This was the moment. This was HIS moment. The Lady and the potato were just coming up the elevator. Now... Wheatley could've just shut down the elevator and let The Lady starve or something, but that would be seriously anticlimactic. Also, he did all this special preparing, and it would be sad to let it all be in vain. Even if she somehow managed to defeat him, there was no way she would get past his secret weapon. Everything was in place, The Lady and the potato, Wheatley's Death Lair™, and those two testing robots curbing his desire to test. There was no possible way he could lose.
As Wheatley was monologuing to himself, Chell and PotatOS had just came up into his lair. Chell had a determined expression with her furrowed eyebrows, while PotatOS was plugged into the replacement core receptacle.
"Well, well, well. Welcome to MY LAIR!", Wheatley boomed as he turned on a deep voice filter. "Lemme just flag something up: According to the control panel light up there, the entire building's going to self-destruct in about six minutes. Pretty sure it's a problem with the light. I think the lights on the blink. But just in case it isn't, I actually am going to have to kill you. As discussed earlier."
"So, let's call that, three minutes, and then a minute break, which should leave a leisurely two minutes to figure out how to shut down whatever's starting all these fires. So anyway, that's the itinerary", Wheatley continued. "Also, I took the liberty of watching the tapes of you killing her, and I'm not going to make the same mistakes. Four-part plan is this:"
Uzi smirked a bit. 'It seems he did learn from other people's mistakes', she thought. Even if he was using that to murder someone.
"One: No portal surfaces."
"Two: Start the neurotoxin immediately."
"Three: Bomb-proof shields for me."
"Leading directly into number Four: Bombs. For throwing at you."
Chell's face lit up after hearing that, and quickly ran over to the convenient pipe full of conversion gel.
"Where are you going? Don't run! Don't run! I'll tell you why you shouldn't run: The harder you breathe, the more neurotoxin you'll inhale. It's bloody clever, this stuff. Seriously, it's devilish." Wheatley desperately explained.
But Chell wasn't listening as the mechanical whirr of the bomb cannons filled her ears. Followed by the pipe shattering and the gel inside splattering onto, quite literally, every surface in the room.
"No! Don't! No! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!", Wheatley screamed as he used the bomb shields to not get covered in gel. "Ha... That sounded real. No! That was actually an impression of you. Actually. Because you just fell into my trap. My brilliant trap. Just then. I wanted you to trick me into bursting that pipe. You didn't trick me. Seemingly trick me. Gives you false hope. Leads to overconfidence. And that leads to mistakes. Fatal mistakes. It's all part of my plan."
Chell than ran around and placed a portal on one of the airborne platforms as Wheatley continued monologuing.
Uzi paused the memory and leaned toward the screen to get a better look at the orange hole on the wall. N perched his hands onto Wheatley's top handle to do the same. What they were looking at was an orange hole that clung onto the surface it was shot onto. What was seen through the orange hole was... another part of the facility?
"What- What're we looking at?" Wheatley asked as he turned to the puzzled faces of his drone friends.
"Is that... wormhole technology?", Uzi asked, it was difficult to see exactly, but she could see well enough to see that it was a portal. Not even the smartest drones in her class could crack wormhole technology. She was just fine toiling away at her offensive weaponry.
"Oh... Yeah! That's the Aperture Science Quantu- Quan- Quantum Tunne-", Wheatley stumbled on the pronunciation of the device before sighing. "The Portal Gun. Ya just pop a portal on a place, and then pop a portal on another place, and boom! you have a portal... loop... thing."
It was at this moment N looked to the side. It might have been him being oil-delirious, but he swore he saw V hanging out behind him. If she was here, she might've made some sort of clever comment about using the Portal Gun to kill Workers or something. He was really starting to miss her... The Space Core and Uzi were fun to talk to sure, but V really brought something special to the conversation.
Uzi hummed in acknowledgment to Wheatley's explanation as she narrowed her eyes and turned back to the screen.
