NEW AN: Rereading my older version of this chapter and ugh, why did I make Yang/Jaune racist? No idea what was wrong with me, I thought of a funny faunus joke and wanted to put it in there I guess. But little highschool sophomore me didn't recognize that in the world of RWBY the joke was literally a racist joke. Welp, it's all gone now because it's especially OOC. Maybe college just turned me into a sissy liberal snowflake but yeah it doesn't make sense for Jaune to tell a Faunus cannibalism joke. Even if it was Sun who told him, very gross implications.

Definitely going to reuse the joke in a future fic of mine though if I ever get to it. Makes a lot more sense for Cardin to say it.

Cover Art: Cruz7808

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S1E6: 1.21 Giga-Whats?

"1.21 Giga-Whats?" Appeared on the screen with the theme.

"1.21 giga whats? Is that a reference or something." Ruby asked.

"Yeah, Giga watts, it's a measure of uh… uh, electricity!" Jaune said after some thought.

Nora nodded, "Yeah some guy in Atlas named Arthur came up with it! Ren made me read up on electricity when I discovered my semblance."

Cut to Church running up to Donut, weapon drawn

Church: "Freeze!"

Donut: "Hey, why the hell are you shooting at me? You coulda hit me, dick!"

Church: "Can it. Don't try to play stupid with me, Sarge I know who ya are We've been spying on you for three weeks now."

Donut: "I just got here two hours ago. And I'm not a Sergeant, I'm a Private."

Church: "Wait a minute you're not the Sergeant!"

"Duh" Yang commented

Donut: "Yeah, that's what I just said."

Church: "Well then how the hell did you manage to steal our flag?"

"Idiocy." Blake commented

Donut: "Steal? I have no idea what the hell you're talking about!"

Tucker emerges between them, through the transporter, his armor covered in black stuff

Tucker: "THREE!"

Ruby jumped from shock next to Yang who burst out laughing.

"I was surprised, not scared!" She yelled.

Yang couldn't stop laughing and Ruby's attempts to hit her with a pillow did nothing to stop her.

Church: "JESUS!"

"Ugh, Yang? Is that another curse word?" Ruby asked. It took a second for Yang to calm down but eventually she did, she shook her head.

"Nope." Yang said as Ren jotted it down.

Donut: "HOLY SHIT! Who is this guy?"

Church: "What in the hell!? Tucker? Is that you?"

"Huh he's covered in soot." Ren noted.

"I'm assuming the teleporters aren't that reliable." Pyrrha said.

Tucker: "How did you get up here ahead of me?"

Donut: "And what's with that black shit on your armor?"

Tucker: "Hey. Freeze Sarge!"

Donut: "Would you stop calling me a Sergeant, I'm still just a Private."

Tucker: "The Sarge is still a Private? Oh. My. God. The teleporter sent me back in time."

"What?"

"Idiot"

"This show is ridiculous."

"Why?"

"Everybody shut up," Yang ordered. "Hit play I wanna see where this goes."

Cut to Grif and Simmons getting in the jeep, with upbeat polka- ish music playing

Grif: "Sorry Lopez, we need the jeep."

"What is that music?" Weiss asked. "It's annoying."

"It sounds really… festive" Pyrrha said.

Simmons: "I'll take gunner… (takes gunner)… let's roll. (they drive off) Don't worry Lopez, I'll bring her back in one piece."

"Ohhhhh! I'm finally gonna get to see this thing being used." Ruby said excitedly. "I already texted Coco about her minigun."

Grif: "How do you turn off the fucking radio in this car?"

Back to Tucker, Church, and Donut

Tucker: "Look, I know you don't know me, but you have to believe what I'm about to tell you. Some time in your future I get stationed here in Blood Gulch, and we meet. And this guy here, he gets promoted to Sargeant of the Red Army, and we spy on them. And they get this new jeep, and I'm like 'There is no way you can pick up chicks in a tank!'"

