Disclaimer: I own Harry Potter... J.K! hehe see what i did there im so clever.
Falling, all he felt was falling. One second he's lying on the floor dying and now he's falling at immense speeds into darkness. He continues falling for what could have been for minutes or for seconds he couldn't tell, when he suddenly stops. Suspended there in the pitch black darkness the silence is so deafening he can feel the pressure of its weight in his ears, and then.. "Freak!" That word.. Harry hated that word. "Freak!" The Dursley's favoured word for their nephew. "Freak!" That awful word was echoing in the darkness Harry found himself in. Vernon, Petunia and Dudley's voices ring out in unison the dreaded word on repeat. "Freak!" the disembodied voices echo into the darkness. Then flashes of memory start to assault Harry's mind blurring from one to the next. Hot oil scorched his left forearm followed by a hot frying pan striking the back of head. The memory faded into Harry running at a full sprint away from Dudley and his gang into being thrown into his cupboard by his hair followed by a click sound of the lock on the outside trapping him in as he banged his fists on the door bawling. His uncle slamming the front door after a bad day at work in a huff, his beady eyes locking on to Harry's wide frightened blindingly green eyes brimming with tears "You boy, get over here!" He snapped. Harry walks over timidly as Vernon gets ready to whip him with his belt. His first day of school when his teacher called his name in attendance and he learned he wasn't just 'boy' or 'freak'. He's sitting in the back under the shade of a tree playing with a friendly grass snake named Bea he met while weeding the garden, a nice yet brief respite in his life when Dudley comes from behind and stomps on the snake snuffing out the life of his first friend. Next he's lying in his cupboard starving and thirsty unable to cry anymore tears as he imagined a nice family coming to take him away from the cycle of pain and torment that was his life. Family, What Harry wouldn't do for a family. He thought he was building his own chosen family, The Weasley's, Hermione, The DA, all of it was a lie and Harry was tired. He didn't want to see anymore of what he assumed was his life flashing before his eyes as he dies.
In rapid succession years of beatings and neglect flash in his mind, flashing faster and faster and just as Harry feels like his mind is about to burst it stops as he hears a rattling voice that seeps to his very bones chilling them. "Look closely young one, I will show you all that was done so you can finally understand." Something about the disembodied voice was powerful and authoritative yet also somehow reassuring. After seeing all the abuse he endured over his childhood he was in no mood to disobey any authority or question his betters so without a word Harry obeyed and started to pay attention. The silence of the abyss settled around him as he waited for what he was supposed to be paying seeing. With much less of an intrusive feeling memories entered his mind this time he was standing there looking at his younger self instead of looking through his own eyes. He could feel the presence of the bone chilling voice with him in the memory. "Get the mail, Dudley." Vernon said "Make the freak get it." Dudley piped back. "Go get the mail boy!" Vernon instructed. Harry watched as Dudley tried and failed to hit him with his Smelting stick as his younger self went to get the mail.
There on the Doormat the postcard from Marge, a bill, and there it was the piece of paper that changed his life forever, his Hogwarts letter. Only.. Something was amiss, Surrounding the letter was a faint and shimmering golden aura. Instead of being confused he internally somehow knew exactly what he was looking at, no doubt due to his mysterious abyss friend. There plastered all over his Hogwarts letter were compulsion spells, It didn't take a lot of mental math for Harry to know exactly what was up... Dumbledore... A few memories flashed quickly by Hagrid collecting Harry from the shack and their trip to Diagon Alley. As the memories flashed by they would oddly go in and out of focus at specific moments that the voice deemed necessary for harry to pay special attention to. Hagrid mentioning how evil Voldemort and Slytherins in general were, Hagrid grabbing the philosophers stone from the vault and from his new angle Harry saw Hagrid side eyeing his younger self and making sure he was watching. In Madam Malkin's he sees the familiar slicked back blonde hair of Draco Malfoy aged 11 getting fitted for his Hogwarts robes. "Well no one really knows until they get there do they, but I know I'll be in Slytherin..." Draco drawled but Harry stopped paying attention as soon as he saw the gleam in his younger eye knowing that as soon as Draco had said Slytherin it sealed their fate. How was Harry gonna make informed choices when all he knew at the time was that his parents were killed by a Slytherin and that all Slytherins were supposedly evil.
At Ollivander's after Harry received his wand and was walking out he noticed Ollivander sending a Patronus no doubt to inform Dumbledore that Harry was the new owner of Voldemort's twin wand. However before he catches any detail he sees Hagrid standing there holding up an owl cage with Hedwig inside. Harry strangled a sob as he remembered what fate had become of his best friend. With tears falling from his eyes Harry tried walking towards Hedwig and reaching out but found he was stuck unable to reach her. It wasn't fair, none of this was fair! Hedwig, his sweet girl.. She was more than a pet, she was family and they shared a bond that was now severed forever thanks to Vernon fucking Dursley. He looked into her beautiful yellow eyes as the memory started to fade he started trying to thrash his arms out in a futile attempt to reach her. "NO! Please no let me hold her, please!" He pleaded to no avail as the memory swirled away leaving him sobbing helplessly as the void shifted into the next memory.