"Remember when I first told you how to find that little portal thing you love so much? Thought you'd die on the way, if I'm honest. All the others did", the large core admitted. "You didn't think you were the first, did you? Hahaha. No. Fifth. No, I lie: Sixth. Perhaps it's best to leave it to your imagination what happened to the other five..."
"You know what? I think we're well past the point of tasteful restraint. So I'll tell you: they all died. Horrifically. Trying to get that portal device that you're gripping in your meaty little fingers there."
Chell briefly halted as she heard what Wheatley said, but merely gripped her Portal Gun tighter as she continued to dash around.
Wheatley then locked onto her and shot a bomb her way. What he didn't expect was for her to pop a portal directly under her to escape... Then he realized why.
"AH!", Wheatley screamed as a large explosion was heard and Wheatley was knocked into Safe Mode. Meaning, he could still hear the outside, he just couldn't do anything about it.
Uzi rolled her eyes, a little disappointed he couldn't see what The Lady was doing. Sure, he wasn't very mobile, but he could have a least tried to block some of the portals.
Wheatley's memory was pitch darkness for a while with his optic shields closed, but to the left of Wheatley, some crashing noises could be heard before the familiar voice of everyone's favorite space-obsessed core could be heard getting louder and closer.
"OO. OO. OO. LADY. OO. LADY. OO. LET'S GO TO SPACE."
"SPACE GOING TO SPACE CAN'T WAIT."
"Space..."
"SPACE. TRIAL. PUTTIN' THE SYSTEM ON TRIAL. IN SPACE. SPACE SYSTEM. ON TRIAL. GUILTY. OF BEING IN SPACE! GOING TO SPACE JAIL!"
"DAD! I'M IN SPACE! I'M PROUD OF YOU, SON. DAD, ARE YOU SPACE? YES. NOW WE ARE A FA-"
N started chuckling at the Space Core's blissful ignorance of the danger of his situation.
"Is, hehe, is that", N stumbled through what he was saying as he was still laughing. "Is that the Space Core?"
"Yeah, mate", Wheatley replied. "He was the first core that The Lady attached to me. He was..."
Wheatley was about to go on a tirade about how annoying the Space Core was, but then he realized the Space Core was in the room with them and decided against it.
"He was fine", Wheatley said through figuratively gritted teeth.
"SPACE!", Space Core interjected.
In truth, Wheatley greatly appreciated the Space Core. He would gone insane up in space if it wasn't for the little core. Spacey might've never brought much to the table, but it was nice to have someone to talk to.
Wheatley suddenly felt a jolt of energy as some of his thoughts were invaded with ramblings about space. Luckily, he was able to ignore it as he had more oppressing matters at hand.
"Ahhh... Wha- What happened?", Wheatley dizzily asked as he awoke from Safe Mode. "What happened? What, what, what have you put onto me? What is that? Hold on... Ah, the bloody bombs are stuck on. Doesn't matter - I've reconfigured the shields!"
Hearing that, Chell continued to run around the lair. Dodging bombs while occasionally glancing at Wheatley to gain a better view of what can be done.
It appears the little moron had put the shields on top of him to block bombs. Wheatley had learned from last time... But in his apparent panic, he had for gotten to protect his underside. That was it! She could attack his exposed underbelly.
"We've had some times, haven't we? Like that time I jumped off my management rail, not sure if I'd die or not when I did, and all you had to do was catch me? Annnd you didn't. Did you? Ohhhh. You remember that? I remember that. I remember that all the time", Wheatley reminded.
"Managment rail?", Uzi asked.
"Just the way I got around the facility, nothing really to read into with that. I had to jump off to follow The Lady through more of the facility... I suppose in hindsight she tried her best to catch me", Wheatley answered.
"Still didn't though...", He muttered.
Uzi furrowed her brow at Wheatley's mumbling, but still hummed in acknowledgment and continued the memory.
