Chapter Fifteen
No one spoke for a long time. Lida buried her face in her hands and stared at the ground. It was humiliating hearing the entire story relayed from Maria to all of her family.
After what felt like a long time, but was really only a couple minutes, Liesl moved over and gave Lida a warm, older sister style hug. "I've known since before you were born, Lida. I guessed, but I never wanted Mother and Father to tell me for certain. I didn't want it to change how I felt about you and Mother, but guess what?"
Liesl used her finger to lift Lida's tear stained face so that she could look into her eyes. "It didn't change a thing, knowing for sure. I love you so much and we are going to get you through this, all of us."
Replies of collective "yes" and "of course" echoed around the bakery. Liesl gave Lida a kiss on the cheek, the moved so Mathias could do the same thing. Next came Friedrich and Rosamaria, then Louisa and Sam…it continued all the way down to Julia, whose hug was the least fierce and sincere of all of them. Julia had seen the effects of Lida's angry words to Georg and Maria, she didn't appreciate the hurt she had seen in her father's eyes or the worry etched on her mother's face.
"Thank you," Lida murmured. "I'm sorry, I just…I can't believe this is happening. Now I see it, all these years I felt it, but now I see it. I see how different I am from all of you. All of you are…so open, so loving, but me…I can't just accept any of this. I can't just go back like it never happened. For me, everything has changed. Everything I know has changed."
"It hasn't," Brigitta assured her. "You still have the same family you had before. We know better than anyone that blood doesn't always make a family. We don't share blood with Mother, but we love her as much as the mother that gave us life."
"Brigitta's right," Friedrich added. "It's a shock, we're all shocked and I can't imagine how you feel, but we love you, all of us love you. We're your brothers and sisters, that won't change, not ever."
The words felt meaningless to Lida. The more she thought about this, the more connected she felt to William. It all made sense now, the instant "attraction". It wasn't that at all, it was her soul seeking the connection of someone that was truly a part of her. She felt a bond with Maria, Cathy, Julia, but that was the limit of it now.
"I need time," Lida replied after a few minutes. "To get this into my head. I just need time to think and get my head…I feel terrible, but…"
"But you feel like you aren't part of this family," Louisa finished. "Well, all I can say is, when you do, we'll be here."
"Are you going to come home with us?" Cathy asked. "Even if you need to be alone, you should try to talk with Papa."
"No," Lida replied. "I'll find a place."
"You can stay with me," Louisa offered. "Help with the little ones for now. Keep your mind on that until you feel more settled."
"That'll be a help actually," Sam said looking at baby Margaret in Louisa's arms. "I'll be out of town for a couple days, she'll need the hand."
Lida looked down, it was her only choice, home was not an option.
The family meeting soon dispersed, each of the children having their own thoughts and feelings about the revelation. Lida went home with Louisa and kept working her hours in the bakery. Rosamaria made sure she didn't treat Lida any differently than before. Friedrich had been torn apart by the news his mother had been violated. He felt the anger acutely. Kurt and Julia were worried about their parents. They were masking well, but Kurt, who saw them every day, could see the strain and the sadness there.
Lida refused to speak to Georg and Maria. She spoke lightly with Max when he came to work, but had no words for her parents at all. Her anger at Georg extended to Maria the more she thought about things. Maria had a voice too, even if Georg wanted to keep his control over her with his "I'm your father and you'll obey me" attitude, Maria didn't have to do that, her obedience was her choice, even if she claimed Lida's conception wasn't.
On Saturday morning, Louisa was washing the breakfast dishes while Lida played with the kids in the living room. The sink blubbed, jumped, and spurted black water up at Louisa. "Ugh! Oh, I have had it with this sink! Sam was supposed to put a new pipe in there last week before he left," she griped to herself.
Louisa went to get rags and mop to clean up, then grabbed the second extension of phone to call Georg for help. She didn't think about the potential for conflict with Lida, all she thought at the moment was that Georg would get the job done faster and probably more accurately than Sam.
"Father," Louisa greeted when Georg was on the line. "I need your help. The sink just erupted sludge all over me and I think Sammy is coming down with a cough, he's been a little more clingy than usual. I really could use your help with the plumbing thing."
"All right, Louisa," Georg agreed. "And I'll bring some brandy for the cough, a little warm cup of tea. If it doesn't stop the cough, at least he'll sleep. Worked for you."
Louisa laughed, "What do you have for colic?"
"Mother likes fennel seed for that. I'll see what we have. If nothing, I'll stop at the shop before I come. I'll see you in an hour."
Maria smiled. This would be the first time Georg left the house since the "revelation." This would be good for him. He was always the solver, the fixer; Georg could go into a room and set everyone at ease, until that night. For him to go to Louisa's and help her out with the sink, with the kids, that was his niche, he would feel more himself.
Maria had heard from Liesl and Julia that Lida was staying with Louisa, perhaps that was what they needed, to see each other in neutral territory, and clear the air. This would be good, this was a step in the right direction.
Louisa returned to the living room and felt she best warn her sister that Georg was going to come over. "Father is going to come by and fix the sink. He'll be here in about an hour."
Lida looked up from where she was sitting with the baby on her lap. "I'm not speaking to the Captain."
"I'm not telling you that you have to speak to him, I'm telling you that he's coming over and I would prefer you two didn't argue in front of my children."
"How long is he going to be here?" Lida asked.
"Not long, I don't know," Louisa replied. "Couple hours maybe, but if one of the boys wants to play or he can stop Maggie from fussing it might be longer."
