church: "ROOKIE! SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP, YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY, GET IN THERE!"

Tucker: "(turns around) Uh-huh huh huh huh"

Church: "(turns around to face Tucker's back) Tucker, are you laughing at me?"

"He's really not as threatening as he thinks." Yang said.

Donut steps up behind Church

Donut: "Excuse me, sir, can I ask you a question?"

"Ohhh! Finally I've been waiting for some action." Yang said happily.

"So far they've just been standing around talking." Weiss commented.

Church: "Dear God in Heaven, rookie, if I turn around, and you are not inside, I… I can't be held responsible for what I'm gonna do to you!"

"Wait? Wouldn't Tucker be able to see him?" Nora asked Ren.

"I think Tucker is looking at the Tank." Ren answered. Nora smiled at his answer and sat back down.

Donut: "What did I do?"

Church: "One…"

Donut: "Aw, gimme a break."

Church: "TWO!"

Donut: "Fine."

Donut runs in the base with Caboose

Caboose: "Wow… you got here fast."

"Doesn't he know they're fighting the reds?" Ruby asked.

"I think he's just stupid, or being a rookie," Yang answered.

Donut: "Why is everyone so freakin' rude in this canyon."

Caboose: "I'm not sir, what can I do for you?"

Donut: "Finally, someone with a little respect around here."

Caboose: "Yes Sir! I assume you're here because of this… (turns toward the flag)"

"So? Caboose thinks Donut is the general? And Donut thinks Caboose is the store clerk?" Nora asked, confused.

"Yes Nora" Ren replied.

"Yay! Got it right!"

Donut: "Wait, is this all you have?"

Caboose: "Uh, yes sir, that's it!"

Donut: "Aw man, this figures. Shit. What about Elbow Grease?"

Caboose: "Uhhmmmm…"

Donut: "Headlight Fluid?"

Caboose: "No, all we have is this flag."

Donut: "Well, I can't go back empty handed… I guess I'll take that."

Yang chuckled.

"What?" Weiss asked. "It's not funny."

"Why are you so against this show?" Ruby asked.

"It looks terrible, it's poorly voice acted, and so far there's no point to it at all." Weiss said. "Not to mention hackers showed it to us."

"I have to agree with Weiss." Blake said. "But I think the dialogue is well written. It's comedic and each character sounds distinct, like a real conversation and not two characters talking simply to advance the plot."

"It's so cool! They're making a show in a video game! I wonder if we can do that! We can even do something like this in another game but better!" Ruby said happily.

"Isn't that plagiarism?" Jaune asked.

"Well, yeaaah but… it's from another universe so it doesn-" Ruby said.

"It's not from another universe so yes it is plagiarism" Weiss said.

"Defending the Hackers huh?" Yang teased. Weiss huffed and ignored her.

Caboose: "Sure… that makes sense. I guess."

Donut: "(leaving with the flag) Man, they're gonna give me so much shit for coming back with just this stupid flag."

Cut to Church and Tucker out by the tank

Church: "Well, enough gabbing out of us, let's take this bad boy out for a spin. Go ahead and hop in, Tucker."

"Ohhhooo." Ruby mumbled leaning forward in excitement.

Tucker: "Me? I can't drive that thing."

Church: "You're telling me you're not Armor Certified?"

Tucker: "I ca- I don't even know how to use the fucking sniper rifle. Don't you know how to drive that?"

Church: "No! Holy Crap! WHO IS RUNNING THIS ARMY!?"

"So Church isn't armor certified either," Weiss commented. "He asks a good question."

Caboose: "(emerging from the base) Hey! Just wanted to let you know, the General stopped by, and picked up the flag!"

Church: "Yeah. Okay. Whatever moron! Why would they give us a tank, if nobody here knows how to drive the damn thing?… wait a second… what did he just say"

The screen turned black.

"So that's the end of it, next one? When do you guys wanna stop?" Jaune asked.

"It is kind of late, but we don't have any classes tomorrow." Yang said. "Can we stay here?"

"Yeah! Sleepover in JNPR's room!" Ruby yelled.

"What? There's barely any room?" Weiss pointed out.

"I don't mind sharing a bed." Yang said, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

"No." Weiss said bluntly. Blake shook her head in agreement.

Yang nodded, "Yeah I don't want to either." she laughed.

"Well, I'm willing to stay up and watch the show if all of you are." Pyrrha said.

"You like the show that much?" Jaune asked.

"No, I like the company and this is the least crazy thing we have done in… ever." Pyrrha shrugged.

"That makes sense. So wanna stay here?" Jaune asked team RWBY. They looked at each other and had a silent conversation before agreeing.

"Ok next episode here we go."