"And we would have talked our way out of it. Oh! Except you forgot to tell me you'd murdered her. And that she needed you to live, so the only available vent for her rage would be good old crushable Wheatley. Yeah. Little details I remember. Easy little tidbits you could have used to save me from getting crushed if you'd cared, which you didn't, obviously. And still don't", Wheatley yelled to Chell, still furious.
Ohh... That one jabbed deep, because he was right. Chell should have told Wheatley she killed GLaDOS. The only reason she never talked was to never give Her the satisfaction of hearing her speak, but she was still dead. Even though she was trying to kill him, she really hoped things could've been different. But they weren't. He was trying to kill her, and she needed to stop him.
She ended that train of thought with a scowl as she placed a portal beneath Wheatley and her.
"Am I being too vague? I despise you. I loathe you. You arrogant, smugly quiet, awful jumpsuited monster of a woma-", Wheatley was cut off as his optic turned to pinprick with the explosion beneath him, causing him to fall into safe mode once more.
More horrific crashing noises came from behind Wheatley this time before a voice unknown to Uzi and N came from behind him, but Wheatley knew exactly who it was.
"I don't want to scare you, but I'm an Adventure Sphere. Designed for danger. So, why don't you go ahead and have yourself a little lady break, and I'll just take it from here."
"Here, stand behind me. Yeah, just like that. Just like you're doing. Things are about to get real messy."
"Going for it yourself, huh? All right, angel. I'll do what I can to cover you."
"Doesn't bother me. I gotta say, the view's mighty nice from right here."
"Man, that clock is moving fast. And you are beautiful. Always time to compliment a pretty lady. All right, back to wo-"
Uzi could immediately tell that she was glad this core didn't fall onto this planet. Sure, Wheatley and the Space Core never stopped talking, but at least they never flirted with her. (Apart from Wheatley occasionally calling her luv, but that was likely because he was British). Sometimes she left the spire just to be away from them. She probably would've left this core out in the snow (moral obligations be damned).
N was also slightly uncomfortable with this new core. He admired his ambitious attitude, but he felt as if he would be incredible embarrassed if he constantly had to hear someone constantly flirt with his crush and his best friend. Speaking of his crush, V probably would've actually tried to kill him instead of just threatening him.
"Y'know, he was actually in space too", Wheatley piped up.
"Really?", Uzi asked in a deadpan tone, not really wanting an answer.
"Yeah, he was the first one, so he didn't get caught in my gravitational pull", Wheatley replied. "Every once in a while, I would see a flash of green in the distance, or- or wake up hearing something about an adventure or some insult. He gave himself a really forgettable name too like... Randy, or Ryan. Something like that."
Believe it or not, this was not Wheatley's first encounter with Rick the Adventure Core. Once, back in Aperture Science, they watched over the humans together, along with the two other corrupted cores. Until the Space Core got pulled for being corrupted and accidentally killing a few test subjects while rambling about space. No one really cared as the Space Core was... well... annoying. What could they do anyway? The scientists were constantly showing off their power to the tiny robots. Knowing they'll be sent to the scrap if they defect. The Fact Core was next, he merely thought of himself above the scientists, and even tried to test a few subjects by himself. However, the test subjects never figured out what to do considering the fact Core just spewed useless facts to them, so he needed to be scrapped. That left Rick. Wheatley honestly expected Rick to be out after the Space Core, because they scientists could never find him. He was always off on his "adventures", constantly bragging to Wheatley about what he allegedly did that day. One day, he just never showed up, and Wheatley was left wondering what happened to him. Then one day he woke up and everyone was dead. He had no idea why. He just shut down one day, and then when he woke up, everyone was dead, and vegetation was leaking into the Extended Relaxation Chamber.
After hearing Wheatley's little explanation, Uzi continued the memory.
Wheatley ruptured from his safe mode, obviously furious with this new development. A new voice perked up from the bowels of his subconscious, spilling in its thoughts about the current situation, spewing insults and adventure-related things. Luckily, with Wheatley's rage he managed to weed out which thoughts were his and which were Rick's.