Church: "Tucker? What the fuck are you babbling about?"

Tucker: "I know all this sounds crazy, but he eventually becomes a Sergeant, and then one day we get a tank, and he comes and steals a flag while we're distracted."

Donut: "Is this guy a retard?"

"Wow." Weiss raised her eyebrows.

"Wasn't expecting that." Blake agreed.

"That was a little offensive." Pyrrha nodded.

"Gamers." Yang shook her head. "I like offensive jokes but, meh. Poor taste, this show might be older though, before the word was recognized for what it was."

"And this could be from a different universe, but still." Jaune grimaced

Church: "(jeep's music gets progressively louder during this speech) Red? Shut up. Tucker? Listen to me. Ya haven't gone back in time, okay? This is the guy who stole the flag, he's just not the Sergeant. Turns out, he's just some dumb rookie, who happens to have the same color armor as him. He got in somehow, just g… for God's sakes, WHAT IS THAT MUSIC!?"

Warthog jumps over the hill barely missing Church

"Woah!" Yang and Ruby yelled.

Grif: "Woohoo!"

Tucker: "Holy shit!"

Church: "Son of a bitch! Run! Jesus! Run!"

Tucker: "The jeep followed me back in time!"

"Idiot," Weiss commented.

Grif hops out of the Warthog and starts firing at Church and Tucker as they run away. Simmons is yelling and firing at them. What he yells throughout Grif's and Donut's conversation is underneath it

Church: "Ow! Jes-! Ow! Jesus! Ow, ow!"

Grif: "What the hell is going on here?"

Donut: "You know what, I honestly have no idea what's going on. I think everyone in this canyon is absolutely insane."

"Agreed." Weiss and Pyrrha said.

Grif: "How did you get their flag?"

Donut: "I don't know, I just asked for it."

Grif: "Wait, that worked?"

Donut: "I guess. Is it not supposed to?"

Grif: "I don't know, we, we never even thought to try that. Just take the flag to the base, I'll explain there."

Donut: "Not until someone tells me what the fuck is goi-"

Grif: "There's no time to explain, rookie! Just take the flag, and go to base! I'll explain everything there."

Donut: "Fine… !"

Donut starts running through the Gulch

Grif: "Hungh, back to our base, dumbass!"

Donut: "Uh, I know, I just got turned around, that's all."

The entire time Donut and Grif were talking, Simmons was yelling this.

Simmons: "That's right! That's right, I got your ass! Get off your ass and run, you cock bites! Right now! Yeah, not so pretty when you gotta run are you! Yeah, that's right. Stay there. You know where your flag is? We're gonna get you! Come on! Don't be a wimp! Come on, blue! Come on, get out there! I've got a whole barrel of love to shoot you with! Come on! Get out now! Yeah, come on out! I know you like this! Come out where I can get you! Come on! Don't be a wimp! Come on, blue! Be tough, get out there!"

Cut to Caboose looking at Church and Tucker through the sniper rifle

Caboose: "Oh man, that's not good. (pans the rifle to the jeep) Oh my God that jeep has a really big gun."

Caboose puts down the sniper rifle

"Yeah it does." Ruby said, drooling.

Caboose: "Stay here… Tank… Stay here… Tank… Ah, screw it. (runs off to the tank)"

Cut to Church and Tucker behind the rock. Simmons is still firing and yelling at them. What he says is below Church's line .

Church: "Well, we'll just wait here. That thing's gotta run outta bullets some time…"

Simmons: "Yeah, get going, take that! I know you like that there, come out! Come here! Poke your head up! Come on blue! Get your head out there"

The scene faded to black.

"Ohh I wonder what the ammo capacity is on that thing, that would be a great weapon against Grimm! Fast and easy to drive. Wow." Ruby listed off giddily.

"Also very exposed." Ren pointed out.

"Uh next episode?" Jaune asked.

"No, first bathroom break." Weiss said getting up.