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S1E13- Human Peer Bonding

" Human peer bonding appeared on the screen" with the theme

This time when the theme song played Nora and Ruby hummed it.

"Oh! Jaune, plug your Scroll up, it's about to die." Pyrrha said quickly, grabbing her charger.

"Oh! Right, I forgot about that." Jaune said plugging it up.

The scene opened to show Tucker and Church at blue base.

Tucker: "Let me get this straight… you're telling me that the guy that showed up here, scared the living shit out of us, shot at Caboose and beat the hell out of the reds wasn't a guy at all? That he was a chick? And on top of that, she was your ex- girlfriend?"

Church: "In a nutshell, yes. That's an excellent summary."

Caboose: "I should have known… She didn't like me… Girls, never, like me."

Jaune got a look on his face and quickly glanced over to Weiss, Pyrrha noticed the look and put a hand on his shoulder. He smiled and she punched his shoulder affectionately.

Tucker: "Caboose, I don't think anybody likes you."

Caboose: "I like me…"

Tucker: "I don't think I've seen a girl that mean before. Are you sure she's a chick? And not a guy? Or like, part guy part shark?"

"Sounds like old Weiss." Ruby said.

"Oh quiet you." Weiss rolled her eyes.

"It's a little weird that he said part guy, part shark and not simply Faunus." Blake hummed.

Church: "I'm pretty sure I'd know if Tex was a guy. And I'm definitely sure I would know if she was part shark."

Caboose: "Wait, oh, wait oh wait. If she's a girl, then why is she named Tex?"

Church: "Uh… because she's from Texas ."

"Hmm, Texas." Weiss muttered typing into her scroll. "Ugh! Nothing!"

Caboose: "…"

Church: "Trust me, it makes sense. And you can't blame her for being so aggressive. It's not entirely her fault to begin with."

"It'd be weird to be named after a place." Nora commented.

"One could say the same about being named after a color, maybe that is part of Tex's culture." Ren suggested.

Tucker: "Right. You should blame God. First he makes hangovers, and now, half women, half sharks that won't even sleep with me. Thanks for nothing, God!"

"They seem religious." Blake said.

"Everyone I know is agnostic besides I think one traveler me and Yang met that was from outside the kingdoms." Ruby commented.

Church: "Will you shut up with that? She got recruited in to some kind of weird experimental program back during basic where, they infused her armor with this really aggressive A.I. I'm not really sure how it all works, but all I know is it made her meaner and tougher than hell."

"Hmm secret military experiments, wonder why that sounds familiar." Blake said sarcastically.

"I know my father funds the Atlas military but I trust that General Ironwood isn't doing anything dangerous." Weiss explained. "He's very honorable."

Ruby was secretly freaking out about how she knows an Atlas secret.

Caboose: " A.I… What's the A stand for?"

"Artificial Intelligence." Weiss rubbed her temples.

Church: "Artificial."

Caboose: "… What's the I-"

Church: "Intelligence."

Caboose: "Ooohhhhhhhhh what was the A again?"

Church: "Let's move on."

Tucker: "So, the military put this program in her head, and that program made her a killer. But underneath it all she's really just a sweet, down-home girl?"

Church: "Oh hell no. She's always been a rotten bitch, it's just now she's a rotten bitch with cybernetic enhancements."

"Wow, I wonder why they ever started dating, it seems like a toxic relationship." Blake said.

"Do you know anything about toxic relationships?" Yang asked.

"I have some experience. My mentor Adam and I never were really..official but… our ideals clashed and he was turning into a monster. So I left him and more importantly, the White Fang. I doubt he cares much about me, it's not like him to go on some vendetta against his ex, he cares deeply about the White Fang and the Faunus." Blake explained. "But he was getting controlling, and I could see him getting worse if I had stayed."

"You wanna talk about it?" Yang asked.

"No I'm fine, and I mean honestly fine, let's keep watching." Blake said smiling.

Tucker: "Wow. Sounds like you really won the lottery with that one. Good catch there buddy, she's a keeper."

Church: "So how're you doing, Caboose? Are you following any of this whatsoever?"

Caboose: "I think so… That guy Tex is really a robot, and you're his boyfriend. So that makes you… a gay robot."

"His power of deduction is astounding." Weiss said sarcastically. Nora almost spit her water out from laughter.

Church: "Yeah… that's right… I'm a gay robot."

Cut to Grif and Simmons holding Tex at gunpoint

Grif: "So, you're a girl, huh?"

Tex:…

Simmons: "Just ignore him, that's what I do."

Weiss chuckled. "Simmons isn't so bad."

Grif: "Not so tough now that we unloaded your weapon, are ya…"

Tex: "Hey punk, I don't need a weapon to kill you."

Grif: "Yeah, right. What're you gonna do, punch me?"

Tex leans in at Grif quickly, then leans back. Grif flinches and steps back

Grif: "Aaah, not the face!"

"I really like Tex." Yang said.

Back to the blue base

Church: "Well don't worry, because I have a great plan for how we're gonna rescue Tex."

Tucker: "A plan? Oh, man, I hate plans . That means we're gonna have to do stuff. Can't we just have a strategy, or… mission statement?"

"That's exactly what a plan is." Weiss said.

"I think it's a joke on how plans always seem to go wrong." Jaune said.

"Like team RWBY's" Nora said.

"Do you have something to say?" Yang asked threateningly.

"Hmm? I don't know what you mean."

Yang grumbled a bit before snatching Jaune's scroll and hitting play.

Church: "I just need you guys to run a distraction, while I spring Tex."

Caboose: "Distraction? Heh. That sounds a lot like decoy."

Church: "The way I see it, the reds have absolutely no idea how many freelancers we have out here. So all I need from the two of you, is to run around in the middle of the canyon, wearing black armor, while I sneak in the back of the base."

Tucker: "Sounds good. But Church, where the hell are we gonna get two suits of black armor?"

Church looks at the teleporter, then Tucker looks at the teleporter

Tucker: "Oh fuckberries…"

The scene faded to black.

"Fuck berries…" Yang snorted and shook her head.