Soon after he awoke, he reconfigured the shields to face straight towards Chell, nullifying all the ways she exploded him before.
Chell immediately knew what she had to do, but it was kind of difficult with Wheatley's shields blocking her Portal Gun. All while Wheatley was whittling down her spirit with his monologuing.
"Enough! I told you not to put these cores on me. But you don't listen, do you? Quiet. All the time. Quietly not listening to a word I say. Judging me. Silently. The worst kind", Wheatley angrily spat while simultaneously spitting bombs at Chell. "All I wanted to do was make everything better for me! All you had to do was solve a couple hundred simple tests for a few years. And you couldn't even let me have that, could you?"
"SPACE!", The Space Core screamed from on top of Wheatley.
"Nobody is going to space, mate!", Wheatley snapped back.
"That was mean", N said to Wheatley like a disappointed parent. Out of everything Wheatley did, that was just crossing the line.
"Aw, come on, mate. You can't- don't- I didn't... sorry, Space Core", Wheatley stuttered before caving into to N's disappointed face.
"Do you two mind? I'm trying to listen", Uzi interjected. "I'm actually kind of invested in this. I really wanna see how she wins."
"And another thing! You never caught me. I told you I could die falling off that rail. And you didn't catch me. You didn't even try. Oh, it's all becoming clear to me now. Find some dupe to break you out of cryosleep. Give him a sob story about escaping to the surface. Squeeze him for information on where to find a portal gun", Wheatley said, misery and desperation leaking from his voice. "Then, when he's no more use to you, he has a little accident. Doesn't he? 'Falls' off his management rail. Doesn't he?"
Chell felt a lump in her throat as she listened to Wheatley rattle on. 'He genuinely believes himself!' She thought. she was actually starting to feel a bit bad for him. She wished she could tell him that wasn't true, but when she opened her mouth, nothing came out other than a hoarse gasp.
It was during her thinking when she finally got a portal on a wall behind Wheatley's imposing figure, just as Wheatley revved up the bomb throwing device.
"You're in this together, aren't you? You've been playing me the whole time! Both of you! First you make me think you're brain damaged! Then you convince me you're sworn enem-", Wheatley spewed before being exploded for one. Final. Time.
Chell was hesitant to put the final core on Wheatley, while staring at him hanging from the ceiling, however a quick glance at the Death Timer™ caused her to look for the last core.
Meanwhile, Wheatley was looking at the inside of his optic shields, but he heard some crashing noises behind him followed by a squelching noise. Kind of like someone was walking through mud or honey.
He then heard his least favorite co-worker babbling on about useless things. Almost causing him to jolt back awake from sheer hatred.
"Cellular phones will not give you cancer. Only hepatitis."
"The Adventure Sphere is a blowhard and a coward."
"89% of magic tricks are not magic. Technically, they are sorcery."
"Rats cannot throw up."
"The Sun is 330,330 times larger than Earth.
Uzi chuckled to herself as she put a hand to her forehead, "...None of those were true."
"Yea, he was... certainly... functionaaa... nope, couldn't do it. He was terrible. I hated him", Wheatley said.
"Why do you hate him so much?", N asked. "He seems pretty nice."
Wheatley stared incredulously at N, "Are you kidding me, mate. He was easily the worst of the cores. Him an' his facts. Always blabbin' on and on. And- and as she just said, none of them were even true!"
"He told me if I ever fell off my management rail. I would die! Seems that was a bloody lie", Wheatley added, getting angry.
Uzi put her hand on Wheatley top handle, "Wheatley, calm down. He's probably dead remember. If She really is as merciless as... well, V... I doubt she would've let him live."
Wheatley quickly calmed down, "yea, yea, you're probably right. L- let's keep watching eh'. It's almost over anyway."
Wheatley nearly digitally gagged when he remembered the end of this memory.
"William Shakespeare did not exist. His plays were masterminded in 1589 by Francis Bacon, who used a Ouija board to ensla-
When Wheatley jolted awake, the first thing he noticed was that he had significantly less control over the facility than he did before. The next thing however, was the annoying little potato currently exposed from the floor.