Lida handed the tiny girl over to Louisa, 'I think I'll go for a walk then. There's something I've been meaning to do anyway, it's about time I did it. I'll be back before dark most likely."
Louisa wanted to ask Lida where she was going and to be more definitive with the time frame, but she bit it back. She was Lida's sister not her parent. The best way, Louisa felt for her to handle this was to give Lida space and at least keep Lida in contact with as much family as she would permit.
Louisa only nodded her understanding then went to try to clean up as much of the mess in the kitchen as she could before Georg got there and had to lie down on the linoleum floor.
Maggie was crying at the top of her little voice when Georg arrived at the house and Sammy was clinging to Louisa's leg. Only the oldest of her three was content, reading his comic books. "Oh goodness," Georg said gently as he reached out for the baby. "I know…it's a sad world, I know. Pop-Pop has something that will fix your tummy. Yes, I promise, I do."
Louisa looked at her father with gratitude. "In the grocery bag is bunch of fennel seed. Brew a tea, put it in her bottle, then let her sip some before and after each feeding. Mother said if she won't take it, add some sugar."
Louisa laughed, "Mother and her spoonfuls of sugar…How long until it works?"
"Not long," Georg assured Louisa. "In the meantime," Georg shifted the small baby up onto his shoulder and started to rub her back. "Sometimes a strong hand will get in there, break up the gas bubbles." Maggie kept up her crying even in her grandfather's arms. "Then again, sometimes that doesn't really work."
Across town, Lida nervously stood at the entrance to the park. She had telephoned Will from the corner store as soon as she left Louisa's asking to meet him at the park for a talk. Max had graciously delivered the news to William the day after everything was revealed but Lida hadn't spoken with him since that night four days ago.
Will had the same look Georg had right before the news broke, he looked like he wanted to be sick. "Hey," Lida greeted looking down at her shoes.
"Hey," Will replied. He wanted to hug her, to tell her everything was going to be okay, but how in the world could he ever claim that? Lida's world was what had been destroyed, his was more or less as it always had been. He deduced from his mother that his father was not the nicest person, so learning he had fathered a child through sexual assault was a surprise, not a shock. Lida had grown up thinking her parents were Georg and Maria von Trapp, a loving, May-December refugee couple that were probably the only people he knew married over 20 years that still held hands in public. Now, she learned she was the product of a vicious assault by a man that was, by all accounts, a totally rotten human being. William's heart broke for the pain he saw on Lida's face.
"Look, Lida," William began. "I am so sorry. I had no idea, I really didn't. I guess I should have suspected the way your mom reacted to my coming up to the house and the way your dad kind of lost it at dinner that something was wrong, but. I'm so sorry."
"It's not your fault,"Lida replied. "It's their fault, the Captain and my mother. They were the ones that lied, that covered everything up, not you. You didn't know better."
"The Captain?" Will asked.
"Yes," Lida replied. "He's not my father, that's pretty clear. I was maybe just his way of getting to my mother, I don't know. A convenient way to get the 23 year old postulant to marry him at 48 years old."
"That's not true and you know it," Will quickly corrected. "Were we at the same dinner table? Your mother looked at your father, she glowed. When he looked at her, he stopped breathing just for a second, like all he could do…I'm sorry. I shouldn't be going on and on about love when you are, both of us are, trying to get over that."
Lida nodded slowly. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about, Will. I've felt closer to you these past few weeks than I've felt to anyone in my life, except maybe my sister Cathy. I don't want to lose that because we aren't going to date anymore. I want a big brother. I need a family."
"Lida, you have a family," Will corrected. "You have a lot more than I ever did, but I guess right now you're too blinded by anger to see that. I know you lost your identity, I can't imagine how that is, and I'll help you in any way I can, but please don't turn your back on what you've known your whole life."
"What I've known my whole life," Lida countered. "Was that I didn't fit in. I didn't fit into that family no matter how hard I tried. I was different and now I know why. I need to find out who I really am and I can't do that if I just act like it didn't happen."
Lida began to cry. She felt so lost and so alone in this. She hoped William would understand and take her part in this, but it felt like even he was against her learning about her true identity.
Will closed the distance between them and gave Lida a hug. It felt different, the heat and fire that had been there less than a week ago had gone. Will couldn't put a name to what took its place. "You will figure this out," Will assured Lida. "You're strong and smart and beautiful, you will figure this all out, just be careful, don't burn your bridges okay?"
Lida wiped the tears from her eyes and took a deep breath. "I really do want us to be able to be friends. I need time to sort this out and I can't do it with Mama and P…the Captain. I'm at Louisa's now but I can't do it there either. I don't know what to do or where to go."
"There's an apartment open in my building," Will offered. 'I can help you with the money until you get something that pays better than the bakery job, if you insist on doing this, which I wish you won't."
Lida didn't say anything else. It was nice to feel at least she would have something to do if she couldn't get her head on straight at Louisa's. She knew she'd have to talk to Maria soon enough, but Georg…she wasn't sure she even wanted to see him again, never mind talk to him. He had broken her trust, something that he had always sworn was one of the most important things you could place in anyone. She remembered him telling her, "If a person has broken your trust once, he will never hesitate to do it again…" Georg had taugh Lida to always be careful with the gift of her trust, perhaps he should have been careful what he wished for.
A/N: There you have it. The von Trapp family at its best and worst . Personally, I love Grandpa Georg, the wise old man…hopefully soon the entire family will reunite…even I don't know yet. Thanks for reading.