It was bright and there were lots of people all over the place he looked around and saw he was in King's Cross station. With his mind still reeling he looked around to see his younger self. He didn't care, he knew what this would show him. The Weasley's we're gonna come around suspiciously in the perfect position to take him under their wing. He just had one goal and that was to lay his eyes on Hedwig again. Even if he couldn't reach out and touch her he needed to see her. Floating behind his younger self he watched as he prepared to run through the barrier. As he was looking at Hedwig from behind her head turned all the way around and she met his gaze. A choking noise escaped Harry's lips, she could see him even though he wasn't really there. As they stared at each other not saying anything out loud but saying a million things with their stares she let out a soft reassuring hoot as his younger self began to run a feather from her wing flew off and floated towards his outstretched hand. When the feather reached his hand the memory faded but the feather did not. It was beautiful, snow white with brown spots, it hummed with a familiar energy. as the tears fell out of his eyes he let out a soft "Thank you girl" filled with emotions. The feather started to shimmer away in a golden light and he tried desperately to grasp at it as it faded out of existence. Crying and overstimulated Harry was starting to visibly shake he couldn't do this anymore, please no more.
Trembling and feeling as if the weight of the world were on his shoulders Harry looked up to see he was in yet another memory. This time he was standing outside a train compartment on the Hogwarts express, looking in he saw his younger self all alone. Harry looked down the train to see Ron peering through every compartment obviously in search of what he could only guess was him. When Ron reached his compartment a triumphant smile flickered across his face. "Mind if I join you? Everywhere else is full." Harry looked to the surrounding compartments... they were empty. Merlin how naïve and desperate could he have been? latching on to the tiniest sliver of attention given with no questions asked and no guards raised. The memories sped up again he noted how they did not slow as Hermione came by with Neville looking for Trevor the toad. It did however slow when shortly after Malfoy and his cronies strolled up to the compartment. Time only slowed down just enough to hear "You'll soon find out that some wizarding families are much better than others, Potter. You don't want to go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there." He held out his hand which young Harry refused saying "I think I can tell who the wrong sort are for myself thanks." as the memories blurred and Harry yelled to the void "HAHAHA, yeah fuck you too! You're just messing with me at this point aren't you?!"
Harry felt himself slipping this really was all just too much. Memories started going by faster and faster. Harry, Ron, and Hermione stumbling upon the 3rd floor corridor only now harry could see the compulsions placed upon the door goading his younger self on to investigate further. Harry was in the hospital wing listening to his younger self beg not to go back to the Dursley's only to be shut down by professor Dumbledore. Then his summer being beaten and starved and locked in a bedroom. This was the tipping point, Harry couldn't take it anymore. As all the victims of the basilisk flashed through his head he grabbed a handful of messy black hair and started pulling at it, he wasn't processing anything as more and more flashed by. His mom's screams as he was influenced by the dementors, the basilisk fang digging into his arm, Vernon whipping him. it all started to blur mixing together in a hodge podge of pain and misery he couldn't escape from. Harry curled in on himself his brain was on the verge of exploding as he clenched all his muscles. As Harry cried out in pain he felt like he was viewing a million things at once and then it all stopped suddenly till he only saw, all of their faces, Hermione, Ron, Molly, the Dursley's, anyone who did him wrong or made his life hell were brought to the forefront of his mind then it was just the eternal blackness of the pit as he heard the voice say to him "Make them pay little master, make them all regret everything." and then Harry was shooting straight back up the way he came at blistering speed.
Up and up he went through the darkness still sobbing and still a mess of rage and pain. His thoughts were a jumbled and incoherent mess. He felt like he was everywhere all at once, living through every memory at the same time. He felt disconnected like he was watching himself in third person and someone else was being shot up into the dark expanse not him. He was screaming or was he crying or was he totally silent, he couldn't tell anymore it felt like nothing was real, it was all a lie. Up, up, up higher and higher he screamed at the top of his lungs, till suddenly with the biggest inhale of his life like he hadn't breathed air in days he shot straight up from lying down in a comfy bed. He was in a room he had never seen before. He looked around and spotted something which made his heart lurch. Standing before him was none other than Narcissa Malfoy and the bane of his existence Severus Snape. 'No, No, No. No!' Harry panicked as he started thrashing trying to escape only to be met with excruciating pain. He yelled out from the pain but he kept trying to crawl off the mattress only to be pinned down. He looked to see Snape aiming his wand at him which did nothing to help the situation. Narcissa had her hands held up in a surrender position with worry in her eyes and he could see her lips moving but he couldn't hear anything with his mind still in survival mode he only had one thought which was to get out. Harry kept screaming and muttering as he tried in vain to fight Snape's spell off so he could escape. Till finally he saw in Narcissa's face an apologetic look as she took out her wand his eyes widened as she cast a light blue spell in his direction. Helpless and unable to move it hit Harry dead on and before he could process what was happening he fell into a deep slumber.
A/N: Thanks for reading yet another chapter, If you couldn't already tell Harry is not leaving this unscathed his mind has just experienced extreme trauma and there will be repercussions.