"Ohhh. I see. hehehehe", Wheatley chuckled.
Uzi raised a digital eyebrow at Wheatley's casualness of his scenario.
"Manual core replacement required", The Announcer boomed. "Substitute Core: Are you ready to start?"
"Yes! Come on!", PotatOS shouted desperately.
"Corrupted Core: are you ready to start?", The Announcer asked.
"What do you think?", Wheatley asked, rhetorically.
"Interpreting vague answer as YES", The Announcer concluded.
"No! No! NONONO!", Wheatley shouted, just as desperate as PotatOS a few minutes ago. "Didn't pick up on my sarcasm..."
"Stalemate detected", The Announcer said before it realized Wheatley's lair (along with most of Aperture) was currently on fire. "Fire detected in the Stalemate Resolution Annex. Extinguishing."
"Ah. That just cleans right off, does it? Well, that would have been good to know. A little earlier", Wheatley muttered, disappointed.
After The Announcer announced the stalemate was detected, a room revealed itself behind Chell. Wheatley and PotatOS were locked in a heated arguement about Chell's next move.
"Go press the button! Go press it!", PotatOS shouted.
"No!", Wheatley yelled in response.
"We're so close! Go press the button!"
"No!"
"Press it! Press the button!"
"Do not press that button!"
"Press it!"
This was the moment. This was HER moment. The moment she would finally earn her freedom. No maniacal robot, cube, or turret could get in her way now. The button was just in her reach. Just as Chell was about to portal into the room. She hesitated, thinking about all of the things Wheatley said. Most of the things were mad ramblings he made up on the spot... but some of the things he said were right. Turning around, she stared at Wheatley, not just seeing an evil robot, bent on her extermination, but also seeing someone who just needed another chance. He needed this... but he went too far. She really wanted things to be different. Wheatley her only companion in this scientific hellscape. She wondered what would've happened if she escaped with him. They would've left the factory, seen the world, and been safe from everything within Aperture... but that didn't happen. This was how it was going to go down. Chell stepped forward and stared at Wheatley, eyes interlocking with an optic. She jumped backwards into a portal, but before she could even reach for the button. Orange light invaded her eyesight, air pushing against her skin as she was blown backwards.
"PART FIVE! BOOBYTRAP THE STALEMATE BUTTON!", Wheatley yelled as his secret weapon had finally been revealed.
Uzi recoiled in shock as Chell was blown out of the room. She had to admit, that was pretty clever. The little core had actually made a plan that had blown up in someone else's face. She was almost rooting for The Lady. Now, don't get her wrong, she still does hate humans, but this one's determination was very hard to hate. It turns out Wheatley was right; she was beginning to see herself in Her. It was exciting to see how she would defeat the menacing core. Only one way to find out.
"What, are you still alive? You are joking. You have got be kidding me. Well, I'm still in control. AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO FIX THIS PLACE", Wheatley screamed in desperation at the human currently blasted across the floor, still twitching and moving. "You had to play bloody cat and mouse, didn't you? While people were trying to work. Yes, well, now we're all going to pay the price. BECAUSE WE'RE ALL GOING TO BLOODY DIE."
Wheatley then noticed the human staring straight through a hole in the busted ceiling. Right up at... the moon?
"Oh, no way!", Uzi yelled, she finally figured out how Wheatley ended up in space.
"Oh, brilliant, yeah. Take one last look at your precious human moon. Because it cannot he-", Wheatley was cut off as he felt a strong gust of wind against his chassis.
The next moments all happened in a blur, torn from the body, Wheatley was facing the dark unforgiving darkness of space, seeing a flash of green for a fraction of a second. Then, he felt a mass of flesh hit his side as the human latched onto him, forcing him to stare at her clenched teeth and squinting eyes. optic darting around as he felt the wire attaching him to the facility growing thinner and thinner.
"AHHHHHHH!", Wheatley yelled as all sound but himself faded away. "SPACE!? Let go! we're in space!"
Suddenly, the Space Core flew from the GLaDOS body and crashed into Wheatley, almost causing the human to lose her grip. "Space? SPACE!"
"Let go! Let go! I'm still connected. I can pull myself in. I can still fix this!", Wheatley protested.
"I already fixed it!", A voice called from within Aperture as PotatOS truly turned back into GLaDOS. "And you are NOT coming back!"
"Oh no. Change of plans. Hold onto me. Tighter!", Wheatley yelled as a metal claw approached his chassis.
Suddenly, the metal claw brushed Wheatley's exterior, snapping the wire, and sending him blasting off into space. The last thing he saw was the metal claw latching onto The Lady's hand and pulling her back into Aperture.
"GRABMEGRABMEGRABME", Wheatley last words reached no ears as he flew off into orbit, carrying a yellow eyed friend along with him.
INITIATING PERSONALITY CORE QUICK SAVE PROTOCOL. PROCEED WITH ANALYSIS.
The two drones stood, eyes hollowed rings, as they saw nothing but their own reflections in the monitor. Nothing but the air in the facility creating ambient noises. Looking past, all of his memory icons were space, just space, and a lot of it. Until he crashed onto Copper-Nine that is.
Wheatley was the first one to break the silence, looking up at the two drones. "So, um... what do you think?"
"Well... where to start?", N asked, rhetorically.
"How about the whole, 'plan' you tried to come up with", Uzi said whilst rubbing her forehead.
"Oh yea! That was pretty cool!", N said, and wasn't lying to save Wheatley's feelings either.
"Really, you think so?", Wheatley asked in disbelief.
"Hang on, Wheatley", Uzi said, as she had some comments to say about Wheatley's performance. "I'll admit that was pretty funny, especially the part where the human almost flew into space... but you made some stupid decisions in that as well."
"Alright, watcha got?", Wheatley asked, he was ready to hear Uzi's input. For as little time as he knew her, Wheatley looked up to the young drone.
"Well, firstly, I have to admit. I guess it was a smart idea to look at the tapes of Her death to stop ending up the same as her", Uzi commended.
"Thanks! They were really annoying to hear her rambling through most of it though", Wheatley said.
Uzi acknowledged Wheatley's hypocrisy with a second of hesitant thought before continuing, "Yeah... Anyway, another thing is that you didn't use the shields very well, why not just cover yourselves with them?"
"Well... there weren't really that many of them", Wheatley said.
Uzi thought about that for a few minutes "Ok... still, you could've just let the deadly neurotoxin take her out instead of killing her yourself. I know that seems odd coming from me, but it was still the best thing to do."
Wheatley looked to the left for a bit. 'Oh... that's right. I could've done that', he thought.
"Yea... yeah I suppose you're right", Wheatley agreed.
"Although... I do still need to commend you once more for sticking through all that... emotional... stuff", Uzi added. "You sounded seriously hurt, and it surely can't be easy fighting with that."
"Oh, yea... that. W- well that was... Yea, I guess I was difficult to defend myself when I was shouting like that, eh?", Wheatley concurred.
"Yeah, what was all that about?", N asked. "The only time I remember you acting like that was when you exploded at V for calling you a moron."
"Oh, well it was mostly Her body. It kind of... amplified all of my bad qualities... If that makes any sense", Wheatley explained.
"Oh...", Uzi said, as it clicked for her. "That must have been why you went evil."
"That... That makes sense", Wheatley said. "So... So it wasn't my fault."
Uzi wanted to tell Wheatley that it was indeed his fault, but she just really didn't want to break her little core friend's spirits. "Not entirely anyway."
N was squeaking with enjoyment. He never really had a emotional revelation, but seeing his friends have one made him happy all the same.
"Thank you, Uzi", Wheatley said. "For that... I really needed to hear that."
Uzi let out a light chuckle. This core was really starting to grow on her.
"You're welcome, Wheatley."